Life & Style

Caroline Myss: Choices That Can Change Your Life at TEDxFindhornSalon (Transcript)

Your mind says, well, I think your heart says I feel. And you know what the two of them talk to each other, because if they do that you actually have to do something. Choice terrifies people. So most people will do anything to postpone making choices. So I’m going to help you out. We’re going to go through a list of choices that matter — that matter, that make a difference.

The first choice is the decision to actually live an Integris life. And when I say make a choice to do that, this kind of thing I mean. I don’t mean well, I live a good life, no, no no. I’m talking full scale, I’m going to walk the way I talk. I’m actually going to do it. I’m in a little life of integrity. I’m going to — never mind this speak my truth, I’m actually going to tell the truth.

I’m going to live with integrity. I’m going to make my choices according to what I say I believe I’m going to live. I will not — and what this means is that I’m not going to be trade myself. I’m not going to compromise myself. I’m not going to put myself in a position or put myself in any circumstance or if I’m in a circumstance I am getting out, or I won’t force another person, I won’t force another person. To be in a circumstance in which I know that I am uncomfortable in order to please me. I won’t hold another person captive because that has no integrity. I will not do that.

Now let me tell you something. Liars don’t heal. Liars don’t heal, so you can eat all the wheat grass you want and you could do all this stuff with seeds and vegetables. But an honest person who eats cat food will go further than you. Dishonest people, people who lie, people who have moral crises and do not get it, people who blame others for things that they do and they know it. People who make choices and they know another person is going to pay for the consequence of their choice and they are conscious of it. They know for a fact that they are saying something that is not true and they know another person is going to be hurt by that. People who deliberately say things to hurt somebody. Believe you me, your body knows you did that. Your mind knows you did that; your heart and soul knows you did that. So you know you did that.

So don’t tell yourself under any circumstances that the problem with your depression comes from your childhood. Don’t go there knock it off, and make the decision — the decision to live an Integris life. Means get this act together. So it’s not as simple as saying I’m a good person; knock it off. This is major league.

Second, you’re taking notes? You make a decision. I will not pass my suffering on but my wisdom. I make the decision not to pass on my suffering but my wisdom. So that from the years of your life, you make the decision, the gifts that I have to pass on – I either pass on the wisdom I’ve learned. Or I will pass on at this stage the suffering. Oh my poor life — or go harvest the wisdom. What do you want to pass on? The sludge or the wisdom. That’s up to you. Everybody has a choice and everybody can pass on but again it’s the choice. It’s the choice, we all have that and believe me I am not saying we don’t have grief, we don’t have pain.

But if we look at life there are certain things that all spiritual — the great religious traditions, the great spiritual holy traditions have in common. And one of the lessons of these traditions — one of the great learnings is that life will never be that wonderful rich thing that we wanted to do, which is what we call fair. It will never be that. It will never be, well that’s why this happened.

I had someone tell me one time, well if I only knew, if I only knew why this happened to me and I said then what difference would that make. What if God sent an angel and the angel said what do you want? I mean you’ve been banging around down here; what do you want? I want to know why this happened and this happened and this happened. What if the angel said because it did. Now what?

Now here’s the thing. Some of the grief and injuries that have happened to people are so horrible, it’s unbelievable. And the truth is nothing can make that go away; nothing can make that better and the model of healing that we have to have is a model that says healing is not about ever forgetting those things; it’s not about forgetting. It’s about looking at what has happened to us and saying this will never defeat me. It will never defeat me but I will not live in this. I have to somehow turn this into my source of wisdom but I will not live in wealth. I will not. And that becomes this choice. I have to choose wisdom or wealth but I can’t make it go away and if you can’t make it go away, then that is the choice wisdom or wealth.

The third, the choice to take risks. Take risks in your life. Don’t wait for proof. Take risks. And how does this factor into your house? Because what happens is people who – what happens when people become ill and they feel their life force diminishing. They always hit regrets, you will always hit the regret stage. You will always hit the ‘oh I should have done this, I should have done that, I should have’ — you will always hit that place as you begin to feel yourself weakening. Even if you’re going to go right back up. You’ll hit the regret stage in which you visit the life you wish you had lived.

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By Pangambam S

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