The Art of Persuasive Storytelling: Kelly Parker (Transcript)

Here is the full transcript of communications expert Kelly Parker’s talk titled “The Art of Persuasive Storytelling” at TED 2024 conference.

Listen to the audio version here:

TRANSCRIPT:

The Power of Stories

Do you remember the first time you heard a really good story? One of my first times was when I read “Ramona the Pest” by Beverly Cleary. As a kid, I loved to curl up in my favorite chair in our living room and transport myself into the misadventures of Ramona Quimby. Even now, I remember how my heart would race, reading about her getting into trouble over and over for misbehaving.

At the same time, as a shy suburban kid who often took myself a little bit too seriously, I really admired her fun-loving attitude and her carefree spirit. I’ve always loved stories because they allow me to experience other worlds I didn’t know anything about, yet helped me make sense of my own world at the same time.

But stories aren’t just for books or movies or entertainment. They’re one of the most powerful forces on the planet to connect, persuade and influence our mindset, beliefs and behavior. And that’s why storytelling is one of the most powerful marketing and leadership tools there is. In a world cluttered with forgettable, lackluster messages, stories make us memorable.

Not only that, stories create powerful connections between the storyteller and the story listener. Eleanor Rankin, writes, Uri Hasson, professor of psychology and neuroscience at Princeton University, discovered that as you hear a story unfold, your brainwaves actually start to synchronize with those of the storyteller. The greater the listener’s comprehension, the more closely the brainwave patterns mirrored each other.

Stories Affect Behavior

Kind of brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “get on the same wavelength,” right? But here’s the best part of all: stories are proven to affect behavior. Let’s take the health care context, for example.

Melanie Green, a communication professor at the University of Buffalo, says that people are more likely to make changes to their lifestyle and health habits if they see a character they relate to making the same change. And so if you’ve ever wanted to get anyone to do anything, you would do well to learn how to tell better stories. Yet too often we’re telling the wrong stories or we’re not telling them at all.

And in effect, we’re wasting our time and our precious dollars on programs, campaigns and initiatives that sorely miss the mark. Well, I’ve been studying stories since I was a kid, and I’ve been bringing them to life for more than a decade as a professional corporate marketer. And today, I want to show you the easy way to create your own stories that connect, persuade, influence and break through all the clutter.

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The Problem and the Pursuit

So let’s start at the beginning. Number one, the problem and the pursuit. The problem and the pursuit. You know, I believe the worst story of all is the one that is told too soon. And truly, this is a very common mistake that aspiring storytellers make. We launch into a story and don’t know the first thing about who we’re talking to.

Before you’re qualified to tell anything, you must deeply understand your audience’s problem and pursuit. Their problem is where they are right now. It’s the issues that they’re facing in their current state and how they feel about it. Their pursuit is where they want to be. It’s who they want to be, and it’s how they will feel in this future perfect world. Business development expert and LinkedIn top sales influencer, Liz J. Simpson, knows a little something about understanding her audience’s problem and pursuit.

Listening Comes Before Telling

To create messages for her email marketing, her website and her social media content, she listens to her clients and then begins to extract specific elements from what they’ve said and infuses it into her language and her visuals. The effect is a resounding “Girl! How did you do that? Because every time I see something from you, it feels like you’re talking directly to me.”

Now, how did she do it? Simply because she’s taking time to understand her audience’s problem and pursuit. Now how did she get that understanding? Well, it’s because she’s living out a very powerful storytelling principle, which is this: good story listening always comes before a good story telling. And so, number one, if you want to tell a good story, you have to understand your audience’s problem and pursuit. Number two, you have to be able to paint them a picture.

Paint a Picture

You have to be able to co-create a reality that shows you understand the problem, yet hints at a better future. To do this, you’ll need a specific person, a specific challenge, specific imagery and specific feelings. Did I mention you should be specific?

