Read the full transcript of Kayode Ewumi’s talk titled “Confidence Vs Courage” at TEDxPeckham 2017 conference.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
I made 1,000,000 in 30 seconds. And I’ll tell you guys how. I just always wanted to say that, I don’t, I have nothing about money. This microphone is very nice and the testing is really nice and I’m blessed to be here.
I’m Kayode Ewumi. I see a lot of phones, fantastic. I’m Kayode Ewumi. I’m 23 years old. I’m an actor and a writer and a storyteller. A lot of people here, real safe to you too. So when Suri hit me up to speak at TED, first of all what they’re doing is amazing and this whole thing is fantastic. So lots of love to TED.
When they hit me up to speak, I was like, what should I talk about? I know you guys want to hear about acting and real safe. I’m not going to do that. So I thought, what can I speak about?
The Workshop Experience
So I thought back and I went back and I’m really happy. A lot of nice faces here. Sorry. So I went back and I thought back and I remember being at this workshop, a theatre workshop. And I had this exercise to do in which it’s called like actioning, right? So you might have a sentence of someone saying, “I love you.” So each word you do a gesture. How are you doing? You’re all right? Nice to see you.
So each word, you’re into my school. So each word you do a gesture, right? So I would be like, “I,” then “love,” then you do a shape or something for love, an action for love. So I had like a whole page to do and I kept on doing that. I didn’t stop. I was sweating like hell. But I kept on doing it. I kept on doing it. And then the director said to me, “Okay.” I was like, “Yeah.” You’re a very brave actor. I said, “Okay.” Then “Okay.” I was like, “Cool.”
Courage and Confidence
And one time, so I’m a Christian. And one time I was reading the Bible. Joshua 1:9 talked about courage. Joshua having courage to trust in the Lord, right? And I was like, okay, cool. Courage, cool. That’s quite nice. I said, I just started thinking about things to talk about. And I thought about confidence and courage.
A lot of young people have confidence. A lot of people have confidence. Not everyone has courage.
According to Google, confidence is the feeling or belief that one can have faith in something or rely on someone. According to Google. Okay? Courage, according to Google, again, is the ability to do something that frightens one; bravery.
Two separate things. So I thought, let me just come here. I’ve got 30 minutes left. Let me just come here and talk about courage and how I use it to create work.
Step 1: Within
So there’s four steps. Step number one is called within. I think it’s really important as individuals to know what’s inside of you. Know what’s inside of you. And you have to go through things in life to know the ability that you have. Right?
For example, Hulk. Hulk. Hulk has to get angry to know that he’s strong. That big green monster. He has to put himself in certain situations. If he was like, I don’t like getting angry. So anytime I feel like getting angry, I’m going to put it down. A lot of people will die. Am I correct? A lot of people will die. So a lot of people depend on him and his anger. You like that? There’s more.
So Hulk, for example, people depend on him. Right? So I thought about, okay, let me talk about within. What’s inside of you?
My Personal Journey
So my story is I went to Coventry University to study theater and professional practice. Originally, I went there to do journalism. I’ve acted all my life. I’ve always enjoyed acting. But I went there to do journalism because my dad was like, acting, there’s no space for black actors in the industry. And I was like, dad, no, it’s not true. He called me to the living room one day to watch EastEnders.
They put it on. I love my dad. He put it on. And he said, “How many black people do you see?” And you saw Gus, who was sweeping the street. And you saw Patrick, who at that time was a drunkard. So it was like, they’re going to uni. I was like, cool.
So I had to think about something else. So I was like, OK, something else. What can I do? What can I do? So I thought about, OK, I’ll be like a TV presenter. I’ve got a nice personality, whatever, for acting, a back burner, whatever. Cool. I went to uni.
In a similar lecture hall like this, I sat in this room, like a journalism room, and I was bored. The only thing I remember is this girl called Jennifer, who was really, really pretty. Apart from that, I don’t remember anything the person was talking about. So two days into my course, I dropped out of my course, and I switched to do theater and professional practice.
