Call Her Daddy Podcast: w/ Hailey Bieber (Transcript)

No, but it’s just a feeling of… it’s just annoying. It’s the feeling of hitting a breaking point of, I just can’t stand it anymore.

And some days are totally fine, though, and some I can avoid it and I sometimes get really lucky and sneak different ways to do it. But I think what I’ve come to terms with is that’s going to happen in LA. You know what I mean? This isn’t the middle of nowhere where there’s actual privacy. It’s the land of where everything happens. There’s tons of people here.

It’s also, I’m not the only person that deals with this. So many people deal with it, and it comes with the territory. And it’s not like… I hate when people are like, “Well, you asked for this.” Because it’s like, I don’t think that’s a real thing to say. I didn’t ask for grown men to follow me around with cameras, but I do understand that it comes with the territory.

Trust and Friendships

ALEX COOPER: It’s hard to make friends when you’re in a position where you don’t know people’s intentions. Do you have a hard time trusting people sometimes?

HAILEY BIEBER: Sometimes I feel like I’m the type of person, and I’ve always been this way, where I trust people until they prove me wrong, which is, I guess sometimes can be a dangerous way to be. I’m a people person. I love to connect with people. I love meeting new people.

I sometimes have a hard time with becoming friends with someone or close to someone, but I love being cool with people and being social and meeting people and knowing their story and where are they from? I think that a lot of my friends that I’m very close to are people I’ve been close to for a long time. Some newer friends, some not. But I just think, yeah, I think there’s sometimes that aspect of the distrust of, I don’t know what you want to be around for.

ALEX COOPER: Have you ever had someone take advantage of you and your situation and kind of love that? It’s like, “Oh, I get this lifestyle around her.” And how do you deal with that?

HAILEY BIEBER: My personality is very… I don’t do well with confrontation. I don’t like to confront awkward situations. I’m trying to work on it. I’m trying to be better at that. But I never want to… I’ve always been the type of person where I don’t want to end things on a sour note with a person because especially if there’s someone in an industry where I have to see them or if we’re going to be out somewhere and I got to see… I don’t want to walk into a room and feel like I have beef with someone. That stresses me out big time.

ALEX COOPER: Even if it’s so you can stick up for yourself. Yeah, we’re working on that today.

HAILEY BIEBER: Yeah, we’re working on that today. We’re working on that. Yeah. Even if it’s… that’s something I struggle with. Even if it’s for me sticking up for myself, I just want to… because I think there’s a way to stick up for yourself and still be cordial.

I’ve had situations, or a situation where I feel like there was a lot of stuff I found out about the situation. And then I knew if I confronted the person, they were just not going to own up to any of it. So it’s like, what’s the point, right? If I’m going to go to you and be like, “Here’s what I found out. I know that it’s true. I’ve seen the proof. Too many people have said something to me about it,” and they’re just going to be like, “I can’t believe you would believe that about me. That’s just not true.”

Why am I going to waste my breath with somebody who’s just not even… who’s not in the place in their life, or the type of person that is going to even receive the confrontation at all? Because I can do confrontation if it’s in a calm, appropriate… I’m not a yeller. I’m not going to freak out. And I’ll get fired up when it’s something that I’m really passionate about or defensive about. Because I’ve had that happen to me before, but I still always want to end it on a… how did we move forward from here? Not like…

And sometimes the reality I’ve had to face is that sometimes that’s not possible. Sometimes you just can’t be around that person or be friends with that person. And it is what it is.

ALEX COOPER: Totally.

HAILEY BIEBER: You just have to move on.

Speaking Her Truth

ALEX COOPER: So many people in the world are fascinated by you and fascinated by your life. And I think the public can kind of feel that from you. Of, you don’t like confrontation. You rarely will speak out on things if there’s drama, which I think so many people do respect you for. But how much does that then weigh on you of things piling up on you? That it’s like, when is going to be a good moment for Hailey to just kind of speak her truth? And you’ve done it a couple times on the Internet, which I think people were like, “Oh, f*, yes. Hailey, let’s go.” Which we’re going to get into.

HAILEY BIEBER: Well, I think based on what you’re saying, one of the issues with that is that then you get stuck having to explain yourself for every little thing. And I had to get over that because I was in a place at one point where I felt like I wanted to explain the narrative and explain myself. And that’s also exhausting.

So if it’s like, every single time I do an interview or if I say something and there’s going to be something that people are like, “Why would she say that?” or “She’s wrong for saying that,” or “That doesn’t make sense. You said marriage is hard work.” And then I said that, and everybody was like, “That’s not a good sign if you think that it’s hard.”

It’s like, no matter what I say, I’m always going to have to be explaining myself to people, which is why I actually hate doing interviews where they’re like, it’s a blurb of a longer thing that I said that’s just so out of context. And then I’m going to feel like I’m explaining myself.

ALEX COOPER: What marriage doesn’t have ups and downs, and in a good way, you get…

Marriage Takes Work

HAILEY BIEBER: But also what I meant when I said hard work is just, there’s compromise, there’s sacrifice. I feel that way in most relationships in my life. Even friendships, even work relationships, they can be tough sometimes. I didn’t mean it. Just overall, yeah, it’s hard and it sucks. That’s not what I’m saying at all. It’s literally the best thing ever.

The whole sentence of what I said was he’s my best friend. I love coming home to him. But yeah, it takes work. Because I’m 25 years old and I have a life and I have a career and I have my own friends. So trying to balance making my wants and needs and hopes and dreams work while meshing my life with another human who has his hopes and dreams and career. And we’re busy people and we want to be in a marriage, so we’re making it work. And sometimes it’s hard. How does that not make sense?

ALEX COOPER: People don’t want it to make sense. People really want that statement to be like, the marriage is ending. Here we go.

HAILEY BIEBER: But people have been saying that since the beginning. So that’s why at this point, I’m not as… I was more sensitive about it. I don’t really feel sensitive about it now because I’m just like, totally. No matter what I say, it’s like the marriage is ending. Every single time I say something about my own relationship, it’s like there’s something wrong with it. So it’s like, I just don’t care. People have been saying this now for four years.

The Best Parts of Being Married to Justin

ALEX COOPER: So let’s get into it. You are married.

