That’s when I began to do the things that I’ve told you about. I got into undergraduate school, I got into graduate school, and over time as I reflected about what happened, and I studied people who transform their results — people who transform their results, not just wish for a better result, but actually transform their results –
There are three things they do, every one of them, whether they do it consciously or unconsciously. And when I transformed my health result, I was totally an unconscious competent. I just did what she told me to do.
She said: “Here’s what’s going to happen. When you have that surgery, your mind is very much like a rubber band, you thought those thoughts so much, your mind is going to want to think those toxic thoughts. They’re going to remove that one kidney. Every time you notice yourself starting to think of toxic thoughts, say, “No, that left with the kidney,” and then immediately imagine yourself — like you’re walking in and getting into your own bed – imagine yourself.”
And for me, because I wanted my two big dreams: I want to be a teacher, and I want to raise my son.
“Imagine you’re walking into a school, you’ve got a little five-year-old’s hand in yours. Feel the warmth of his hand in yours. You walk up to a teacher. He goes into his kindergarten class. You hear the click-click of your heels. You go around the corner, and there’s your classroom, and you’re a teacher, and he’s five.
Imagine yourself. Then fast forward: imagine you’re sitting in a big auditorium. There’s caps and gowns down there. Your son’s 18; he’s graduating from high school, and you’re there, and your teaching career is growing.
And then fast forward and imagine that you’re in the front row of a wedding. You’re the mother of the groom. Your son’s marrying the love of his life. And your teaching career is flourishing. Keep repeating that.”
I had done that unconsciously. Every time I would start to think, “Oh my gosh!” and start to generate that wavelength of self-loathing, I said: “No, that left with the kidney.”
Then I saw myself, and I imagined being the person taking him into kindergarten, being the person seeing him graduate, being the person sitting in the front row of his wedding.
I had no idea the power of that. But after 45 years of studying and tens of thousands of people, what I know are these three things.
That if when we get together next year for our reunion, and if you would love to be able to share results, in particularly one or two areas of your life where you feel the greatest longing and the most discontent, then these three things will help you.
NUMBER ONE, YOU WANT TO CREATE WITH CLARITY A SPECIFIC DREAM.
Imagine yourself: health, what would you love? relationships. As clear the dream you can design, the more your brain can work on that frequency.
You know if you want to change your television channel, you’ve got to change the frequency. You know if you want to change the radio station you’re listening to, you’ve got to change the frequency. We’re not really different. We think on frequencies.
Our ability to see and not see opportunities are on the frequencies we think from. Create a specific dream. See yourself in it. Refuse to stay discouraged. I didn’t say refuse to get discouraged; we’re all going to get discouraged. Not everything we try is going to work out.
We learned to walk by falling down; we just didn’t stay down. We were little kids. It was normal to explore, experiment. We got older, and we thought every step we take has got to work out.
So decline to stay discouraged. Okay, that was feedback.
When Edison was asked “How did you survive 10,000 failures?”
He said: “I never had a failure; it was all feedback.”
You’ll have some feedback this year. Decline to stay discouraged, and then be more interested in the growth that will happen for you by means of having a dream.
Yes, many, many wonderful things will happen if you become a dream builder, not a dreamer, a dream builder, because you’re going to create results anyway.
But to stay in the comfort zone means you’re going to keep having what you’ve had because that’s where you’re comfortable. If you want something you’ve never had, do something you’ve never done — that’s growth. We’ll get a little unstable in that part of our life.
So if you’re more interested in growth than comfort, you’re willing to be interested a little bit in growth because it’s more for you than what’s been, and do that in service of your dream.
So those three things: be specific about your dream; decline to stay discouraged; be in service of your dream through the growth that happens, and you’re going to have that every single day during this 365-day experiment before we have our reunion next year.
Now, not one of us can go back and change what’s back there, but every single one of us can decide what’s going to be out there.