So when I moved to New York, it’s not he could show me around, show me all the cool spots, you know, he was kind of like a … “there’s a train and you get a better car and you go.” And that’s okay, we’ve got the rapid, I can do this. It’s all right.
I was immediately wrong for that, for assuming that it was going to be the same. It is not the same. But I embraced it. I embraced the fear, the danger. I enjoyed the fact that I was going in uncharted territory.
It was like a sense of wonder for me. And I can’t say I was one of those people that were into like having thrills, and, you know, getting some type of stimulation from that. But it was nothing like saying like, “Yo, I’m gonna go out and pursue something, and I know I’m going to do it, and nobody’s going to tell me I can’t, and anybody that doesn’t believe it, I am going to prove it to them sooner or later. And that’s just what it is.
Because at one point, I didn’t feel like I was smart enough to pass that test. Or I didn’t feel like I was smart enough to go to this college. But with music, it was like nobody’s gonna take that from me. You know, what I’m saying because there were things that I was dealing with as a youth at this school that I didn’t talk to people about, that probably kept me from putting my best foot forward with my academics, you know?
And the music is a platform for me to express myself and also to realize that I’m not that crazy, that there’re other kids out there that might be depressed or lonely, dealing with suicide, things like these.
And it was one of those things that, you know, I just feel really blessed to just have my mom who’s been my supporter forever, who supplied that that trip financially, first couple of months or whatsoever. to have the support of my hometown, I can come back in this room and feel the love and the energy, you guys got me really nervous, my palms are sweaty.
But it’s really just the clock cycle, 11 minutes 24 seconds, 23 seconds, 22 seconds. It’s like what’s gonna happen when the clock’s over with? It’s like somebody going to just pull me off stage. Geez…
But really, the first thing I did when I went to New York, and most people think it was kind of like this amazing adventure, it wasn’t. It was pretty much finding a job. And for the first couple of years, I was working everywhere, whether it was like at this clothing store here, or Abercrombie & Fitch, or American Apparel, or Dean & Deluca. I always had a job. I was a hustler.
And you know, I still apply the same work ethic with music. You know, I mean like, I’m almost in a way where I don’t know how to relax, because my whole life has been just a grind. You know what I mean?
And I think that when people ask me “How did you do it,” you know, I was just kind of like “I don’t know, I was just … focused? Because it’s hard to put it into words because I can’t say that it is something that — a switch I just flipped when I turned 20. Like I got always the gut, you know, I was always outspoken, creative. I used to draw when I was a kid, before all the musical stuff came along. I was an artist.
I used to draw all my stuff, I used to draw my tattoos, and that’s it. It was about being a cartoonist until I was about 15, and then I wanted to be a rapper. And then it was all uphill from there.
But you know, if I could really just give people one piece of advice, you know, and just pass this along, and one thing I want you to take from this, is that like, we are all the commanders of our own destiny. You know what I mean?
It’s like you see these movies where we say, that one movie would “Lucy,” where she has 100% of her brain power, and she could do anything she wants. You know, we realize that the average human doesn’t use, what two, three percent. You know what I mean. Some weird, small percentage like that.
I really just told myself just like, “Hey, man, I’m going to do this,” and I applied the information I needed to execute that and in places and at times of my life where I didn’t have the answers, I made sure to get the information or surround myself with people who had the information.
You can’t hang out with people that ain’t doing nothing. How you going to get money hanging out with people that got no money? How are you gonna be inspired by people who aren’t at least trying to go the same way, at least, whether it’s music or schooling, like I would be inspired by all my friends, because I went to college, I went to university to the awful one year for film. It sucked, I hated it, you know. It wasn’t for me.
But my film classes were amazing, and now that I’m doing acting, producing shows, writing shows. I wish I wrote that whole couple, three more years out. Because I would have information that I needed, and I wouldn’t have to go through so many hoops, to be able to direct or create my own film or TV show. Uhmm…. I don’t know what to say… Let me get back on track.