These three questions are a simple framework you can use to get your mind away from unhelpful thoughts of failure and toward positive action, shifting your mindset from fixed to growth.
Changing things like beliefs and habits is not easy. Developing a mindful practice takes effort. And working to discover healthy habits you actually enjoy takes a lot of self-reflection and a willingness to try things even without complete confidence that they’re going to work.
But it’s possible to make progress in all these areas – if you focus your energy in the right places.
I spent 15 years forcing myself to eat foods that left me unsatisfied and do workouts that made me miserable. And all I had to show for it was extra body weight and a deep frustration with myself and how I looked.
It only took a couple of months to start seeing results once I changed my strategy. After several years, not only had my effort not backfired as usual, but I had met and even exceeded my fitness goals.
But by then, that felt less important than the fact that I was actually happy. The daily struggle I’d lived with for almost my entire life had ended. My lifestyle had definitely changed.
I was eating way more vegetables, rarely bothered with processed foods, was cooking regularly and was active daily. But I adored all these things. They brought me joy and fulfillment.
My healthy habits were now an expression of self-love rather than self-hatred. I’ve now been happy and healthy for as long as I spent dieting – nearly 15 years. In some ways, the change has felt momentous.
But in other ways, it’s felt like the easiest and most natural thing in the world, like this was always the way it was meant to be. Because this is how it feels to work with your mind, instead of against it.
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