Read the full transcript of Academy Award-winning actor and producer Reese Witherspoon’s interview on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, November 3, 2025. Monica Padman is the co-host of this podcast.
Welcome to Armchair Expert
DAX SHEPARD: Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I’m Dax Shepard and I’m joined by Monica Padman.
MONICA PADMAN: Hi. We are keeping the powerful gal train a chugging.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s so cool what a fall we’ve had.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s true.
DAX SHEPARD: We’re going to throw Brie in there too.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, great. Yes.
DAX SHEPARD: Reese Witherspoon. I’m not going to say my German pronunciation. You’ll have to listen to the fact check for that. Reese is an award winning actor, producer and author. Legally Blonde, The Morning Show, Big Little Lies, Cruel Intentions, my favorite movie ever, Election, Sweet Home Alabama.
She’s got a novel out right now that she co-wrote. This Girl Can’t Stop, Gone Before Goodbye. And yes, she teamed up with best selling author Harlan Coben who, as we discuss in here, has got 57 shows on Netflix. He’s the most prolific person ever. And the very fun part about the audiobook is that she reads it and of course she brings all of her talent to bear on it and it’s wonderful. I recommend it. Please enjoy. Reese Witherspoon.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, yeah.
Meeting Reese
REESE WITHERSPOON: Let’s hug.
MONICA PADMAN: Let’s do it. Good to see you. I feel like I have done this podcast, but I haven’t.
DAX SHEPARD: You haven’t.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You have not.
DAX SHEPARD: But we would remember.
MONICA PADMAN: That’s right, you did. But that wasn’t this. That wasn’t this. That was called Shattered Glass.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That was on Zoom.
MONICA PADMAN: That was a Hooray Women podcast.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Hooray Women.
DAX SHEPARD: This is a Hooray Men podcast. We celebrate all the achievements of men historically.
REESE WITHERSPOON: We love men.
The Watch Story
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, I know. I want to talk about that. Will you flash your watch at me for one second?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah. Are you a watch guy?
DAX SHEPARD: I love that watch. I love it. Yeah, it’s really handsome.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That’s a good story.
DAX SHEPARD: It does. What’s the story?
MONICA PADMAN: Let’s hear it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I think I want to tell the story.
MONICA PADMAN: We can always cut it after the fact.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It was somebody didn’t want to pay me.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: And I was like, buy me a watch.
REESE WITHERSPOON: There’s this really cool watch I want.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, yeah, I like that.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And it’s so dumb because what they should have paid me.
DAX SHEPARD: Sure, sure, sure, sure.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes. But I was like, I love this watch.
DAX SHEPARD: And by the way, I would never.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Buy this for myself.
DAX SHEPARD: And that’s more fun than the amount of money maybe you should have got that would be sitting in a bank account at some point. So in a weird way, it is more valuable, you know? No, you’re not.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Accumulated interest, net present value compounded.
MONICA PADMAN: We have a sort of tangential. Dax bought me a car in a similar, in sort of a similar, not that exact situation, but.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, yeah, but similar, similar. I’d offered her a bonus and she turned it down.
MONICA PADMAN: Wow.
DAX SHEPARD: I didn’t phrase any of it all correctly. But then she’s like, “No, I don’t fing want this bonus.” I was like, “Oh, f, I really wanted to get.” And then I was like, well, if I just drop a car off, what’s she going to do? She’s not going to go through the pain in the ass of returning the thing. That’s true.
MONICA PADMAN: And I didn’t. It’s still my car. She’s a great car.
DAX SHEPARD: Somehow I did that.
Cars and Compliments
REESE WITHERSPOON: You’re a car guy, though, right?
MONICA PADMAN: You love car.
DAX SHEPARD: I am a car guy. Well, you went to our car.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I figured that out. When I saw your station wagon, I was like, that is.
MONICA PADMAN: Were you horny? Be honest. Good choice.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Closed.
DAX SHEPARD: It only makes dudes.
MONICA PADMAN: Closed the shop.
DAX SHEPARD: It only makes dudes horny, unfortunately, as everything. Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That station wagon with the wood paneling.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. Because it has a 700 horsepower engine in it. If you were hearing it run, you’d be like, “What the, what is that?”
MONICA PADMAN: I will give it to you that a lot of men who come in through this attic and garage have commented on the cars, have commented on Dax’s.
DAX SHEPARD: Muscular body, which, again, women don’t like, but men like. There’s all these things I do, and I’m not sure why. Because only men like it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, that’s not true. That’s not true.
DAX SHEPARD: I think it’s mostly true.