HAILEY BIEBER: Sticking my feet, you’re like, oh, Alex, just go.

ALEX COOPER: She’s literally burrowing in. Okay. You married one of the most famous people on the planet, Justin Bieber. What are the best parts about being married to Justin?

HAILEY BIEBER: Well, I think the best parts are that he’s my best friend. And there’s nothing better than being with the person that makes you smile the most, makes you laugh the most. He’s just literally the best human to me ever. And I think that he’s a person who has been through a lot and shouldn’t have gotten to the other side of a lot of what he’s been through. And he has, and he’s overcome so many different things in his life for being famous so young and the fact that he’s as normal as he is.

He’s literally just… to me, I feel like he’s a very normal, regular guy. I guarantee you, someone takes this and they f*ing chop it up and make it sound like I said something different. But I’ve known him for a very long time. We were friends for a long time before anything else. And I just love him.

ALEX COOPER: You can see it with the two of you, even though we only see stuff. I mean, I remember when I saw you guys on the beach in Santa Barbara and I grew up, I watched Justin Bieber. I was like, oh. I didn’t know what to expect. I was definitely intimidated by you guys because we’d only met once. I was like, wait, why are they so normal? Just like, hey, what’s up? Gives me a hug. You’re like, what are you guys doing on your trip? I’m like, you guys are so, so normal for what? How crazy your life is. And it’s unfortunate that people don’t get to see that side of you guys.

HAILEY BIEBER: Yeah, he’s also… he just has the kindest, sweetest, most gentle heart and soul to me. And I’ve always thought that about him. Obviously, he’s gone through phases in his life where he was being, you know, a little out there. I didn’t want to say f* boy, because it’s not… yeah. But yes and no.

ALEX COOPER: I don’t know.

HAILEY BIEBER: I don’t know how to describe it, but he was just in a different space in his life and was… I think ultimately when people are acting out, it’s just because they’re hurting. And he was just in a space in his life. I mean, we’re all hurting every single day, but I think sometimes we go through a season where it’s we’re hurting a lot more, we’re going through a lot more. So we’re just a different version of ourself. That’s not really who we are.

But to me, he’s just the best, the most fun. I have the most fun with him. He understands me more than anybody ever has in my whole life. And I think that goes both ways. And he’s just my guy.

The Impact of Fame on Identity

ALEX COOPER: How has being married to someone with that level of fame impacted your identity?

HAILEY BIEBER: Where do I start? Well, I think even for starters, even me talking about him or talking about our relationship, people will take that and be like, all she ever talks about is her relationship with him. And even something like that, I’m just like, well, we are married, and he’s a huge part of my life. And obviously, people are very interested in our life together. And he’s a humongous public figure.

So it’s a little bit unavoidable at times. And I do try to, you know, have my own thing, but it’s like our lives are completely meshed together. So I don’t know, what do you want from me? Of course people are going to ask me about it. They’re going to ask him about it. I just don’t see how that’s avoidable. And sometimes it is because it’s just not necessary to talk about. But even in a situation like this, yeah, we’re married, I have his last name. I don’t know how I’m supposed to avoid talking about my life. That’s my life.

ALEX COOPER: This person that you happen to be married to happens to also one of the most famous people.

HAILEY BIEBER: Nobody would be asking me about him if he was someone who had a different type of job or a nine to five. I just… the reality is that it is what it is.

Setting the Record Straight on the Timeline

ALEX COOPER: From your point of view, can you explain why the Internet was so angry over your engagement to Justin?

HAILEY BIEBER: First of all, I think one thing is that we’re both really young. That’s, I think, honestly, that’s for starters, which I totally understand. When we got engaged, I was 21 and he was 24. Yeah, 24 and 21. I personally never thought I was going to get married that young. I always thought I would be maybe getting married now. And I’m 25 now, and I still think I’m really young.

I think the timing was obviously very rapid and very fast, which now being four years past that, looking back on it, I totally get it. I’m like, yeah, that seemed really drastic and really crazy because… but that was what we felt was a decision between the two of us, and it felt correct for the two of us at the time. And clearly we were right, because here we are four years later.

And I think just given the timeline of where he was at before we got back together and what was going on, and there was just a lot happening. But I will say, too, the only people that really know the truth of the situation and what the timeline really was and how it happened and how it went down are me and him.

Perception is a really tricky thing, because when you’re watching something from the outside, you can see it one way when it may not really be the reality of what happened behind closed doors. And that’s a big challenge, I think, of being somebody who is in the spotlight or being famous is that I know how we got to where we got, period. That’s… I just know how it happened. I was there, and I was living it every day. So there’s just… yeah, there’s a lot that I can understand why people were so… what is going on? This seems crazy.

ALEX COOPER: Your husband was in a very public relationship. They were kids. People were obsessed with the idea of them. People were confused on the timeline you’re talking about of, is she a homewrecker? So I guess my question is, Hailey.

HAILEY BIEBER: Mm.

ALEX COOPER: Were you ever with Justin romantically at the same time as her?

HAILEY BIEBER: No, not one time. When him and I started hanging out… okay, let’s just put it this way. When him and I ever started hooking up or anything of that sort, he was not ever in a relationship ever at any point. I would never. It’s not my character to mess with someone’s relationship. I would just never do that. I was raised better than that. I’m not interested in doing that, and I never was.

I think that there are situations where you can still kind of have back and forth with someone, but even that was not the situation. I can say, period, point blank, I was never with him when he was in a relationship with anybody. That’s the end of it. And I had been involved with him since I was 18.

The timeline also, that I think sometimes is in question of us getting together and getting engaged and him having been spending time with his ex before that. This is so crazy. I’ve literally never talked about this ever. I understand, again, how it looks from the outside, and there’s a lot of perception there, but that was a situation where I know for a fact that it was the right thing for them to close that door.

They were not in a relationship at that time. But of course, there’s a very long history there, and it’s not my relationship. It has nothing to do with me. So I respect that a lot. But I know that it closed a chapter, and I think it was the best thing that could have happened for him to move on and be engaged and get married and move on with his life in that way.

