The Power of Ambition: Bipasha Hrangkhawl (Transcript)

So, this is a little brief about ATC, and when an aircraft has to travel from an origin to a destination. Say, for example, if an aircraft has to travel from Agartala to Kolkata, it comes across many air traffic units.

Some may be, okay, Agartala tower gives us, you know, gives the aircraft a clearance for take-off. After that, after 13,000 feet, it will come in contact with Dhaka control. After Dhaka, it will again come in contact with Kolkata area. And after that, Kolkata approach, then Kolkata tower. So, these are the different units. A station, maybe for example, Kolkata might be having three, five, or seven units. Tower, and there is approach, you know, and beyond approach, a higher level, we have the area control. So all of these. So, giving you all a brief about ATC, I would like to also share a bit about my journey, how it all began.

My Journey

And I’m sharing my life story a little bit. To be an air traffic controller for me was a big dream because it was my parents’ dream. It was especially my father’s dream. Initially, for the initial seven years, I was raised in a village called Rangamura. I lived with my parents there and I went to a local school. So, in the local school, things are very simple. You know, we were just taught basic education. It’s not like the schools we have in cities nowadays.

It’s not very competitive. So, we used to just learn basic, you know, go in the morning at 8 a.m., come back by 10 a.m., just learning ABCD, learning a few words. It was very fun. And I was a very naughty kid as a child. And since I was very naughty, my parents were very worried. And they used to tell me, you know, “The way you roam from the morning till evening, future, you have a blank future. You have no future at all.”

My grandparents used to tell me the same. They used to tell my parents that “Your child is very naughty. You know, our grandchild is very naughty. She will not grow up to become anything. She will be just a curse to the family and society.”

So, since I was very naughty, my parents decided that at the age of 7, I was put up at a boarding school. At such a young age, going to a boarding school was very, very challenging. I used to cry. I used to miss my home a lot. But my parents decided, no, we have to put our foot down, put a stone on our heart, and put her at a boarding school so that she learns a little bit of discipline. Maybe she can learn speaking English. And maybe she will be a little bit better in studies also.

You know, staying and living with other students. That school was somewhere near Ambassa. It was situated in a rural area. And since it was a rural area missionary school, they concentrated on helping out the students who were from poor families, you know, whose parents were working like daily wages. They could not be at home always cooking food and taking care of kids. So they put their kids to boarding school, and they used to go to work.

So, I had schoolmates in the hostel coming from these kinds of families. So, they were very fun-loving. And I was very naughty in the hostel as well. And I was not having much friends. And I think that was the problem because I was bullied a lot. I was bullied by even the superior seniors. And there were some schoolmates who were having groups. You know, groups of 5 girls, 3 girls, 4 girls. They used to bully me.

They used to pull my hands and they used to tease me and they used to ask me, you know, “Why are you loitering here?” “This is our place. This is not your place. You cannot come here. You walk through that gate or you walk through that road.” So, they used to bully me and push me and, you know, talk to me very rudely. However, these did not affect me. I was a little bit, you know, too fun-loving and I was alone. I didn’t have much friends.

I used to talk to everyone. I was friendly, but I didn’t have friends. So, years passed by and after hostel, after spending a few months and years there, I came to Agartala with my parents because my father was also transferred. That’s when I got admitted to a school in Agartala. That’s when I got the cultural shock of my life because schools in Agartala are so different, you know.

Everyone stayed with their parents and I was like, okay. So, they stayed with their parents and their parents were very caring also. It’s not like our parents were not caring, but here the environment was different. Everyone was so competitive. Everyone knew how to speak on stage. I had a lot of stage fright. When I see a crowd, I used to be like so many faces, you know. I used to just be blank. I used to just freeze.

And by seeing so many talented people, I used to feel very inferior, very inferior. And I would tell my parents that “I don’t want to study in this school.” However, my parents were adamant there also. They said, “No, you have to study because we are here now. You have to study. We have no other alternative.” You have no other shortcuts to study.

So years passed and I was also in my teenage years and passing like, you know, secondary classes. Like class 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10. In those days, I was very weak in two subjects. They were Maths and Bengali. I still don’t have them as my favorites. But I somehow struggled to overcome my fear of these two subjects and I’m doing okay now.

So, teachers used to call my parents to school and they used to tell my parents that “Your child is not studying, you know, not studying at all.” And I was quite disciplined, you know, every day I used to play from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. but 7 to 9 p.m. every day I was at my study table without my parents telling me anything.

But I used to wonder why am I doing so bad in these subjects? And I felt very bad and my parents would scold me the same way, you know, “Why are you not studying?” And I was like, okay. I thought I knew a solution. My solution was, I used to tell my papa and mom, “I want to go to tuition because all my friends are doing well. They all have tutors at home. They have teachers at home. I want to go to tuition.”

