Keeping the “maybe” alive is the skill of presenting potential possibilities and then fuelling them with desire. It’s about learning where the emotional buttons are, and then triggering them. When there is real desire, even if it’s hidden, it’s possible to lure it out. But you really got to get what the other person is missing, and then give it to them. And when it’s done right, it’s virtually impossible to say “no” to.
Number two: Confidence.
Strong self-confidence is essential for seduction. Without it you can’t go after what you want. Our self-image is formed at a very young age and is deeply affected by our environment. Cubans praise their kids from a very young age to feel confident and stunning in their own bodies, because they recognize this is a very valuable life skill. You’ll see them at the pool, at the hotel, the music is like blasting, they’re grinding to the music, and the little ones are grinding right beside them, and they’ll turn to them and say, “Que lindo!” or “Que linda eres!” — “You’re so beautiful!”
Add to this that in Cuba there is no advertising, because it’s a communist country, so there’s nothing that distorts the body image. Cubans, not like us, are not affected by the media to try and think that they need a perfect body. Instead their self-image is formed out of how stunning the environment makes them feel, and how much love they get at home.
As a result of all of this, Cubans grow up feeling intense pride and self-confidence, no matter what body type or shape they might have. And it’s this kind of self-confidence that leads later on to how you present yourself in all areas of your life and how you succeed.
Body language. When you walk on the streets of Havana, guys and girls check each other out, in the open, all the time. They’re not trying to hide it. And guys call after women with “Linda!”, “Preciosa!” And women respond with how they hold their bodies, and how they accentuate their curves when they walk, because they know they’re being noticed and admired, and they like it.
It makes it really easy to seduce and be seduced, because you know what the other person is feeling.
Seduction also shows up in the tone of your voice, the kind of look you give, what you say and how you say it, and at times, even adding a little touch.
Body language is very important for seduction because it communicates to the other person what you want.
Number four: Arousal.
To effectively seduce someone there has to be an activation of the arousal, waking up in them the desire to give you what you want and luring it out. But first, you have to connect and interact with the other person, if not, then how will you get to their heart? And for seduction to really work, you have to give it your undivided attention, in a moment.
One of the most charming things that I’ve noticed about Cuban men, is how they to go after what they want completely fearless of the consequences of getting hurt or getting rejected. They will seduce a woman over and over, making her feel desired and special, even after she said “no” a couple of times, slowly sneaking into her heart and waking up that desire. In a “no” there was a “maybe” turns into a “yes”. That’s damn sexy.
This fearlessness of failure is a profoundly powerful capability that I’ve noticed in some of the most seductive people that I’ve ever met.
But they can do this because they’ve developed their intuitions so much, that they can easily distinguish between a “no” that means a “no”, and a “no” that means “maybe”, because the last thing you want to do is not accept a “no” that means a “no”.
So what I really want you to get is that everyone has the power to seduce in them. The trick is to learn how to use it and when.
Seduction is a skill no matter how you look at it. You can call it: wooing, persuading, winning someone over, charming, it doesn’t really matter. But what it is, is really about using all of the elements that I talked about here in the talk, which is one: desire, two: confidence, three: body language, four: arousal, to build the connection that gets you what you want.
It’s also important to remember that seduction is not a science, but an art, and that’s the beauty of it, it comes from the heart. And like any art, it can definitely be taught. But to fully gain self-expression in it, you have to take the time to master it, and make it your own.
My hope is that you will see seduction as a valuable life skill, as I’ve learned to. Because so many people lose that childlike attitude as they grow into adulthood, and something’s missing. And wouldn’t the world be a better place if we didn’t.
I really believe that seduction leads to self-confidence, and self-confidence leads to success in all areas of your life.
Master seduction and you can have anything that you want in life. Anything.
I did get a TED Talk, didn’t I?