REESE WITHERSPOON: What are you eating?
DAX SHEPARD: Nicotine mint. And then I have a spray as well. Were you ever a nicotine person?
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, because you’re admitted. I tried really hard to smoke and it was just a big fail.
DAX SHEPARD: Why? What went wrong? They’re pretty easy to operate.
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, I couldn’t breathe it in. I couldn’t. I was just a ding dong. Oh, my God, why are you the cutest human?
Sourdough Bread Gift
DAX SHEPARD: Hand it to her on camera, please. I want the world to know, and I want her to unwrap it. Your most popular guest always. Please unwrap it and smell it, because.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It smells so good. I love you at the other place. Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: Thanks for the breath.
MONICA PADMAN: Call me Power Joe. This is a real Taylor Swift move she just did for providing sourdough.
REESE WITHERSPOON: She’s no dummy.
MONICA PADMAN: She’s no dummy.
DAX SHEPARD: They call her the Taylor Swift of the acting world. I just quoted that. She is love.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And she’s just so talented.
DAX SHEPARD: I know she really.
REESE WITHERSPOON: The voice.
MONICA PADMAN: I know the voice.
REESE WITHERSPOON: She can do it all.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s maddening. Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Is it maddening?
MONICA PADMAN: It is.
DAX SHEPARD: When you live with someone who’s dramatically better at everything than you. It can be maddening.
REESE WITHERSPOON: But you have your own skills.
DAX SHEPARD: I have my own skills. I can lift things. I can lift heavier things.
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, you’re hysterically funny. You’re an amazing writer. You’re great on camera. You make difficult people look great.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, thank you.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You can make an introvert talk about their lives. That’s good.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay, good, good, good. I’ll take it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And you’re good with research. I was like, “Oh, God, what are they going to dig up?”
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, he is very good with research.
DAX SHEPARD: But you should know where this starts.
MONICA PADMAN: Hold on.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Am I supposed to smell the bread?
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, let’s smell it. Let’s take a look at it.
DAX SHEPARD: And look at the top. This thing turned out.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, it’s pretty.
DAX SHEPARD: Isn’t that.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, my God. Butter and some flaky salt. And a radish.
MONICA PADMAN: Is it a radish?
DAX SHEPARD: No, we’re out on the radish.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Like, a little tomato and. Oh, I’m excited. If she and I were ever friends and had to spend time together, we just have a crafternoon. We just craft.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, she would love that.
Crafting and Hobbies
DAX SHEPARD: What’s your favorite kind of crafting? You’re almost finding it irresistible to not make a sweater out of that little yarn.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I’m going to make a new flower. I do paint by numbers. I do watercolor. I do picture frame making. Oh, I do chocolate bon bon making.
MONICA PADMAN: When you stuff a little.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Chocolate, you make a shell, you create a ganache, then you cap it, then you dec.
MONICA PADMAN: I love that. It’s a process. You could get into jam. People are really into jam.
DAX SHEPARD: Not with the soccer schedule I just learned about. You’re not going to do a damn thing other than travel for soccer.
The Soccer Schedule
REESE WITHERSPOON: I was going, okay, maybe I should get this. I want to have a lake house. I want to be that Americana lake house person. And my kids travel, soccer schedule is real intense.
DAX SHEPARD: Now, I don’t want to be a dick, Reese, but is there any party when you see that? Because you just told me it’s a 32 week schedule.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Parents are going to relate.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, and that’s too much.
REESE WITHERSPOON: There’s collective outrage.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: Why is it like that?
DAX SHEPARD: Well, that’s 65% of the year, which is too much to be doing anything. For starters, is there any part of you that’s like, I mean, Honda. Are we going to try to be go professional? Because if not, this seems really excessive. Do you have any.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I understand what you’re saying.
MONICA PADMAN: I see where you’re going.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Does my kid have an opportunity to be D1 in college?
DAX SHEPARD: There we go.
REESE WITHERSPOON: D3.
DAX SHEPARD: F* it. D3.
MONICA PADMAN: Anyway, no clue.
REESE WITHERSPOON: But let me tell you how smart my kid is, okay? He’s got. His EQ is off the charts, okay? He goes, “You know, mom, how old were you when you did your first movie?”
DAX SHEPARD: He did his research.
REESE WITHERSPOON: 14. He’s like, “I’m 13. This is my acting. My soccer is soccer is acting for me. Did your mom take you to acting classes?” I was like, yes. He was like, “How many?” I was like two or three a week.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I was like, that’s your dream, buddy. I get it.
MONICA PADMAN: But then did you show him your net worth? And you were like, is soccer going to get you this?
