Home » Doers, Dreamers, and the Differences between Them: Joshua York (Transcript)

Doers, Dreamers, and the Differences between Them: Joshua York (Transcript)

Now it’s estimated that the average adult American makes about 35,000 decisions each and every day. That’s three, five, zero, zero, zero. Now those range from hitting snooze on your alarm clock in the morning to how you’re going to style your hair for your TED talk.

And to bigger things, I cut my own hair by the way, I know my mom doesn’t like it but I styled it you know. To bigger things like where to place the care, the health care of a loved one, or how to invest your money or your time.

And a doer embraces these different decisions because there’s no way that you can be correct on all 35,000 each and every day. But a doer recognizes that and they’re not afraid to take a little bit of a risk and make those big decisions. In fact, it excites them.

Now simple exercise that you can try to be more comfortable with decision making and more confident in your decisions, next time you’re at a restaurant and the waiter hands you a big old menu with 50 different dishes on there. Instead of reading through all 50 of them and potentially getting stressed out, what am I going to choose? What am I going to do? I want you to look at a maximum of three different options and select one as quick as you can, close your menu and that’s it.

Some people are looking at me like I’m crazy. I’ve done this a couple times and it’s a really great activity because it forces you to stick with the decision that you made and be confident in it.

And the good thing is that it’s a very low risk. The worst that happens is that you don’t love your dish or if even worse you might have to eat again when you get home later. But it’s a very low risk thing and it can really train yourself to be confident in your decisions.

And so when it comes time to make those big decisions like where to invest your money or what to do with something important in your life, you’re that much more confident in yourself because those kinds of things build on each other. You’re more confident and you easily take that risk, make that decision and not look back.

A second trait that I believe all doers possess is that doers are not afraid to ask. The fastest way to get to the result that you’re hoping to is to make it known, be upfront with someone and just ask them.

But so many people are afraid to do that. Whether it’s the risk of failure or maybe they’re afraid to talk to strangers.

So if our lovely emcee, Sam over there. If I had a pack of gum and he wanted a piece of gum, I wouldn’t just happen to know that he was in the mood to get a minty fresh gum unless he asked me for it.

Now that’s kind of a silly example but it can really transpire in all different walks of life.

Another important thing about asking is that the world can really open up for you. My sister is dating a guy from Canada. He’s from a small mountain town in British Columbia and he’s one of the most soft-spoken gentle personalities and he’s such a great guy. He’s really awesome. I’m really happy for them.

But out of college he found a job working at Quicken Loans in Detroit. He was selling mortgages to people over the phone. Now anybody that knows anything about a Quicken Loans job, a lot of the entry-level jobs are calling hundreds of hundreds of people a day. And think about when you get a phone call from someone trying to sell you mortgage. It’s either hang up or yell at them, take me off your call list, whatever it may be.

The person on the other end of that line is getting rejected hundreds of times a day. And he would come home after 13, 14 hour shifts and say, yeah I got 15 people to say yes to me today so that’s one more than yesterday but still 200 rejections.

Now I would hate that. He didn’t really like it either but what he did I really, really admire. Outside of his job he challenged himself to be rejected one time each day in face to face. And his thought was that if he got rejected in person it would be a whole lot easier to then get rejected the next day over the phone a bunch of times.

So he would do things like, when we would be at Kroger, we’d be going to checkout and he would come up to the cashier with his bag of avocados and he’d set him down and he would say, these cost a dollar fifty but how about you give them for me for 50 cents?

And the Kroger cashier would be all confused and say can’t do that sorry. And as simple as that maybe, those type of things over and over they make you more comfortable with getting told no because it’s really not the end of the world. It might sting for a second but you’ll get over it.

But the even cooler thing about this exercise that he did was the amount of times that he actually got told yes. He’s gotten to do some incredible things that most people would never even think about just by asking. He got to ride around in a limo. He got to serve up a cocktail at a bar and take it to the person and deliver it like he was the waiter. He got to tour the meat smoker in the backroom of an esteemed Detroit restaurant.

I just really like this exercise for two reasons. First as mentioned, it builds up your immunity to being told no into failing. There’s nothing wrong with that.

And second is it’s a win-win because either you get rejected, which is what your goal is hypothetically or you get to do something really cool.

The last thing about not being afraid to ask is that when we want to start a business or an organization, whatever it may be, we’re never going to have all the resources that we need. So the only way to get from A to B is to ask others for help or support whatever that may be. And a lot of people don’t use their ask.

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