They raised me with love, so much love. They made me believe I’m worthy of love, not because of what I achieve but because of who I am. Yet I so desperately want to be this perfect child for them and share my happiness and achievements and withhold my struggles and failures. And as I’m proud of my achievements, I didn’t know that this created a huge emotional gap between us and we no longer share the joy and pain of each other’s life journey.
I’ve been experiencing a tough time recently, a heartbroken ending of three year relationship; many questions about friendship and deep insecurity about future. A couple of weeks ago, I came back from the exhausting recruiting shoot from New York. The moment I walked in my room in darkness I experienced an emotional breakdown. I called my mom and burst into tears the moment I heard her voice. And for the next hour and first time in my life I shared my struggles with her and even though she hasn’t been with me in this journey for so long she understands exactly what I’ve been going through. The feeling of reconnection after so many years is like magic. In the end I told her: I love you and she said I love you, too.
It’s the first time I remember either of us has said that. I didn’t expect what felt so uncomfortable previously came so natural and peacefully in the end. I see life as a constant fight against your comfort zone. You push it, it pushes back.
What’s the fear that’s holding you back? What are you not saying or doing because it’s outside your comfort zone? I challenge you to find that comfort zone today. Bravely step out of it and as you get comfortable again, push it even further. Don’t try to get rid of fear. Accept that you will be afraid and then go do it anyway.
As the words said high on the bungee platform, “life begins at the edge of your comfort zone.” Thank you.