Shift Into a Powerful Mindset at Any Time: David Bayer (Transcript)

The author of ‘Mind Hack’ – David Bayer.

Tim Bilyeu: Welcome to the show!

David Bayer: Thanks for having me.

Tim Bilyeu: Absolutely. So anybody that can go deep on the notion of getting unstuck is a friend of mine so I want to start there.

You’ve talked about how there are three areas of your life that you need to master and how does that help us get unstuck?

David Bayer: Yeah. So I mean there’s three areas of your life that I think are important. One is really mastering your mind, your thought process and that’s nothing new. The real question is you know at what level, how do we become more self-aware of the thoughts that are driving all of our process? But more importantly, how do we change our thinking? How do we change the habitual patterns of thinking that we have become addicted to.

So that then cascades into our emotional responses that we have with life around us and in our perceptions.

So how do we reorient ourselves in a way that is congruent with the life that we actually want to create? Or the business that we want to create? Or the relationships that we want to create? Or the health that we want to have?

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Because we tend to just continue to experience the same experiences over and over and over and over and there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with us in the fact that we lived a sort of Bill Murray ‘Groundhog Day’-type of existence. It’s the way the technology and the operating system of the human being has been designed.

But now we’re entering this really interesting period where I think personal growth is evolving into the next level – where we’re able to utilize the tech to really tap into higher levels of intelligence and become you know what a lot of people refer to as ‘Superhuman’.

Tim Bilyeu: So what gets people stuck in the first place?

David Bayer: There are a number of things that get people stuck. I mean let’s talk about beliefs for a second.

What are our beliefs? Beliefs are the meanings that we gave the experiences of our life, mostly before the age of seven, before a significant portion of the prefrontal cortex is fully formed. We gave meanings to the experiences of our life or other people gave meanings to the experiences that we were having.

I remember distinctly one time – I grew up in Orange County, California and I don’t know why in first grade they had to choose which mission we wanted to build the long, we had Mission San Juan Capistrano.

So I had a paper mache and clay and I’m building Mission San Juan Capistrano in my garage. And my dad walks in and he says, ‘Hey! Let me show you a better way to do that!’ The meaning I gave that experience was – ‘I didn’t know how to do it right!’

And just because of the way technology works what happens is that it starts to shape the lens through which we experience the future experiences of our life.

So the next time you have an experience you know you’re approaching that experience through not knowing how to do it right. And because the brain is a goal achieving machine that’s all we start to notice – is what we’re not doing right. And there is really no recognition of what we’re doing well.

So we get caught in this in the psycho cybernetics loop. If you’re not aware of it there’s really no way out of it. Because in every new experience you’re just going to continue to focus on that which reinforces the belief systems that you established, or the meaning that you gave your experiences early on. And you’re going to ignore everything else.

You become trapped right – in my own thoughts, by your own thoughts, by your own belief systems. Now we’re really understanding that those meanings aren’t just some sort of like ‘marshmallow fluff’ or kind of esoteric concept. They’re actually wired into the neural networks of your brain. Like we can’t do that today, but in the future I would imagine we’d be able to brain scan you and go – “Oh! Those are the neural networks that light up!” — when you feel like ‘There’s not enough time’ or ‘Money’s hard to make’ or ‘You’re not good enough’ or ‘You’re not as far long as you should be!’

And for years, I struggled in the current model of personal growth. Because it’s one of those things where the current model lends itself to self-awareness. When I’m speaking on stages I say you know, ‘How many of you are aware of your limiting beliefs?’ And everybody raises their hands.

And say ‘How many of you have done the events you’ve done the programs, you’ve done the coaching, you’ve done the different protocols, you’ve done the modalities?’ And make no mistake. I’m not criticizing them right. This is an evolution of our own ability to change ourselves. And everybody raises their hand.

They’ve been in the work but now they’re acutely self-aware. And they have no idea what to do about the patterns of thinking that they’re aware of that are causing the stress, anxiety and overwhelm and holding them back!

