And as I did that, things became clearer and clearer, and I started seeing how I contributed. And then one day, one morning I got up, I’m getting ready to go out, and I looked into the mirror, and I said, “You know what? I’m going to be your best friend.”
And the other me, looking back at me, went, “Really?”
And I said, “Yeah, what do you want to do today?”
And I started doing things with myself that I wanted to do with a friend — with my best friend. So me and me would do things: we were painting, we went for a walk, went out to dinner, we went to the movies, we were having fun — me and me.
And as I was giving to myself in this way, I felt better and better about myself, loved myself more, and the weirdest thing happens — as I was loving myself more, other people were coming to me.
I was my own best friend, and therefore I had plenty of other love for other people. It wasn’t desperate with one person. It was the most amazing thing, and now I have tons of friends. And they were wonderful, and there’s no desperation.
And so one of the things that I want you to know is that when I talk about this, people come lining up and say, “You know, that happened to me.”
“You know, that happened to me.”
“Really?” And I started asking them, “When did that happen?”
“10 years ago.”
“20 years ago.”
“30 years ago.”
They still have the bullet in their head that they haven’t extracted.
And so, I’m sure people listening to this — because I’ve heard it from so many people — either have a toxic friendship or they’ve lived one in the past, and they still have some pain about it.
And so, I’d invite you to let that out. You know, they say when you’re looking for a friend, the best friends are two equals, whole people. There’s no such thing.
In fact, what I invite you to do is to find somebody that you really, really like and love who’s flawed. Two flawed people who can appreciate each other and even appreciate the flaw make great friends.
So, a really good friend is a good egg that is lightly cracked.
Download This Transcript as PDF here: 8 Signs of a Toxic Friendship_ Sharon Livingston (Full Transcript)
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