Read the full transcript of Award-winning concierge Sarah Dandashy’s talk titled “The Secret to Making Someone Feel Special” at TEDxDavenport 2025 conference.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
A Career in Hospitality
I’ve spent a career on the front lines of hospitality. Fifteen of those years as a hotel concierge. That’s 5,475 days in a hotel lobby. Yeah, I counted. And trust me, you see it all.
You see things that make your jaw drop. You see things that make your heart melt and everything in between. And you’re there for it all. You’re there for the birthdays. You’re there for the newlyweds.
You’re there in the middle of the night when the guest loses their wallet or when they need a taxi and they need it now. It’s like being a combination of Google, Amazon Prime, Siri, a fortune teller, and a touch of Mary Poppins. I’ll give you an example. A child leaves their teddy bear at a hotel, and the mother calls the hotel frantic. They’re at the airport, the plane is about to leave, and their child is in tears.
And that teddy bear, the one that she has had since she was born, the one that she’s never spent a night without, might be gone forever. Now before you ask, yes, this actually happened. The concierge that mother calls and speaks to is a dear friend and colleague of mine. And when she speaks to her, she lets her know that she’ll do everything humanly possible to find that teddy bear. And when she hangs up, she does.
The Teddy Bear Adventure
She calls lost and found and discovers that the teddy bear miraculously is there. Now, a quick text to the mother to let her know, and then in most other instances, that teddy bear would just be packed up and FedExed out the next day.
But returning a lost and found item is not the stuff that dreams are made of. That concierge takes the teddy bear on an adventure. She takes pictures of it lounging by the pool, in the spa, having lunch at that hard to get reservation at the restaurant.
And then she emails those photos so that they’re there when the family lands and before she sends the bear back, intact the next day. Now what makes a more lasting impression? The fact that the teddy bear was returned or an unexpected adventure? Anyone can return a lost and found item, but it takes creativity and care to do something unexpected, to turn what could have been a potential disaster into a delightful story about not doing what’s expected, but breaking the pattern to create something unforgettable.
We often think that in order to make someone feel valued, appreciated or loved, that we fall into the same trap of equating special with expensive or extravagant. And then we end up exhausting ourselves and emptying our wallets, trying to follow the traditional script of designer gifts, expensive dinners, exclusive experiences. Now I am not knocking designer gifts. We all love them, right? But in fifteen years of being a Hotel Concierge, it made me realize that that isn’t necessarily what matters. The extraordinary is lying in plain sight and we all have the power to transform ordinary interactions into extraordinary moments.
It’s about paying attention, disrupting expectations that turns the ordinary into the unforgettable. Now let’s take a moment to look at the hospitality industry today. Airbnb and budget airlines have made travel more accessible than ever before. And yet, on the other side of the spectrum, it’s gone completely in the other direction. We are living in an era of unprecedented luxury.
The State of Hospitality
Five-star hotels are offering amenities that couldn’t even have been imagined ten years ago. More than just personal butlers, there’s pillow menus, ice hotels, underwater restaurants, and yet despite all of this extravagance, that’s not what matters most. A study by J.D. Power found that while overall hotel guest satisfaction has increased, the element most critical are those connected to staff service and the check-in and check-out experience, the human element of hospitality.
A similar study by Deloitte found that 59% of hotel guests felt that their experience would actually be better if hotel staff were able to go above and beyond their defined roles. These statistics tell us that all the luxury in the world can’t replace genuine human connection and thoughtfulness. That’s a lesson the hospitality industry has learned, but we haven’t. We’ve become so focused on creating these Instagram-worthy moments that we’ve lost sight of what really matters. And that’s a problem because we end up perpetuating this cycle where we feel the pressure to create these grand gestures at the expense of more meaningful, personal, thoughtful interactions.
And it’s easy to see how this happens. I mean, social media is bombarding us on a daily basis of how we need to go bigger, better, more expensive. And we end up exhausting ourselves trying to create these picture-perfect moments, all the while missing the very connection we’re trying to foster. So how do we shift the mindset? How do we create truly special moments?
Three Principles for Creating Special Moments
The key lies in three simple principles. First, and probably the most important, knowing how and when to disrupt the routine. Look for opportunities to break up someone’s daily routine, the grind. Even a simple gesture can be powerful, not just because it’s unexpected, but because it shows that you’re paying attention. Secondly, pay attention.
The most thoughtful moments come from noticing and remembering the small things. That’s the key. That’s the kind of investment that you need to make, not money, but time and focus necessary to notice the likes, the dislikes, the pet peeves, even the guilty pleasures of the other person. Now this isn’t a Hallmark moment. Yes, those cards are lovely and maybe you should get a card, especially if you’re the type of person that doesn’t normally get one.
But it’s about the details. You have to see the pattern in order to know how and when to disrupt it. And then third, my favorite, be creative. Adding a touch of creativity and thoughtfulness, you can create extraordinary moments of joy and connection. Now, it’s not necessarily about the action.
It’s about the thought. And I’m not saying it’s the thought that counts, but thought does count. And make sure that your gesture comes from a place of true understanding and care. Now I’ll share another story with you. One that another concierge colleague had shared with me about that really drove home how a simple gesture can really disrupt expectations and create delight.
The Executive and the Therapy Dog
So she had a long-term guest staying with her, a high-level executive, and he had been away from home for months working on a big project. And although he was normally really pleasant and nice, recently he just had seemed more disconnected. One day she overheard him telling a colleague how much he missed his dog back home and this gave her an idea. The next day, instead of having his usual wake-up call, she arranged for a local therapy dog to come to his room, with his permission, of course. The transformation was immediate and profound.
The moment he opened up the door, his face lit up and he was like a changed man. And then when he would kneel down to pet the dog, it was like the stress visibly melted off of him. He was like a different person from that day on. He was more relaxed, more engaged and so incredibly appreciative of that simple act of thoughtfulness. It was a moment that cost literally nothing, but it created a moment of connection and a memory that no amount of luxury upgrades could have matched.
It told him that she saw him not just as a guest, but as a person. So I want to take a moment to challenge you all to rethink how you’re making people feel special. This week, choose a person in your life, be it a friend, family member, co-worker, maybe even a stranger you see on a regular basis that doesn’t realize that you see them, and do something unexpected to brighten up their day. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive. It just needs to be about them.
The Power of Thoughtful Gestures
The goal is not to impress, it’s to connect. By disrupting the ordinary with just a touch of imagination and playfulness, you have the ability to create extraordinary moments of joy and connection. Making someone feel special isn’t about the grand gesture and the big price tags. It’s about the small personal thoughtful moments that come from noticing their patterns, knowing who they are and knowing how to surprise them. That is how you make someone feel special.
