Read the full transcript of renowned attorney John Tarantino’s talk titled “You Only Have One Life… Until You Have Another” at TEDxProvidence 2025 conference.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
Introduction
JOHN TARANTINO: Good afternoon, everyone. A young boy has cancer. His skin, it’s paper thin. He has no hair, and his complexion is a sickly yellow. He has a lump in his stomach, and it hurts all day, every day. Even his mother’s loving arms cannot provide him with comfort. But the young boy, whose name is Oscar, is smart, and he is perceptive. He knows his prayers. He knows there is a God, and he knows there’s a heaven. And he prays to God that God will end his pain, that he can be happy again, like he used to be. And he asks God to take him into heaven. Oscar’s prayers are not answered, not in that life.
An immigrant from Turkey comes to the United States, to New York City, looking for new hope, a new life, a new beginning. He looks for a job. He can barely speak English, and he finds no success. Soon, whatever little money he had is gone, and he’s broke, and he’s living on the streets. His name is Haki. One day, Haki is badly and viciously beaten, and he’s left for dead in a dumpster in an alley behind a pizza restaurant. He can’t move. His body is broken and shattered, but he’s conscious and he can hear. And Haki hears a garbage truck and a trash compactor coming closer and closer, and he’s terrified. Haki asks God to watch over and protect his family in Turkey because he will no longer be there. And Haki asks God to forgive him for his sins because he is contrite, and he asks God to welcome him into paradise.
Haki’s prayers are not answered, not in that life.
A man sits next to his wife in hospice. She’s waiting to die. At one time, she was young and beautiful, always smiling, always happy, always positive, always joyful, and now she is frail and weak. Her name is Pat. She turns to her husband, John, and she says, every day I pray to God that he would give me a new chance, a second chance, a new life. And she asks John, if God grants my prayer, would you choose me once again, even knowing how things would end? If so, that would make me happy. Pat’s prayers are not answered, not in that life.
Now these three little stories may seem like tragedies, ones with sad and purposeless endings. And if that’s what you have concluded, well, let me tell you that you are wrong. You are completely wrong, because as you will learn, each of these stories is actually a story of hope and strength and triumph and enduring happiness. Each of these persons, Oscar, Haki, Pat, and John, learned that they had only one life until they had another. And they also learned that God answers prayers in his own way and in his own time.
Now what do I mean when I say that you have only one life until you have another? Well, we only have one chronological life on earth. But within that one chronological life, there are several discrete lives that we live. For example, think about how different your life was as a child from what it’s like today. What was important to you? What you thought would make you happy? Who you wanted to be, where you wanted to live, and who you wanted to be in your life. Probably different then than what your life is today. Probably very different. And I want you to think about your lives as we go through this talk and the discrete things that have happened.
Now, we all have one tree of life for us. But that tree has many branches. And those branches spread far and wide and in different directions. And that’s a good thing, a very good thing, because our lives are not meant to be stagnant. They’re meant to be dynamic. We are meant to change. We are meant to evolve. We are meant to grow. And each of those discrete lives may be very different one life to the other, unless, unless there is something that transcends those lives. Unless there is something that gives us worth and happiness, life after life after life.
The Source of Enduring Happiness
And there is something, there is something that gives us that continuing happiness. And that something is the compassion, the empathy, the humanity to love others, to have others in our lives. Others who we need. Others who we want to share our lives with. Others who make us happy. Because although we may have only one chronological life and many discrete lives within it, we all have one soul. And that soul was not meant to be alone. We were created to be with others. We were created to have others in our lives to love and make us happy. That’s my belief. But my belief is also supported by the data.
Let me tell you about the Harvard Happiness Project. It started in 1938, 87 years ago. It’s the longest longitudinal study of what makes people happy ever. There were 724 participants when that study began. They were young people. Today, a handful of them are still alive. They’re more than 100 years old. And each of those participants, decade by decade, was asked, what makes you happy? And they were to record the answers in a journal. What makes you happy? And of course, the answers differed as they grew and aged and evolved.
And so much so, that if you read the journal entries of someone who had lived a long time, you probably would conclude that you were reading about different person’s lives, not the same person’s life. That’s how much they changed, decade to decade. But there was one constant, one constant of continuing happiness that each of them recorded. And that one constant, that one constant of happiness was sharing their lives with others. It was the constant of happiness. It led to enduring happiness. And if you have those loving relationships, you will lead longer, healthier, and happier lives.
I want you to think about the life that you are living today, the lives you are living today. And of course, they’re different, they’re changed from what they used to be. But I am confident that if you went back and said, what makes me happy, what made me happy in my life, it will always involve others. Never alone. Never alone. It will always involve others. And that’s what the Happiness Project shows. That is the way to continuing, enduring happiness, having others who we love in our lives. We need others to give us support. We need others to make us happy. We need others to love us.
For me, for me, those others are here today in this audience. They are the answer to my question, what makes you happy? They do. And for you, maybe your others are here as well today. Maybe they’re sitting beside you. Maybe they’re holding your hand. Maybe they’re looking at you and smiling, or maybe they’re just beside you as a companion when and if you need them, always. I hope so. I hope that’s the case.
The Resolution of the Three Stories
Now let’s return to those three stories from the beginning of the talk. Oscar, the young boy, did not die and go to heaven. His prayer was not answered, at least the way he wanted it to be answered. Oscar went through rounds of chemotherapy, many medical procedures, surgeries. He was in pain. He suffered. But he survived, and he survived to live a worthy life, a beautiful life. Oscar became a doctor, a pediatrician, caring for cancer-stricken children. So his prayer of going to heaven was answered in a different way, in a different life. But make no mistake, he’s ticketed to go to heaven for all of his caring, for all of the love that he shows those children, for all of his care and compassion. Oscar will go to heaven in the right time.
God did not answer Haki’s prayer. He did not watch over and protect Haki’s family in Turkey. He did not welcome Haki into paradise. Why? Because Haki did not perish in the dumpster. Right before the garbage truck and the trash compactor came, the owner of the restaurant rushed out and yelled to the driver, Wait, I have more trash, more trash from last night. Let me put it in the dumpster. And when he lifted the lid, the owner heard a weak voice say, Please, please help me.
Well, the owner not only rescued Haki, the owner got him medical attention and treatment, and after a long recovery, Haki went to work in the owner’s pizza restaurant. Today, Haki owns 10 pizzerias in New York City. His entire family from Turkey works with him in those restaurants. Haki watches over and protects them. He has many paying customers in his restaurants, but there are some who do not pay, ever. They are the homeless. Haki doesn’t call them customers, he calls them his other family. And he provides them with food and with jobs. And every day, every single day, Haki checks the dumpster before the trash compactor comes. Again, Haki’s prayers answered in a different way, but I’m confident that one day, Haki will be welcomed into paradise.
A Personal Conclusion
And finally, there’s John and Pat. Now for those of you who have watched my first TEDx Redemption Stories, you know that I am John from that story. And you know that Pat was my wife of 45 years. She passed from pancreatic cancer. And in that day in hospice, when Pat asked me, if God gave me another life, would you choose me once again, even knowing what the end would be? This was my answer. I said, Pat, if God gave me a million lives, I would choose you a million times. Over and over and over again. Forever. And one day, Pat, that’s where we’ll be. In forever.
Now some people, like Oscar, call that place heaven. And some people, like Haki, call that place paradise. Whatever it’s called, I know what it is. It’s a place that we’ll be together forever. Peace of happiness, a place of comfort, a place of joy. And it’s my hope that one day, in my right time, God will allow me to be together again with her. And I hope when that happens, we’ll meet Oscar and Haki and share our stories. Thank you very much.
