Now this is a problem because as research shows– as you would have almost certainly have heard– if you want to achieve goals, it really helps if they’re smart goals. So they’re specific, they’re measurable. They are achievable, they’re realistic, they’re time bound. Research shows that that increases your chances of succeeding in achieving a goal. And it also shows that if you can write down what your goal is, you can articulate it, that increases your chances of succeeding even more. When was the last time you sat down, you wrote down your specific goals for having work-life balance? Lady in the pink who answered the question first ever? Anybody ever do that? It’s hard to define, and that makes it even harder to achieve. The myth of work-life balance.
The second reason why it’s so hard to achieve, no one size fits all. What works for me just might not work for you. You may prefer to work from home five days a week, but perhaps your preference is actually to be in the office those five days, get all the work done so that you’re much freer when you’re at home. And just to complicate things more, if you have children, what works for you when your children are really young won’t necessarily work when they’re older, when they’re teenagers.
So what does this mean? It means we have to create our own personal solution. We can gather together all the different components, the productivity apps and the time management strategies, and the well-being routines. But the important bit is how we bring all of these together. And there’s no universal blueprint for that. You have to find our own way.
So the third reason why balance is difficult, and arguably the biggest, it’s just the nature of the world we live in and the way we work today. All those wonderful technological advances that have brought so much freedom, connected us in ways we could never have dreamed of, even 50 years ago. They’ve all come at a price, haven’t they? We are always on, always connected, constantly working, constantly moving. And of course, the demands of our working environment, competitive, the importance of performing or proving your value, competing against our peers. And add to that what’s going on internally. This is the battle, the second battle. This is the two fronts, what’s going on on the outside with work environment, but also internally, our inability to restrict, control how much we use technology. We’ve become slaves to it.
And add to that, even our feelings of I’m an impostor, impostor syndrome, perhaps. Or just your innate need to achieve, to progress, your innate ambition. All of this conspires to make it very hard to walk out of the office, switch off completely, and enjoy the bits of your life that don’t involve work.
I want to tell you three stories that underline my message about how you can win this battle for balance, a battle which, as I’ve just explained, is a difficult one. It’s a battle against the odds. It’s the 28th of August, 1963 Martin Luther King, leader of the Civil Rights Movement in the 1950s and 1960s in America, he’s standing on the new Lincoln Memorial.
There are 250,000 civil rights supporters there in the crowds. And he delivers this iconic speech: I have a dream. For those of you who don’t know or recall what that dream was, it was a dream for equality. It was a dream for a day when the children of black slaves and the children of black slave owners would be able to go to school together, be treated equally. It’s hard to imagine a more challenging battle than the one they faced at that time.
This was the period of Jim Crow, of state-sponsored discrimination and aggression. It was the time of lynchings, of the Ku Klux Klan. It was the time when segregation in hospitals, on transport, in schools was completely normal. And yet, 1964, the Civil Rights Act was passed. In 1965, the Voting Rights Act was passed. And although discrimination continues today, the battle for equality goes on, particularly in America.
There is no doubt that those two bits of legislation, which made it illegal for people to be treated differently because of the color of their skin, they were iconic victories, defining moments, and an incredibly important battle. How did they do it? How did they win? Four things stand out for me.
First of all, they had a vision. That’s what’s so powerful about this speech, the “I Have a Dream“ speech. It was rousing, it was motivating. It didn’t focus on how difficult and impossible that vision was or that dream was. It focused on what that dream would look like. And I urge you to go back and watch the footage of that speech, and I challenge you not to be completely inspired by it. So the vision was there.
The second thing that stands out for me is they were prepared. So they had a strategy of how they would do this. And this involved non-violent protests in the form of marches, sit-ins on public transport. Non-violent protest was only ever going to be met with violence. And that’s the key to their strategy, was actually saying not just this is what we want, this is how we plan to get it, but anticipating what the challenges would be, what obstacles they would face. And those obstacles were really very real– violence, being thrown in jail.
Martin Luther King was arrested 29 times. They were ready for that. In fact, they actually trained in how to cope with violent aggression and how to stay peaceful. In other words, they were prepared and they practiced the skills that they would need to further their cause. And they kept on. Every time they were arrested and then released, they would continue their fight.
The second story I want to share with you is a story from childhood, the story of David and Goliath. Is everyone familiar with that story? Hands up if you’re not familiar with the story of David and Goliath. Great, so you all remember the story of David and Goliath. It’s from the Book of Samuel. And it’s the story about this fierce giant, Goliath, and how David, a small, innocent shepherd boy with a single slingshot was able to topple, to kill this terrifying warrior. And so win the battle for his people against the Philistines.