And when I did the change, I didn’t tell my dad. So I remember, but I didn’t have the desire in me. And I always used this analogy of a woman and a womb. If you haven’t got a womb, you can’t have kids. You can’t see the fruits. You haven’t got a womb. So if you haven’t got desire, you can’t do what you want to do. If you don’t want to do this thing, and you haven’t got genuine desire inside of you, you wouldn’t execute it well. Even the fruits that come from it, they wouldn’t taste nice. You like that?
So I went to uni.
I switched my course. And when I switched my course, I told my mom. She was like, “Oh, Kayode, why?” I was like, “Mom, I don’t want to do this journalism thing. I want to be an actor, an established actor. And this course is really going to do me well.” So she said, “Just call your dad.”
I am a very obedient child. I’m Nigerian. And in my culture, I respect. You lot are laughing. That’s bad. And respect is a really big thing in my culture. So I’m a really, really obedient child. So this was a big thing for me to not listen to my dad and change without him knowing.
So I called him. “Hi, dad.” My dad’s got a high-pitched voice. “Kayode, are you okay?” I was like, “Yeah, yeah, dad, I’m cool, I’m cool.” He’s like, “How’s uni?” I was like, “Oh, yeah, it’s fine.” And I told him about my course. And he was like, “Oh, no, Kayode, why? All this acting, acting, acting.”
But then what happened is that when he saw the desire that I had, he realized, you know what? If this boy is willing to do this, let him do it. So likewise, you guys, if you’re willing to do something, people will support you. But you have to go and do it first. You have to be courageous. The ability to do something that’s right is one. I was scared. I was scared of my dad. I was scared. But I had to do it. I had to be brave.
Step 2: The Art of Leadership
Step number two, the art of leadership. I always categorize things into two with people. Step one, there’s passengers and then there’s pilots. Okay? Passengers and pilots.
Passengers, when they get on a plane, what do they do? They show their passport, they walk on, they sit down with their thing on their neck, and they enjoy the flight. They get told what to do, right? Yeah? They get told what to do. Someone’s like, “Could you please just sit back and enjoy the flight,” or whatever. They sit down and they relax.
A pilot, on the other hand, has to train hard, has to be alone in that library, banging it out, because there’s so much responsibility. A pilot has to train hard. They’re in that cockpit by themselves, just training, looking at all the buttons.
So likewise, us, if you want to be courageous and do what you want to do, you need to spend time by yourself. If you want to be a leader, you have to spend time by yourself. And people will say stuff, you don’t meet me anymore, whatever, whatever, but you need to spend time by yourself.
The whole documentary, Terrell and myself, when we made it, we were about, my birthday was in my house, it was us two making, us writing these episodes, before we went to BBC Three, just writing these episodes by ourselves. We have to be by ourselves. Try and cut things out.
Step 3: Getting It Down
Step number three, getting it down. This is a step for me that’s really important. I believe everyone has their own way of getting ideas down, or writing stuff down. I remember I saw Caleb Femi spoke, I love that guy, he’s amazing, whatever he is. Looks like he’s on steroids. Caleb Femi, is he here? Caleb Femi, he spoke, and he’s a very intellectual guy, amazing guy. Come on, be serious, okay, be serious.
His talk, when he was speaking, when we had the rehearsal, TED was in the foyer area, and Caleb was there as well, and I saw his map, and he had pages upon pages of text, and I was like, I’ve got half a piece of paper, with scribbles of four points on it, this is ridiculous, I’m not gonna do well. And I realized, that’s his way of getting it down, and this is my way of getting it down. Everyone has their own way of getting ideas down, and you need to find your way of getting it down.
And I want to challenge a lot of musicians, especially in America, that this whole big thing, about like, you know, you hear people lighting up weed and stuff, before they make music and whatever, or drinking, or music videos have drink, and they light up spliffs or whatever. My thing is that, if that’s your way of getting it down, you’re gonna be dependent on that thing. As soon as you realize it’s not working, you wanna just take more, and more, and more, and more.
