Now, pop culture part 2 for the boys is the porn industry. When I talk about porn, I don’t mean Playboy, Penthouse, or Hustler. Let’s go back to Details. Basically, they said in this article, “There is an entire generation of young people who think sex ends with the money shot to the face.” Now for the uninitiated out there, a money shot is ejaculation on the face. To tell you what goes on in the world, because I teach young people, I lecture across the country in colleges all over, a student told me that she was talking to a boyfriend who wanted to actually date – which in the hook-up sites culture, believe me, is a big thing – and he said to her he had a deal breaker, and the deal breaker was that she had to let him come on her face. She said, “No, I’m not letting you do that.”
And I was telling a reporter in England, who was in her 40s, she was doing a documentary, and she said to me, “I don’t believe you. You’re exaggerating.” And a 23-year-old assistant turned to her and said, “Do you know how many men have come on my face without asking?”
So get rid of the notion of Playboy, Penthouse, or even Hustler; those were the good old days of pornography. I never thought I would stand here and tell you, look back and say, “These seemed evil quaint.” What changed everything was the Internet. The Internet made pornography affordable, it made it accessible, and it made it anonymous. The three A’s that drive demand.
Do you know that porn sites get more visitors each month than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined? Just get your head around that and that we know from studies that nearly 90% of the top-watched rented scenes have at least physical or verbal abuse against the woman.
So what I’m going to do now is I am going to follow the breadcrumbs of a 12-year-old. The first age of using pornography is 12. And I’m just going to follow him with no credit card, put “porn” into Google, and I’m going to tell you what he is going to see. The first thing he is going to see, the major act on virtually all websites is gagging. This is where the man puts the penis so far down her throat that she gags almost to the point of vomiting. They put a lot of mascara on her face, so that she’s actually tearing and you can see the rivulets of mascara running down. As she is choking, he grabs her head, and he pulls it towards him, and he says, “Look at me!” And she is choking! This is a kind of a sexual psychopath.
And when you think that porn is the major form of sex-ed, think what is going to happen to the next generation of boys, most of whom are brought up on hardcore, mainstream Internet porn. Now the average 12-year-old, when he goes onto porn, when he puts “porn” into Google, what do you think he thinks he’s going to see? Breasts? People having sex? Do you think he’s thinking of gagging? Of course, he’s not. So what keeps him on that?
I started to read the text that went with the images, so let’s look at this. Do you know what we say to things like romance and foreplay? We say, “Fuck off!” We take gorgeous young bitches, and do what every man would really like to do – we make them gag, etc., etc. This is from a very well-known website called Gag Me Then Fuck Me.
Now, think about this: he is 12 years old, he is going into manhood, he is aroused, that is telling him, “You want to be a male? This is your entrée into masculinity. This is the price you pay to be masculine.” In that boy’s stomach is a toxic stew because he’s aroused, but he is also ashamed, and he is also scared, and he is also angry, and he feels enormous shame that he is aroused, and nobody has said to him, “This is not who you are.” Because the pornographers say to him, “This is who you are. This is what you want. Because we take gorgeous young bitches, and we do what every man would really like to do.” But you know what? That’s not true. And I know that’s not true, and I know that is true because feminists are man’s best friends, because we believe more in men than the pornographers do.
And you know how I know that the pornographers don’t tell the truth about men? I know that as a feminist, I know that as a scholar, and above all, I know that as a mother of a son. My son is worth better than this. If my son is, then I believe your son is too.
The next really constant scene you’re going to see is really violent, pounding anal sex. Let me read you the kind of promotional copy from the movie “Anally ripped whores”. “We at Pure Filth know exactly what you want: chicks being ass fucked till their sphincters are pink, puffy, and totally blown out. Adult diapers just might be in store for these whores when their work is done.” This is the promotional copy. You don’t need a PhD in media studies to understand the violence, and I want to make this clear: this is mainstream porn, this is what the 12-year-old boy gets to within 15 seconds, this is not the worst, I don’t go near the worst.