How To Teach Your Mind That Everything Is Available To You: Marisa Peer (Transcript)

Following is the full transcript of author and hypnotherapist Marisa Peer’s talk titled: “How To Teach Your Mind That Everything Is Available To You.”

 

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Marisa Peer – Author and hypnotherapist

Wow! I am very lucky I have this rather lovely gift which I really appreciate every day and my gift is that I can work out what’s wrong with someone in 3 or 4 minutes. And usually I can cure them in 5 minutes, and because it’s quite a talent, I mean I’m very lucky I got it, I’m always been asked to go on the radio and go on TV and people ring out with their problems and it’s like you’ve got to do your magic; you’ve got to cure them in five minutes. If it takes half an hour, it’s not the same.

So one day I’m on this radio show, and this woman’s rung up and she is having such an anxiety attack. I can’t even hear what she’s saying, she’s going to go aah, huh, aah, that’s right okay, I got five minutes to sort this girl out, it’s going to take me 20 to get her to breathe properly.

So I’m like okay I’ve got to do this cheesy thing but I’ve got to — I got five minutes, listen just – just relax, just imagine you’ll walk in on the beach and the sand is in your toes and the waves are laughing and she cut me right off and went… I can’t do that; the beach is not available to somebody like me.

And I’m a bit confused now and she went oh yeah well you’re English, you don’t understand. I live in a trailer in Nebraska. I’m nearly 60 years old. I don’t have any money. And she said it again I have never been to the beach, it is not available to someone like me and I’ll probably never go.

And I’m like wow that was me. I would be taking three buses once in my life, I’m going to have the sand in my toes. Man, I live in a country where turquoise water and Sun was not available but I did make a point of finding it. So you know she was a great gift to me because I remember thinking how many people have that belief it was quite early in my career and a couple of weeks later I’m working with this, why call them a school Ian Ayre, this guy’s got so much money, he owns swathes of London, he’s a property mogul and he’s a chronic chronic alcoholic.

And doctors always send me people they can’t fix like we can’t fix him, send him to Marisa, we can’t do anything with him; see what you can do. So in he came and he said what all my clients say, I’ve been to rehab; I’ve done all of this. I just can’t stop drinking. The cure is not available to me.

And I’m like you know it isn’t true. So I do something very different. I put people in hypnosis and I count them back and I say to them, when I count to three you’ll be back at the scene that has caused you to drink. And they always go back to it and I like to do three scenes because it’s like being a detective you take the scenes and you kind of put them together, then you explain to the client. Sometimes they explained to me they do my job for me. Oh yeah I know I see that happen but ah now that’s why.

So I’ve got this guy in hypnosis and I said okay we’re going to go back to why you drink. So I counted a three; where are you and he said I’m six years old.

What are you feeling?

He said, “No one loves me. Not a person in the world loves me.”

Okay. Obviously I’m speaking this up for you. Now we go on to another scene. Where are you now? He says I’m seven years old. He said and my parents they don’t even like me. I don’t understand I have no one that loves me.

And the next scene was pretty much the same. Where are you? 7. What’s going on? I don’t understand when my parents hate me, there is nobody in the world that loves me.

Okay. Now I’m Daisy trading this together and going okay, so tell me now about the love in your life and he went, well I don’t have any. He said love is a bit of a foreign country to me; it’s just alien. I’ve never had love. I have friends. I have star. I have millions of pounds but I don’t have love. And I’m 66 years old. And I guess I’ll never have love.

And I’m like, do you know why you drink? He said no. I am like because that is so painful. When you’re six you can go — I don’t understand my mum and dad don’t love me but maybe I’ll try really hard and I’ll be smart and cute and kind and clever and they love me and because it doesn’t work because it’s not the six year old’s fault.

And then they get to oh right; I’ve tried all this stuff. They don’t love me because I’m not lovable. And once you buy into that, that’s a real problem because you go through the world with this belief and I want you to remember this expression. First you make your beliefs and then your beliefs make you. So be very careful about the beliefs you make because they make you.

