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Select The Right Relationship by Alexandra Redcay (Full Transcript)

Alexandra Redcay

Full text of Select The Right Relationship by Alexandra Redcay at TEDxUpperEastSide conference.

Listen to the MP3 Audio here: MP3 – Select the right relationship by Alexandra Redcay at TEDxUpperEastSide

TRANSCRIPT: 

I want everybody to close their eyes. I want you to imagine being in love. Maybe you have been in love, maybe you hope to be in love.

What was that like? Your heart starts racing, your stomach gets all weird. You call up your best friend and say, “Oh, my gosh, I think I just met the love of my life!” Right? In three weeks. We figured that out so quick. We make these very quick decisions. All of our emotion comes rushing so quickly.

But then, what happens down the road? We realize, “What were we thinking?” Right?

50% of marriages fail. Why? Two of my very good friends called me within a week of each other and told me that their marriage of over 10 years had failed. Now even though everyone else around them knew that they weren’t really making a good decision at the time. You know, my best friend – her mother and I knew over 10 years ago that the guy that she picked was kind of controlling; he was dismissive towards women, and he really wanted a woman that would stay home, cook, clean, and have their child. And my friend was not at all interested in that, she was singing jazz in New York City. She was very happy to have that life, but that’s not what he was interested in.

But somewhere along the way, she fell in love with him, and so she sacrificed for the family, she sacrificed for what she thought was the right decision. And 10 years down the road, she realized she didn’t recognize herself, and then she decided to leave.

A woman asked me the other day – she was complaining, at 40, saying that there was no good man left.