However, when the passionate love fades away, we are socially wired to say: “Hey! Something is wrong here. This isn’t like how it is in The Notebook! When does Ryan Gosling run after me and kiss me in the rain?” We take the stability and lack of passion as signs that our relationship is no longer positive, that we no longer are in love. And we give up.
This is not to say that passion is not an important part in a relationship. Passion plays an extremely important role. But it is also a common myth to believe that once passion disappears there is no way of getting it back. Because that’s the thing with passionate love. It’s so inconsistent, it comes and goes, in flashes and spurts but companionate love, that’s the love that stays, that’s the love that can handle the fights, the routine boredom, the little annoyances. But the problem is, we leave before we give it a chance.
I don’t know all the answers to love. I mean I’m figuring it out as I go. But I think love is more than just that butterfly feeling. Because unlike that butterfly feeling, real love doesn’t go away. I mean, sure it changes, it gets hard and sometimes things really suck, but you stick with it. Because no matter how frustrated they make you, at the end of the day they are the only person who understands you, who listens to you when they have no idea what advice to give, who gets your pathetic sense of humor, when no one else seems to.
I may be only 17, but I know that this… and this… and this… this is what real love is. Companionate love, that’s the love that counts. Passionate – well, that’s only a part of it. Passion does not guarantee a happily ever after. Happy endings only happen when you work for it and give companionate love a chance. If only Disney taught us this.