So that’s where I was at one point. And if there was like a question or a quest I was on. It was how do I go beyond self-awareness and actually begin to change the way I think…

Tim Bilyeu: Yeah. That I think is super powerful! So I want to back up and sort of give people the bricks that you’re laying down here, so that this can all stack on itself.

So basically people get themselves stuck by the beliefs that they decide. And you’ve talked very powerfully about that. I will need to go into that a little bit here. But so they decide to make a belief, often those beliefs are made when they’re young — which I’m super freaked out, by how much our youth impacts us. I do not like that. That is a deep problem that I have with the universe.

But we start forming these beliefs and then we get in these loops, literally, the whole notion of being stuck is that you’ve got these beliefs they are hardwired into your brain – they become easier thoughts to think.

So your brain, when it goes into the default network, is just going to go into these loops and negativity, beliefs – ‘I’m not good enough! I’m not doing it the right way!’ –

David Bayer: Even more evidence for it –

Tim Bilyeu: Right, gain more momentum and so now you’re headed down the wrong path. So now how do we begin to unwind this stuff?

So you say all right, personal development 1.0 does an amazing job of getting people self-awareness, teaches them the tools and tactics to look inward, identify the emotions and all that stuff. How do you now get to the 2.0? What is Personal development 2.0? How does it allow us to leverage that self-awareness to get to the Phenom state?

David Bayer: Yeah. That’s the question right. And I think there’s a lot of roads to the mountaintop. I have the perspective that I have because that was my journey. And I had to start figuring out how to walk in the darkness because that’s kind of what it’s like, meaning when you’re caught in this psycho-cybernetics.

Tim Bilyeu: Can you define psycho-cybernetics?

David Bayer: Yeah. So it’s this idea that what you believe will dictate your thoughts on a moment-by-moment basis. So if you believe that you know – ‘Money is hard to make!’ is a simple example, you’re not going to have ideas or thoughts around money that would be lending to making it easily. So what you believe dictates what you think. You can’t get like an apple from an orange tree.

And what you think you then experience is an emotion. And then that emotion then dictates what actions you do or do not take. And they’re always aligned.

Your beliefs dictate your thoughts, dictate your emotions, dictate your actions which produce your results. And your results when you look at them, then just reinforce the original belief. So we’re caught in that construct.

But the linchpin is the belief system! So the question is how do I actually change what I believe? My beliefs really do dictate my destiny right which is – I’m not the only person suggesting that. The question becomes how do I change my beliefs? And in that it is an inherent challenge because by definition ‘beliefs’ are that which are true for us.

And so then then the question is how do we break out of this? My way of breaking out of it was at one point to understand. And I’ll start to kind of walk you through the structure of it – to understand that there were only two states of emotional beingness, that I could be in at any given point in time.

I could either be in:

• a Powerful state of being states like joy, curiosity, excitement, calm, peace, passion, or,
• a Primal state of being – boredom, anger, frustration, some form of fear

I’m always in one of those two states and I’m never in two states at one time. Those map beautifully to the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system. So in any moment we’re either in fight-or-flight mode or we’re in rest and relaxation.

Through my journey what I realized was the only cause of that switch to be flipped was my own thinking – the meaning that I was giving the experience. The experience itself wasn’t dictating whether I was in a primal state or a powerful state – whether I was in sympathetic fight-or-flight or parasympathetic rest and restoration/ relaxation. It was the meaning I was giving the experience!

And so that meant that all of my personal suffering was within my own control. I needed to start controlling the meaning I was giving the experiences of life.

And so we started doing this work early. I didn’t see this initially in the work that I was doing with myself but as we started building a team of coaches. And as the coaches were coaching people what we consistently saw was that the quality of the thinking that was causing people to move into a primal state, which was really the only problem.

Because when you’re in a powerful state you’re connected: to creativity, to inspiration, to vitality, to energy, health automatically operates. Everything that we want is in a powerful state of being. When you’re in a primal state you don’t have access to any of that.

So when entrepreneurs say to me, for example – ‘What’s the number one thing you would suggest to grow my business?’ I would say ‘Notice, by moment by moment, what state of being you’re in – and use whatever tools or technologies you have access to move back into a powerful state!’ That’s where things just unfold.

