What Men Secretly Want by James Bauer (Full Transcript)

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James Bauer – Relationship Coach

What if you knew what men secretly wanted but they could never tell you. Right here, right now there’s a surprising reason men are committing to you and exactly how to get them to commit and say yes now.

Hello, my name is James Bauer. And if you’ve ever wanted to know how to truly understand any man, then this is the most important article you’ll ever read. You’re going to discover a secret loophole in the male minds that will allow you to truly connect with any man and get him to commit to you for good. You will also learn about a simple shift that you can make to see the world through a different lens – a lens that will reveal exactly what men are thinking and what they really want in a woman. Read on to discover how you can use this powerful principle in your life to become more attractive to men and have an incredible relationship starting today.

Let me ask you. Have you ever had a feeling that things are going well with your man but somehow knew that something was wrong and had a feeling of dread that you can’t quite place? Have you tried to have the talk with your boyfriend to figure out the status of your relationship only to have him suddenly go cold at even the mention of commitment? Have you been in a relationship with an amazing guy before when he suddenly became distant and his whole attitude changed and before you knew that he was gone?

Have you felt things are going great with a guy and this could be your boyfriend or your husband, and you want to do everything in your power to make sure the relationship not only survives but thrives? Have you ever wondered if he really loves you, or if he is bored in the relationship? Have you just wanted to make him the inside you the perfect girl for him and together you would make the perfect couple and live an amazing life together?

Well, you’re definitely not alone in these experiences. As a relationship consultant, I hear unfortunate stories like this all the time. But when the problem hit a little too close to home, I knew I had to do something about it.

You’re about to discover a deep seated gap in communication that very few women or men understand. The same gap has the biggest impact on the success or failure of a relationship. Yet hardly anyone talks about it.

The good news is if you know how to bridge the gap, it’s possible for you to enjoy a rare kind of relationship most women simply can’t imagine: a bright and vivid romance that makes life exciting and worth living.

I’m going to tell you about the lunch that changed everything. Since I am a relationship consultant, I get asked for relationship advice a lot from my female friends. And a short time ago, I agreed to sit down for lunch with a woman that I’ve known for a very long time.

She was experiencing an emotionally painful situation that I had heard of many times before. She had met a new guy at work, and at first, things were exciting and seemed to be going really well. It started with tantalizing phone calls and texts and soon moved on to romantic dates she would rush home to tell her friends all about.

For weeks, she thought everything was going perfect. They would spend all night talking and text for all throughout the workday. And one day, while on a date with him, she couldn’t help but feel so good about how things were going. They had an amazing romantic night together. They gushed on the phone that night about what the future held, and the night ended really well. But that’s where things went bad.

During their nightly call, he suddenly became very silent. She had never known him to be like that before. He was usually so cheerful and romantic. She tried to figure out what was wrong, but he just said that he was tired and had to go. But that was just the beginning.

She tried to call him the next day, and again he ended the call a lot sooner than normal. Soon her texts started to go unanswered and for a long, they stopped altogether. She never heard from him again.

She didn’t want to tell her friends about it, because of how many times she had told them he was the one and how amazing everything was. But that night she went to sleep wondering if she was just terminally flawed when it came to dating, thinking maybe she was just meant to be single forever and never know what it was like to have a secure and loving relationship.

The next morning she woke with the same feeling of dread and loneliness she had felt for years. She was in so much pain she couldn’t even go to work. So she decided it was time to call me up.

It was hard for me to hear. There was obviously a lot of pain in her voice. Unfortunately I hear the story all the time, and the worst part is she didn’t even know what she was doing wrong or why he didn’t call her back. I care deeply for this girl and I was very familiar with this specific problem.

But as we sat there and talked, an idea struck me like a lightning bolt. That past week I’ve been trying to understand and solve a similar but unrelated problem for a course I was creating primarily for men. With a surge of excitement, it suddenly occurred to me that both issues were actually very related. It all had to do with their primal driving force in all men that few, if any, are even aware of.