And once you’ve made a belief guess what happens. You go out into the world and the universe matches your beliefs. So you believe oh dogs are vicious and bite you, well they pick up the energy and guess what they are vicious and bite you. You believe oh dogs are wonderful, they’re so loyal, they’re your best friend. You could, when you leave here, decide ok I’m going to go out in the world and believe that people are dishonest and rip you off and a rude and you will find that everywhere you go…

And the next day you can wake up and think, I’m going to believe that everyone is kind of basically kind and good and will help me out and guess what you will find that too.

And the problem is that we form beliefs and we’ve been on the planet for 5 years, 6 years. I’m not lovable; love isn’t available. Success isn’t available; money isn’t available, even health or happiness, or believing I matter or I count that’s not available to me.

So I talked to him and said um, OK, so I’m getting your reasoning. Love wasn’t available and now it’s not available. But you didn’t appear to own swathes of London when you were 6 years old. You didn’t inherit this empire. You went out and got it. Why don’t you go out and get love.

And he went, but I don’t know how to do this.

I said well how do you know how to go out and buy all this land and all these hotels and all these apartments?

So eventually I got him to understand that it was just a belief. And I said do you know why you’re an alcoholic because it’s so painful to say I’m not lovable. Better to go I’m not lovable because I’m an alcoholic. I don’t have love because I’m an alcoholic. That’s easier than saying I’m not lovable.

So this is what my clients tell me: love isn’t available; relationships aren’t available; wealth isn’t available; success, health, happiness, praise… feeling I’m significant, believing I matter, even compliments are not available. But the biggest one — the one that’s on top of all the ones that should be on there we’ll fix it and the integral is love.

When you believe that love isn’t available is very painful and Diana was actually a fascinating girl to work with, because her mother left when she was four. She was pretty much raised by nannies and then sent to boarding school and she had a very interesting belief: love isn’t available. I can find love but I can’t keep it.

And because I’ve got so many amazing clients you know limos turn up at my house, bodyguards turn up at my house. I was standing in my neighbor’s garden and the others went oh I think that’s for you and this big limo came down my street and out got four bodyguards and two stood at the gate and one sit at my front door, one came in the house and out came this movie star. Michael Denis was always cool. I don’t understand why these people could… they’ve got everything. I’m like yeah except, I don’t feel lovable.

So people think that fame damages people. Actually I found the other way around: damaged people want to be famous. So let’s imagine someone standing here, they do because a little kid going… my parents don’t love me. I don’t have parents. I’m like a foster child or a stepchild. This isn’t fair. How can I find love? They said I know, I become rich and famous, and everyone would love me. They go over here and suddenly they’re rich and famous and they go ,yeah but you know what, they love this body, they love this talent, they love this voice. They don’t really love me and now they’re screwed because when they were over there, as they got, I am going to go over there and I’m going to be loved.

And I’m over here and I don’t feel any different than I felt before. I still feel unlovable. And now I’ve got nowhere to go except down and everyone knows about it. And that’s when a lot of my clients start to implode because the drive to be famous is because they never felt lovable. And when they get fame they still feel unlovable.

So Diana did what a lot of people do. She gave what she wanted to give. Do you know the percentage of nurses that come from dysfunctional families is astonishing; it really is a calling they give what they most want to get back — not all of them of course but a huge proportion.

And Diana could make everyone love her, she was magnetic. She was charming but she never ever believed that she was worthy of love. And the only person who wasn’t captivated and madly in love with Diana was Diana. She didn’t think she was lovable.

And Marilyn Monroe was very interesting. Someone asked me that if I worked with her, I’m like no I’m old enough to work with Marilyn Monroe but nevertheless I know an awful lot about Marilyn Monroe because she was a classic example. She was born and she was fostered immediately. Her parents didn’t want her .Mother gave her up; father didn’t want to know and she went into the foster system.

And when she was two-and-a-half, she lived with a foster mother who had her own child, also two and a half. And of course her own son would go mama, mama, mama and Marilyn started to go mama, mama, mama. And the foster woman went no, no, you mustn’t call me mama. I’m not your mama. You can call me auntie.