And I’m not saying you don’t have to take consistent action and work your ass off to create a success. But you do it from a powerful state. It’s very hard to do it from a primal state.

And what we were seeing consistently was that the quality of thinking that was causing people to move into a primal state. When we really looked at it, worked with them, around it, was that it was 100% of the time, it was untrue!

The only… the thing they were thinking was untrue –

Tim Bilyeu: ‘I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough.

David Bayer: I am not good enough. I’m not smart enough. There’s not enough time!’ Now we can start to talk about the larger metaphysical philosophy behind all of this right.

But I’ll give you a prime example. I was working, personally coaching a 29-year old Egyptian Muslim young man! Super successful! Had his first multi-million dollar business at 19 years old – was running one of the largest companies in this category at 29 years old.

And I’ve been coaching him. And he was out one night in South Beach with a bunch of movers and shakers – Vice-president of the sports team, number one DJ, fashion designers, whatever it was.

He called me the next day and he said, ‘Listen I moved into a primal state last night and I couldn’t get out of it. So I need you to coach me!’ Because I know his vision for his life, now the most important thing for him is to operate from a powerful state of being.

I said ‘Okay. So what happened?’

He said, ‘Well I was there and I noticed that I started having anxiety. So I know I moved into a primal state!’

I said, ‘What’d you do next?’

He said, ‘I took a look at the thinking that was causing it!’

I said, ‘What did you find?’

He said, ‘I was thinking that I don’t belong here!’

I was like, ‘Okay, got it! So then what did you do?

And what we teach, we teach a couple of things but what we teach at the highest level of this work is that you’re able to actually see the thinking that’s not true, is not true. And that’s different from a lot of the other modalities I tried to use, to evolve.

You can change your state, you can reframe something, you can come up with a better story. There are amazing tools out there like breathwork, plant tech! I mean there’s a bunch of stuff out there which we can get into. There’s a bunch of stuff out there right.

But we’re very focused on personal technology, not third-party tools. But explored a lot of them.

So what we believe is the fastest way for you to eradicate a limiting belief is to actually see the limiting belief is untrue. The moment that happens there’s a reorganization in your brain like – you can’t unsee it once you see the lie is a lie right! There’s a huge shift. It reorients you to the experiences of your life. It reorients you to you, to money, to relationships.

So I said to him, ‘So what happened when you saw that you were thinking I don’t belong here?’ And he says. ‘It seemed true, because now I knew it wasn’t!’ Because he bought into what we teach.

And I said. ‘Okay great. So I’ll coach you on it.’

You know with coaching you have a lot of leverage and you don’t always have to use the leverage I’m going to give you as an example of. But I knew he was spiritual; his faith was very important to him.

So I said, ‘Let me ask you a question. You believe in God, don’t you?’

He said, ‘Yes!’

I said, ‘The omnipotent, omniscient kind of all-knowing type of God?’

He goes, ‘Absolutely!’

And I said, ‘Then, how did your God put you in the wrong place on Friday night, where you actually don’t belong?’

And there was a pause and I heard him on the other end of the line.

And he goes, ‘Oh my god!’

And I said, ‘What is it?’

He goes, ‘I belong everywhere I am!’

That’s a fundamental reorientation to the experiences of your life. And what I believe is that’s the deepest, most permanent, fastest way to actually move through the crazy unreality that we’ve created for ourselves, as a result of adopting a bunch of other crazy people’s beliefs, when we were kids to start reconnecting with what’s really true.

So in that moment of seeing that you actually believe, ‘Everywhere! — belong everywhere that you are!’ You move back into a powerful state and now you’re moving forward with your life in a powerful way.

Tim Bilyeu: It’s interesting. So I’ve heard you talk a lot about the idea that basically whatever happens is what is meant to happen. And in terms of the leverage of coaching somebody like me that would never work because I don’t believe in an omniscient God. So I’m like there are just too many things, where the outcome is just bad! It was all bad.

