First, I saw a total life review, where each and every decision I made, whether consciously or not, logically led to that point of depression. I saw that when we come to earth, it’s up to us to decide who we will be and what we will become, not our parents, society or even religion.
And when I understood that, I have the power to choose, and my choices impact my experience and my feelings. That’s what I was shown a vision of just a beautiful, sparkly future. That inspired me to say yes to life.
I came back into my body and that depression was gone. I came out of that experience, knowing that no matter the drama and trauma we endure or the karma we accumulate, at our core, we are pure, truly lovable. And we deserve to be celebrated for our uniqueness; not crammed into some box of conformity.
Thanks to the awakening, inspired by my musical epiphany, I was able to surrender my ego and reconnect with the essence of my true self where all of my past programming was replaced, and I left Caen, a changed woman.
The last city I visited before returning was Barcelona, where once again I stood on stage to sing, and it’s where I met this beautiful singer-songwriter named Meritxell, the Latin Queen of Soul.
And we found out that we lived not 30 minutes apart back in DC, and we pinky swore that we would get together when we returned.
When I got back home, I started to dismantle the life I once knew and hated. And I began to design my diamond life, as I now call it. I deepened my spiritual practice with yoga, meditation and Qigong. I started singing and writing music more. I performed with Meritxell, and we got together to work on a song, which I will sing for you today.
Reconnecting with music saved my life. And it allowed me to live as my authentic self. I was able to replace that heavy dark cloak of depression with a light cape of creativity. It also inspired me to launch a not for profit, real self-love movement, to freely share resources for healing and self-love tools through books, documentaries, events, and of course, through music.
So before I sing for you, please know this: I don’t think that you need to move to a foreign country, perform on stage or even have a mystical out of body experience to learn or remember that you are truly lovable and accepted as you are.
My experience was quite a convoluted adventure. But I know now there’s a gentler path to reviving the authentic self. It’s about returning to your true home.
So what about you? Have you been wearing that fake ‘I’m fine mask’, but deep down inside you feel that urge, that rumbling inviting you to be truly you? Have you been placed into a box of diagnoses that don’t quite fit? Is there a part of you that you have denied or disowned?
I invite you to reclaim those lost or hidden parts of yourself. Reconnect with what makes your heart sing. And it doesn’t have to become your career. But it may be the catalyst for your rebirth, giving you the courage to step up and live as your authentic self.
And remember, you don’t have to look like anybody else.
Now, I’m not sharing my story today to put any shame or blame on my parents. They loved me, and they did what they knew based on their upbringing. But my experience has inspired me to parent my daughter differently.
Now, many people ask if I regret becoming a doctor, I don’t. This line of work really satisfies my nerdy left-brain level of science. And it’s part of what makes me authentically me. It hasn’t stopped me from launching a branding media and publishing company to satisfy my right brain creative side.
Now, we’ve been told that diagnoses like ADD, depression and anxiety are these terrible brain diseases. And I don’t deny that they are real conditions and I’m in favor of effective treatments.
But I believe they may be symptoms of disconnection with the authentic self, losing the connection to your true essence and having your power to choose stripped away through early childhood experiences, may be part of why you feel so bad. I wasted so much time and energy, trying to give the word dilettante, a positive spin.
But I realize it’s an archaic, outdated term. It’s so much healthier for me to embrace my true nature as a multipotential Renaissance human.
I believe we all need to embrace all of who we are to be truly healthy, happy, whole, and fulfilled. It’s my deepest desire and my highest wish that you can also look yourself in the mirror and say, I love you. Me.
Download This Post as PDF file here: My Journey to Self Love_ Dr Andrea Pennington (Transcript)
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