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Transcript: Can You Really Tell If a Kid is Lying? By Kang Lee at TED

Sharing is Kindness in Action!

Kang Lee

This is the full transcript of Professor Kang Lee’s TED Talk: Can You Really Tell If a Kid is Lying?

Listen to the MP3 Audio here: Can you really tell if a kid is lying by Kang Lee

Kang Lee – Professor, Dr. Erick Jackman Institute of Child Study, University of Toronto

Hi, let me ask the audience a question: Did you ever lie as a child? If you did, could you please raise your hand? Wow! This is the most honest group of people I’ve ever met.

So for the last 20 years, I’ve been studying how children learn to tell lies. And today, I’m going to share with you some of the discoveries we have made.

But to begin, I’m going to tell you a story from Mr. Richard Messina, who is my friend and an elementary school principal. He got a phone call one day. The caller says, “Mr. Messina, my son Johnny will not come to school today because he is sick.”

Mr. Messina asks, “Who am I speaking to, please?”

And the caller says, “I am my father.”

So this story sums up very nicely three common beliefs that we have about children and lying.

One, children only come to tell lies after entering elementary school. Two, children are poor liars. We adults can easily detect their lies. And three, if children lie at a very young age, there must be some character flaws with them, and they are going to become pathological liars for life. Well, it turns out all of the three beliefs are wrong.

We have been playing guessing games with children all over the world. So here is an example. So in this game, we asked children to guess the numbers on the cards. And we tell them if they win the game, they are going to get a big prize. But in the middle of the game, we make an excuse and leave the room. And before we leave the room, we tell them not to peek at the cards. Of course, we have hidden cameras in the room to watch their every move. Because the desire to win the game is so strong, more than 90% of children will peek as soon as we leave the room.

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The crucial question is: When we return and ask the children whether or not they have peeked, will the children who peeked confess or lie about their transgression?

We found that regardless of gender, country, religion, at two years of age, 30% lie, 70% tell the truth about their transgression. At three years of age, 50% lie and 50% tell the truth. At four years of age, more than 80% lie. And after four years of age, most children lie. So as you can see, lying is really a typical part of development. And some children begin to tell lies as young as two years of age.

So now, let’s take a closer look at the younger children. Why some but not all young children lie? As in cooking, you need good ingredients to cook good food. And good lying requires two key ingredients. The first key ingredient is theory of mind, or the mind-reading ability. Mind reading is the ability to know that different people have different knowledge about the situation and the ability to differentiate between what I know and what you know. Mind reading is important for lying because the basis of lying is that I know you don’t know what I know. Therefore, I can lie to you.

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