As a consequence of that, their cooperations really break down more quickly. So, nice example of a self-fulfilling prophecy. As odd as it sounds, we need to trust, we need to be trustful to recognize distrust and then to repair relationships.
The final point is as simple as it is nice: we genuinely enjoy being trusted. When other people place trust in us, this makes us feel good; it make us feel good about ourselves.
And initial evidence from new scientific studies shows that our brains seem to inherently reward us for being trusted. That’s not all.
Closing the circle, if you will, our brains not only reward us for being trusted, but also for being trustworthy. We genuinely enjoy behaving in a trustworthy manner.
We don’t want to breach others’ trust; we want to reciprocate, to do right by others. The strong preferences to be trusted and be trustworthy are deeply ingrained in us.
Taken together, besides being a difficult business sometimes, and besides being very dynamic, trust is really indispensable. We need trust to establish, to maintain and to repair relationships. Trust empowers us and we can empower others by trusting them.
This brings me back to my initial example of my parents, and them letting me play outside and out of their sight. Maybe inspired by the vampire bats, they are dressed like vampires here, and that is quite a while ago. I think they allowed for a lot of good things to happen by trusting me to play out of their sight.
Meeting new kids, I could learn that not everybody is as trustworthy or untrustworthy as they look. I could learn that maintaining relationships takes a lot of forgiving and being forgiven. By trusting me I think they taught me to trust others and trust myself.
That is a pretty great gift that I hope I can pass on to my children one day.