But my father was against it. He said, “Tuitions are for those who may not have time. Parents don’t have time to teach their kids. So they send them for tuition.” But you have your father. I can teach you Maths. Your mother can teach you Bengali. Then what is your problem? “We cannot always come to you. You take out the doubt, you come to us. We are not going to allow you tuition.” And so, I had no other option.

I used to study and I used to read. As, you know, a few exams passed by, I was not doing well. Then I realized that the biggest error might be in the language. I could not understand Bengali because maybe my basic was wrong. My basic was, I could not even differentiate between where should I be putting this “ja” and that “ja.” Since I was trying to study on my own, I figured it out. That language is my problem maybe.

I started reading a lot of English books. I started practicing reading. And I started reading storybooks first. Like everyone says, you know, you have heard of the famous saying, no? “Read what you love, till you love to read.” So, I loved storybooks. I read only storybooks initially, of both English language and Bengali language. Slowly, slowly, I did not read so much.

But I understood that my problem was with language. And that’s how I started to cope up with the weakness, the weak, you know, the, what to say, the trouble I had in Maths and Bengali. Years passed and I also took part in a speech competition once. I learned my speech.

Overcoming Stage Fright

I practiced it many times. But when I went on stage, there were as many people as, a little bit more than, you know, the people present here. And I froze. They were my schoolmates, my teacher, our school principal. I said a few lines. And after that, I just froze. I said, “I, the, done.” And I blushed. My face became red. I was sweating. I just exited the stage. I went and I sat quietly and I was very embarrassed.

I was so embarrassed that whenever people would come to talk to me for the next few weeks, I used to feel that, oh, he’s, you know, this person is remembering how I forgot my speech. No matter, like, they might be coming to me just to talk. But I was always thinking, I had this in my mind, that they’re remembering how I forgot my speech. They would be feeling, you know, “Bipasha forgets this. She’s not even good in speech. Still, she took part.” You know, this girl, why does she do that? So, I used to think people were assuming things about me.

Choosing My Path

So, I went through a very low phase and I never took part in speech competitions after that. Then comes my class 11 and 12. I had taken up science after class 10. Because my friends took the science stream. So, since I thought, okay, if my friends took science, I can also take. My marks are eligible. I’m eligible enough. And people sail through. I will also sail through. That’s what I thought.

And in class 11 and 12, again, a lot of trouble. I could not understand physics, maths, and chemistry. Even biology was so tough. And I was like, why am I studying? I want to quit this science and I want to go back to some other stream. Let me just, it’s okay. I was self-motivated. No problem. I will leave my two years and I’ll go back after class 10. I’ll join class 11 again with another stream.

That was the level. I went almost crazy. As my mom still reminds me of that. My parents were very upset. They said, “See, when you have the caliber, you took it. So, only thing is that you have to work hard.” But I was like, “No, I cannot work hard. I want to leave.”

Facing Failure and Moving Forward

So, doing this and that, I flunked class 12. So, that was the biggest, I think, one of the saddest moments I had ever gone through. Because I knew that I would not be giving class 12, but attempting the class 12. But after I attempted, and I purposely, you know, did not study well. And I was casually saying, “No, I’m going to drop this year. I’ll give next year.”

But when I saw my friends passing, getting into colleges, it hurt me a lot. I was feeling very bad and I was feeling left out. So, I decided, I used to pray to God, you know. Since childhood, I always, I didn’t know what God was, what belief was, what faith was much. But I always believed in the Superpower. So, I used to talk, I used to pray to God and say that, “If I had the courage to, at some point, give up my studies and change a new stream, I have the courage to also start and continue with the stream I have taken, that is science, and pass it.” If I have the courage to do that, to leave everything, I have the courage to overcome and pass my exams. I took it as a determination. I was determined.

Embracing a New Challenge

And after that, I passed class 12. Also, I passed one engineering entrance exam. And my parents were happy. They said, “At least you’ll get into engineering.” So, this was our dream. So, I was like, okay, fine. But I did not want to do engineering at all. I wanted to study either forestry or, you know, agriculture. But for that, my parents had to get me enrolled in a private institution for which they had to take loans again. And my father would have found it tough. He would not refuse.

But I knew they would be taking loans and making me study. I would have to take a study loan. I didn’t want that. So, I finally settled and I was happy with an engineering seat because that was a government seat. And after getting into engineering, I did not like it. I completed my engineering with a lot of problems. I did not want to study. But I used to… People would say, like in engineering, what do people generally say? They say that we study at the last moment and we pass. Right? But that is not… I don’t think that is the case.