But I think that you’re very right that you can always reframe it and find something good out of it. So you can find something good out of terminal childhood cancer, right. But I would say objectively that one falls into my human suffering bucket. I’m going to say, ‘No! That’s just pretty bad!’ You can learn something from it. No question. You can reframe it. Absolutely, sure.

So how are you able to have a breakthrough with somebody who is an adult? Who, like me, doesn’t believe that everything happens for a reason? Like is it just reframing or are there other tools? Like what do you lean on?

David Bayer: Yeah. So what do you believe in? In other words, in your context, in the container that you’ve created? Because you’re creating it right. Like we don’t know if there’s a God. We know there’s a universe. We’re sort of in it. I mean we call it the universe but that’s just language right. We’re just making up names for shit.

So the question would be now I go back to Einstein you actually said it – ‘The most important decision you make is whether you live in a friendly or hostile universe!’

So that perspective is a belief in how the human beings technology works. In other words, whatever you believe because of the way this whole structure and system works, and how meaning then creates emotion, and neurobiological chemical cascades in your body, right. Like all this stuff, like in that sense without even getting really who you’re creating a reality right.

So then the question would be what do you believe in drives everything. Because you know for me I look at it more as mathematics. I don’t use the word God. But what I believe is that intelligence itself right – unbound intelligence is all there is.

Tim Bilyeu: When you say is all there is, what do you mean? Like the very fabric of space-time?

David Bayer: Sure. Like if you talk about space-time or the ether or the Hindus call it the ‘Akasha’ or the fifth element, or in the beginning there was a thing right.

For me it’s intelligence and it’s mathematical in its expression. So I believe in math. If you go back to like Euclidean geometry, there’s a very spiritual concept around all of these things. And looking at things like Sacred Geometry, and how something is expressing itself. There’s really deep sophisticatedly intelligent patterns, which one could suggest is just chaotic. Like it’s the way that this all unfolded. It had to unfold this way because it was the only way it could all work, were supremely intelligent.

So the first thing I would want to do is understand – ‘What do you believe?’ So that, then we can have this conversation within that context. So what do you believe?

Tim Bilyeu: I believe purely in evolution. So whether that is divinely started or not… Because I will be the first to admit there’s something that I don’t understand and it is something big and it leaves me in awe and wonderment.

And so I am deeply moved by the mysteries of the cosmos – like that shit to me is so beautiful! And so the states of awe or compassion or connectedness or like you don’t have to pitch me on that. I’m in, man. It’s just that I don’t think that what makes this experience beautiful, or even useful is that it is all happening exactly as it was meant to happen.

I feel like, ‘Hey! Something put the expansion of the universe! The expansion of species started and it all has to obey the Laws of Physics!’

Okay, cool! So now operating within that I find so much power in going – ‘How does the mind work? So what is it that I can grab hold of? What are the levers? What are the dials?’

I don’t need them to be divinely inspired and they certainly can be. Either way is fine by me. I don’t have a dog in that fight. It is simply, I just need to know the truth. And so what I have experienced thus far tells me that people in some pretty beautiful ways grapple with spiritual concepts as a way to make sense of everything.

The concepts that have an equal amount of beauty for me come down to biological truths. And so once I understand the biological truth and I can understand the way that synapses exist, and work in the brain, and the way connections are made, the way connections atrophy! So that I can make something atrophy! Sort of, at will! I can make new connections, at will, by doing things, practicing something, repeating it.

And so once I understand those levers then I can start pulling. So a lot of the things you talk about I feel like, ‘Yeah that’s super powerful!’ We agree on the thing without agreeing why the thing exists. That makes sense! So that’s sort of the framework with which I operate.

David Bayer: Yeah! So we’re going back to this question right that I think you’re alluding to this idea where I believe that life is working in infinitely intelligent ways for our greatest growth, our greatest prosperity, our greatest evolution. That at any moment it’s a moment of perfection, right! That, it is supposed to happen, and so… So in that way can we live with acceptance. We can live with surrender. We may not actually see it in the moment how it’s working for us! But we can choose to trust that it is – if we want to.

Tim Bilyeu: The last statement you made I agree with, like totally. You can decide to view this as something that is working for me right! The Tony Robbins question I love this – ‘How the worst thing that ever happened to you is actually the best thing?’