DAX SHEPARD: Listen, you know what?
MONICA PADMAN: You could have.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Cristiano Ronaldo is doing a lot better than me. I’m just letting you know.
DAX SHEPARD: I just read the day that he’s got a billion dollars this morning. I read it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: He’s doing better than me.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: All right. That’s fair.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
Early Life and Family Background
DAX SHEPARD: So he did. Yeah, he had the moral high ground on this debate. I’m going to start with how excited I am that you’re here. Genuinely. Do you know I was on a 7am flight this morning to Nashville, which is now my spiritual headquarters. I cannot be there enough. And I’m taking a motorcycle trip out of Nashville and riding for some days. And Monica’s like, hey, Reese is available this day. And I was like, oh, I’m going to Nashville with Aaron.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: I said, no, you’re not.
DAX SHEPARD: And I’m going to be dead honest with you. You’re probably among maybe three people I was willing to change my flight for.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Thank you.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. That’s how excited I am to have you. Definitely been wanting Nashville.
REESE WITHERSPOON: We should have Monica come with us.
MONICA PADMAN: I did think that that would have been plan B, but it’s fun to have you here. This is our sanctuary.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I know. I love it. Thank you.
DAX SHEPARD: I wanted to do Nashville. That would have been really fun, actually. Did you see the whole little setup in the barn?
REESE WITHERSPOON: It looks like this, but like blue maybe.
DAX SHEPARD: Is that what color is? Good job. Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I mean, I was impressed.
MONICA PADMAN: That’s Rob. Rob did it.
DAX SHEPARD: Rob did the whole thing. And he did it in five minutes.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That’s amazing.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. You should try to steal Rob from us. If I were you, I would make a play.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay. Well, we’ve been talking.
Growing Up on a Military Base
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. So Reese, you’re born in New Orleans, but you do grow up in Nashville. Yeah. What age do you move to Nashville?
REESE WITHERSPOON: I actually, my dad was in the military, so I was born in New Orleans, so we moved to Germany and I grew up on a military base in Wiesbaden, Germany.
DAX SHEPARD: To what age?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Five.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. Do you have any memories of that?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes. Ten.
DAX SHEPARD: You do?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes. I went to German school. I spoke German.
DAX SHEPARD: You did?
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I spoke Spanish and I spoke English, obviously.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Did you retain any German?
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, no. But a lot of Spanish and then I just, language, I think because I was exposed so young is not hard for me.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s no luck.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s so lucky.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I just don’t feel intimidated by it. I’ll throw myself out with some bad Spanish.
DAX SHEPARD: Sure.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Some really rusty high school French.
Language and Travel
DAX SHEPARD: When you travel in Europe, do you try to? Yeah. And your kids go like, oh my God, cringe. Just f*ing speak English, please.
REESE WITHERSPOON: No.
MONICA PADMAN: I think the locals appreciate the trying. I think if you just go and you’re just speaking English, I don’t think they like that.
DAX SHEPARD: I disagree. If they speak English at a 9 and you speak Spanish at a 2, it is very inefficient for them to get through your two Spanish. They’re like, guys, let’s just do it. I do English very well. Let’s just do that.
MONICA PADMAN: True.
DAX SHEPARD: Right?
MONICA PADMAN: It’s a little selfish. Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: I don’t want to, I don’t want to be the thing you practice on.
REESE WITHERSPOON: But if you do it joyfully and like laugh at yourself.
DAX SHEPARD: I like to do that too. To my wife’s chagrin. I like to just find a few words and blurt them enthusiastically as we’re in other countries.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s not even a word in Italy. But that was a word I thought was.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh yeah. And I’ve convinced myself I speak Italian, but I always say capisco solo poco italiano. But that doesn’t mean anything.
DAX SHEPARD: Apparently, the Italiano must.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: I just know pronto and ciao. Because when they pick up the phone, pronto, ciabello.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s just fun.
DAX SHEPARD: I know. I love it too.
Solo Trips with Kids
REESE WITHERSPOON: I took my son on a solo vacation, just mom and kid, to Italy this summer. And we had the best time. I mean, we were joking around, Duolingo on Italian on Duolingo. And he just like, he just went hard at it. It was so fun.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Those trips are so fun, aren’t they? When it’s just the two of you?
REESE WITHERSPOON: And literally, we did almost nothing. We just ate pasta and jumped in the ocean and we just laughed.
DAX SHEPARD: And were you binging a show together, by chance?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay. Yes.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. Because I did the same trip with Lincoln last year to Portugal to go see Taylor Swift.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, my God.