And it’s hard for me to talk about this because I don’t want to talk on either one of their behalf again, because it was their relationship, and I honestly respect that very deeply. But I just know what was going on when we got back together, and I know what had to happen for that to come back together in a healthy way. And I think it was the most healthy, mature decision that he could have made, and I respect that.

As a woman, I would never want to get into a relationship with someone and be engaged to them and be getting married to them and think in the back of my mind, I wonder if that was really closed for you. And I know for a fact that the reason we were able to get back together was because it was very much completely closed. And that is respectful to me.

Dealing with Online Hate

ALEX COOPER: So let’s talk about your experience with… there’s been a lot of hate on the Internet. I know you don’t like to talk about this stuff, but you’ve never…

HAILEY BIEBER: It literally makes me so uncomfortable. Yeah, I’m can’t stop moving, and I’m crawling because I just feel like there’s a little bit of that anxiety of people will probably take it the wrong way, or I just don’t want to say something that is being disrespectful or bringing up something that can stir up feelings for someone that I know that we’re just all so far moved on from any type of drama, and I’m so happy for that.

So I get nervous about talking about it because I’m like, I don’t want to stir anything up or bring anything up that is going to be a thing or…

ALEX COOPER: And I get that. And I think the reason, unfortunately, is you guys aren’t completely normal human beings. There is a complete world out there that is obsessed with all of you in different ways. And then there are people that hate you for who your husband dated back in his past. Take me through how your husband’s past relationship still, to this day, affects what people are saying about you and to you on the Internet.

HAILEY BIEBER: Well, I think one of the things that we already just covered is that the timeline of things and a lot of the hate and the perpetuation comes from, oh, you stole him. And I guess maybe that just comes from the fact that they wished that he had ended up with someone else. And that’s fine. You can wish that all you want, but that’s just not the case.

ALEX COOPER: In December of 2020, a person posted a video encouraging haters to comment on your Instagram live with nasty messages announcing their allegiance for Justin’s ex and just fully harassing you on your life. What do you remember feeling on that Instagram Live when you saw those comments start popping up?

HAILEY BIEBER: I don’t… well, I think there’s a certain, almost numbness that you get where you just… you just know it’s going to happen. It still happens to this day. This is… you’re talking about something that was two years ago now, almost three. And it’s something that’s… if I was to go live on Instagram right now, it would still be happening, probably less, which is nice, but you just reach a point where you’re just… you have to just ignore it and be like, okay.

ALEX COOPER: And didn’t Justin come publicly to your defense and say something?

HAILEY BIEBER: Well, because I know that for him, that’s hurtful. Because if we have moved on, why can’t you? That’s kind of just the whole thought process. It’s just hurtful.

ALEX COOPER: It’s hurtful.

HAILEY BIEBER: It’s bullying.

ALEX COOPER: It brings me back to the Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, the Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth. Their first love, right? And people are obsessed, I feel like, with this concept of your first relationship. Somehow it’s being pushed onto you as a “get the f* out of the way.” Like, let them get back. And you’re like, if I wasn’t even here, that’s not going to happen. So let us just live our lives. And now you go find your partner and you be happy. But it’s hard.

HAILEY BIEBER: I have had this conversation with a psychiatrist, with a therapist before, because I’m just like, I hate comparison. The whole point of this conversation is that we’re talking about how my relationship is being compared to something else, or I’m being compared to another woman and, you know, “get the f* out of the way” type of a thing.

So where I’m at and the position I’m in, it’s not for everybody, but everybody has a purpose. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re supposed to also be 25 and married and doing this. I could have nothing figured out right now if in an alternate situation, in an alternate life.

ALEX COOPER: And I think Hailey, he was America’s bad boy sweetheart. And so I think there’s ownership people and fans feel over him.

HAILEY BIEBER: There totally is. And there’s also this, why is it you? There’s so much of that that I feel like, why you, though? And I’m like, I don’t know.

ALEX COOPER: Right? I just fell in love. He fell in love.

HAILEY BIEBER: And I think there were times where I’d be, I can confidently say, I don’t think we knew it was going to be each other several times. So I can’t say that, yes, at 18 years old, I knew 100% that that was my husband. I didn’t f*ing know.

ALEX COOPER: You almost can’t live up to the idea of who they think belongs with him.

HAILEY BIEBER: Nobody would have. This is the thing. If it was any, if it was another person, because so many people have adored him for so long, nobody in their mind would have ever been the person.

And here’s the thing, too, we’re talking about a lot of the negative side of it, but there’s also so many people who have made me feel so embraced and so encouraged and so loved. And obviously, it has brought me a newfound audience and a newfound, you know, there it just, I want to give credit also to the people who have supported and been so kind and so amazing and so great.

The Reality of Online Harassment

ALEX COOPER: I think everyone in the world almost knows that you have been bullied and harassed on the Internet for almost four years now.

HAILEY BIEBER: That’s a fact.

ALEX COOPER: And it’s…

HAILEY BIEBER: But I do think it has changed. Okay. I will give credit to say that I do think that four years ago, three years ago, two and a half years ago, because of how intense it was, it made me just very closed off and not want to share anything, really, of myself on the Internet. I didn’t really want to be open.

I would get a pit in my stomach doing interviews because I’m just like, I can’t. It’s like being traumatized. Kind of like you’re too scared to speak or open yourself up or say the wrong thing, and then you start to become, I had moments where I felt like I was becoming very, not like a robot, but I had to be very meticulous about what I was saying and very agreeable and can’t say the wrong thing. And it just starts to become this very weird way of feeling where you feel you just can’t be expressive and you can’t be yourself.

And then that was where it came in with wanting to do YouTube and trying to have a space within this age of the Internet and this age of social media where I can say, this is who I actually am. Take it or leave it. Like me or not, this is who I am.

And I felt like actually taking the step to, even though at times it was really uncomfortable for me, taking the step of being, I’m proud of who I am and this is my personality. And this is going to sound probably so corny, but to me, I’ve always felt like I was just a girl from f*ing New York. Oh, my God, this is going to sound so cringe.

I grew up, to me, I felt very normal. I am from a small town called Nyack that is a suburb of New York City. And I woke up every day and I was homeschooled and did ballet. To me, I feel like I’ve remained that same person. Of course, life has changed drastically. But at the core, I feel like I’m proud of who I am at the core. I know I’ve always been that same person.