And every time they went to a park or a playground, Marilyn would go there’s a mama, there’s a mama, there’s a mama because she knew she didn’t have one, she felt completely different. And she kind of was already forming this belief that she was never going to have the love that other people had.

And she went through life with an interesting belief that love is available for a little while, because she would get a bit of love in the foster care, then she get moved. And when she’s married to Arthur Miller, she was planning her divorce on the day she got married to him because of her belief that I’m not really lovable, I can’t get it, I can’t keep it. And her shrink could settle on it in Marilyn, what is going on with you? No I’ve just seen this footage of you dancing him out of all these G eyes, you’ve sewn into this dress, everything’s falling out and you have no underwear on. What is that about? And I’m going to quote what she said word for word, she said, “I need everyone to love me. I must belong to the whole world because I have never belonged to anyone or anything in my whole life. And I fear that I never ever will.” And that is a word-for-word quote. I need the whole world to love me. I must belong. I’ve never belonged to anyone or anything.

And that is a real problem with feeling unlovable that you kind of pick it up and then it kind of radiates out from you. And people pick up your beliefs.

So I was asked to work with Amy Winehouse and I really wanted to work with her. She was quite a fascinating girl. In preparation for my working with her, I read up a lot about her, I already knew Amy is an alcoholic. Amy is a drug addict. Amy is anorexic and bulimic fears between the two. Amy has depression and Amy is addicted to really damaged men that are going to bring her down.

And she didn’t turn up for any appointment and I only ever spoke to her on the phone. And I said, why didn’t you turn out? And she said what’s the point? I’m damaged beyond repair. Forgive me if I swear, she said I’m complete… you can’t help me. No one can help me.

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And the problem with Amy is that she did go into rehab and get clean many times and she could give up drugs and she could give up alcohol and she could for period stop being anorexic but she could not give up this belief that being normal was not available to her. You know she never wrote happy song. She wrote Back to Black, my tears dry on their own; love is a losing game. Listen to those lyrics, it’s so tragic. Even being loved I’m going to lose the love and then she wrote I told you I’m troubled, you know I’m no good and she really believed that.

And if you listen to Back to Black, she’s talking to her boyfriend and she said you know you go back to your old girlfriend; you go back to normality. And me, I go back to black. I go back to darkness. I go back to depression. I go back to being so abnormal and there’s nothing normal available. And I know that it was that belief that killed her. It wasn’t drugs; it was the belief that normality is not available.

Of course, beyond that belief is the real belief: I’m not lovable.

And see Whitney Houston… she was the same. When she was 16, or 17, her record label pushed her as this God-fearing, deeply religious, pure wholesome girl. That was okay but she was already a drug addict and she was already being told you must not let anyone know your real sex, you hide that, you know pretend you’re madly in love with Bobby Brown and live a lie and she did.

And it was so abnormal and she too had this belief: normality, that’s not available to me. And then her poor little daughter was brought up in a house where normality was not available.

So I am going to talk to you today about your beliefs, and I want you to think about what you think is not available to you. Who here — be brave, I’m not going to embarrass anyone; it’s not my thing — who here might just have a belief that real wonderful lasting love is not available to them? Put your hand up.

Who here might have a belief that being really really successful and keeping that success going is not available to them?

Who believes that money — making money, keeping money not available?

Who believes that knowing they are deeply significant, they really matter, they’re here for a purpose, they have an extraordinary gift; who thinks no, that’s not available to me?

OK, and who you might believe that even being healthy isn’t available to them?

So you know someone told you this no one comes into the world a baby is born and the first six minutes that everyone looks at them ,the doctor, the nurses, the midwives, they’re too gold oh look at me, bit fat today, my stomach sticks out.

Babies love being looked at. And if you take your baby home and shut it in a cupboard, what’s going to happen? It will scream for days because its belief is someone’s going to come and look after me because I’m so cool, all my needs are met in the womb. So they’re going to be there out of the womb and people are going to take care of me because I’m lovable.