And that reframe – just asking a different question changes everything! So I’m with you on that! It’s a choice!

David Bayer: I think it’s important for us to take a forensics approach to our own lives. To observe deeply, to discover what we believe is true for ourselves! I went so far in my life when I look back over every single experience that I thought was a tragic experience, at the time. Of course, because of cause and effect it’s been the same part of the journey of the things that I cherish most in my life! So we get to create those frames.

What I would suggest is that those frames do become our reality. They do become our experience, because of the way the technology works. I read something recently, and the numbers always change, but they were talking about the part of the brain that pays attention – The Reticular Activating System (RAS). Something like 88% of what’s going on in any given moment you’re not paying attention to! I’m not paying attention to your wrists right now! It’s still in my head! It’s a beautiful wrist!

That which we tend to pay attention to is aligned with what we believe in! So that’s all we get. So….

• if you want you know more happiness,
• if you want more wealth,
• if you want deeper relationships,
• if you want to have more joy,
• if you want to have more fun
• if you want to achieve your full potential and really make an impact in the world

Then what’s really important is to get clear on what that could look like for you and to make sure that what you believe is congruent with that outcome!

Because if what you believe is not congruent with that outcome – just neurophysiologically you’re working against yourself, right.

Tim Bilyeu: Yeah talk to me about the power of clarity. You’re one of the few people that I hear talk about this and I think it’s so fuckin important!

David Bayer: Yeah. So like where to start with that? With the power of clarity! We talked about a number of things…

• The Power of Decision!
• The Power of Clarity!
• The Power of Gratitude!
• The Power of Questions!

Most people know what they don’t want! But they don’t know what they do want! If you say to somebody ‘What do you want?’ They’ll spend maybe 10 seconds sifting around and then start telling you exactly all the stuff that they don’t!

So it’s important…

• To have clarity on what you want to create…
• To have clarity on the type of partner you want to have in your life
• To have clarity on the things that you want to learn

Because I believe that clarity is intimately connected to imagination! So if we’re getting clear on something, we’re beginning to see what that thing is, that we’re getting more clarity on.

And we now know… there was a study done in 2009 at Harvard where they brought in piano players to play the piano. They studied what parts of their brains lit up. Then they just had them imagine playing the piano and the same parts of the brains lit up. There’s a study after study after study that shows that the brain doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality.

So as you’re getting clear around something, you’re actually building neural networks as if that image, or that experience had already occurred!

I mean this is really powerful! Because so often people don’t know how to achieve something and because they don’t know how! They don’t spend a lot of time getting additional clarity, They don’t spend time imagining what the future would look like with that thing. Or being that thing! Or creating that thing! Because they get stuck on the how.

What I would suggest is that if you’re willing to invest time in getting clearer around something or imagining, you build neural networks that represent the memory of an experience that has not happened yet! That’s fucking powerful!

I mean we’re talking about next-level mental technology! Because if you had experienced the thing already, would you know how to do it? So what I would suggest is that it’s that change in the neural networks of your brain that you can achieve through clarity, which is part of this kind of imagination category… I mean Dispenza talks about it with meditation and visualization… Other great teachers talk about it in this way. You’re able to start building neural networks of experience that have not happened yet!

That I believe then gives you access to the thoughts, the ideas, the perceptions! And if you want to talk about like — creating the synchronicities that actually close the gap between that future in the present moment!

Tim Bilyeu: All right! Say that in like a real basic bitch way. Like give it to people and like fucking ground.

David Bayer: Don’t let not knowing how prevent you from spending time getting additional clarity or imagining! Because that’s actually what’s required to happen in order for you to know how!

Tim Bilyeu: Yeah that! That I like — your whole notion of getting! Don’t let the indecision right yeah be borne out of the fact that you’re not sure how this is all going to play out. So, I thought that was so powerful. To start moving and in moving in getting clarity. Some of it will come to you and moving forward some more will come.

David Bayer: But getting more clarity people get paralyzed by not knowing some kind of never attainable omniscience around the topic. And so they stop. They move into indecision. They move into some form of procrastination.

