Read the full transcript of technology enthusiast Eva Kirchhofer’s talk titled “Running Over People As Hidden Key To Success?” at TEDxLinz 2024 conference.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
The Hidden Key to Success
EVA KIRCHHOFER: Have you ever wondered if running over others is the hidden key to success? Now, it might surprise you, but bulldozing through people is neither socially acceptable nor something we’d consider decent human behavior. Now, I don’t expect that that will ever change. That said, something rather peculiar has happened in my life that caused me to recalibrate my thinking about this statement.
And with that in mind, I will now tell you a story about defying norms, hopefully to inspire you, igniting a spark that encourages you to dare to break away from what’s expected and the conventional rules society lays out for us.
Early Days of Dance
Let me take you back to where this story, my story began, in a place that seemed familiar and safe. Growing up, I found solace and expression in dance. Classical ballet was my first love, shaping my childhood in a way that still lingers with me today.
I remember the feeling of lacing up my ballet shoes or the sound my tutu made when turning. Every movement was soft and deliberate. It was about grace, delicate discipline, where elegance was both fragile but steady. “To me, it felt like speaking a language you don’t have to raise your voice for.”
And I was striving to become fluent. Through puberty, I doubled intensities, cheerleading, and a bit of hip hop because I felt rebellious. But for sure, my mindset, lifestyle, and big parts of my identity were influenced by dance.
The Unexpected Turn
Then, something utterly unexpected and unbidden happened. When I was 19 years old, I lost a bet.
A bet that made me join an American football team. Now let me clarify, it was a female American tackle football team with helmets, shoulder pads, jerseys, all of it.
Now you probably want me to tell you more about this bet, and I would love to. Truth is, I can’t even remember it, which makes telling the story all the more amusing. Obviously, it had to be of very high significance. Now what I do remember is, I had to join a football tryout, meaning I only had to go there once, which I did. I went there with my dancer’s mindset.
The Transformation Begins
A bit opposed, but honoring my debts. You must know, back then, I was a rather shy person. Never speaking my opinion. Dancing around, you might say. Tiptoeing and hoping to never say something wrong. Staying silent. Or even smiling when being offended. Hoping that people can’t read the shame or pain in my face. Always graceful. Like a dancer.
During this first tryout, I felt uncomfortable, weak, and ashamed of myself. Not because I was a beginner, or due to the sport itself. I was ashamed because I discovered how comfortable I had been all this time with not being my authentic self. I had convinced myself that hiding behind my existing belief systems and socially accepted norms, I would become happy. I would become successful.
The Football Revolution
Playing American football suddenly changed my whole perception of life. This game makes you run over people. Literally. You need to stand your ground. Face people who want to force you out of position and who want you to fail. Smiling or stepping aside gracefully won’t stop them from bringing you to ground, making sure you lose.
It confronted me with all my personal barriers. And realizing this sparked a certainty that I had just discovered the hidden key for me to become a better version of myself. Saying that I ended up liking the tryout would be an understatement. I loved every bit of it. Especially what it taught my mind.
The whole play teaches you to always get up again, brush off the dirt, and get back into the game. And it gave me a feeling of empowerment I had never known before. And you might wonder how so.
Finding My Shield
American football was more to me than just a game. It was a storm of energy and emotion. The moment my cleats would hit the turf, everything else faded. The helmet wasn’t just for protection. It was my shield. The hard shell cradling my thoughts, narrowing my vision to the game ahead. With every catch, every play being a battle, and each moment of sweat, grit, adrenaline, pulsing through me, driving me forward, chasing a victory that felt like a loud and living thing.
Facing Resistance
Now you’ve guessed it. I turned up for a second practice. And then a third. And I continued to do so. Until I met some resistance. Not from my football team, but from my cheerleading friends.
With the weeks passing by, it got obvious that this wasn’t just a crazy phase of mine, but that I had wholeheartedly dived into a new sport. Some of my cheergirls were understanding. Others not so much. But their message was clear. You cannot do both. You cannot cheer at the sideline while playing on the field at the same time.
This decision had me all over the place. There is lots of prejudice around girls and women in so-called men’s sports. About your body, your personality, your sexuality, your femininity. Hardly ever are you perceived as charming or elegant.
The Journey Forward
Yet, in the end, I decided to become an American football player. But please know that following through did not come easy. I simply decided over and over again for the uncomfortable.
Fast forward to the age of 22. I received a scholarship, moved to the States, and started co-ed tackle football, meaning girls and boys mixed. And I always joke around that leaving the field I looked like a smurf with blue bruises all over the place. But I embraced it. With every great catch, every touchdown, every play that helped the team, I got to see more of what I as a person could achieve.
Corporate Playground
I saw how my own limitations had kept me from reaching for more. And I got rid of my old barriers one after another. Nowadays, I’m retired. I’m not playing on the field anymore. Nowadays, you will find me on the playground of many grown-ups in corporate.
At the age of 25, I started a company. And just like in sports, I found myself in the male-dominated fields of automotive and aerospace. Yes, it was intimidating. Maybe some of you can relate, but in some of the meetings, my heart was pounding faster than it had ever done on the field.
And I will be honest with you. Being a young woman, again, placed me in front of walls. But guess what? I’m now 29, still young, but also still here. I took the lessons from the field and implemented them into my daily work, my methodologies, and even my personality.
Life Lessons
That it’s okay to be afraid of falling, being hurt due to falling, but the importance of getting up after every hit, maybe taking a second to catch your breath, but never giving up. I know what discipline and hard work can do, and I understand the relevance of surrounding yourself with the right people, working towards a goal together, standing up, being fierce, looking into someone’s eyes even when being belittled, and upholding your opinion, assuming less and avoiding prejudgment, especially when it comes to the personal lives of others, asking more insightful questions to make people feel included.
Ironically, I learned all of this by running over people. And if all of this doesn’t work out, because, you know, life happens, I come back to my dancing skills, tiptoeing through unknown waters, hoping to not step on any toes, knowing that everything we learn while playing will give us some sort of help to navigate through life.
The Power of Growth
Have you ever contemplated that by getting out of your comfort zone, you still get to keep your comfort zone? What I mean by that is getting out of your comfort zone simply enlarges your zone. Of course, spending time in it will make it more comfortable, but let me be very clear. Me transitioning into an American football player did not erase my past nor my identity. It simply added more to whom I was as a person.
I assume some of you have the urge to grow or to change. So I’ll ask you, what would it be worth it to you? What is it worth to you? A little bit of uncertainty, being derided, eventual failure.
Now, let me put that into context to close. So many of us are afraid of disrupting the status quo and breaking conformity. What would the world be like if we defied norms and our own beliefs with a brazen spirit, fearlessly asserting our authentic self? To me, that does sound like a beautiful world. A world in which you will define if running over others will make you successful or not. A world in which you will create new paradigms of success. It might just lead to your next touchdown and help you win the play of life.
