But it’s not like Cubans are the only people in the world that understand how to use seduction, right? You can experience it in other countries in the world: in Israel, in Brazil and the Dominicans and many other countries. And yet in Cuba I found a combination of things, a very unique combination of things, that I haven’t found it anywhere else in the world, and I’ll speak about some of them today.
And you’ll probably agree with me when I’ll say that the chances of finding this kind of seduction out in the open in North America is pretty close to slim, right? I truly believe that we can learn a valuable life lesson from Cubans about life and seduction.
And having said that, if we were to try and take seduction and break it into some kind of a formula, what would that look like?
One: Desire — start taking notes. Desire means knowing what you want and then having the willingness to go after it. In Cuba, rumba is the game of seduction between the man and the woman. The woman is the flirty hen and the guy is the seductive rooster. The woman uses her body to seduce the men to say, “Want it? Come and get it.”
The guy on the other hand will use his body to demonstrate his masculinity. He’ll try to decoy her. Boom! Launching an attack. He’s trying to pecker her and get her pregnant. She’ll notice the attack, she’ll block it, she’ll mock him for not succeeding, and she’ll go, “Didn’t make it. Try again.”
Cubans interact on the streets everyday, as if they’re playing the game of rumba. They keep a tension, a sexy tension, always alive. It’s like, you could almost have it, but not. But if you only tried, then maybe.
Keeping the “maybe” alive is the skill of presenting potential possibilities and then fuelling them with desire. It’s about learning where the emotional buttons are, and then triggering them. When there is real desire, even if it’s hidden, it’s possible to lure it out. But you really got to get what the other person is missing, and then give it to them. And when it’s done right, it’s virtually impossible to say “no” to.
Number two: Confidence.
Strong self-confidence is essential for seduction. Without it you can’t go after what you want. Our self-image is formed at a very young age and is deeply affected by our environment. Cubans praise their kids from a very young age to feel confident and stunning in their own bodies, because they recognize this is a very valuable life skill. You’ll see them at the pool, at the hotel, the music is like blasting, they’re grinding to the music, and the little ones are grinding right beside them, and they’ll turn to them and say, “Que lindo!” or “Que linda eres!” — “You’re so beautiful!”
Add to this that in Cuba there is no advertising, because it’s a communist country, so there’s nothing that distorts the body image. Cubans, not like us, are not affected by the media to try and think that they need a perfect body. Instead their self-image is formed out of how stunning the environment makes them feel, and how much love they get at home.
As a result of all of this, Cubans grow up feeling intense pride and self-confidence, no matter what body type or shape they might have. And it’s this kind of self-confidence that leads later on to how you present yourself in all areas of your life and how you succeed.
Body language. When you walk on the streets of Havana, guys and girls check each other out, in the open, all the time. They’re not trying to hide it. And guys call after women with “Linda!”, “Preciosa!” And women respond with how they hold their bodies, and how they accentuate their curves when they walk, because they know they’re being noticed and admired, and they like it.
It makes it really easy to seduce and be seduced, because you know what the other person is feeling.
Seduction also shows up in the tone of your voice, the kind of look you give, what you say and how you say it, and at times, even adding a little touch.
Body language is very important for seduction because it communicates to the other person what you want.
Number four: Arousal.
To effectively seduce someone there has to be an activation of the arousal, waking up in them the desire to give you what you want and luring it out. But first, you have to connect and interact with the other person, if not, then how will you get to their heart? And for seduction to really work, you have to give it your undivided attention, in a moment.