And the way you get more clarity is the same way you drive in fog… You’ve got ten feet of clarity the way you get 10 feet mores to move forward… 10 feet right! You’re never going to know, right!

We’re all looking for this, sort of! I heard one of your guests recently talked about how ‘Fear is wanting to have a predictable outcome around an experience that you’ve never had before!’

That’s what we’re all looking for! But that’s not the way that it works! You get as clear as you can. Then you take action. And more clarity unfolds for you!

Tim Bilyeu: How do you help people unwind the fears around that? Is it all attacking the beliefs like what are you really worried about? ‘I’m worried I’m not good enough!’ – that kind of thing?

David Bayer: Yeah! For us it’s really looking at what is the thinking that’s causing the emotional response – which is fear! And knowing that what’s actually happening — and again this is just what we’re suggesting! What’s actually happening is you’ve activated neural networks that represent a dissonant concept and your nervous system is experiencing that dissonance is fear!

• Your nervous system is telling you it’s not true!
• It’s not true that you’re not good enough!
• It’s not true that you need to get it all done!
• It’s not true that you’re gonna end up living under the bridge!

It’s not true! Any of those things aren’t true!

Tim Bilyeu: Walk me through the journey to discovering all of this stuff? So you were 10 years ago, were in addiction? But you rock it! I mean look I only know this sort of external side of your story. So it wasn’t there.

So I’m sure it wasn’t as easy as one would believe seeing how far out of that you’ve come! But like what were some key points on that journey? Like a few moments that felt like ‘Whoa! This is like a lightning rod moment!’? Were there those? Or was it just sort of a gradual stacking of mild insights? What did that process look like? And how did you keep yourself going?

David Bayer: So I was in the depths of my addiction. I remember about three weeks before I realized I had a problem – which is amazing to see that! I had these experiences and didn’t realize I had a problem, until three weeks later! It was the last time I was ever gonna buy pot. Bought it from my pot dealer, smoked it on my back porch, still had a bag left after rolling a joint, filled the bag up with water, so that I wouldn’t smoke it! Took it to Whole Foods and dumped it in the garbage can! And three hours later was back at Whole Foods pulling out of the garbage cans and drying it out on my back porch. That’s addiction.

In the beginning, it was just about trying to figure out how to untether myself from these addictive patterns of behavior. And I started working on a 12-step program. And in about three or four weeks after I started working on the 12-step program, I go to the airport. You know you have those like book moments like a book decides, it’s developing a relationship with you and like. I go over and grabbed this book off the shelf ‘Awakening the Buddha Within!’

On the back of the book, it had the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism. It said ‘Life is full of suffering. The suffering will happen to you. There’s a way out of the suffering and the way out of the suffering is the Eightfold Path of virtue!’

And I don’t know what the eightfold path of virtue as I’m like but it’s more efficient than twelve steps; they only have eight. So I start reading this book and I’m like, ‘Wow the things Bill was talking about in 12 steps are very similar to what Buddha was talking about!’ And then an employee left a book on my desk called ‘Kingdom Principles’ by Myles Munroe and I was like Christ is saying the same thing.

Then I went to Barnes and Noble and I kid you not on the second floor of the Barnes & Noble I walked over to his section that I didn’t know existed called self-help and ‘Think and Grow Rich’ was sitting on the floor. And I just happened to pick it up! Read the back of the book, bought the book!

So my journey began right. And yeah it was a gradual progression:

• It was picking up these individual distinctions.
• It was realizing that we’re always in sympathetic or parasympathetic
• It was realizing that that my emotional responses were being dictated by my thoughts not by the actual experiences

It was starting to become more self-aware through the work that we did! Carol and I went to India three times! Did really deep intensive work there.

Tim Bilyeu: What does that mean when you go to India? Were you in an ashram?

David Bayer: Yeah we’re at an ashram – more like a university. It was like a five-star ashram. Taking classes, doing breathwork, meditation. Some of the breathwork we did there was really really really deep!