DAX SHEPARD: And we stayed at a great hotel. We had room service. And then we were binging.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Which show?
DAX SHEPARD: The Kristen W. Palm Royale. Right. Perfect show for us. And then we rented a motorcycle and we ripped around the city. And I got home and I said to Kristen, I’m like, that might be the best trip I’ve taken with a woman, like, anywhere ever in my whole life. I think that was the best one.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Totally.
DAX SHEPARD: Right?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Does she love your jokes? And you guys are just so simpatico.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I mean, my son and I just go. I mean, both of my sons, we just, and my daughter. But I’ve had great opportunities to take each one of them on solo vacations.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That’s really nice. It’s really fun.
DAX SHEPARD: And you have some sense, right? You’re like, the whole time I was doing it, I was like, you know, she’s doing this now, but like, this is a closing window. I got to do this now. It’s not like when she’s 19, she’s going to be like, yeah, dad, let’s go get on a scooter and rip around Lisbon and go. I mean, fingers crossed.
MONICA PADMAN: But she was where you jumped off the cliff.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, that looked so scary.
DAX SHEPARD: That would not have been for you.
MONICA PADMAN: No, I would not. I would have passed on jumping off the cliff.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Too scary.
DAX SHEPARD: But you had impressed because your son.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I feel like if any of your kids go, I’ll do it if you do it. What am I going to do?
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Say my mom didn’t do it and I did. You know, like, I have to.
DAX SHEPARD: I’m going to be dead.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That is jet skiing. That is water skiing. That is jumping off cliffs. That is snow skiing.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. I just pray my daughters don’t want to start doing like paragliding or something. You know, I’ll do it. You’ll do it.
Concussions and Injuries
MONICA PADMAN: Wow, this is surprising because you strike me as someone who would, who would not do something they didn’t want to do.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Not cautious. I’m not cautious.
DAX SHEPARD: Human.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: Have you sustained any injuries due to this lack of caution?
MONICA PADMAN: I’ve had.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay, this is kind of crazy, you guys. My girlfriend was dating an NFL player, and she brought him over for dinner and whatever he was talking about, you know, CTE and concussion. Serious stuff. And she’s an actress and I’m an actress. And we both started talking about the amount of concussions we’ve had on set.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And like, that was not even talk about what predates sex. It was like my rough and tumble childhood with my big brother who was.
MONICA PADMAN: Like, you do it first, sister. That’s where it comes from.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, you’re a little sister.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: That says a lot.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Like, three pretty big concussions as a kid. And then on set, probably three or four.
DAX SHEPARD: And just really quick. Ironically, your father’s a head and neck.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, he’s an ear, nose and throat.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, he’s an ENT.
REESE WITHERSPOON: So I take back your research comment.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, well, I’m going to sue Wikipedia because it said he was a head and neck.
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, he’s not head and neck. He’s ear, nose and throat. So he would work on people’s vocal cords in Nashville.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, that is ultimately what he did. Yeah. Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
Memories from Germany
DAX SHEPARD: But back to Germany. What were the German memories? Like, what pops out?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay, going to German Montessori school. There was just, love children. It was a really great environment for learning and discovery. And then every Saturday morning, my mom would give us a dollar and we could walk down to the German candy store and buy gummy bears.
And my mom worked at a, my mom, she was a nurse in, this is confusing and not interesting, but she was a nurse in New Orleans. And when we went away to Germany, she didn’t work, but she was like so bored around the house that she did one day a week at a China, a Wedgwood China shop.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, like selling it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Selling china. Wow.
DAX SHEPARD: To Germans.
REESE WITHERSPOON: To Germans. And then when we came back to America in 1981, she went back to nursing. She got her board.
DAX SHEPARD: She has a doctorate degree.
REESE WITHERSPOON: She’s a doctorate in, she teaches nursing. She taught nursing at Tennessee State University for pediatric nursing. Pediatric. Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. One of them was right.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: She taught at Tennessee State University. And then she was a labor and delivery nurse at Vanderbilt.
Parents’ Personalities
DAX SHEPARD: And whose personality do you have more, mom or dad?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Well, I think I’m a really interesting blend of the two because my mom is just pure happiness and joy, and she’s just like, just Mrs. Santa Claus. Just happy and loves children and animals. And then my dad is more academic and very nerdy and studies and is like always studying and living in his.
DAX SHEPARD: Head a bit serious.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes, yes, yes. My dad is almost like one of those people who’s so smart. He got perfect score on his SATs, perfect score on his MCATs. He graduated with like honors from Yale.
