The list of cons was there, you know. There were certain social gatherings that he would miss, some few miss on some of the things but the list of pros was fundamental. And the biggest pro was that he would no longer have to think about it again.
Psychologists have found that on average people have about 50,000 thoughts a day. And Nate said that about 40,000 of those thoughts were about food, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. And that’s essentially the nature of addiction, is that you can’t stop thinking about it. And he was very addicted to food.
And that’s why the Michael Jordan quote is so important, that once you make a decision you no longer have to think about it again. That was the biggest benefit of Nate just making this shift and saying I’m no longer going to do this anymore. I don’t want to have to think about this ever again.
And once he let that go and once Elco let that go, and once Tom Hartman let that go, then all of a sudden, they were able to be exactly who they wanted to be.
The problem with them trying to control their behavior, willpowering their way to change, maybe setting short goals is that they never actually were able to let go of that thing that they wanted to get rid of that whole time. Once they were able to just make the shift in who they were and how they saw themselves for the rest of their lives, once you’re able to actually make a decision and cut off the alternative option, by committing a 100%, then all of a sudden their mind was completely free and they felt so aligned with who they were that they started doing things that they’d been procrastinating for years.
Elco started a business that he had wanted to do for three years. Within a week of having that vision of seeing himself, he had already started. And since then he’s done all sorts of things that he’s always wanted to do.
Nate’s the same way. Ever since he’s been able to let this thing go and he’s stopping… he’s no longer avoiding the behavior that he hates and he’s now pursuing the life he loves because he’s so aligned with who he is and where he’s going and because the story he’s telling himself is based on that future not based on: Oh well this is why I am the way I am, then all of a sudden he could be more courageous, he could be more confident.
The scientific definition of confidence is actually that confidence is the byproduct of prior performance. Once you start acting confidently or once you start acting powerfully, then you develop confidence.
And confidence then allows you to have imagination; it allows you to see a bigger future; it allows you to believe in yourself. And confidence allows you to be creative.
So now kind of pushing this question on you: What are some of the things that you’ve potentially been resisting? What are the things that you’ve been thinking about doing? And maybe they’ve been on your mind for a long time. It could be an addiction that you’ve been thinking about, weighing in your mind for years. Maybe you’ve tried it for 30 days at a time. Maybe you’re going off of it for a year but you haven’t had that shift.
On the flip side: what are those things that you’ve wanted to do for years that you’ve been thinking about? What are those things… you know going back to my wannabe entrepreneurs, what are those… a lot of those wannabe entrepreneurs who I interviewed had been thinking about this for years.
It actually took me years to get to the point where I jumped off the cliff and it all starts with the financial investment, it all starts with shifting your story and shifting your identity. You can’t do it through willpower. You have to do it through who you’re going to be.
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