However, as soon as I turned back around, I knew I was on a mission on this very specific quest. You know? It was bigger than just wanting to be a musician, or do movies. It was about finally showing the world what Scott could do.
I wasn’t the best student, I want to be honest with you. Kendra knows this. If Kendra was in my class, if she was sitting next to me, I probably would have tried to cheat off of her. But that’s not the point.
The point is, it’s like … when I think about it, you know, I wish I applied myself as much as I applied all the energy into music as I did. As in music I wish — you know as in music, I wish I could apply that same energy into my academics when I was in school.
So a lot of people look at me now, and they go “Oh, man, this must dope to be a rapper.” And it is dope, it’s awesome. Top notch.
But, you know, I can’t say that I don’t want to sometimes go back and relearn some things. I can’t say I don’t feel out of certain conversations that my friends have. You know, and these are things that I think about, you know, because being in school is all about being cool and wearing the fresh … I was going to curse, fresh clothing, being popular.
And when you go out into the real world, you realize that moment is just a little “beep” of your life. High school, you know? Now I remember Kendra AG. But everything else, I don’t remember. Now, I’m just joking.
But I’m just saying, at that moment in life, you feel like as all matters. High schools, all this girl doesn’t like me. This guy here and so this drama and you go into the real world and it’s all about just trying to make your mark in the world.
And I never got a chance to do that academically. So I had this fire — I had this fire to pursue this musical career. I had no idea how to go about it. I was living with my uncle who was up in age at the time, 80 years old, he was an older uncle.
So when I moved to New York, it’s not he could show me around, show me all the cool spots, you know, he was kind of like a … “there’s a train and you get a better car and you go.” And that’s okay, we’ve got the rapid, I can do this. It’s all right.
I was immediately wrong for that, for assuming that it was going to be the same. It is not the same. But I embraced it. I embraced the fear, the danger. I enjoyed the fact that I was going in uncharted territory.
It was like a sense of wonder for me. And I can’t say I was one of those people that were into like having thrills, and, you know, getting some type of stimulation from that. But it was nothing like saying like, “Yo, I’m gonna go out and pursue something, and I know I’m going to do it, and nobody’s going to tell me I can’t, and anybody that doesn’t believe it, I am going to prove it to them sooner or later. And that’s just what it is.
Because at one point, I didn’t feel like I was smart enough to pass that test. Or I didn’t feel like I was smart enough to go to this college. But with music, it was like nobody’s gonna take that from me. You know, what I’m saying because there were things that I was dealing with as a youth at this school that I didn’t talk to people about, that probably kept me from putting my best foot forward with my academics, you know?
And the music is a platform for me to express myself and also to realize that I’m not that crazy, that there’re other kids out there that might be depressed or lonely, dealing with suicide, things like these.
And it was one of those things that, you know, I just feel really blessed to just have my mom who’s been my supporter forever, who supplied that that trip financially, first couple of months or whatsoever. to have the support of my hometown, I can come back in this room and feel the love and the energy, you guys got me really nervous, my palms are sweaty.
But it’s really just the clock cycle, 11 minutes 24 seconds, 23 seconds, 22 seconds. It’s like what’s gonna happen when the clock’s over with? It’s like somebody going to just pull me off stage. Geez…
But really, the first thing I did when I went to New York, and most people think it was kind of like this amazing adventure, it wasn’t. It was pretty much finding a job. And for the first couple of years, I was working everywhere, whether it was like at this clothing store here, or Abercrombie & Fitch, or American Apparel, or Dean & Deluca. I always had a job. I was a hustler.