And then someone somewhere tells you the opposite, and you would have think who is that person, what do they know? You know even doctors tell people stuff that’s wrong. I have the greatest respect for doctors, but I’ve met them in my time that you really want to shake.

So I’ve got to see this woman who is suicidally depressed and her doctor said I don’t know how to do with this woman anymore; can you see her? And she told me something that really startled me. She said every time I hear of someone who’s got terminal cancer, I’m so jealous. I wish I could get terminal cancer and die, that would be my greatest dream because people with terminal cancer can die, they don’t have to feel guilty, said my mom killed herself; my dad was a broken man. And I married someone just like my dad and I really want to kill myself but it’s going to break my husband’s heart. It’s going to break my dad’s heart. So I’m cursed to live this miserable life by the depression that cannot be cured. And you know what she just said, the cure is not available to me.

And I’m like why do you think that? You went, well it’s genetic. My mother killed herself with genetic depression. My grandmother had it. I’ve got it. There is no cure.

And I’m like actually there is a cure, and guess what you’re in the right place to have the cure. I have cured hundreds of people, thousands probably, I might have exaggerated to make her better of suicidal depression. And since you’re in my office and I’m going to hypnotize you. Why didn’t you let me cure you?

She went okay. I said well, I’m going to put you in hypnosis; we’re going to go back to the cause of the depression. And so we went back to scenes. I knew we’d go back to the mothers killed herself and we went back to her mother’s funeral and she didn’t cry. She said I didn’t want to cry because you know my dad was broken.

And I realized straight away because every scene was her being a good girl, her being perfect and — so what she did is she decided to be a people pleaser, she really wanted to help out her dad. She never cried; she never complained; she never asked for anything.

I went you know what, you don’t actually have depression; you have repression and suppression because you have no voice. You don’t open your mouth and say what’s going wrong. She married someone she didn’t even love because he kind of loved her, and didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

And now she’s got a mother-in-law who I swear is the bitch from hell. I said god, I’ve heard of some mother-in-law’s in my time but this one — she’s probably like the worst mother-in-law I’ve ever heard of. And you got to stand up, she said I can’t. I said you got to stand up to her and say get out of my house. And when you’re at her house and she says those horrible things get up and leave. And if your husband doesn’t come with you take the car, leave him there but do not allow her to diminish you.

And she said I don’t know what to do. I am like, okay so I got her in hypnosis. You’re going to have to forgive me for swearing now but it was very relevant. I said okay you’re in hypnosis. I want you to imagine your mother-in-law is in front of you and I want you to say to her… and she went I can’t possibly say that. I could never say that. I said you can. You can say it.

So she kind of thought about, she attentively went off, she was terribly posh, and I’m like okay, say it again. So she went off… I am like necessarily, like all of a sudden she went bitch, get out of my house. And she went… it was really cool.

And she went oh my, this feels rather marvelous.

Do it again. She did it again and she went oh this is magnificent.

Do it again. I said you know the reason I’m making you do this is because you’ve come into this room with a belief that you have no voice and you can’t express yourself, because that’s what you believed when you were seven and you had every right to believe that at seven. But you’ve done what many people do; you’ve kept the belief going.

You see if you’d met Diana, if you’d met Marilyn, if you’d met even Amy in the room was a beautiful woman. But really what was in the room was an absolutely damaged child, and these women kind of have this damaged child in them and they are the damaged child more than the beautiful woman.

And I said look, when you were six, you had no power, no options but you’re 46, you want to leave that little girl behind with no voice and find your voice.

So when you go home today, all the way I want you to keep safe… and so she had on a twin set and pearls and Hermes bag, a little Hermes scarf and I watched to walk… you get out of my house… and she wrote to me about three months later and said I must tell you something. When I left your office I hated you, so I could not believe what you made me say and what you made me do. She said I rather affronted actually should but I have to tell you in the last few months I’ve lost 36 pounds; my mother-in-law doesn’t bother me at all. I’m not depressed and I remember what you said repressed and suppressed and I’m not those either. I want to tell you I don’t hate you anymore. In fact, I rather adore you now. And I’ve been telling all my friends about you.

