Here is the full transcript of Dr Meenakshi Chaudhary’s talk titled “Persistence is Pivotal” at TEDxIIMRanchi 2022 conference.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
Hi guys, is the josh high still? I’m the last speaker but I guess it’s still not the least. I’ve still got a lot more to share so got your attention here. Right, so… “Don’t lose the grips on the dreams of your life. You must fight just to keep them alive.” These are the lines from one of my favorite songs called “The Eye of the Tiger,” a soundtrack of one of my favorite films, Rocky. Something that I can relate to in my life. Because if there is one word to describe me, I’m a fighter.
Family Background
It is in my genes. I am my parents. So let me start from the very beginning. My father, Colonel B.R. Chaudhary, was the first ever army officer from his village. A very hardworking man and a simple kind woman with endless resilience defines my mother, Nirmala Chaudhary.
From having been born in an army hospital to having spent my childhood in cantonments to studying in army schools, the army life was a part and parcel of the springtime of my life. In fact, when I was born, my dad was posted in Leh at the time, barely managed to reach the hospital just in time for my birth, because he wouldn’t miss that for the world. How he managed is another story altogether.
Childhood and Education
So I’ve always been a very good student, you know, good in studies, good in academic studies, sports, extracurriculars. I represented my state in swimming and in badminton. And like every other army kid, I was disciplined.
So yes, I was that kid that every auntie in your neighborhood would compare their kid with. You know, like Sharma ji ka beta, I was that. However, contrary to the usual belief that army kids usually lose out on a lot of childhood fun, I’ve actually enjoyed every bit of it, every transfer that we’ve had, and every new person that I met along the way.
For me, fun meant learning and exploring new things. And thanks to my army background, I got oceans of opportunities to do that. So my parents always emphasized and made sure that we were given the best education in and out of home, the right values, and made sure that we were always connected to our roots.
That is the reason every summer vacation was spent in my village, Haripur, Punjab, where my brother Tanveer and I would water the fields, play around in the tubers, and even make cow dung cakes, something that my friends back in the city never understood and could relate to.
So from having, you know, getting transferred to a new place every two years, to making friends wherever I went, to the calmness, ruggedness, and the freshness of the village life, all of these places and the memories became a pit stop in that fun journey of my life.
Adaptability and Dreams
And I learned to adapt. Something that actually helped me, you know, to be able to straddle the entire gamut of being in the city as well as in the village life very comfortably. Something that I was supposed to face in the near future, which I’ll be talking about.
I’ve always wanted to be a doctor, you know, Dr. Meenakshi Chaudhary. In fact, as a kid, I’ve always had these three things that I wanted to be: doctor, Miss India, and an IAS officer. But let’s be real now. The only way I’m being an IAS is when I play one in the film.
Life’s Challenges
But soon after school, I cleared my BDS exam, which is Bachelors of Dental Surgery and got admission in one of the reputed dental colleges. Life felt like a smooth ride on my way to achieving all of my dreams one by one. But, we all have tossed a coin at least once in our life, guessing whether it’s going to be heads or tails when it lands.
That moment when it is suspended in the air, in that space, flipping and flipping, that is life. The coin lands only when we cease to exist. So the coin of my life was about to flip for the burst.
Personal Loss
That completely turned my life upside down. My father was diagnosed with brain tumor, and despite all of our efforts to cure him, he passed away in January 2018. I was completely shattered because he was everything to me.
You know, I was very, very close to my father. I remember how every annual function, he’d be there cheering the loudest and clapping the loudest whenever my name was announced on stage, be it for sports or extracurriculars. You know, he was my biggest cheerleader, my biggest fan.
Facing Adversity
So, me being good in studies and good in sports, all of that amounted to just one thing on that one day of the year, to see him in the audience being proud of me and cheering for me. So, after losing him, I had no clue what to do. You know, the darkness that came into my life pushed me into an abyss, and I was thinking.
My mother was lost. He was the only earning member of our family, and you know, she cursed herself for not being able to study enough so that she could help us financially. My brother was dealing with his own grief. Everything was going downhill.
Rising from the Ashes
But remember how I mentioned in the beginning that I’m a fighter and I get that from my parents? My mother stepped up then. She started picking up the pieces because she wasn’t going to let herself and her kids go down.
So, here is where I have to tell you this very amazing thing, okay? My mother comes from a background which is as conservative as conservatives can be, okay?
We were protected in how?
A Mother’s Encouragement
So, she comes up to me one day with a newspaper in her hand and points at it and says, “You’re going for this.” I said, “Going for what?” She said, “You’re going for Miss India and you’re going to win it.”
I was shocked. Here is this woman with a very conservative and patriarchal upbringing telling her daughter that she’s going to go for Miss India, that I’m going to go away from my home, stay alone in a big city and make a name and place for myself.
Life Philosophy
It hit me then that if I could deal with the hardest and toughest things that life had to throw at me, I could deal with anything. And that set my philosophy in life, quite a simple one really. That if life throws something that is tough at you, you face it, deal with it and move on. And if it throws something that is beautiful, you embrace it and you move on.
You cannot let whatever happens in life, no matter what, knock you down. Because when life pushes you to the ground, the only way is up.
Pursuing Miss India
So, I applied for Miss India and I would practice walking in heels in the hostel corridors, much to the annoyance of my seniors. I would learn how to pose and smile, you know, looking at all the models in the magazines. I would also learn how to apply makeup, something that I was an amateur at, through online tutorials.
