Here is the full transcript of Tabitha Sindani’s talk titled “How Unemployment Became The Ruby In My Life” at TEDxRuhrUniversityBochum conference.
In this TEDx talk, Tabitha Sindani shares her journey through unexpected unemployment and how it led to significant personal growth and opportunities. She begins by expressing the stark contrast between her high-level international engagements and her jobless reality, emphasizing the unpredictability of life. Tabitha reflects on three key lessons: the intrinsic nature of value and identity, the presence of opportunities in one’s current situation, and the joy found in serving others.
She recounts how her unemployment drove her to start a mentorship program for high school girls, which unexpectedly opened doors to prestigious opportunities like the African Union Commission job and scholarships. Tabitha’s story is intertwined with her mother’s, who, despite limited education, became a champion for others’ education, inspiring Tabitha’s service-oriented mindset.
She concludes by advocating for embracing life’s unexpected turns, finding intrinsic value, and seizing opportunities present in one’s current situation. Tabitha’s message is one of hope and empowerment, emphasizing the transformative power of adversity into valuable life lessons.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
Embracing Life’s Unpredictability
I’m the kind of person who loves to have all my ducks in a row. Being a type-A personality, I function well with vision boards and plans. In fact, I am overly obsessed with timelines. But over the years, it has taken me quite a long time to understand a very basic, simple fact: life is not linear.
And it takes many twisted turns. Despite having all my visions, plans, and timelines, things don’t always go as planned. So instead of having all my ducks in a row, all I seem to be having are squirrels at a rave. And that’s just the reality. And this is the story of my life.
I always wanted to become a medical doctor when I was growing up. But that dream was long cut short when I terribly failed much in high school. It was just never my thing. And I was quite devastated that I would never become a doctor.
A New Path Unfolds
And I remember my father told me, “Tabitha, you can become anything you want to be, and you can have an alternative field, but still excel in it.” When I failed math, it meant I would never make it to the university to study medicine. But also, I did not attain the overall cutoff point to be admitted to the university under government sponsorship, which meant I had to go through a private program. And so my father was committed.
He took me to the university under private sponsorship to study business. And I remember, after the university, I was very excited. And the first week, the business school chairperson said, “There’s a fantastic scholarship program for anyone who would get a first-class degree and would be sponsored for a master’s, a Ph.D., and a job.” I told myself, “Wow, that’s awesome. I’m in for it.”
“Just get a first class of about 70 points and then get a master’s, a Ph.D. And on top of that, be given a job as a graduate teaching assistant.” I was excited for that.
Goals and Dreams
So I resolved that day that I would work hard, get a first class, and get the three things that they had promised. In fact, to make the goal more elaborate, I came up with five goals. Number one, get a first-class honors at 22. Number two, have a master’s at 24. Number three, have a Ph.D. and a job at 27. Number four, get married in a grand white wedding at 28. And number five, have my first baby at 30. That was my plan.
So, throughout the university, I worked hard, burning the midnight oil like every student would do. And as they say, working hard pays off. It did. I graduated at 22, top of my class with a first-class honors and the first female graduate of the entire university. “Wow. Fast duck down. Of course, I knew the rest would do what? Would follow.”
Just like ducks in a row, my life was sorted. Then the unexpected began happening. That scholarship that I had been promised to get a master’s, a Ph.D., and a job was scrapped off indefinitely. “Why had I just worked so hard?” I was devastated. Then I began looking for jobs. I never landed up anything serious. I got internships and voluntary positions, and my life was just stuck.
But the second year after the university, something amazing happened. I got an opportunity to go to Norway on an exchange program, and it was my first time on a plane. I can remember the takeoff and the landing. “Oh, what a beautiful feeling.” I know you guys know how it feels to be on the plane for the first time, and it’s taking off and the landing. It’s like you’re feeling everything inside is getting out.
So I went to Norway for six months on an exchange program and came back home. When my contract ended, I had to come back to Kenya. So I lived in Nairobi, looked for jobs, and applied for hundreds of jobs. Nothing was coming forth. I couldn’t pay rent anymore.
Returning Home
I couldn’t keep myself in the city. One thing was certain: I had to go back home to live with my parents in the village. So the day came, I packed all my things, went on the bus, an eight-hour ride, entered a remote rural village at home.
Before leaving Nairobi, I applied for so many jobs. Hundreds. Nothing was coming forth. I had spoken to so many people within my network. They all had one response in common: “When we hear of something, we’ll let you know.” So I went home to the village. Along the way, throughout the journey, I was crying. I felt so defeated.
Leaving the city, where there are so many opportunities, and going into a very remote rural village in Western Kenya, where there are not as plenty, I had come to the very end of myself.
I felt failed. I stayed in the village.
Life in the Village
My life in the village began. Now, life in the village is amazing, beautiful in many ways. You know, you’ll be going to the farm like I’m doing, but my mother doesn’t think I’m really a good person on the farm because all I do is take pictures. So she prefers me to stay home, and that was one of those days I had gone to take pictures.
So life in the village is amazing. You’ll be talking to my friend over the fence, as you can see, going to the shop. It’s vibrant. It’s communal. It’s not like here where I live; I could stay in my flat for months without seeing my neighbor or without them seeing me. So life in the village is amazing, but also it has its own predicaments and twists. Because life is done communally, everybody knows what’s going on in your life. Now, that’s not very interesting.
So people soon figured out that I was jobless, and they were surprised. Why was I jobless when I had lived abroad, having a university education? You see, society equates university education to employment, and anything contrary to that is regarded as failure. So there I was, a failure, jobless, not just for a month or two, but for a whole year.