Three years later, she telephoned me. She went, I want to tell you something extraordinary. It just happened to me. She said, I got a letter from my doctor saying you must come in urgently urgently, we need to see you. So she went in thinking what’s going on and her doctor sat across the table and went, you’re not filling your prescription for antidepressants. What is going on?

And she went, well I haven’t been depressed for three years. I’ve had therapy with that Marisa Peer, shouldn’t really say that. And I’m no longer depressed.

And he went, it will come back. You have genetic depression; it will come back; you’re going to have it all your life and you need to take medication all your life.

And that previously suppressed repressed woman went, do you know, doctor, what is not coming back? Me to your office. I will never come back here again. You will never be my doctor again. How dare you tell me that?

And she left. And I love that because just because he was a doctor and he told her that, that didn’t mean it was true. You see whatever you tell your mind it will believe. So let me do something with you.

I want you to just put your arms out in front of you as if you’re holding like reins or the handlebars of a bike. Just put out your hands and close your eyes and I want you to imagine to tell yourself in your left hand, you are holding an enormous red fire bucket and it’s filled with 60 pounds of sand and it’s getting heavier and heavier and heavier. In your left arm you’re holding a bucket of sand and it is so heavy, you can feel the way right up into your shoulder. You can feel it in your elbow; you can feel it in your wrist.

Your left arm is getting heavier and heavier and heavier. The harder you try to keep your left arm up the heavier it’s becoming. And in your right arm you’re holding a huge helium filled balloon, a big blue balloon that’s bigger than you, full of helium, completely weightless.

And now your right arm is floating and moving and pulling and lifting and traveling up and the harder you try to push that right arm down the more it feels as if you are trying to push a balloon underwater, it just insists on springing up, lifting up, traveling up, getting lighter and lighter and lighter.

And all the time your left arm is getting heavier and heavier, and the harder you try to lift up your left arm the more it feels like it’s been encased in concrete. And the harder you try to push your right arm down the more it feels like it’s attached to a pulley that is pulling it up.

And just notice one arm is way down, one arm is weightless because of a belief I just gave you. It’s a belief, so keep your arms where they are. Open your eyes and look around the room. See, beliefs are real. Beliefs are things.

So let’s do another one really quickly.

I want you to put your hand up by your mouth right now. I want you to imagine you’re holding in your mouth a big fat juicy Costa Rica lemon, and you can breathe it in and nothing smells quite like that wonderful lemon smell. And you can feel that waxy lemon. Smell it, feel it, open your mouth, cram that lemon in to shove that lemon into your mouth that’s sucking it and chewing it and biting it, sucker all the flesh. Swirl it around.

And what is happening is of course you are reacting to a thought, not a good thought, not a bad thought, a neutral thought. But you see we react to thoughts and we don’t upgrade our thoughts enough. And time and time again I go back to people who come up with beliefs they made, we’ve been on the planet for five years. They made a belief: I’m not good enough; there’s never going to be enough money; I’m not pretty or handsome or smart or strong. No one’s interested in me and we keep those beliefs for no other reason than they’re familiar.

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So I sat in a doctor’s office when I was in my twenties and he said to me, you will never have a baby. You must accept you are infertile; you can’t have children. But even in my twenties I was already very far advanced in hypnosis, and I said I’m going to stop you there, because I’m not letting that in. So I’m just going to leave and I don’t want to hear anything you have to say because I know I have a baby.

And actually I got pregnant really easily, and then having been told that having a baby was not available to me, now I’ve got new things, well you’re never going to have a normal pregnancy, you’ll probably lose the baby, you know if you carry it to full term, it will have all kinds of things wrong with it because I was diagnosed with an illness that turned out I never even had. And they said yeah, well the baby is going to have the same illness that I actually never had ever.

But I seemed to have a great pregnancy. They tell me my baby were born under 4 pounds and suddenly out she was seven and a half pounds and I knew that I was having a baby was available to me, having a perfect baby was available because I was going to make it available. And then I went off for my pre-birth talk and they said what kind of birth are you having um like hypnosis are like are you crazy, you’re going to have a baby under hypnosis.