Respect Principle

Using a little creative problem solving, I quickly formulated a simple solution I was confident would work for any situation. The answer had been right in front of me and something that I now call the Respect Principle and it’s the biggest key for getting any man to want to truly commit to you.

Once I told her about the insight and the solution I had, which really only took about 10 minutes to explain, she completely lit up. I didn’t expect her to believe me so quickly but she seemed instinctively get it. She knew she had to do differently and she was eager to put her new knowledge into action.

For her, it became a story with a fairytale ending. She’s now engaged to an amazing man that adores her for who she is because she actually understands the way he thinks and the way he experiences relationships. But for so many women out there, things just aren’t as easy. They don’t understand this vital principle.

The root of the problem actually comes from a deep misunderstanding that you see everywhere in the media and popular shows and magazines. Sometimes it happens during the attraction phase, and sometimes the same root problem manifests much later when talk of marriage and commitment comes up.

But the good news is it’s not your fault and there’s a clear and effective plan for easily overcoming the problem. The key is understanding men on a deep emotional level and how the subtle things you say to a man affect much more than you might think. When you know how to do this, you’ll be able to deeply connect with a man and powerfully attract him.

Let me show you what I mean. Here’s the truth about how men think. Research on how men think reveals a surprising fact. There’s a vast divide in the way men and women think. Now I know that that’s not exactly breaking news. But the specific thing I’m talking about is actually something that very few women understand and it’s absolutely critical to truly connecting with a man on a deep emotional level.

I’m talking about something that saturates as mental and emotional experience so much that he’d have a hard time explaining it to you because he doesn’t even realize it’s there. To put it simply, if given a choice, men would rather be respected than loved. In other words, men are powerfully attracted to women who trigger feelings of respect and admiration in them and this is absolutely key.

Now you probably feel like you have a pretty clear picture of what this means. But it’s more of a deep seated issue than you might think.

Here’s an example. There’s a lady that wanted to do research on this subject. She created a simple survey men could take that only had two questions. Would they rather feel, one, alone and unloved in the world, Or two, inadequate and disrespected by everyone?

Many of the men responding to the survey were confused because they couldn’t see any difference between the two options. In other words, they saw the two options as the same thing.

 

Now think about the implications of that. Also consider that even with this confusion, 74% of men said they would rather feel unloved than disrespected.

So what does that have to do with getting a man to commit to you? Everything. When you understand this principle, you’ll have an unfair advantage that steals a man’s attention and makes you irresistibly attractive to him. Every other woman will pale in comparison and you’ll be the only thing on his mind when he sees you as the one woman that truly gets him.

So how does this Respect Principle work?

Well, we’re not talking about respect like in the Godfather movies, but more like this.

Here’s what it looks like. I recently shared this very principle with a woman that fell like her marriage was slipping away and needed some help from me. After I shared everything with her, it was like the secret world of how men think was suddenly revealed to her. Things that used to baffle her suddenly made perfect sense.

When he went cold and silent, she knew exactly why and how she had accidentally triggered it. So she started to make simple changes like I recommended. They were just simple things like changing just one word in her language in certain situations. Others were simple shifts in her attitude that made a massive difference in his.

Before she knew, they felt exhilarating to be in each other’s company and things just keep getting better for her. In her own words, she said it feels like we’re going through the honeymoon phase again. And that’s just the beginning. Things will continue to snowball in their relationship and their love will continue to grow more and more. Why? Because you want someone that truly understands you. It’s that deep connection that emotionally bonds you with another person. It’s the kind of togetherness you feel when you know that you’re braving the world with your other half. Someone that knows you just as well or better than you know yourself.

That’s what we all want, right? Well, that’s definitely what your man wants. He just doesn’t know how to say it. He wants these things as badly as you do. He just sees the world in a much different way. So few women really get the Respect Principle, but when you do, you will know how to subtly show him through your actions that you truly understand him and his attraction and devotion towards you will soar.