So the idea of getting help, and having somebody– we are notoriously bad observers of our own reality. We don’t have good third eyes. So having another set of eyes on you and how you function in the world and how others experience you, even if you have people getting in your face and being honest, still, to have an objective third party tell you, here’s who you are to the world.
Now, if that’s not what you want to be to the world, here’s how you can change that. What a gift! And the earlier you do it, the better. I tell every one of my clients who run big departments or companies, I want– you have to have– I want to be your coach, and I want the name of your therapist, your personal trainer, and your nutritionist. There’s a foursome there. You should not be running tens of thousands of people and billions of dollars of budgets without at least, if not more, those four things around you.
AUDIENCE: Hi, thanks for coming. According to the study, a majority of people didn’t have all four, hence the failure rate. For the people who have three out of four, was there a normal distribution, or did you see that one particular quadrant was just really hard for people to—
RON CARUCCI: Such a great question. So context and connection caused faster failure. So in the 18-month window, the six-month failures were all failures of connection. And specifically, peers and direct reports could pull the plug on your career quicker than anybody. Bosses were a little bit out of sight.
Context was you’re obtuse, right? The interesting thing about choice and breadth was the failures came later, because here’s why. So if your company sucks at decision-making and your governance structures are unclear and it’s either all false consensus or all cowboy, you’ll blend right in. People won’t know you suck at decision-making. And if your company sucks at breadth, meaning it’s very fragmented, very siloed, and very individualistic and very piecemealed, you’ll fit right in. The problem becomes after you’re trying to fight that, right? So if you’re trying to introduce better decision-making, because you’re good at it and they’re not, or you’re trying to bridge the seams and you get resisted and no one else is on that same mission, you fail, but slower.
AUDIENCE: Hey, I’d love to hear some of your thoughts on how to build trust and relationship to get some of that honest feedback, beyond just asking. How do you actually get the real answer?
RON CARUCCI: So you have to commit to other people’s success, right? And find a couple of people, find a couple of peer coaches, or get a small group together and say, hey, can we have each other’s backs here? And there are some great tools out there. Come to our website. We’ve got some great tools to offer on, how are we going to learn to give each other feedback? And how are we going to learn to– so in this meeting, I’m about to give this presentation. Or, in this meeting, I’m about to go do this. Can you watch for the following things? It takes courage to ask.
But if you find people with whom you have– the colleagues. If you don’t have the trust there, then ask them, what would it take for us, over the next few months, to build the kind of trust with each other? And just say, I’ve observed your insights. You seem someone who has a lot to offer. I’d love your feedback. And I recognize that maybe right now we don’t have that relationship. But how, over the next 90 days, can we do that? Lunch once a week? But be intentional about it. And people appreciate that. But be very– those relationships are made, not born.
Yeah Guys, thanks so much for having me. It’s been great to be with you. Enjoy your holiday.