What most people don’t understand is that Miss India contest, like any other competition, transforms your life in a multitude of ways. But it is also physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually draining. But I kept at it and gave it the time, effort and respect that it deserved.
And then, the coin of my life, which is still flipping, flipped for the better this time. I was adjudged as the first runner-up. But I only felt like I had achieved something when I saw my mother make her way through this massive crowd of people, with tears in her eyes, trying to get to me, who had just been crowned as the first runner-up in a coveted Femina Miss India contest.
There were tears of joy, there was happiness and all those unsaid and unspoken emotions that only a parent could feel. You know, that is when I realized the importance and the magnitude of the crown and the title that I had won.
International Achievement
So, I represented my country internationally and was adjudged as the first runner-up there, which is the highest ever placement that India has got in that particular pageant. But I wasn’t happy. You know, everybody said you’d achieved so much, this is a great thing.
But I had wanted to win and I’d done everything that I could. So, while the euphoria of the pageant world continued, I knew it was short-lived.
Exploring New Opportunities
So, I started exploring all the other opportunities that came my way, one of which was the film industry. But little did I know what it entailed. I had no clue how to go about it, what were the necessary connections that I was supposed to make and how to grab the best of opportunities.
I was alone and kind of lost in Mumbai, which is also known as the city of dreams, Maya Nagri, you know, trying to make my way through and trying to find a place for myself and a home for my soul. So, all of this starts with having to pay my own rent and my own expenses.
Struggling in Mumbai
I managed to find one place which was affordable, not that great, but to-do, chal jaayega kaam sort of a place. But I have skipped meals just to be able to save money to pay rent. I have hung out in coffee shops to be able to save the money and, you know, to save the electricity bill.
You know, there is one thing that I have to tell you, that if you want to be an actor, be ready to face humiliation and rejection on a daily basis. I don’t want to get into the details of it, but it is something that if you’re not mentally strong, it is going to break your spirit and you.
Perseverance in Acting
So, I worked very hard and I remember I would be attending a lot of acting workshops. I would go for auditions daily and I would also do modeling to be able to earn something so that I could pay rent. You know, I was doing all of that.
There were days when I would cry my way back home from an audition because all of it would just get so overwhelming sometimes, not having any clue where the city is going to take me. But I kept at it and, you know, I did not give up till the very end.
Determination and Focus
Because I knew one thing, that as long as I am in Mumbai every single day, away from my family, I’m going to make the most of it. So, I would gather the strength every morning and go for the day, no matter how challenging, no matter how frustrating or exhausting it would get. I had to do it for my family, for myself, but most importantly, for that dream of mine that I had seen for myself and I had envisioned as.
Remember how I had mentioned before that during the darkest times of my life, I had to take a year break from my studies. So, while I was modeling and auditioning and taking workshops, I was always determined and I wanted to finish my degree.
Balancing Education and Career
And so, I picked up my books again and started studying. People were often surprised, you know, when I would tell them that I was studying BDS. I guess these were the kind of people who had coined this term, beauty with brains, which in itself is very derogatory in my opinion.
It’s like saying a girl is beautiful. You can’t be intelligent or smart. I mean, I’ve never heard the term handsome with brains for a man. I am just saying, okay.
Unexpected Opportunity
But anyways, while I was juggling with my modeling and studies and auditions, it was during one such workshop that I was paired with a fellow actor who was working in a Telugu film at the time and who actually happened to be from one of the prominent families of the Telugu industry, which I only got to know later on, by the way. Little did I know that my workshop videos would act as my acting audition for the film and pave the way for my first ever debut.
So, impressed by my work, the actor recommended my name to the director and he felt I was a complete fit for the role. And that’s how I got my first ever full-fledged lead role in a film.
Language Barrier
But little did I know what I was going to get into. I did not know, here’s the funny part, I did not know a single word of Telugu. Okay. So, I would learn my lines in Telugu, work hard, try and mug it up as much as I could.
But if there is one thing that my parents had taught me was that never give up. So, there were days when I was juggling with shooting schedules, exams, practicals, early mornings, late nights, all of it would reach to a point where it was so overwhelming for me that I would literally reach a point of breakdown.
The Fighter’s Spirit
But I kept fighting. You know, I did not give up. The fighter in me just somehow kept going.
Because if there is one thing that I know about life, that is, life is that one coin that is going to flip over and over again, irrespective of what you do, what you say, what you try. The only thing that is in control is you.
Cliché as it may be, but what pays off? Persistence and hard work. Be at it. Keep on doing it. Don’t give up. It is tough, but nothing in life ever is easy.
The Power of Choices
Let me tell you that. It is the choices you make. And you can lie to the world, but you cannot lie to yourself.
Every single day, when you put that head on the pillow, and when you are alone, no matter who is next to you, you are alone in your head, and you cannot lie to yourself. And when you are at peace with that head on your pillow, and your conscience is clear, you are successful.
Achieving Dreams with Dignity
I have always wanted to be a Miss India, a dentist, and an actor. And I have achieved a fair bit of it, but I did all of that with dignity, hard work, and honesty. And every single day, when I put my head on the pillow, I am at peace.
But as Robert Frost wrote in one of his poems, which is my favorite, by the way, is that, “The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.” Thank you.