DAX SHEPARD: Why did he go the military route?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Couldn’t afford to pay for medical school. Also, it was the time when men were getting drafted. He got drafted, but he deferred because he had to finish medical school. And then he signed up for seven years. And the GI Bill paid for med school. And like, my grandparents didn’t have enough money to pay for Yale and for med school, so he got it all paid for through GI Bill.
DAX SHEPARD: Right. That’s great. And so he was after Germany, then.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You moved to Nashville, then we moved to Nashville.
DAX SHEPARD: And he was going to go specifically to work on singers.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, I think he was trying to figure out what kind of specialty he was going to do, but he developed that idea in Germany, I think, and he thought, well, this is a good practice to get in in Nashville.
DAX SHEPARD: Did he have any famous clients? Did he work on Waylon Jennings vocal cords or anyone that I’m obsessed with?
REESE WITHERSPOON: One of his clients is living, and I can’t say, but he’d lose your mind. And I wasn’t supposed to know, but she told me.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: She was like, you know, your dad fixed my vocal cords. I was like, what? But like, George Jones.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, George Jones.
REESE WITHERSPOON: George Jones.
DAX SHEPARD: I bet his cords were obvious. It sounds like he gets, he goes after the real rough topic.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I only remember this one time my dad got called emergency. Ozzy Osbourne had to do a concert in Nashville one night, and my dad had to go to his hotel room to help him because he had vocal strain.
DAX SHEPARD: No kidding.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I met Ozzy Osbourne last night.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s great.
MONICA PADMAN: Kind of cool.
Growing Up With Cars and Gun Shows
REESE WITHERSPOON: And then, so I would say, very, very academic and intellectual. Yeah. And that’s not necessarily loved cars.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, we did.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I spent every weekend of my life at the either the gun and knife show.
DAX SHEPARD: Bill Goodman’s gun and knife show.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Buy, sell, trade. Don’t you dare miss it. Or NASCAR.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. This is why you hated my station wagon.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I don’t hate it. I’ve just been on the side of the road with that thing that doesn’t work. And I just swore to myself I wouldn’t live like that. We always had some variation of a 1976 Cadillac El Dorado.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, lovely. This is great.
REESE WITHERSPOON: He had four of them when I was growing up. And we were always on the side of the road, but we were always at a car show or a gun show or a knife show.
DAX SHEPARD: And did your brother take to all that stuff? Were they able to bond on that?
REESE WITHERSPOON: My brother can fix a Harley, any kind of BMW. He could fix any of your cars if you need him. Anything.
DAX SHEPARD: Bring him over to the barn. I think he’ll appreciate what was happening in there.
REESE WITHERSPOON: He’ll lose his chicken.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. He’ll lose his chicken. That’s a new one for me. Relax.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I know what you’re doing over here.
DAX SHEPARD: Is he a brainiac as well, your brother?
REESE WITHERSPOON: He’s an engineering really, really smart. Engines and how things work. He’d fix anything.
DAX SHEPARD: Wow.
REESE WITHERSPOON: HVAC. Oh, my. It’s great, y’all.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Do you call him over to the house and have him?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, he fixes everything in my house.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, yeah. Oh, that’s useful. Okay. So, going to school. Who were you, Reese? What kind of kid? I know what’s happened.
MONICA PADMAN: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Please just fix my hair. I don’t want to look at it.
MONICA PADMAN: Looks nice.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Now I’m self conscious.
DAX SHEPARD: No, no, you. I’m now nervous she’s going to say something.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You know, she’s.
DAX SHEPARD: I’m now acting to that. Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: Okay. He did that to Jennifer Aniston’s hair, too.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, my God.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Funny enough, I’ve only fixed hair like twice in the last week.
MONICA PADMAN: And I was so nervous when you went up to her hair, I was like, her hair, that’s a scary thing to touch.
DAX SHEPARD: But you did it because it’s like a national treasure.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Her hair is like, insured by one day.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, exactly.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s like Guinness Book of world record terror.
DAX SHEPARD: What if I would have went to touch Aniston’s hair? Guys bust through the garage on rappel. Like the security team came in.
MONICA PADMAN: I was nervous for you.
REESE WITHERSPOON: She does have great hair. Oh, yeah.
School Days and Finding Her Voice
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. So what kind of kid were you?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Very academic, but also in my head and very fantasy. Like fantasies and make believe and loner. I was a loner.
DAX SHEPARD: I was going to say. Yeah. Were you popular?
REESE WITHERSPOON: I was very like, I got popular in junior high and high school, but I was like, oh, I better learn to make friends cause I’m going to get laughed at.
