She says, “Yeah, I know. Why don’t you just try talking as if you are telling the experience of one of your clients-patients that you used to work with?”
I said, “There is nothing more powerful than talking from your authentic experience. People would appreciate that.”
“I know, but there would be people in the crowd who might want to put you down.” And she’s naming the negative voices in society which I think actually are not the majority. The majority are compassionate. And even a negative voice is sometimes a compassionate voice that has lost its way.
And I said, I wanted to speak, not just for myself but for other people who have been silenced by that pressure of when you ask them, how are you? And it seems to be an international phenomena especially in capitalist societies that you say, “I’m good”. There is a kind of pressure to be cool, if you don’t have issues. I mean, long time, I kind of realize that the more I share about myself, the more people tell me their stuff. And I learned to deal with that false coolness. You don’t have problems? You’re cool? I’ve got lots of problems. That’s how cool I am.
I don’t want to fall into this idea that my life is totally belonging to me. That I am the sole author of my life, because I’m not. Because I’ve had a lot of help. And when I open up I get a lot of flow. And I want it to keep flowing. This is the first time in the history of humanity as we know it that we can make so much influence on each other’s lives throughout the whole world.
By now, 24 people have committed suicide. The question is: How are you going to deal with it? Two weeks ago, Robin Williams died. I looked at the internet and what was being said and I realized that his daughter can read these comments. And that’s what we say can make a difference. And most of the comments were positive, but some would say, I’ve been there. He shouldn’t have done that.
Next time. This is my suggestion. Next time you meet somebody who says, who appoints themselves in this position of authority, of I’ve been there. Just very calmly say, since you haven’t committed suicide, you haven’t really been there. And since you are here in the same here that I am, I’m going to tell you every single thing you say can be either positive or negative. Both will have an impact on me. And the tone by which you say it will make sure it will live in me long after it has been said.
With that, I am going to leave you with two examples of two extreme choices and show you what they do to me.
The first one, I’d like you to get in touch with your most judgmental, harsh side and just point your finger at me and go like this zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Come on, come on, everybody. Get nasty, get nasty on me. It’s been done to you. You know it. RRRRRRR. OK, and it stays long after it’s been said.
The next one, I’m going to leave you not only to think — I need to say anything after that. Can I take this off? I can. I want you to sit with both feet on the floor please and with your spine right up. I want you to give me your most compassionate sense of being and it doesn’t matter if you like me or not. Actually, if you don’t like me it’s even better because this is not about me, it’s about you. So just a gentle hum. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Come on. This is what happens.