Did you know that every single decision you’ve taken in your entire life and will take for the rest of your life is based on one thing and one thing only? If you give that to the people listening to you, that is the feeling, that is what will move them now.
Now I’ll add pauses and it sounds like this:
Did you know that every single decision you’ve taken in your entire life and you will take for the rest of your life is based on one thing and one thing only?…(pause) and that is an emotion. Now if you give that emotion to the people listening to you, they will take the decisions you want them to take.
Is there a difference? Absolutely. But you know what? Some people are afraid of the pause. So you go like: woah, am I going to do one of those? I’m not; I refuse. I prefer to compromise, and you know what the compromise for a pause is: what does it sound like? Yeah, uhhhhh, ayeee, uhhhh, ahhhh. It’s like a skok of sheep when you listen to certain conferences… uuuhhhh…
There’s nothing among these 110 skills that lowers your ethos and your credibility more than uuuhhhh, because it signals that you don’t know what you are saying and where you’re going in your talk.
So let me give you a demonstration:
Did you know that every single decision you’ve taken in your entire life and will take for the rest of your life is based on one thing and one thing only?…uuuuhhhhhh… and that is a feeling…ahhhhhhh..
I think you prefer the one with a silence.
Now those were the five main skills I wanted to take you through. And if you haven’t used them before and you start using them as a public speaker, they will make a difference to your speech.
I would like to treat you to four small skills as well, just to give you an appreciation of how small a skill can be but still have a great impact. It looks like this (gestures)…. and those were the four skills.
Did you follow them? Number one as I looked up, which illustrates that I’m thinking, which increases your sense of presence for me on stage.
The second thing I did was that I did an audible inhale which makes your brain believe that I’m going to say something that’s exciting.
I then combined that with a Duchenne smile which means that I smiled with my mouth and with my eyes.
Did you fall for it? Because what I did as well was this: I did a self laughter, and also that increases anticipation of what I’m going to say.
So four small skills executed in five seconds changes the state of your mind.
I’d like to pick out one of those and just end off with that and that is the Duchenne smile.
Duchenne smile has in studies shown that you are more likely to be married, less likely to be divorced, you’re happier, you’re more content with life. And you actually are more relaxed in situations like this.
So I asked myself: am I a Duchenne smiling person? And to figure that out, I walked over to my computer and I logged in and I looked at all my 60,000 Google photos. They’re not all of me but of family members and others. I looked at mine and it seemed my brain required sort of a miracle to do a Duchenne smile. You know where you smile with your entire face. I thought that’s not fair.
And considering the psychological benefits I better learn this. So I spent not four but six months learning how to do a Duchenne smile. And suddenly my brain was launching Duchenne smiles in just everyday happiness. It’s beautiful and I felt happier as a human being.
I want to show you what it looks like. Every time I go on my summer holidays I take a photo of myself. And these were the last years of those photos. This was 2014. There’s no Duchenne smile. 2015 definitely no Duchenne smile. 2016, still no Duchenne smile. 2017 no Duchenne smile. This year Duchenne smile.
Does it make a difference? Absolutely. Brings joy to you and stability to me.
Now we’ve come to the end of this talk and I would like to end with something that relates to boxing. You know Muhammad Ali and the likes — they have combinations for when they’re going to strike somebody, knockout. And the same kind of combinations exist in public speaking as well.
So what I’d like to show you is this combination. I’m going to start with the Number 34, go to number 8 and then we’ll carry on to 69, and 98 to 67 and 18, 22 and 101 and 21. Are you ready for the combination? Okay, looks like this.
Ladies and gentlemen, I hope that you’ve had fun, that you have learned. But more than anything I hope that you feel inspired to become a greater public speaker. Because anybody can become good, anybody can come great and everybody can become outstanding, because it all comes down to one single thing. [Smiles]
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