DAX SHEPARD: And you joined the cheer team for that I did. Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah. I really. Yeah. I was a cheerleader for six years.
MONICA PADMAN: Seven.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And that was really fun.
DAX SHEPARD: Were you lonely or you just preferred to be alone?
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, I wasn’t lonely. I had these stories in my head. I was writing and creating. I always had a video camera. So I was the girl who was the yearbook girl, the videographer. And I’d be like, guys, this is going to be so cool. We’re going to remember this moment forever. We got to do a time capsule.
MONICA PADMAN: We’re going to bury this in my backyard.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I was that person.
DAX SHEPARD: You were on fire to be on planet Earth and get it all done.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh. And I was like documentary. Like, I was Diane Sawyer and I was investigative journalist and I was a producer. Even back then I was producing. Yeah. And I didn’t know I was producing.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, yeah. And okay, so you went to an all girls high school. Yeah. Yes.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That I loved.
The All-Girls School Experience
DAX SHEPARD: Right. So let’s talk about the benefits of that because I’m already seeing them very clearly displayed at my daughter’s all girls school, which is we went on that campus for the two hours, like, my God, this is awesome. I’ve never seen so many outgoing girls that are just out loud, so confident. I was like, yeah, this was not my school experience. Immediately it was like, oh, my God, I wanted to go here so bad. So that’s kind of the upside. What were the upsides for you of that?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Well, growing up in the south is a, you know, a historically kind of patriarchal place.
DAX SHEPARD: Sure.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Right. So I think it was important that there was this carved out place for us to express ourselves, to not have to present or be evaluated. Be evaluated.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That there, that we were really the metrics for our success were not about popularity or being homecoming queen. Now, that said, there was an aspect of that because we could participate at the boys school, but it was opt in, opt out.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Who were you cheering for?
REESE WITHERSPOON: The boys school.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Where my dad went, my brother went and all that. Okay. But it wasn’t like I was there all the time. It was just like, yeah, I was just into the kind of, I love community and groups of people and I love teams.
DAX SHEPARD: When I was reading about you a lot over the last few days, there’s one little inconsistent thing with you, by your own admission, which is like, you have this incredible confidence professionally and in business and running things and being a leader. And then you’ve admitted to having, like, kind of a lack of confidence romantically young, which is kind of shy. I think when I read that, I’m like, that’s incongruous with what I would expect.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: But I do wonder, is that maybe the one price you pay for going to an all girls school is did you, you just kind of woke up with a lot of options, but you had no experience?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Well, I have my own theories about it. Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: I want to hear it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I don’t think it’s about girls school.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Because I had lots of dates and I dated. I had really great healthy relationships in high school.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Then when I got college, the transition to college was tough. I didn’t have money to pay for college, so I had to work in the movie business and make money. And I was constantly in this shuffle. Like, am I a college student or am I trying to be an actor? I thought I was going to be maybe a doctor.
DAX SHEPARD: Right.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I thought acting was a hobby.
DAX SHEPARD: Had you only done Man in the Moon at that point?
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, I did Man on the Moon. I did this Disney movie, but I did Movies of the Week.
DAX SHEPARD: It wasn’t, you weren’t certain that that was going to be a viable career quite yet.
REESE WITHERSPOON: No. And I came from parents who were in the medical business. They weren’t like, you’re not. They didn’t think it was. They were like, that’s just a hobby to pay your bills, right?
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, that’s what I was curious about. Cause did they not think some of that stuff was vapid? Like being a pageants and stuff? Were they not?
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, no, we didn’t do pageants. No. I took it really seriously.
DAX SHEPARD: What was the 10 state? You won the 10 state.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, that was mock trial.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, it was a mock trial.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I won mock trial.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s way different. Yeah, they must, they were terribly proud of that Middle.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Tennessee best witness or something.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Senior year.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay. I was a belligerent witness.
DAX SHEPARD: You are.
MONICA PADMAN: Which actually has shades of Legally Blonde. I’m like, oh, that’s so true.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I never even thought about it until now.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, that’s funny.
The Stanford Years
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. So you went to Stanford and you.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Were there, but had immediately this, I don’t relate to anybody.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s a big culture shock to go from Nashville yet.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Big culture shock. Everybody was in tech. It was early Internet days. People were coding. I was like, what are you doing? I don’t understand. And I was this artist and I was trying to make short films there. And I’m just, maybe it’s different environment now. But there weren’t people starting short films, like film societies. And there was me and this one kid, Brian, and me and the one kid, Brian and this girl Liz, that I hijacked on my floor, who was in this psychology major. And I was like, let’s write a movie.
