Here is the full transcript of life coach Dr. D. Ivan Young’s TEDx Talk: Emotional Intelligence: Using the Laws of Attraction @ TEDxLSCTomball conference. This event occurred on October 30, 2015.
Dr. D Ivan Young – Relationship & Emotional Intelligence Expert
It’s really good to be here, and I want to first acknowledge these students, because this is not easy when you’re a student. It’s not even easy when you’re a professional. So can we give these guys a hand? Thank you.
I’m here to talk to you about two things that you would think just do not go together. Those two things are emotional intelligence and the laws of attraction.
I was talking to Dr. Thomas the other day when I came for the rehearsal and he said, “Well, Doc, emotional intelligence — isn’t that being aware and having clarity about your feelings and the feelings of other people when you’re in the midst of a set of circumstances or a situation with them?
And I said yeah, that is definitely a definition for that and a very accurate definition for that. But the truth about emotional intelligence goes far beyond having just clarity about people. It’s clarity about situations, circumstances — why are you there?
When you stop and think about, I’m in this situation, I’m in the midst of something. Now what is that something and more than likely that something is a set of circumstances or a dilemma you may have encountered that you attracted into your life. And that’s where the laws of attraction come to meet emotional intelligence.
Like attracts like. These things that you expect come to you.
What we believe is that if we say some affirmations, if we take a moment and visualize something, do a vision board or something of that nature, that’s what’s going to happen but not true.
As a matter of fact, if I say right now, do not think of a chimpanzee wearing a red tie and a blue and white pinstripe suit whatever you do, do not picture this chimpanzee wearing this red bow tie and this blue pinstripe suit, what do you keep thinking of?
The very thing that I told you don’t think about, because that is where you are putting your E – Motion – that energy plus motion and the more emotion you pour into anything, the more of that thing you receive.
In other words, you can say one thing and do another. And as we well know many of us typically say all the right things but do we do them? If you don’t believe me go to somebody’s house and look at all the dusty workout equipment; look at all the diets that they tried; go to a gym and look at the people that signed up that are no longer coming, because what we have done is we’ve taken the laws of attraction and mis-applied them.
We don’t take serious the things that we feel we deserve enough in order for them to manifest into our lives.
And how do you stop that?
Real simple. Monitor what you feel. What you constantly think about, that is exactly what you get. If you keep thinking, I’m — my luck is never — everybody gets it but me. I’ll never have that. I’ll never live in that house. You know, that’s for them. Whoever them are those people are… when you constantly think about — how much bills are, what do you end up with? More pink slips, more bills.
When you constantly think about, I don’t want to gain any more weight, or I don’t – I need to lose — you know, lose some of these bad habits that I have. I want to stop smoking. I’m not going to smoke.
What do you do the minute the pressure hits? You go get a cigarette and you smoke again. You get frustrated and you eat again. And as you continue to do these things, your thoughts and your feelings equal the manifestations that you get in your life.
Here’s the million-dollar solution to that.
First monitor what you think about. Your mind and — you know there’s a lot of theories around this concept. But I’m going to tell you this. Everything that is seen comes from that which was not seen. That chair you’re sitting in; the clothes you have on right now was somebody’s idea at one time.
Somebody figured out a long time ago guys should wear a tie. You know, we figured somehow that, you know, going on horses wasn’t enough. Maybe if I can build this contraption, I could fly like a bird.
Everything that we do started out in the unseen and someone called those things that are not as though they are and brought them into manifestation.
But here’s the catch for you and the solution. You must understand that conscious thinking is not your solution. Conscious thinking is typically reacting to some set of circumstances. It’s typically paying attention to that which is before you.
That subconscious thinking you will associate that with stuff like, have you ever driven home from work and you don’t even remember driving home, because something was just on your mind. Or you automatically get in the car and you just check for something without even paying attention to what you’re doing.
Your subconscious mind is the part of you that drives the outcomes in your life. As you learn to master being sensitive to circumstances, paying particular attention to the nuansical things, as we call it the little things.
If you stop worrying about what happened in the past and feeling guilty, or I have being anxious about what may or may not happen in the future and operate in right now you will train your subconscious mind to begin manifesting the things that you truly desire.
And a short way of putting this is everything in your life happens for a reason. Your responsibility is to look at these things in your life and ask this question: why now? Why is this person getting on my last nerve?
Well, they’re probably getting on your nerves, because there’s some part of your character that is being reflected back to you through them that you need to work on. We get frustrated and angered and almost just discombobulated by that which we do not understand.
You have to be willing to take the time in every moment, every situation in your life and examine it for its meaning. You have to examine it for its purpose. You have to examine it to see what is this supposed to teach me right now.
In my practice, something that I constantly tell people that I’m either speaking to in lectures like this or even in my office is to stop being so reactive and become proactive.
Don’t wait to talk. Truly listen. Don’t just see things. Look at them. You know, when you hear something you’re perceiving it at the expense of all the white noise or the debris that surrounds it.
When you look at something, you are deliberately ignoring things that otherwise could distract you. It takes effort to be successful but the greatest effort is mastering how do you use your mind.
As we evolved — and I’m not getting into some religious stuff, so there will be no offering, you don’t have to panic — but we came from somewhere. We received of a greater source and conceived when our parents decided to confirm that.
But my belief is before we get here, we made a decision while we were coming. And we came to experience the contrast and the challenge that everyday life presents to us.
See, your Creator which you are a co-participant in that creation is smarter than you think. As a matter of fact, you can figure out exactly what everything means in your life by asking one question, one word: why.
And it’s okay. You know even in dating, ladies, it’s good to look at a guy and say, well why are you here? What is it that you are supposed to teach me, and not thinking, he will probably tell you the truth.
The same thing is true about the things that you’re trying to court in your day-to-day life, in your career. Ask yourself why am I doing this? What is motivating me to do this? Why do I feel the way that I feel about what I’m doing? And you know you do not have to wait for an answer.
You can get an answer if you shut everything down, get in a quiet space, and simply meditate. And I don’t mean lotus position going ommm.
What I do mean is taking the time to be quiet, to be still, to allow your circumstances, to speak to you in such a way that it resonates at the core.
You remember, I said E – Motion. It’s kind of like that Geiger counter when you’re looking around for a metal object and the further away you get the farther away the chirps get. But the closer you get, the closer those chirps get.
And the way that you can parallel that to your spirit speaking to you is the better you feel about it the more you should do it. And if it doesn’t make sense to anyone but you, all the better.
Accept the facts but never ever confuse the facts with the truth. Seek the greater truth. You know, anything that anyone has ever done that has required more, caused that individual to confront themselves. They confronted their fears. They confronted other people. They confronted culture and had to make a decision that you know what you said I can’t, the system says I can’t, but something inside me says what, I can.
And when you seek the greater truth, you get into direct alignment for that very moment, that very reason, that purpose that causes your emotional intelligence and the laws of attraction to become one.
As they become one, you will find this sense of passion resonating, causing, and stirring up something inside of you. As that passion is stirred up, your purpose then just comes forth.
You know there’s this thing, if you ever watch a football game, you don’t see the guy sit there and wait on the ball to come. And you don’t see the quarterback through it after the guys downfield, right when he snaps the ball and that receiver takes off, that ball is in there.
Sometimes you have to run on faith. You have to run not seeing the outcome but just knowing that there will be the result that you desire.
And as you feel, as you believe you will receive, because after all, that which you seek, ladies and gentlemen, that which you desire, that which you long for is equally seeking you.