This is a nurse saying to me, do you know giving birth is like sitting on a stove with a gas ring turned on? It’s agony. You can’t have a baby under hypnosis.

I’m like, well, what do you think people in Africa do? She went oh well, they’ve got different shaped pelvises. That’s how they give birth in a field.

I’m like, okay, what about people in India? They don’t seem to have different shaped pelvises last time I looked.

Well you can’t have a baby under hypnosis.

I’m like, well, I’m actually doing a recording for the BBC, so and they come to record me having a baby under hypnosis. I’m pretty think much think I am. Anyway I had an amazing birth. I had the BBC and the delivery, I had my mom, my stepdad, my friends, the baby’s dad at a party in there and I had my baby really easily. I just pushed her out, so simple. I felt like I’ve been out and bought her because I went to the hospital, gave birth to my little baby in like two hours and then went up on the ward. And it was like wow, I just feel like I’ve been to a store and got this amazing gorgeous thing.

Anyway, woke up the next day — in England we have wards, you don’t really have private rooms in maternity hospitals. And the nurses were coming around giving everyone a box of Kleenex. I’m like what’s that for. She went that is for the post-natal depression. Everybody gets that on day three.

On day three the whole ward is crying and weeping. It’s okay just the hormones. When you give birth your body starts to lose all the hormones and then you get postnatal depression. I went oh, no no no no. I’m actually having postnatal euphoria. I’m having it right now and I’m going to keep having it for weeks to come.

And they looked at me like I was nuts. I said yeah, I actually haven’t signed up for postnatal depression. I have to find out for postnatal euphoria and since she told me the ward is going to be a sea of weeping and crisis, you know I get in my office everyday weeping, wailing, crying. I don’t really need it on my first day with a baby. So I’m just going to go home.

So I got my little baby, we got a taxi, went home and I didn’t realize because my partner had the house keys that I was locked out of a house and we were not having a great relationship. I didn’t even know where he was, I shouldn’t care I have to say. I was so in love with my baby. He wasn’t important but I couldn’t get in my house.

But I had my car keys. So I put my little newborn baby in the car and I rang my mother, and said mama, I am going to come and stay with you. But she was delighted and I drove to Cambridge. In England when you have a baby you have to have a midwife come every day for 10 days to check out you and the baby, it’s kind of the law and it’s a good thing.

And if you don’t have it they don’t like that. So I had to ring London Midwife and go look I’m not in London; I’m in Cambridge. They could send me a Cambridge Midwife.

So now my daughter’s two days old. I’ve gone to my mum’s and I’m wheeling her out in a little push chair and I’ve just come back to the house as the Midwife arrives. And she goes why are you out? I’m like pardon should why you out. I’m like well it’s a nice day. She went, no but you should be in bed. You should be in bed for a week and your baby should be in bed for a week because of all the germs.

And I’m like well, what do people do if they’ve got seven kids; do they go to bed for a week? I don’t think so. And you know I spent a lot of time in Africa and I don’t see people going to bed for a week with their newborn baby. She is just like no, you really should go to bed for a week.

And then she said to me, anyway how did you get here? And I said I drove my car. And she went, aahh, do you not know about pregnancy brain? I’m like fortunately I have no idea about pregnancy brain. I know you’re going to tell me what it is. And she said yes, when you’ve given birth you can’t concentrate, you can’t focus, you can’t do anything normally.

I said, just this, well I didn’t know that when I took an hour and a half drive down the motorway. I didn’t have pregnancy brain. I didn’t have postnatal depression and it really annoyed me that they told me that was available to me.

So now I’m raising this great little kid that I’ve been told I can’t have and I’m reading this report about how girls who are adopted — if their adoptive mother walks on asking oh my god I’ve got my period, oh so painful, all these cramps are killing me off. I need it to take to my bed. They have the same kind of periods normally not always of course; this was an exception.

And adopted girls whose mother said I’ve got my period, I’m off to play tennis now, have very different periods too. So my little daughter, she’s five and she’s going to stay with my mum and she came back and she started… I’ve got my tension headache. I’ve got my anxiety.

