Gabrielle Bernstein is the New York Times best-selling author of Miracles Now and May Cause Miracles. Following is the full transcript of Gabby’s TEDx Talk titled ‘How to Be a miracle worker’ at TEDxFiDiWomen Event.
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Gabrielle Bernstein – Motivational speaker, life coach, and author
Hello, beautiful TED folks. How are you all?
So, I’ve been up since 3 AM. I had a long day and am on East Coast time. So it’s a little funky. And I often get woken up at that hour because this is when the spiritful veil is lifted. This is a beautiful magic hour that 2 to 3 AM when we have this opportunity to connect to the divine energy around us. And I am often woken at that time to get to work. This is where some of my greatest work happens: 3 o’clock in the morning.
And so I got the wake-up call and I said, OK let me sit up in my bed, and I sat myself up, and I started to breathe and I started to connect and center in to my internal guidance system. And I kept hearing my ego, my fear voice say, “18 minutes, 18 minutes, 18 minutes.” All we have is 18 minutes to speak to you. And then I kept hearing this other dialogue of, “You always have 2 hours 18 minutes is not long enough”, and going into that negative talk of “only 18 minutes.”
And then I just listened, I breathed into the discomfort of this future tripping and I just allowed myself to experience whatever that issue was and within a few seconds it started to lift and I listened to my internal dialogue, my inner guidance system and that voice within me said, “Speak your truth and time will expand.”
And I took a deep breath and I said, “Yes! Thank you that’s exactly what I needed to hear as usual.” I closed out my meditation, stood up out of my bed, went to my computer and deleted my TED talk outline. I let go of the form, I let go of the “how to” or the details or the time frame or the “everyone else does it this way” crap and I said, the way I do this is share my truth and time expands, share my truth and my inspiration can speak through me, share my truth and I will be of the highest service I can possibly be.
And so I listened, I got a few moments of sleep and when I was ready to roll out of bed I said my morning prayer and I said, “Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say? And what would you have me wear?” I did good, right? And then I began my day — and my TED talk outline is in the delete section of my Google Docs. And you are going to get my truth. You will get it in 18 minutes.
And my truth, my truth is so connected to me today. I live my truth, I walk my truth, I breathe my truth. Of course there are many moments when I am disconnected from my truth, but I know where to go, I sit down on that meditation pillow, and I reconnect, and I recalibrate and I come back home.
As a result of living in my truth I’ve been guided to be a student and a teacher of the metaphysical text A Course in Miracles. And, I have, as a result of being a student of the course, experienced many miraculous shifts in my own life. And today I live a life far beyond my wildest dreams. But it was not always this awesome.
About 6 years ago, I lived a much different life, in a much different way. I was emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. I lived the first 25 years of my life really looking for happiness and self-worth and connectedness in all the wrong places. I was looking for this connection and the inspiration in my credentials or in my relationships, or in an amount of money or in a pair of shoes, or in the fact that I had access to some great night club. Who knows, I was just looking for it in all of these outside circumstances.
And it was a really tough search, it was an endless search, it was a difficult search and it was terrifyingly difficult and sad. I got to the point when I was 21, I opened my first business and I really felt as though I have arrived because now I have a credential that says I am doing something great in the world. But meanwhile I just felt completely emotionally bankrupt. And so I continued on for about 5 years, living in this way, of running this business and living this fast paced New York City lifestyle and having all of the necessary trappings of what it took to be a happy person, a person who had “a lot going on.” But in the midst of that I was anesthetizing all of these deep rooted fears, and deep rooted anxieties and terrible, terrible thoughts — thoughts of inadequacy, thoughts that I’m not good enough unless I have a romantic partner, thoughts that I’m not good enough if I don’t get this new client or have that amount enough money. I’m not good enough “because” — I had a terrible case of the “when-I-haves.” When I have that new client, I’ll be happy. When I have that new pair of shoes I’ll be happy. When I have that new relationship, I’ll be happy.
And when my when-I-haves became my I-haves I was still unhappy. And then by the time I was 25, I was really trying to anesthetize all this discomfort with all these different kinds of things such as food, and alcohol, and romance, and sex, and money and worst of all, drugs. By the time I was 25 I picked up a very very bad cocaine addiction and I was physically drained, emotionally deteriorating and spiritually dead.