So I challenge all the musicians, all the creatives who think they have to focus on having these things to use, in order to get stuff down, try and do it naturally. Because what you don’t realize, is when you smoke, and when you drink, or when you do whatever, the idea is still coming from you. So it’s inside you. One clap, okay? So it’s inside you. So of course, it hasn’t come from an outer source, it’s inside you. So clearly, if it’s inside you, find a way of getting it naturally. You go for a walk, you listen to music, you read books, what do you do? That’s a way of getting it down.
Step 4: Jump
My last point is jump. I think it’s really important for all of us to jump and believe in what we wanna do. I was… This story. So there’s two girls in my uni. I used to see, I’ve seen a girl in uni, two different girls, not at the same time, okay? I’m that kind of guy. And one of them was very insecure about herself, and it was a struggle to get along sometimes, because she’d always seek compliments and stuff. And then the other one was quite confident in herself, that even sometimes I was like, “Oh, you’re pretty,” “I know.” And I was like, okay, girl, that’s nice, cool. And it was very attractive.
So a lot of us, when we have ideas and we wanna put stuff down or whatever, the confidence you have in your idea is so powerful. When you’re like, I don’t need you to commission this or whatever, it’s gonna get commissioned anyway, but thank you. People respect that, even when you believe in something.
As a Christian, I always say, don’t like swear in my work or whatever, or don’t like glorify in the world. And a lot of directors, they say, you know what, okay, I’m not a Christian or whatever, I don’t believe in anything, but I respect you. And I’m like, okay, that’s, you can if you want, I don’t mind, but what I realize is that people have so much respect for you, whatever you believe in, all right? And whatever work you have, believe in your work.
And why I say jump is because literally, this is my last analogy before I go. When everyone can swim here, I assume you can swim. If you can’t, then listen up carefully. Someone says, black people, wow. We swam once upon a time. Anyway. Yeah, we did, once upon a time. No more swimming.
So, I always have this analogy of jumping, climbing up a diving board and jumping down into the water, right? It is scary. But if you can’t swim, then this is what you have to do. You need to spend hours and hours, like I said, by yourself, trying to swim. And start off small, like those little small things that you’re swimming, the inflatable stuff that you’re swimming in. It looks stupid. What’s it called? Inflatable. What’s it called? Inflatable. Inflatable.
I’m Nigerian. And then, that’s my excuse for everything, you know? Then when you steal something, what are you doing? I’m Nigerian. You’re sleeping with two girls. I’m Nigerian. Don’t clap for that. So you don’t clap for my other points, you clap for that. What a crowd. Anyway. Inflatable, yeah? Inflatable. Inflatable. One more time. Inflatable. Yeah, mum.
So the inflatable… So, let’s be serious. Let’s be serious. Let’s be serious. I’ve got four minutes for you. So the inflatable pools, hear me, hear me. It’s going to be deep, okay?
So the inflatable pools, right? You start in those. And you practice. And you will look stupid. A grand man or a grand girl starting, you don’t know how to swim and you’re starting in those. You look stupid. You go, then you move on to like small pools. Shallow, shallow, very shallow. You’re swimming. You look stupid. You look very, very stupid. But this is what I say. This is what I say.
When I started writing scripts, when I started writing, now I write like 30-minute scripts or whatever. When I first started, I started writing like one-minute scenes. Me and Terrell and I was, Terrell used to teach me one-minute scenes, two-minute scenes, and it took time. It took time. It took a lot of time, but not a lot of people are willing to put in the work like that. It takes time. You start off small. Start off very, very small. Then you move on and you progress.
And soon, you jump down. And when you jump down, you realize you get in and it’s a hard hit, but you can swim. You can swim. So whatever work you have or whatever, submit that work in. Whatever idea you have, get it down. Find out what’s inside of you. Be a leader. Don’t be a passenger. Passengers are boring. Be a leader. It’s hard. It’s difficult. But be a leader.
Courage. The ability to do something that frightens one. Semi-colon. Bravery. Enjoy.