Tim Bilyeu: It allows you to like get into the parasympathetic. What is like wholly unfamiliar with this kind of training? I have, but like through Sam Harris.

David Bayer: What I can give you is my theory about what happens with the breathwork that we did. I experienced what it was like to be a turtle. I had a conversation with Krishna. We are talking like a true DMT-induced kind of thing. Yes but just breathe.

Tim Bilyeu: I’m assuming this is in meditation. How does breath work? Is it different from meditation? I know you’ve done a lot of meditation. Is there a different experience to breath work versus meditation? Is it actually like a place where you’re getting hypoxic or something? Yes it’s a very active breath work right. Do you know Wim Hof’s method?

David Bayer: I’ve done wim Hof’s!

Tim Bilyeu: Is it something intense like that we are?

David Bayer: Yes for an extended period of time. At that point what I think happens is we begin to detach from the mind. And then these other experiences show up right. I mean I had never really contemplated what it was like to be my mom’s tortoise but for whatever reason that’s what I experienced, right.

And as you begin to experience these things… you know experiences change the brain right! In fact the only way you change the brain is through experience. Like moment by moment by moment we’re recording what’s going on. And we’re built we’re either reiterating the neural networks that are there; we’re building new neural networks or pruning out old ones.

So these are experiences so you know. To what extent there’s a value to experiencing being a turtle…? I don’t know. But I’ve had the experience so it’s in here now. And so you know and a lot of people use plant medicine for that right… Exploring different experiences or DMT.

So yeah we’ve been on a journey of personal exploration. And the one thing that we started to see consistently as we were working with people around their beliefs which we believe create the quality of their life. Moving forward in every area…

Like I can sit with someone and hear what they believe and tell them what their life looks like. I could get real creepy and follow someone around for three days without them knowing. I could sit down and pretty much tell them what they believe, right!

Your beliefs dictate your destiny. And that’s not some you know is quotable right; it’s the fact. That it’s at the core of behavioral psychology.

Your beliefs dictate your thoughts → dictate your emotions → dictate your actions → dictate your results → which reinforce your beliefs.

And what we consistently saw was that, as we first started, giving people permission to change their beliefs, by realizing their decisions! The beliefs are just decisions and that you could just decide something different. And the whole machine would start recalibrating around it and reorienting around it… If you were willing to give yourself permission to make a new decision about life, or money, or relationships, or whatever it is!

But then after that we consistently started seeing that the quality of the belief was that as we actually worked with people they would say, ‘Oh! It’s actually not true!’ ‘Oh! I see that it’s not true for me!’ It doesn’t need to be not true for me, but as we worked with them with our methodology they would go, ‘Wow! It is and it was not even true!’ And it was never true back then. My dad was just well-meaning and wanted to help me build a better Mission San Juan Capistrano. He didn’t tell me I didn’t know how to do it right!

So as we saw that then we started finding even faster ways right.

Now you got to be open to it! You got to be open to the idea that anytime you’re moving into a primal state, it’s only being caused by your thinking! And the quality of the thinking is that it’s not true, even though in the moment it’s really true for you right. And that’s how we started creating these really radical breakthroughs and that was my experience.

Listen, I move into some form of suffering daily right. It’s part of the human experience. I still have my amygdala and my limbic system. But I’m very quickly able to reorient myself. Because it’s a beautiful binary structure.

Tim Bilyeu: How did you get good at that?

David Bayer: Practice. The most important thing in my life on a moment-by-moment basis which sometimes I don’t make the most important thing. But most of the time I do it by noticing what state I am in. And if I’ve moved into a primal state – observing the thinking – to see what it is and going into an exploration of the thinking, knowing that it’s not true, if it’s causing me that emotion… And I do it over and over and over again.

And then I supplement it… I supplement it with doing cold work; I supplement it with doing breathwork, I supplement it with my nutrition. So that philosophy has sort of become a pillar of my personal growth, in my personal evolution.

Tim Bilyeu: Yeah that’s super powerful. So now putting this in a framework will get you triggered by something. So you said that you go into a primal state daily and you sort of mingle and all that. Walk us through that process that you go through. And then get back into that powerful state?