And I feel very rooted and grounded. And I grew up very grounded and rooted. And of course, I came from a famous family. Everybody, you know, that’s the reality of my life. Can’t change that either.

And I just feel like, again, people didn’t really know me and know my story and know the kind of person I was. People don’t know what kind of friend I am. They don’t know what kind of daughter I am. They don’t know what kind of sister I am.

ALEX COOPER: But I know you are starting to share more. And even in the video that you made where you basically asked people to stop harassing you, and you were like, leave me alone. Just leave me alone.

HAILEY BIEBER: I was half joking, but I was being half serious. It was supposed to be something that was light and funny, but I was also being serious because I woke up one day and I was like, I can’t believe we’re still doing this.

ALEX COOPER: Because, what, you read a comment?

HAILEY BIEBER: Yeah. Which, again, I have to stop myself from doing all the time because we know that the Internet is a toxic hole. And comments are a toxic hole. But I was just curious about something. And then I’m reading. I’m like, are we still talking about this?

We’re getting to, this has been, it’s been years now. Four years we’ve been together. Come on, let it go. Let’s all evolve together. Let’s hold hands and really, okay, we’re done. That’s how I wanted to, that’s how I felt in that moment. I was like, are we serious that this is what we’re still doing? We’re still going to harass me about this s*?

There is so much that I could have said. There was so much that I at times was this close to saying. And I just felt like there’s so many things that were happening where it’s also, there’s a time and a place, and there’s also a time and a place to let other people express what they need to express and go through their feelings and emotions.

And I just felt like there were certain times if I was going to say something, it was going to make things way worse and not be beneficial. Again, it was going to be my word against someone else’s, against a bunch of other people, and it would just not be beneficial.

And I’ve struggled with that for, I had struggled with that for a long time. I would talk to my therapist and be like, but it’s not fair that people think that this is what happened when this is really what happened. And then you get into a cycle of, again, feeling the need to explain yourself.

And for me, it’s not even about explaining myself. It’s about people knowing the truth. Because there’s a truth. There is actually the truth of something that happened, and there’s the truth of what didn’t happen. So I think for me, when people make up stories about me online, I’m just like, but that’s not what happened. That’s not the truth.

Setting the Record Straight

ALEX COOPER: Is the crux of it, the homewrecker thing? Is that what really bothers you?

HAILEY BIEBER: I think there’s a lot of timing and timeline stuff that just wasn’t true. And that’s also just the Internet making up their stories and taking little bits and pieces of something they’re looking at from the outside.

And by the way, it’s not even, it’s so many different things the Internet can make up. They can literally sit here and say that I threw up on you, but that’s not, and you can sit there and say, Hailey threw up on me. It was really crazy. And then I would read that on TMZ and I’d be like, that did not happen. Do you know what I’m saying?

ALEX COOPER: There’s just stuff that happens all the time.

HAILEY BIEBER: That I’m like, hello.

ALEX COOPER: Can you explain what happened when you were taking photos on the red carpet with your husband at the Met Gala in 2021?

HAILEY BIEBER: Oh. And people were screaming. So, yes, I could hear everyone screaming. And again, I think there’s a certain part of you that has a numbness of just, I was really surprised I could kind of hear, but I didn’t know if that’s what was really going on until I saw the video.

After the whole thing of everybody being like, oh, he’s trying to tell her not to cry. That was not true. It wasn’t making me cry. Although it’s a very disrespectful thing to do towards anybody. I felt like I had something in my eye that was, see, that’s just what goes to show you how out of context things can be seen.

When he’s trying to help me, I’m like, I feel like there’s something in my eye. Do you see something in my eye? And I’m going like this. And he’s like, no, no, no, you’re good.

ALEX COOPER: And as this is happening, everyone’s chanting. Was it there? Was it, I don’t even know if it was their relationship name or just her name. So then you take the sunglasses.

HAILEY BIEBER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: And the sunglasses were just part of my look.

HAILEY BIEBER: They were just part of my look. I knew I was going to wear the sunglasses regardless on the carpet for some photos and then some without.

But, yeah, I did hear people yelling. It wasn’t making me almost cry. I think seeing the video back after made me, damn, that sucks. That’s the energy people are putting out. That you would even spend your time camping out, standing outside and doing that.

I just felt like it was, it was disrespectful to me, to my relationship. It just was, period, the end. But I think I’ve endured so much disrespect, and I still do to this day, that there was a part of me that was just like, another day, another negative slay.

ALEX COOPER: It’s so depressing. I know that’s a very public example, I feel like, of you having to go through that. Is there anything that comes to mind that was supposed to be a happy moment for you, for you and Justin, whatever. And it was ruined by harassment or bullying or this concept of his past?

HAILEY BIEBER: They’ve never ruined anything for me. They’ve never, they’re not ruining my life. They’re not ruining my happiness. And that, I think, is really the win of the whole thing. You’re actually not taking anything away from me.

So that’s what I just keep stepping forward with. It’s like, you can’t take this away from me. You cannot take away my happiness, my relationship, my business, my career. You just, you can’t. You can try and you can be mad about it, but it doesn’t change anything is my point.

ALEX COOPER: Hailey, what do you think the Internet wants you to do?

HAILEY BIEBER: I don’t know. I would, I don’t know.

ALEX COOPER: If you were trying to get under it.

HAILEY BIEBER: Sometimes I joke around. I’m like, would they be happy if I just moved away and locked myself in a house and just, I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know what the goal is. That’s what’s so funny is I’m just like, I don’t try to understand, what is the goal?

ALEX COOPER: I think I would say a lot.

HAILEY BIEBER: Of the time it’s a tent. I think it’s a tension. I think a lot of people, sometimes they do things and they say things in hopes to get a response out of you and to get a rise. And I’ve seen it happen with a lot of other people too. Like, “you’re ugly.” And then you respond and you’re like, “I wish you the best. I’m sorry you feel that way.” And they’re like, “oh my God, Queen, I’m sorry. I actually love you. I was just being silly.”

ALEX COOPER: You’re like, that wasn’t funny. That wasn’t funny at all.

HAILEY BIEBER: Calling me ugly.

ALEX COOPER: I guess it is kind of funny because look at you. So f* off.