Finding Hope Amid Challenges
The society’s expectations, coupled with mine, weighed me down daily. And you know, I could hear comments like, “But why can’t she get married? Surely a job is not all that there is to be had.” It’s as if getting married is an equivalent of having a job or looking for one.
But during that time, also good things happened. At one point, I was appointed as a rapporteur for the African Union Commission Youth Summit in the Gambia. At another time, I went for training in South Africa. And another time, I was admitted to the Young African Leaders Initiative leadership program in the East and Central Africa region.
Those things acted as a breath of fresh air. But again, it was so startling. On one side, I’m flying out to a very high-level meeting, but on the other side, I’m coming back to the same depressed, jobless state I’ve been in. The contrast was so startling.
Then one day, I had been thinking and reflecting upon my prolonged season of unemployment. I learned three things that changed my life forever. And I want to share those things with you today. The first thing I learned is that value and identity are intrinsic.
You see, the problem was not me not having a job. The problem was, where was my identity? The problem was, where was my value placed as far as I had been jobless was concerned? The problem was me.
Society, again, has taught us to place our value in titles of the organizations we work for, so that as soon as you’ve introduced yourself, it’s followed by, “My name is so-and-so, and I work for so-and-so,” or “My name is so-and-so, and I’m the founder of this and that.” But what happens when that job is stripped off? What happens when you’re no longer attached to an institution that gives you prestige and value? Then I realized the value is inside of me.
Finding Inner Strength
Surely, I had a set of skills and knowledge, passions, and a peculiar personality that not only made me different, but could not be taken away from me, whether I had a job or not, whether I lived in the city or in the rural, whether I moved from one country to another. In fact, it is what I carried from one job to another. It stayed with me. No one could ever take that away from me, and that is something that I realized I can work with.
That’s the time I sat down, I crafted a mentorship program for high school students called “What’s Next?,” and my focus was to look to empower young girls in secondary schools who are facing a myriad of challenges in their pursuit of education. And because of the poverty context they’re in, they’re exposed to so many vulnerabilities and things that make them vulnerable. For instance, which also lead to undesired outcomes, for instance, dropping out of school, teenage pregnancies, and during that time there was a massive wave of girls running away from home, running away from school. They couldn’t just see the value of education.
My objective was to tell them why they need to stay in school, even though in my own state people weren’t seeing why education is important. After all, I was jobless for a year, so why are you telling us education is important while it’s not serving you? But I was telling them to look beyond the temporary problems that they’re encountering. That’s why I crafted that mentorship program.
Opportunities in Disguise
The second thing that I learned is that opportunities are right where you’re at. That mentorship program that I began so informally, haphazardly, and very voluntarily, became that little key that opened so many numerous great and imaginable doors that have continued to bear fruit to date. Two years after that season of unemployment, opportunities began to open. The first opportunity, I got a job with the African Union Commission under the Youth Corps program in Ethiopia.
The second thing, I was admitted to the Mandela Washington Fellowship, which is a very prestigious leadership program begun by President Obama in the USA to empower young African leaders.
The third thing that happened, I got a Commonwealth Scholarship Award, which fully funded my Master’s of Science in the UK. All these three things had one thing in common on their selection criteria. The applicant must demonstrate leadership and voluntary community service to the community, which I was already doing in that mentorship program.
I was giving back to my community already. That’s why those opportunities opened, and it wouldn’t have happened had I not been in that season of unemployment, which now pushed me out of my comfort zone to start up that program, which now opened those opportunities. That’s why I firmly believe opportunities can be created right where you’re at, not farther, not something external. They’re right there with you.
The Joy of Serving Others
The third thing I learned is that greater joy lies in the greater purpose of serving others. And this is a story I have been inspired by a woman whom I know from my village, and I will share her story with you today. Her name is Esther. She’s 68 years old. Born and raised in a polygamous family, Esther’s father did not prioritize education for girls, because girls were considered as temporary members of the family, who would be soon married off and bring dowry to the family in the form of cattle.
So Esther really struggled to get an education. She had a constrained childhood. Now, even at some point, she would sneak in and out of school and come back in, sneak out and come back in, and life was unbearable.
At some point, she volunteered to cook for teachers so that it could be substituted as a tuition fee. But it became unbearable, and she couldn’t do that anymore. So Esther’s father was very clear: “You need to get married because I need dowry.” So Esther, 16 years old, at grade three, with very limited literacy, dropped out of school and got married.
A Mother’s Influence
Esther is my mother, and she is my hero. Despite my mother’s limited literacy, she’s become a champion for education. Together with my father, they have been guardians to hundreds of orphans and children in my community. To my mother, it didn’t really matter who gets the opportunity.
What mattered most was that someone else has been given an opportunity she was denied. That is what motivated me to start living for others, doing things for others. Ken Robinson said, “What you do for yourself dies with you when you leave this world. But what you do for others lives on forever.”
Today, my mother never became the doctor she wanted to become, but I am becoming a doctor of philosophy. A good heart and a good mind are a formidable combination. But added to that, a literate tongue and a literate pen, that is something very special. I have been given something special.
Embracing Life’s Unpredictability
I have been given education. With it, I will use it to empower others. And so, to sum it up, do I have all my ducks in a row? No. Has everything been achieved within the timeline I wanted it to be achieved? Absolutely not. But I have learned to embrace the unexpected. I have learned to smell the roses along the way and let life unfold.
If we remember that value is intrinsic, opportunities are right where you’re at, and there’s a greater joy in serving others, we can embrace the unexpected. And for me personally, a strong faith in God and believing that my life and hope is anchored in Him has made me embrace every unexpected outcome, knowing that even the difficult season, in the end, it works for my good. To me, it was unemployment. For you, it can be something else.