And I’m like baby, five-year olds don’t have tension headaches or anxiety. That is grandmother’s stuff; it’s not yours.

And so we go to my mum’s lot one day, she said to her, my mom, grandmother what are all these pills for? My mum goes, well that one’s for my legs; and that’s for my head, and that’s for the anger, that’s for my heart, that’s my bowels.

My little girl goes, but grandma, how you all know where to go?

And now I’ve got to prep my daughter because every time she goes to my mum’s she was going on a school trip and she came back and my mother gave a little pass on she gave her anti-acids for after dinner, she gave a travel sickness, perhaps we happen to go on the coach and she gave her altitude tablets, in case they went somewhere high.

And I’m saying, you know, baby, we don’t do pills, you and me. We’re not sick.

And she went, but mummy, is grandma sick?

I said no darling, grandma’s not sick. Grandma’s a hypochondriac. Those people they’re not sick but they love taking pills because all my life my mother — her house is like — she’s lovely but her house is like a farms. You want a drug, she’s going to have it in her cupboard.

And when I grew up I thought that is never ever going to be available to me. I’m going to be fit and healthy and I sometimes think I became a therapist and cured people because I looked at this madness of the pills and the hospital trips every day. So I’ve said to my little girl, grandmother’s not sick but she’s a hypochondriac.

And you know when you go to stay with grandmother, when you get in the car do not let her give you pills. After dinner do not let her give you pills. So at this big family dinner and my mother she’s got this sink — and she puts out the dessert, she brings out the anti acids simultaneously. And my little girl looked at my uncle and she said you know my grandmother’s nymphomaniac, mummy said that’s why, she takes pills. But my mom is not a nymphomaniac and we don’t take pills.

I’m like no baby, no hypochondriac. The correction didn’t please my mum.

So I want you all to close your eyes and I want you to imagine you’re holding in your arms you — you the day you’ve just been born. You’re this beautiful perfect brand-new baby. You just came out of a womb where everything was available 24 hours a day. You got food; you got heat; it was always 75 degrees in there. All your needs were met. And you’ve just been born.

And I want you to think that little child who’s just been born, what should be available that child is masses and masses of love. But you know that’s often not the case. My mum told me that when she had me ,she was really upset because I was supposed to be someone else’s baby. My dad’s best friend as it happened.

And years later when I am doing hypnosis, I felt that; I felt that disappointment. But it didn’t matter because that was just the beginning; that’s not my life.

So I want you to imagine you’ve got this little baby in your arms and I want you to think what do you want to be available to that child? Do you want love to be available? Of course. What did you want the person holding you as a newborn to say? And I’m going to tell you and you’re going to repeat it out loud. And I want to hear you. I want you say to that little baby. Wow, look at you. Wow, look at you. Repeat it. Wow, look at you, you are the most perfect thing in the world. You’re so beautiful. You’re so gorgeous. You are completely lovable. And when you grow up you’re going to find so much love, because love is available to you and it always will be.

Success is available to you. You matter. You’re significant. You have a gift and you’re meant to be here.

Keep looking at that little baby and just filling it up with love and praise. You know I see a lot of clients of infertility and although I have a really high success rate I have a few clients who would sell their house to be parents and there’s no doubt they would be amazing parents and it doesn’t happen: they never get to have that baby that they would be phenomenal at raising.

And I see other people who drag their kids up and really do not deserve to be parents. And I’ve often tried to work that out. Here’s these people who’d be amazing parents if they get a baby and these people who are dreadful parents you have three. And the only way I could ever work it out is to believe that we come through our parents; we don’t come from them.

The universe creates – and the universe it creates us will support us in everything that we do, particularly in believing that we are lovable, that everything is available. So you can open your eyes and I want you to think about that one person would be an awesome parent and they don’t get the baby and the other person is a horrendous parent and they do, and how can you make sense of that? You can’t, except by deciding the universe created you. You come through your parents; you don’t come from them. You come through them.

And the universe that created you and that gave you all your amazing talents will support you in everything — everything that you want.

 

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