Now specific doesn’t mean long and drawn out, it just means you want to include some distinguishable characteristics that your audience can relate to. It’s the reason why Nike’s ads with LeBron James don’t include a bunch of close up shots of shoes they’re selling. They don’t need to.

They found the perfect person in LeBron James to represent a specific, relatable challenge, namely overcoming obstacles to beat an opponent. Then they utilize specific imagery to represent a specific progression of feelings, like defeat and discouragement, to hope and victory and resilience. And once you’ve been gripped by a story like that, doesn’t it almost go without saying that you want to wear the same sports gear LeBron James does?

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To inspire action and shift beliefs, paint a vivid picture for your audience through words and imagery that they can instantly recall when they think of you. And so if you’re going to tell a good story, you have to, number one, know your audience’s problem and pursuit. You must, number two, paint them a picture that they can remember and repeat.

Making Proposals

And finally, number three, you must propose.

You must propose. The year was 2004. I was a senior at Kent State University at the time, and my boyfriend was holding a get-together at his home, which I, of course, attended. And suddenly, when I least expected it, there were roses, there was music, and right there, in front of all my closest family and friends, he got down on one knee, he pulled out a ring, and in an instant all my little girl marriage proposal fantasies came true. On the other hand, we have Curtis.

Curtis, a couple of years back, was at a local outdoor music event. And at the end of the event, he invited his girlfriend Jackie to come up on stage with him. And so Jackie begins to wade through the crowd and find her way to the stage, and she climbs the steps to the stage, and she gets up there and she’s standing up there looking at Curtis.

The only problem was, she’s looking at him like this. Undaunted, Curtis begins to pour out his heart, and he says, “Jackie, baby, I love you, girl.” He says, “Jackie, baby, You’ve been like an angel in my life.”

He said, “Jackie, baby, the writing is all over the wall. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” And he, too, gets down on one knee and he, too, pulls out a ring and he says, “Jackie, will you marry me?” And right there, in front of all those people, Jackie looked him dead in the eye, and she said, “I’m sorry, but no,” and walked off the stage. This is the tension we stand in as marketers and leaders. Because we’re constantly making proposals.

Buy my product, try my service, come to my event, join my cause. And as much as we want to hear that enthusiastic yes, we’re also pretty afraid of the rejection of no. I mean, let’s be real. Especially a public rejection like Curtis’s, where, despite your best efforts, your preparation and your good intentions, it just fell flat. But this is the power of story. Because stories make proposals extremely appealing and stack the odds in your favor.

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Timing and Connection

First, stories help you get the timing right. How many of you know, nobody wants you to propose marriage on the first date? But too often, we expect our audiences to commit too soon. Well-placed stories slow down the process just enough for you to build credibility and trust. It’s the principle that New York Times best-selling author Gary Vaynerchuk talks about in his book “Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook: How to Tell Your Story in a Noisy Social World.” The idea is to give before you ask and to give much more than you ask.

Good stories position us to be givers before we expect to receive. Not only that, stories make proposals irresistible because they allow us to build connection. Stories masterfully infuse a human element into our businesses, our brands and our programs that draws people in. So much so that by the time you do go in for the ask, like any good proposal, it simply feels like the next logical step.

You see, stories are more than stories. They are the connective tissue that links you to the solution in people’s minds, so that by the time you do present your solution or propose your offer, they say, “It’s about time. I’ve been waiting for this.”

Tell Your Stories

And once you’ve told your story with all the confidence in the world, ask, invite, propose, shout it from the rooftops. Because by that time, if you found the right people, the next step you’re suggesting is something they’ll want just as much as you do. And so, tell more stories.

In fact, tell your stories. It might be the details surrounding your greatest losses, your greatest wins or the context in which you’ve learned your greatest life lessons that will paint the pictures, that will let people know, you understand my problem. And you understand my pursuit.

Absolutely, I would love to accept your proposal. And who knows, maybe your stories will serve a bigger purpose. Maybe they’ll help someone find connection, community and a little bit of fun. Just like so many years ago, Beverly Cleary’s stories did for me. Thank you.