Here is the full transcript of author Janey Lee Grace’s talk titled “Sobriety Rocks – Who Knew!” at TEDxNorwichED 2019 conference.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
A Question to Ponder
I have a question I’d like you to ask yourself, “Would my life be better physically and emotionally without alcohol?” It’s a question I ask myself regularly. The answer was always, “Hell yes,” but I didn’t really like that answer; I prefer to carry on drinking. So come with me back to 2017 or 2016 or in fact 20 years previous to that.
It’s 3am, I’ve woken up again. The ceiling is spinning. Oh God, how much did I drink? Oh, I had one with lunch and we shared a bottle with dinner, or was it two?
Why can’t I stop drinking? I’m going to make a deal with God. “Lord, if you’re listening, please, I’ve got such a busy day tomorrow. Please let me avoid a hangover.”
And I swear, I’ll never touch a drop ever again. It’s 6pm the following day and a much chirpier voice is in my ear. “Oh, the sun’s over the yard arm. Time for a sneaky glass of Sauvignon Blanc.”
The Wine Witch
“It’s wine o’clock. You’re not drinking. What are you talking about you’re not drinking? Of course you’re drinking.”
“Sober, anagram of boars. You’ve had such a busy day. You deserve it. It’s your treat.”
“Alcohol is good for you. I’ve read it in the press. It’s good for your heart, in moderation. So just have one, make it a large.”
The first voice that you heard was my conscience. The second was the voice of the wine witch. The beast. The addictive voice in my head.
Rational Recovery
You see, I had an addictive voice in my head. And a former US social worker, Jack Trimpe, drank heavily for 20 years. And he refused to believe that he was powerless against alcohol. He founded Rational Recovery and he wrote a book of the same name.
And he identified that some people have this addictive voice. But if we can recognise it, we can assume full responsibility for our recovery. I also did not have an off switch when it came to alcohol. I absolutely could not stop.
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
Finally, though, it was time. And I decided to try dry January 2018, fully expecting to start again in February. But in fact, I never looked back. A whole new world opened up to me.
And I discovered, to quote the most perfect book title by author Catherine Gray, “The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober.” Just to be clear, I didn’t ever have a rock-bottom moment. I didn’t fall from grace. I didn’t drive under influence.
I didn’t miss a day off work. I didn’t actually have a hangover. So God kept his side of the bargain. I was what’s known as high-functioning. High-bottomed. Oh, how I wish. I tried all kinds of therapies over the years. I had kinesiology and reflexology.
Normalizing Alcohol
I had aromatherapy and craniosacral therapy. I saw therapists for EFT and TFT and NLP, ABC. I saw the GP. And sometimes I would ask, “Can you help me? I’m worried I’m drinking too much.”
And the answer was always, “A few glasses of wine a night? Sounds pretty normal to me.” Because alcohol is normalized in our society. It is everywhere. It is ingrained. It’s the social glue that sticks everything together. From baby showers, christenings, freshers’ week, weddings, parties, funerals, barbecues, celebrations, commiserations, and everything in between.
And you see, we’ve been brainwashed into thinking that there are just two types of drinkers. There are those at rock bottom, alcohol-dependent. And there’s everybody else, happy, social drinkers, who are just occasionally a bit lightweight and can’t hold their beer. In fact, the reality is very different.
Shades of Gray Drinking
It’s a spectrum. I would highly recommend you get off the booze elevator before it hits rock bottom. In her excellent TED talk, Jolene Park identified gray areas of drinking. I reckon there’s at least 50 shades of gray.
And definitely not sexy. And you know, when people do decide to quit the booze, so often they’re ridiculed, sober-shamed, instead of being congratulated for the sober heroes that they really, really are. You see, there’s something wrong with alcohol. Alcohol is the only drug that we have to justify not taking.
The Harmful Effects of Alcohol
And you know, here’s just a few little statistics for you. According to Alcohol Change UK, alcohol is linked to 200 illnesses, including seven different types of cancer. Liver disease is on the increase with 29,000 people suffering. And the cost to the NHS is 3.5 billion pounds a year.
The Global Commission on Drugs Policy found that when you take into account not just harm to the individual, but in fact harm to others, family breakdown, crime, impact on the economy, impact on the health service, alcohol comes out top, the number one most harmful drug. But I can already hear you thinking, “But that’s not me. I don’t cause anybody any harm.” But a recent life search survey found that 24 million people in the UK admit that they self-medicate, using alcohol to drink daily to ease their stress and their anxiety.
And that’s ironic really, because alcohol is a depressant. It doesn’t cause mental health issues, but it surely exacerbates them. There is good news. The tide is slowly turning and we’re starting to call time on drinking in the UK.
Many millennials are choosing not to drink at all. We have the rise of the sober curious and the mindful drinking movement. And this is borne out by the huge rise in popularity in low alcohol and alcohol-free drinks brought to us by the big players as well as the artisan brands and breweries. And you know, people who do decide to give up drinking find some incredible benefits.
The Benefits of Sobriety
People report better sleep, better sex, regulated weight.