HAILEY BIEBER: No, it’s just like, what was your point? So then the point is they get the attention that they thought. I think a lot of people think you’ll not respond. And I’ve had that happen before too. “I didn’t think you would see it. I’m sorry.” And I’m like, so why are you saying it? Are you just bored? I don’t know.

ALEX COOPER: Can you try to explain what does it feel like to have millions of people against your relationship? Like, what does that feel like on a day to day basis to you?

The Weight of Public Opinion

HAILEY BIEBER: I guess the biggest thing is I think it’s sad. I think it’s sad to be against someone’s happiness. I think it’s sad to not wish somebody well. Who am I supposed to be that would be acceptable? And then that means that I’m living for other people. And that means that I’m being a people pleaser, which I struggle with a lot.

I do want people to like me. It does bother me when people just don’t like me simply because of the rumors they’ve heard or the ideas they’ve come up with or things that they’ve seen. It makes me sad, but I think I’ve had to come to the point and the realization of there is no way that you exist as a person, especially not as a person with a platform or in the public eye where everybody loves you. And that’s even in life in general.

Even if I was just in a normal situation, not everybody’s going to like you. I’m just existing in front of a lot of people. So it’s very easy to make up your decisions about how you feel about someone, especially when there’s so much access to look at them and see what they’re doing and their social media and there’s photos and there’s just life. So I don’t know. I think that sometimes it feels really heavy.

ALEX COOPER: What has been your lowest moment since all of this began?

Dark Moments and Finding Support

HAILEY BIEBER: When things can get really dark and you can start having thoughts of it not being worth it anymore or not wanting to be here anymore, which I have had before in the past, and coming out of that, I think it’s really important. A support system is the most important thing for sure.

ALEX COOPER: Maybe if you could talk about the shame of having those feelings, because I bet a lot of people listening have had those thoughts, and you’re really alone with them. And how to even comprehend them is a process in itself.

HAILEY BIEBER: Sometimes I don’t think we can comprehend them on our own, because then you just throw yourself back into a vicious cycle. I do think sometimes you need to express it, and you need to go to someone who is going to feel safe for you and support you in those thoughts, not make you feel like you’re crazy or that you’re wrong for feeling dark and deep and heavy.

There’s also this kind of weird, twisted thing where I’m like, I don’t get to feel that way because I have an amazing life and I’m so blessed and I’m so fortunate. So it’s almost like my dialogue in my head feels like, “get the f* over it. You don’t get to feel that way because there are people in this world that are really struggling and you’re not.” That’s sometimes how I feel. I talk to myself because I’m like, “get over it. You’re fine.” That kind of a thing.

And I’ve had to really try to be more gentle with myself and allow myself. I’m somebody who hates crying in front of people. I don’t do it. Just don’t like it. And it’s been since I was a little kid and I’ve never understood. I mean, I’ve started to a little bit more in therapy and stuff, but I’m like, why do I find it so embarrassing to cry in front of people when it’s like everybody cries and it’s such a vulnerable thing. But I’m like, it feels so awkward and cringe to me to cry in front of people. And it’s always been such an uncomfortable thing for me.

So when I say I’m shy and stuff, I have been guarded emotionally in ways since I was a little girl. So I think going through the process of also trying to understand why we have some of the tendencies we have since childhood. What are the things that have happened to me when I was a little kid that have brought me to the place of feeling like I have to have the self dialogue of, “you don’t get to feel that way. Get the f* over it. People are way worse off than you.”

Which is also true. There are people who are going through a lot of different struggles and different things, but it’s the sense of not invalidating the way that I feel. And I’m still working on that. And I’m 100% sure that I will be forever working on that.

Therapy and Breaking Patterns

In December, going into the new year, I went to this place that was a therapy intensive. I was there for seven days, no phone, literally therapy hours and hours a day. And that was something that we spoke about, about tiptoeing around the way I feel or not sticking up for myself because again, it kind of boils back to I’ve never enjoyed confrontation and I think a lot of it comes from my mom.

My mom is a very sweet woman who is just an angel. But she, as far as I can remember, she never liked confrontation. And she, I feel like, didn’t stick up for herself. And at times still to this day doesn’t say what she wants and is like, “I don’t want to do this, I want to do this.” She is a very just gentle, kind of reserved, pulled back woman. And there’s so much about her that I super respect.

But I think it’s just a pattern that I watched growing up of just she was very non-confrontational. And there was a lot we didn’t talk about. There were subjects we danced around. And as I’ve gotten older and had open conversations with my mom, and she’s expressed things that have happened to her in her life and things that she’s gone through that I never knew about, it made me understand why she might be like that. But it’s a pattern, and it’s a learned behavior, I think, a little bit that I am trying to move past and work past.

A Message to the Fans

ALEX COOPER: To close out kind of the chapter of what everything we were discussing, what would you say to her fans? Just coming from your heart, they’re all sitting, listening to you having an open mind. Let’s pretend they had it. What would you say to her fans?

HAILEY BIEBER: I think I would say the first thing I would say is, you’re not obligated to like me. But I believe that no matter what, there can always be mutual respect between people. And to me, that means just, you don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to like me, but you don’t have to say anything either.

Because behind this person that you’re looking at on a screen is a person with a brain and a heart and emotions and issues that I face. And so do you, and so does Alex, and so does every single person in this room. So you just, yeah, I think just mutual respect and decency and know that what you say can have impact and know that, yeah, I guess that’s what I would say.

ALEX COOPER: God, I think I would have been a little nastier. But I love it from you, Hailey.

HAILEY BIEBER: I mean, what I want to say would be, no, I’m just kidding. No, I always made the joke of I think if I sat down with any of those people and they would walk away being like, “you know what? I get it. I respect her for that.” I think we will always have more in common than we don’t. That’s where everything comes from for me. So when I see people being nasty and attacking me, I’m like, we probably like a lot of the same things.

ALEX COOPER: One of my last questions on this topic, because I’m just trying to get all of it just, let’s wrap it in a bow.

HAILEY BIEBER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: So you never have to talk about this again. You’re like, yeah, I wish.

HAILEY BIEBER: No, I literally never will. I’m sweating.

