Full text of Yvonne Newbold’s TEDx Talk titled ‘HOW TO MEET YOUR CHILD’S DIFFICULT BEHAVIOR WITH COMPASSION’ at TEDxNHS conference.
Listen to the audio version:
Yvonne Newbold – Founder of Newbold Hope
Tell me, have you ever seen somebody else’s child behave appallingly in a supermarket? Did you secretly blame the mum for her lack of control? Or did you even feel a little bit smug because you knew that your child would never behave like that?
For ten long years I was that mum you were staring at, and those stares hurt. They made me feel I was failing as a parent. And it wasn’t just other people who I didn’t know in shops that were judging me. That judgement came from friends and family, from healthcare professionals, from school staff and from social workers.
Being judged consistently for such a long period of time diminished my self-esteem and my self-confidence. It left me feeling crushed and broken. It had a really overwhelming impact on my ability to be able to do anything well, including my ability to be the best parent possible to my three children at exactly the time they really needed me to be right at the top of my game.
Now my little child Toby, he’s gorgeous. He is funny, he’s boisterous, he loves people. But he also has a profound intellectual disability: he’s autistic and he can’t talk. And that means that sadly Toby’s also had to get used to being judged and stared at as well.