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Home » How I Overcame Decision Paralysis: Mary Steffel (Transcript)

How I Overcame Decision Paralysis: Mary Steffel (Transcript)

Here is the full transcript and summary of Mary Steffel’s talk titled “How I Overcame Decision Paralysis” at TEDxNortheasternU conference.

Listen to the audio version here:

TRANSCRIPT:

Back when I was studying to be a decision scientist, I had the opportunity to learn from someone who changed the way I approached difficult decisions, Cinderella. That’s me playing Cinderella in a university production of Into the Woods. You see, in this version of the fairy tale, Cinderella embodies what it’s like to be immobilized by indecision.

Cinderella is torn as to whether or not she wants to pursue a life with the prince. And so night after night, she attends the ball, but she runs away before the prince can ever learn who she really is. Eventually, the prince catches on to this, and in a grand romantic gesture of sorts, he spreads thick, sticky tar all over the steps of the palace to prevent her from running away.

This time, when Cinderella flees, her golden slippers get stuck in the tar, her feet are glued to the ground, and she’s confronted with how her indecision is literally keeping her from moving forward.

What I love about this moment is how it so beautifully captures what it’s like to be immobilized by indecision. As a professor of marketing here at Northeastern University, I study how people make difficult decisions. And as a fellow for the White House Social and Behavioral Sciences team in 2016, and in my ongoing work with the Office of Evaluation Sciences at the General Services Administration, I’ve had the opportunity to apply these insights to helping our government better support citizens in navigating decisions about the benefits our government provides.

What I hope to share with you today is what these experiences have taught me about how to overcome decision paralysis in our own lives, and how to help others do the same. Despite knowing a thing or two about decision making, I sometimes find myself immobilized by indecision as well. I’ve grappled with small decisions, like what to order for dinner. I’ve also struggled with bigger decisions, like where to go to college, what to study, or what to do with my life.

I still remember the first time I walked into a Teavana looking to buy some tea. Teavana was paradise for a tea lover. There were these rows upon rows of beautiful canisters, each one had a fantastic name, like Lavender Dreams or Peach Tranquility. I spent what seemed like hours in there, sorting through all the options, tasting all the different samples, and taking in the aroma of all the different flavors. But Teavana was hell for someone who was struggling to make a decision. I was so overwhelmed that I left without buying anything.

You see, our instinct when confronted with difficult choices is often not to choose anything at all. And while forgoing some tea may not seem like that big of a deal, it can be really costly when it leads us to put off or avoid more important decisions for which choosing something is better than nothing.

The cost of indecision is perhaps best epitomized by the paradox of Buridan’s ass. In this story, a hungry donkey is placed between two equally appealing bales of hay. The donkey can’t decide which of the bales to eat first, and so he starves to death while pondering the decision.

The moral of the story is that sometimes it’s better to choose something than to choose nothing. Only an ass would do otherwise. Well, if that’s true, then I confess, I’ve been a bit of an ass myself sometimes. I’ve paid a price for my indecision, but I suspect I’m not the only one who has. If any of these experiences sound familiar to you, raise your hand and keep it raised. How many of you, like me, found yourselves shopping at some point, only to leave the store without buying anything?

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How many of you, like me, might have been spending hours researching flights, only to find that the flight that you want has now gone up in price or is no longer available? How many of you, like me, had a coupon or a gift card that you weren’t really sure how to spend, only to find that now it’s expired or disappeared in the bottom of a drawer somewhere? In looking around this room, I see that most all of us, at some time or another, have paid a price for our indecision.

Whether that be time, money, opportunities, or even our happiness. But is walking away empty-handed really our only alternative to making a difficult decision? One thing I learned from Cinderella is perhaps there’s a better option. While sitting there, stuck on the steps of the palace, Cinderella had a realization. She didn’t have to choose. She could delegate her decision to someone else. She did this by leaving the prince a clue to her identity, in this case, a golden slipper, and making it the prince’s responsibility to make the next move.

I took a tip from Cinderella the next time I went back to Teavana. This time, instead of getting overwhelmed by all of the options, I delegated my choice to a salesperson. I asked him which of the options he would recommend, and I told him which ones I was considering, and I purchased what he chose. This way, I walked away with what had become some of my favorite teas of all time.

In fact, this strategy worked so well for me that I use it all the time now. In fact, I even outsourced what to call this talk. This made me wonder, can giving people the option to delegate enable them to overcome decision paralysis in their own lives?

My collaborator, Eleanor Williams, and I explored this question in an experiment that was inspired by my experience at Teavana. In this study, we asked participants to imagine that they were shopping for tea.