Addressing the Elephant in the Room

ALEX COOPER: At any point, did Justin or any literally anyone ever ask his ex to help put an end to the harassment that her fans put you through?

HAILEY BIEBER: No. What I will say is that she has been in this industry much longer than I have, and maybe there’s something that she knows about, it wouldn’t fix anything.

ALEX COOPER: I think a nice little heart on your TikTok could end it all.

HAILEY BIEBER: The thing is, too, is I think that all everyone is just trying to create separation. Even though there’s clearly not always separation. I have no expectation. I would never expect someone to do that for me. She doesn’t owe me anything. I don’t owe, neither of us owe anybody anything except respect.

I respect her a lot, and I think that there’s just no expectations. If that was something that she felt was necessary, then that would be amazing. But I just, yeah, I respect her. There’s no drama personally.

ALEX COOPER: Have you guys ever spoken?

HAILEY BIEBER: Yes.

ALEX COOPER: And then recently? No, I don’t guess. Not recently, but after your marriage?

HAILEY BIEBER: Yes. So that’s why I’m like, it’s all respect. It’s all love. That’s also why I feel like, well, if everybody on our side knows what happened and we’re good and we could walk away from it with clarity and respect, then that’s fine.

ALEX COOPER: As long as you know, you’re good. That’s really all that matters.

HAILEY BIEBER: Which had brought me a lot of peace. And I’m like, hey, we know what happened.

ALEX COOPER: Mm.

HAILEY BIEBER: It is what it is. You’re never going to be able to correct every narrative, and there’s going to be new ones that come. It’s never going to end. And that’s why I get to the point where I’m like, that’s why I didn’t speak about a lot of this stuff, because I’m like, there’ll be something new. There’ll probably be something new from this interview. Of course. Then I’m just like, you don’t want.

ALEX COOPER: To know what’s going to come from this interview. Hailey Bieber talking about sex.

HAILEY BIEBER: Great.

ALEX COOPER: Okay.

HAILEY BIEBER: Okay.

ALEX COOPER: I am so inspired for 2025 to continue to build my merchandise business. And that all kind of starts and stops on Shopify, right? So, daddy gang, it’s time to build your brand. Head to shopify.com/daddy to see how easy it is to start your business today. Hailey Bieber.

HAILEY BIEBER: Yes.

ALEX COOPER: Welcome to Call Her Daddy. You’re like, we’ve been sitting here for an hour.

Sex, Honesty, and Building Trust

HAILEY BIEBER: She’s like, we’re starting over with scrapping the whole thing.

ALEX COOPER: No, I need to give the fans what they want, right? We need to just give them a little tip taste.

HAILEY BIEBER: Right?

ALEX COOPER: Walk me through. Walk me through. Step by step. Your sex with Justin Bieber.

HAILEY BIEBER: Oh, my God.

ALEX COOPER: I was going to try to do it so, like, so straight face that you’re like, yeah, girls be psycho. No. I was wondering, did anyone ever ask you about your sex life? No, actually, we’re the first ones over here.

HAILEY BIEBER: I don’t think.

ALEX COOPER: Are you a morning sex or night sex people?

HAILEY BIEBER: More so night.

ALEX COOPER: Me too.

HAILEY BIEBER: But I do like morning too. It’s so funny because I talk about this stuff, and the reason I get weird about talking about it is because I’m like, my parents are going to listen to this. There’s something that feels so cringe about your parents.

ALEX COOPER: Hopefully they don’t make it this far.

HAILEY BIEBER: Your parents are probably really progressive and…

ALEX COOPER: True, Hailey, but I grew up fully Catholic.

HAILEY BIEBER: Okay.

ALEX COOPER: So my parents, like, really? It’s Colorado. Really? Like, I went from zero to like, oh, my God, what is she doing?

HAILEY BIEBER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: Say, get over it. This will see this your introduction.

HAILEY BIEBER: Like, I also have theory that people, like, don’t care about married people sex.

ALEX COOPER: I’m sorry. You two are the hottest people in the world. I feel like…

HAILEY BIEBER: I’m like, I don’t think anybody cares.

ALEX COOPER: Oh, I care. Okay, so you’re night sex people. We love that. Okay. This is so graphic, but I’m saying the words. Okay, for the rest of your life, you have to pick one of the two.

HAILEY BIEBER: Okay.

ALEX COOPER: From Mr. Bieber. Are you going to be fingered or eaten out for the rest of your life? You can only take one.

HAILEY BIEBER: That’s very hard because I feel like it’s always a combination.

ALEX COOPER: Has anyone ever tried to have a…

HAILEY BIEBER: Threesome with you, like, in our relationship? No.

ALEX COOPER: Would you be down?

HAILEY BIEBER: No. It’s funny because I feel like those ideas can be really fun and, like, sound really exciting. I think at the point that of inside of our… it doesn’t work for the two of us. We personally, like, that wouldn’t work for this, because I think sometimes for some people it does. So I’ve heard. Some people are in, like, open relationships and, like, it works for a time, but I feel like in the end, it always doesn’t end up working.

So I think the second you make the decision to do that, there is never going back from that. And I just don’t know that I would ever be willing to. Like, we’ve worked very hard. We worked very hard to, like, be in the space that we’re in now and, like, trusting each other. And there’s, like, such a beautiful trust and bond that I just don’t think that’s something I would be comfortable with, or him, for that matter.

ALEX COOPER: Can you expand a little bit on how you guys built that trust and that bond?

HAILEY BIEBER: He’s really honest. Like, brutally honest, overly honest. I could ask him about any person, any past girl, anything, and he’d be like, oh, yeah, like, this, this, this, and this. He doesn’t have a problem being explicit. And I think that made me trust him a lot because I’m like, there’s nothing I don’t know.

ALEX COOPER: Because you can tell when someone’s being shady. And then if they dance around or…

HAILEY BIEBER: Like, he’s had people, like, DM him. And he’ll be like, oh, like, show me the DMs. Like, do you… And he’ll, like, be like, do you think that, like, this person’s trying to be nice? Or you think this is weird? And I’m like, I think it’s weird. No, it’s like, he knows. He’s just saying, like, do you think, like, this person is, like, genuine? Because it’ll come across like super friendly. And I’m just like, there’s just no reason.