David Bayer: Yeah. So something will happen. A team member who I’ve spoken to three times about the same issue will incorrectly do the thing for the fourth time. I’ll notice that I’ll get frustrated and I’ll look at the thinking. Now again my should mean something different than your should, I think.

But what I believe is that, what I’m thinking at that moment, is that I shouldn’t have to continue to coach them, there are things that I need to do that are more important. The fact that they can’t get this thing done properly is going to be a huge disruption. And I’ll start going down a rabbit trail around it right.

And I’ll notice that I’m doing that, and I’ll go, ‘Okay, got it!’ So if that whole category of thinking is making me feel stressed or anxious or overwhelmed, I know those things aren’t true! This doesn’t threaten the organization; it’s not taken away from the things that I should be doing. If this is what showed up, this is what I should be focused on! That’s what great leaders do. There’s a reason for this even though I may not be able to see it yet. ‘How can I be an even better leader for this person? What is it about the first three times that I explain this thing to them that is not clicking for them?’

And I can start to move into some form of empathy, some form of connections, some form of leadership. And you know as leaders, the irony around all of it is that when we approach our teams, where we had that type of experience with them from anger from frustration from irritation, we’re actually not good coaches for them. We can’t move them forward into doing the thing properly.

But when we realize that the frustration is coming from us, and that all the things that we think should be that are not in that moment should not be. Because they’re not in that moment. And we become present to that moment into that person from a powerful state. That’s how we are able to feel good about ourselves, and actually support the people around us.

Tim Bilyeu: That’s cool! And that’s something that you’re able to help your clients do faster and faster and faster. Do you break that process down into steps like step? One, identify the thinking; step two….

David Bayer: For sure. That’s our approach in a nutshell which goes much broader and much deeper. This idea that you’re in one of two states, that you if you want to be creating…

• a life you love, or
• a business you love, or
• a team you love, or
• a mission you love
• and be successful

It’s from a powerful state!

Tim Bilyeu: All right. So to give people their steps?

David Bayer:

1. Step one: Notice, when you’ve moved into a primal state;
2. Step two: Know that the only thing that’s causing you to move into that emotional state which is sympathetic is your own thinking;
3. Step three: Take a look at what the thinking is
4. Step four: Play around with or be willing to be open to the fact that if it’s moving you into a primal state – it may not be true right!
5. Step five: If that’s not true then some form of the opposite must be true. What might that be?
6. Step six: What evidence do you have for the fact that that would be true?

What happens over time is the brain starts to even get acclimated to this process. So like I don’t go through the six step process, every time. I notice I have an emotional reaction and I reorient myself fairly quickly. And like I said I’m a human being, so I get hooked on things that are triggers, you know, for me all the time. I just don’t get hooked as frequently and I don’t spend as much time in the hook.

Tim Bilyeu: That’s a superpower. Where can people learn more about you?

David Bayer: Well people can go to our website at DavidBayer.com. We’ve got our ‘Mind Hack’ ebook there, which they can download for free. And we’ve got tons of other information videos, information about our powerful living experience.

For people who really want to go deeper into their personal growth. Not just become self-aware, but go beyond self-awareness and really learn how to change their thinking.

Tim Bilyeu: What’s the impact that you want to have on the world?

David Bayer: We see a world where the biggest problems are being solved. In our language that’s restoring intelligence to humanity, really, helping humanity evolve to the next evolution of who they are – which is an evolution of the nervous system. It’s an evolution of intelligence.

That’s our goal, you know. My experience was suffering, so we want to help people and their suffering, and then go beyond that you have a powerful living experience!

Tim Bilyeu: Yeah, guys. If you’re looking for somebody that can really articulate the steps of how to make change – this is your man! It’s pretty incredible! The stuff that he gives away for free is already extraordinary! And then people really vouch hard for the events and stuff that he does!

So if that is something that you want to do in your life – get unstuck, man! Dive into his world you will not regret it!

All right. If you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe and until next time my friends. Be legendary! Take care.

David, my man! Thank you, so much!

David Bayer: Thank you everyone.

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