DAX SHEPARD: Brian was like, yes, there’s the three of us.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I was like, this is not working.
DAX SHEPARD: I hope Brian is Brian on top of the world. Somewhere we’ve lost touch with Brian, Brian, Brian, we love you.
MONICA PADMAN: He met me.
DAX SHEPARD: Brian.
MONICA PADMAN: He was awesome.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I was like, you, me. We’re out of here.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, my gosh.
DAX SHEPARD: We are ready in the mix, too. Let’s get, we need the dark horse.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I do remember him and I walking past the computer lab where everybody was coding. I was like, “Coding. What’s up for.”
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, my God.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Idiot.
DAX SHEPARD: Was your kiss in Man in the Moon your first real life kiss?
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, I kissed a boy in fifth grade at the roller skating rink. Wonderful picturesque.
DAX SHEPARD: What would you give yourself as a roller skater? Out of 10, were you good?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Eight.
DAX SHEPARD: Nice. Yeah, you could shoot the duck and go backwards and dance proficiently.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I mean, slowly.
Leaving Stanford
DAX SHEPARD: Okay, so how do we decide to leave Stanford?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Wait, wait. I want to hear Monica’s take on why I had bad relationships in my 20s.
DAX SHEPARD: I didn’t even hear your theory.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, we didn’t hear.
MONICA PADMAN: Well, I was kind of nervous.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I’m open to any and all theories. I don’t think it was girl school.
DAX SHEPARD: Great. So what’s your theory? Why?
The Importance of Father-Daughter Relationships
REESE WITHERSPOON: I think, you’re a girl dad, and I’m going to tell you, I think that this is important. And I think girl dads need to hear this. It’s so important what you say to your daughters.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You write on their mind with a Sharpie. It’s not a dry erase board.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: So what you give them, the tools of self confidence, self worth, what they’re looking for in a partner, what they want in their 20s versus their 30s. You get a lot of that from your dad.
MONICA PADMAN: Yes, that is correct.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. You’ll be relieved to know my mantra, since I’ve had them, is, “Okay, they’re going to date me.”
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: So what am I going to be that they go out and try to find?
REESE WITHERSPOON: That’s right.
DAX SHEPARD: So if they want to talk to me, I got to drop everything and look in their eyes and listen to them and take them seriously and give them my time. Because I want whoever they’re with to drop every f*ing thing and listen to them.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Well, I like that you’re emotionally vulnerable, too. I think they learn a lot from parents who don’t pretend to be perfect, who also say, “Hey, look, I’ve had my issues, I’ve messed up, but what I am is consistent.” And that’s what you need in your life. Somebody who cherishes you, loves you, doesn’t harm you. I mean, it’s that explicit.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s a really obvious point. Now that you bring it back to you.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s actually very poignant.
Realistic Expectations in Dating
REESE WITHERSPOON: So Captain Obvious, I always say to people, people dating, you’re looking for a 10, but are you a 10? Do your own work.
MONICA PADMAN: Exactly.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You know, and then go, are we really judging people on an appropriate spectrum? We want somebody who’s extremely funny, completely self made, not arrogant, but self confident. He’s got to be funny. He’s got to be smart. He’s got to have a good job, he’s got to like his mom, he’s got to have a great family.
MONICA PADMAN: He’s got to be masculine but emotional.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s a lot.
MONICA PADMAN: What are we talking? It’s a lot. I know.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s too much.
DAX SHEPARD: Good luck, everybody.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And we’re all just human. You’re also going to need to meet a human.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And he’s going to have to deal with your quirks and wrinkles.
The Journey of Relationships
DAX SHEPARD: I think the thing that’s upside down, I think about this a lot in terms of Kristen and I, which is I think people want to meet someone that’s perfect for them. And if you were to do that somehow, which is not possible, the only trajectory is down, they get less perfect.
As opposed to, I meet this person that’s not perfect for me, they have a few things that I find irresistible. And then through these many years together, it just gets better and better and better. And I like her more and more and more and she likes me more and more and we grow more towards each other.
It’s like if you’re trying to start at perfection, I’m not even sure where you’re going. Whereas if you start with, “Yeah, this is pretty f*ing good, I think we might be able to make this work,” then you come on this wonderful journey upward and I just think people have it a little backwards of what the trajectory is supposed to be.
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, that’s so true. Because it’s almost like you’re making this relationship and it’s a work in progress.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Because I’m a f*ing work in progress. When she met me, you know.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, you’re not fully cooked.