ALEX COOPER: There’s no reason you need to have a relationship.

HAILEY BIEBER: But I’m also someone where, like, I really encourage female friendships because I think that you have to be able to have, like, healthy opposite sex relationships that are friendships, or else you’re, like, closing yourself off all the time. And it’s like…

ALEX COOPER: But you’re not, like, having Instagram models, like, walk around your house?

HAILEY BIEBER: No, of course. I’m just saying, like, of course there’s boundaries with everything, but totally. I’m just saying, like, don’t be afraid to have girlfriends.

ALEX COOPER: Totally. Right. Because it’s like, if you can’t… It’s like, oh, my God.

HAILEY BIEBER: Like, if I could be like, if I couldn’t have friends that were guys, I think it… You control what the limitations are in any relationship, in any friendship, in any work relationship.

ALEX COOPER: Like, you can have self restraint. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Do you have people still in your DMs? No. You’re like, I am just… I am just a married woman.

HAILEY BIEBER: Don’t have people hitting me up like, I’ll slide my DMs. Okay.

Favorite Positions and Turn-Ons

ALEX COOPER: Do you and Justin have the same favorite position?

HAILEY BIEBER: I think so. It’s not like, I’m like, I strictly like this one thing, and he strictly likes another thing.

ALEX COOPER: Can you give us, like, one or two or five?

HAILEY BIEBER: It’s always different.

ALEX COOPER: Okay.

HAILEY BIEBER: Yeah, it’s always something different.

ALEX COOPER: You’re moving it around.

HAILEY BIEBER: Yeah, well, no, I mean, like, one day it might be one thing, one day it might be another.

ALEX COOPER: Oh, I actually didn’t even mean that too. I was like, you’re doing 10 positions in one night.

HAILEY BIEBER: She’s like, he’s flipping you upside down. One second.

ALEX COOPER: You guys have, like… You guys are not set on one position. Like, you guys have a couple go to.

HAILEY BIEBER: No, no, no. I…

ALEX COOPER: With my boyfriend, I have now, like, our go to, like, three. I feel like every couple has those, like, go tos.

HAILEY BIEBER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: Do you want to give us one? And it can’t be missionary.

HAILEY BIEBER: It’s definitely not missionary. I really like doggy style.

ALEX COOPER: You heard it here. That was beautiful. Hailey, what is the sexiest thing Justin does to turn you on?

HAILEY BIEBER: You know, it can be so many different things. It can be, like, a connection thing. It can be a physical thing. For me, kissing is a big deal. Like, that’s a big thing for me. It always has been. Just, like, in my life before I was married. So I would say that is probably the most.

ALEX COOPER: What is the sexiest thing you do that turns him on, or what’s his thing that he always says, like, oh, God, like, Hailey. Like, he, like, gets him going.

HAILEY BIEBER: The connection point is very important to him. Of, like, we could literally just be, like, laying down, talking before, and, like, just having, like, a really fun conversation. And, like, that is really important for him. Yeah. Okay.

The Importance of Voting

ALEX COOPER: I’m going to tell you something that I think is super sexy about you. That turns me on is voting.

HAILEY BIEBER: Yes. Voting is hot. Yes.

ALEX COOPER: Voting is so sexy.

HAILEY BIEBER: Yeah.

ALEX COOPER: So sexy.

HAILEY BIEBER: Justin can’t vote here, but…

ALEX COOPER: Oh, well, he’ll be… He’ll be supportive of us both voting.

HAILEY BIEBER: Okay. He’s very.

ALEX COOPER: And there are so many people that listen to this show, and this airs in September. We have a huge election in November, and I just think it would be great to use the end of this episode and use this platform and our platforms to just emphasize why it’s important to vote and just how much everyone needs to get out there. So why is voting in this year’s election important to you, Hailey?

HAILEY BIEBER: It’s important to me because I think, as everybody knows, we’re in a very scary state in our country. We, as women, are living through a very terrifying reality right now. And I think what we’ve learned, what I took away in a big way from the overturn of Roe v. Wade, was the people that we elect in our states, in our cities, in our counties, they are so important.

And that was something that I was like, s*, like, this is really the reality. We got to get on it. I felt very passionate the last election about, just, please get him out of there. Like, that was like… It felt like legit, like life or death. And it was in so many ways. And I still feel that even more now because you’ve seen there’s still so many terrible, scary things happening within our country.

But I do think there’s a chance for, like, change. And I always think there’s an opportunity for change, and there’s an opportunity to come together and stand up and make a difference.

Navigating Political Differences

ALEX COOPER: You’ve been open about the fact that people in your family have different political views than you. And I think that’s probably the most relatable thing we’ll talk about on the podcast today. And I think so many people can relate to that. How did you navigate that? Because it can get heated.

HAILEY BIEBER: Yeah, it was tricky. Especially very personally, like my dad, my parents. It just got to a point where I found that we couldn’t discuss it, which I think is okay. I believe what I believe. I am a fully formed woman now 25, turning 26. I know what I believe in and what I don’t. I know what I stand for and what I don’t.

And obviously it’s disappointing that the people that raised you could think so differently than you and have such a different perception. That sounds crazy. And you’re just like, how did I come from you? Then I just don’t get this. But it would… It just causes too much disturbance and turmoil and argumentative back and forth that it’s just like, it just can’t be talked about.

ALEX COOPER: You’re not going to change people.

HAILEY BIEBER: And it’s funny because me and my sister have the same exact point of view, which is like, nice, because at least I’m like, at least I got you. Like, at least. And then my mom, like, I’ll try to talk to her about something. She’s like, I’m from Brazil. So I’m like, okay. My mom’s from Brazil, by the way.

ALEX COOPER: Oh, my God. No, I appreciate that. I think it’s always good to just one normalize. People are going to have different views. But I do think regardless, like, just get out and vote. Because it is so important this year, specifically for sure.

HAILEY BIEBER: And it’s not something that I even, you know, the last election, I was super vocal about it. I plan to do that every single time. It’s something that I’m passionate about, for sure. So I appreciate you bringing it up.

Closing Thoughts

ALEX COOPER: Hailey Bieber, thank you so much for coming on Call Her Daddy. I really appreciate you opening up. You don’t do a lot of long form interviews, so I appreciate you trusting and sitting down.

