Home » Debby Herbenick on Making Sex Normal at TEDxBloomington Transcript

Debby Herbenick on Making Sex Normal at TEDxBloomington Transcript

You can also get your doctors and nurses to change the waiting room. They often say that they’re asked sex questions that they can’t answer, or don’t have the time to answer, I say add some good quality sex pics to the waiting room. Change the posters in the bathroom away from Botox and Daintree mints to a Grab Your Gonads Testicle Self Exam poster, or a poster celebrating the diversity of women’s genitals.

Make space for sex. Here I started the Bloomington Sex Salon that brings sex researchers into the community, into bars and cafes, a local restaurant sometimes gets cheeky with their menu items, including the French Tickler, that’s from farm.

Support the sex arts. From left to right is my Etsy bot uterus doll, vulva lapel pins from a local handmade market, a clay vulva man that a student named and a sperm shaped salt shaker that I picked up in Argentina. Put it on the Thanksgiving table and finally, embrace real sex and bodies. Check out Cindy Gallop’s make love, not porn website and TED talk, watch shows like Lena Dunham’s, Girls, and check out makesexnormal.tumblr.com, the new site launched this week that encourages people to send in photos showing what they do to make sex normal.

Now recently our research team asked people what they liked about sex. A man said, “It’s a very pleasant habit we started 40 years ago and makes the marriage better”.

A woman said, “Feeling completely loved like I was the only person in the world he wanted to be with”.

Another woman said, “Before my husband passed, he just made me feel good. I miss the way he would make me feel”.

And a man said, “makes you feel like your life is worth a little bit”.

So yeah, sex — it’s ups and downs, ebbs and flows and having it and not having it sometimes, all of that is part of the normal human experience of sexuality. It is a normal part of life. I just think we have to go out and make it normal.

ALSO READ:   Stereotypes: Funny Because They Are True by Katerina Vrana (Full Transcript)

Now I have a professional stake in this for sure because I believe that if we make it normal, if we help people to become more comfortable, that people will more easily report sexual assaults and rapes, they’ll more easily talk about STIs and STI testing. They’ll more easily talk about love and intimacy and connection with their partners.

But I also have a personal stake in this, and this is that like many of you I know the sadness and pain and frustration of relationship problems when two people can’t talk about sex. I also know the joys and the intimacy and pleasure that comes with relationships when two people can talk about sex.

The other personal stake for me is that when I think of 13 year old girls riding bikes rather than thinking of them secretly buying tampons, crossing busy streets, disobeying their parents, I wish for them a world in which they’re riding their bikes to a friend’s house feeling the freedom that comes with being young and out on your own, because for them they will be living in a world where sex and bodies in periods and puberty are totally normal because all of you and I made it normal.

Thank you.

 

Sharing is Kindness in Action!

Pages: First | ← Previous | 1 | 2 |3 | Last | Single Page View