The Journey After Engineering

People who have done engineering, they will know that we have to… You have to either… If you want to do one-night study, means you are super intelligent and not many people are like that. We are all normal people. And you have to go through the same topic quite a few times. And then in the last day, you may revise. And you have to also go through a lot of previous year’s papers. So, I might have…

I used to go through previous year’s papers. And I used to apply shortcuts. And then I used to pass. But that was not the real passing, you know. I don’t know the crux of engineering much. And somehow I ended engineering. But after completion of engineering came the biggest dilemma. What would I do after engineering?

In those days, in 2015, when I passed out, everyone was doing MBA. Everyone was into MBA. Then they went for GATE. They did M.Tech. And I was like, I don’t want to do MBA. I don’t think I have the patience. GATE, my mind is not interested in research. I cannot even do it.

Finding My True Calling

What would I be doing? I came home from my college. And after coming home, I stayed… You know, many people ask like… Many relatives will keep on asking, “What are you going to do with your life? What are you… You know, do something. Help your dad or help…” Like they put you in such a pressure. They will pass comments. It was not very pleasant to hear. But I never felt bad.

I never take it in a negative way. I used to say to myself, I used to tell myself that no matter what happens, I am there with myself. Even if my parents don’t support me, I will decide something. And I realized, I took some months to decide. And then I realized, I wanted to earn money. Whatever it is, I want to be financially independent first. After financial independence, maybe I will make a living on my own. That’s when I will not be interfered by people around me.

So, I decided, I need a job. I got into a private company here in Agartala. I worked there for almost a year. But still, I was not very happy. I was like, no, I have to get a job. My first priority was only a little bit of income. No matter how much it is. And that’s when my father also used to remind me, you know, my father never forgot the term ATC.

Since childhood, he told me, “Okay, I want you to become an ATC.” He said the same when I was in college. He said, “See, you are in electronics and telecommunications branch and I think you will be suitable for ATC. You please give the exam.” So, ATC in India is provided by Defense and Airport Authority of India. I used to go to the website and I filled a form once, application once in my final year. Which I could not clear.

But since I could not clear, but I attempted the exam, I saw the type of questions. It was aptitude, a little bit of physics, quantitative aptitude, a little bit of reasoning, slight English, and physics and maths. So, I knew the pattern a little bit, though not much. So, when my father used to tell me, you know, after college also, you are doing this private job. Apart from this, I want you to try in ATC once again.

So, he used to always remind me about ATC, ATC. So, I said, “Okay, Papa, I will give not, I will attempt not only ATC exams, I will attempt all types of exams.” Initially, I attempted in all types of exams and I saw that I was clearing them because I used to study online only. I used to study only through Google and the monthly magazines given by some publishers, which give you sample papers, you know, for bank exams.

I attempted bank exams also. Initially, they were tough, but I followed the newspapers and the publishers’ monthly magazines. Then I got to, I used to practice every day consistently. There was only consistency. I used to roam, have fun, you know, do social gatherings, but at night, at least one or two hours, I used to read those. So, that’s when I think that’s how I started preparing.

And initially, I started with many exams and slowly, slowly, I started knowing my priorities, what I really want. Because when you clear the exam and you get selected, you know that, okay, I did not want to do this, but I cleared, so do I want to go there? Do I need money? I needed salary. I wanted to be in a salary job or I wanted to earn money. Do I need this?

So, I slowly started filtering it out and in a span of one to two years, that’s when I could clear the ATC exam also. I’m thankful to many people around who always guide me and also thankful to Google because Google really helped me with all my preparations. I started with all types of preparations, online, GK and everything. So, that’s how my journey is about.

Conclusion

And like I said earlier in the summary, the central idea of my story, that failures and the limitations and flaws can be blessings too. So, as a child also, as I grew up, I’ve been through, you know, I’ve seen, okay, I have this flaw, I have been through troubles and troubles always will keep coming to our lives. But take it as a blessing. People, you know, when we think something, like when we feel, okay, I’m suffering from this ailment or I’m suffering due to this event, there are many people actually suffering in this world.

But we cannot lose hope. We have to keep our minds strong and everything is possible. No matter what tough times come, we have to believe that no tough time can be tougher than you. They come to hit you, but you have to be stronger than them. You have to stand strong. And I thank for all the kind of, you know, small little events like I forgot my speech on stage. I used to, you know, fail in a few subjects. All of these taught me.

All of these made me more, you can say, you know, self-introspecting. And it made me learn. It gave me patience also because learning takes time. Sometimes people are quick learners, but everyone is not the same. So, that’s why I slowly built up a few of my skills. And I knew I was not one of those students, you know, who had talent. I was not a dancer. I was not a singer. I was not a painter.

My handwriting was also not very good that I could try calligraphy. Nothing. I did not have any talent, I felt. And as time passes, we all grow, and we have things to learn and unlearn. And in the coming few years, if I can do something, I might be able to share it with you all. Thank you so much. Have a lovely evening.

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