HAILEY BIEBER: Of course. Thank you. I think I had an expectation where I know coming on here with you, you’re going to go there. That’s just the reality of the situation. I wouldn’t have agreed to it if I didn’t know that was the case here. I think there’s a lot that I’ve avoided speaking on for a long time. That it is my life, so I should be able to, like, say what I want about it.

You go there in certain contexts where it’s like, I’ve not gone before. And I think that that’s like a personal challenge to myself that I want. I wanted to, like, push myself to, like, you know, it’s okay to be like, I was uncomfortable multiple times in this conference. My feet are inside of the couch because I was like, how many, like, protective body positions did I get into? I folded like a pretzel.

ALEX COOPER: What happens in New York, Hailey?

New York Nightlife and Early Drinking Days

HAILEY BIEBER: To be honest, I really was always a very level-headed young person. But I definitely had my moment where I went to New York, I started going out to the club. That’s just what happens when… I mean, I guess it’s not just what happens. You move to New York, you’re going to the club.

But I got introduced to nightlife and going out and drinking and, you know, I definitely had my moments of that. That was my time, probably 18 to… I swear by the time I turned 21, I was like, I’m over drinking.

ALEX COOPER: Do you remember the first time you got drunk? Was it a disaster?

HAILEY BIEBER: Yes. The first time I got drunk I was like, oh my God, this is so funny. I was 16. Yeah, I think I was 16. And I used to be a dancer, like I’ve said before. And I think we had a recital.

And one of my friends who I danced with, she had the best house for sleepovers because she had the dope basement. So we would go in the basement, shut the door, the parents would never come down. So we would take all the alcohol and just get drunk in the basement.

ALEX COOPER: The two of you?

HAILEY BIEBER: No, it was multiple girls, like all the girls from our dance school. And the first time I really remember getting drunk, I didn’t throw up, which is surprising. That one time I didn’t throw up. Throwing up multiple times from drinking.

But that one time I remember crawling on the floor because I could not walk, could not stand up straight. And I was just mixing everything because I didn’t know what to drink. So I can never… If you made me smell Ciroc birthday cake vodka right now, Pinnacle birthday cake, Pinnacle, Pinnacle.

ALEX COOPER: And you would just bomb.

HAILEY BIEBER: If you made me smell that right now, I would proceed to fall into a dark hole. Trigger me. That was what we were drinking. And then mixing it with a beer and a Mike’s Hard and all this crazy… The fact that I didn’t throw up is a miracle.

But I remember waking up the next day and I was so hungover. And I called my cousin who was staying with us at the time, who I was really close to, I am really close to. And I was like, “Hey,” she was older than me. I was like, “Can you pick me up from her house? I don’t want my mom to pick me up” because I had moments with my mom where I’d go to a party or something and I would have had a couple sips of a drink and she would get in the car and she would smell my breath.

So I’m like, I can’t have my mom pick me up right now. She’s going to know. And my friends asked me to take all the empties and find somewhere to throw them out because she didn’t want her mom to find them.

So my cousin comes to get me. I take all the bags of empties. We pull over into an Olive Garden parking lot and find a dumpster, throw it in the dumpster. And I’m sitting in the car with her, and I was like, “I need you to take me to church. I have to go to youth group.”

That was where I thought I needed to be, because I felt so… What? I just felt bad. I felt like I did something so wrong. I got wasted, and I’m hungover. I just felt like hell. So I was like, I need God. I need Jesus. I need to go.

And that’s legit how I felt. I was like, I got to go to church. And then I remember I went to youth group, and I was so hungover at the youth group that I was like, “Oh, my God, I got to go home. I can’t be here right now.” That was what my instinct was like, I got to go.

ALEX COOPER: I got to go to youth group after I get hammered for the first time in the basement. It’s a classic.

HAILEY BIEBER: Classic.

Ratchet Nights and Growing Up

ALEX COOPER: I feel like you are the sweetest angel. And then there’s…

HAILEY BIEBER: That’s what’s so funny about me moving into New York City. It would be Friday night, I was in Up and Down, taking shots. And then I was going to church on Sunday, which I think is so fine. I don’t see a problem with that. It’s just the juxtaposition is really funny.

ALEX COOPER: The fact that you just referenced Up and Down in New York. I think I’ve had the most disgusting, ratchet, amazing, awful nights of my life in Up and Down. 100% ruined your life. But also, great night.

HAILEY BIEBER: Many, many a traumatizing moment and great moment in Up and Down.

ALEX COOPER: I had a couple awful nights at Marquee. But Up and Down, specifically, you’re like, God bless.

HAILEY BIEBER: Thank you, Marquee. What was the one on the roof? PhD.

ALEX COOPER: Oh, PhD. Hailey, you’re a normal human going to the ratchet spots. I’m obsessed.

HAILEY BIEBER: I lived. That was where I was. I lived there.

ALEX COOPER: Do you and Justin go out and have fun still? Are you able to do that?

HAILEY BIEBER: We went out last night to Delilah, which is fun.

ALEX COOPER: There you go.

HAILEY BIEBER: Yeah. I think definitely both of us do not turn up the way we used to, just simply because it’s never worth the way you feel.

ALEX COOPER: Absolutely not.

HAILEY BIEBER: I feel like now I get hungover by accident. I wasn’t trying to. It was just that last glass of wine. You shouldn’t have done it. It’s hard for me. When I was 18 to 20, I felt like I was drinking four times my body weight and was fine.

ALEX COOPER: A full water bottle of vodka would be in my system. I’d be like, I’m cruising through the night.

HAILEY BIEBER: I would wake up the next day, give me a bacon, egg, and cheese, and a blue Gatorade, and I’m fine.

ALEX COOPER: Did you rip that for me? Because that is my order. Please and thank you. In New York, you go to a f*ing bodega.

HAILEY BIEBER: Bagel and a blue Gatorade. It had to be blue.

ALEX COOPER: Blue Gatorade, always.

HAILEY BIEBER: The only bacon, egg, and cheese on a croissant. Blue Gatorade.

ALEX COOPER: You’re back. You’re fine.

HAILEY BIEBER: Thriving. Never been better.

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