DAX SHEPARD: No, I’m still making pretty major mistakes. I’m fighting guys at stoplights and stuff. I’ve got some growth ahead.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And she’s developing and growing and expanding. Yeah, you’re right. What do you think your girls should look for? Can you help out the ladies out there who are, let’s just say, imagine your daughters were in their twenties.
DAX SHEPARD: Uh huh.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay, let’s just talk about twenties. What characteristics in a 20 year old guy should they be looking for in mid twenties? Let’s talk mid twenties.
What to Look for in a Partner
DAX SHEPARD: I’m just, we’ll be projecting my stuff. Right. So my mom was incredibly ambitious. She was on fire to devour the world. I cannot be with people who are not on fire to devour the world. It’s just such a boner killer for me.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: So it’s like if my girls bring home a guy who’s just on fire for something. I don’t need him to be succeeding at it. But if he’s on fire for something and he’s pursuing something passionately and he has purpose, I think that’s probably the most I would want. That’s the quality I would most want them to have.
And then ideally, I would hope that they had had a really powerful mom. I think if you have a gangster mom, you probably are going to be able to let my daughter shine and not be threatened by that.
MONICA PADMAN: Well, yeah, I think that’s the big thing is having a partner that allows you to be you.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes, that’s so true.
MONICA PADMAN: And not squash whatever shine you have.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And girls have this sort of, right now, there’s a feeling of, “I got this. I’m taking the world. I’m not going to take crap from anybody. I’m going to negotiate my own salary. I’m going to start my own startup.”
MONICA PADMAN: It’s because of you. You’re a part of, you’re someone to look at.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I can blame Taylor Swift, but it is.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s a very confusing time for young people because historical identities are being shaken up dramatically. And I don’t think people know how to find their footing in that.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I think I will also say men don’t know where they fit in the diaspora.
The Modern Dating Crisis
DAX SHEPARD: I had a makeup artist in New York last year. She was super beautiful. She was probably 35. She lived in Brooklyn. She was from Ohio. And I’m asking her how she likes Brooklyn. “Oh, I like it.” She goes, “Well, I like it, but I don’t like it.” I’m like, “Well, what don’t you like about it?” And I’m sensing something. And I’m like, “Is it hard to meet guys here?”
And she goes, “Yeah, I cannot meet a guy here in Brooklyn.” And I’m looking at her and she’s beautiful. And I go, “Are you telling me guys are not coming up to you when you go out to eat or go to a bar? They’re not coming up to you?” She’s like, “No, no dude comes up to me or any of my friends anymore.” And I’m like, “Okay, this system is really f*ing broken.”
REESE WITHERSPOON: Something’s wrong.
DAX SHEPARD: Dudes need to be going up to girls asking for numbers. So how do we, how do we…
REESE WITHERSPOON: Can I tell you? I have a theory about it.
DAX SHEPARD: Please.
The Rom-Com Theory
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay. It all has to do with rom coms and sitcoms.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Do you know how there’s been the past 10 years even, I would even say past 15 years, this decline in the making of rom coms or legitimate big movie…
DAX SHEPARD: Stars being in rom coms and blockbuster. Yeah, Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I think it’s not just rom com movies, but I also think the rom com television show, the television show that you watched when you were 11, 12 and 13, that made you practice, imagine and visualize dating skills. “Okay, I like that girl. I’m going to ask her out. Oh, what if she says no? Okay, well, my favorite character on the television show did that.”
Everybody Hates Chris. And Chris asks out the hot girl and she said no. But the other girl, she really likes him and he can’t tell. So I’ve been watching these shows with my 13 year old boy. Goldbergs is a great show.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I think Everybody Hates Chris, a great show. Young Sheldon is a great show. It’s not just young Sheldon, but there’s two other teenage characters who are dating.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes, yes.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Shows like that where they’re learning about relationship and romantic dynamics.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, and the thing that you pointed out that’s the most important in there for a boy to hear is, “Oh, right, everyone’s terrible. This guy’s terrified. I’m so scared to ask a girl.” And then you go, “Yeah, you’re going to ask 25. It’s a numbers game and someone’s going to say yes.” Someone needs to tell you, everyone’s equally afraid of it and you just got to do it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And it’s a muscle. And it’s also, it’s kind of fun and you’re in the game.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And then every once in a while you have a great, you get a great friendship or it’s. I don’t know what it is, but I do think these 10 to 15 years where the Internet started, social media started, and then we stopped, we started kind of going, rom coms are cringy. But it was actually where we learned social dynamics from Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.
DAX SHEPARD: Talking on the phone. What dude can talk on the phone now? No, I don’t think any kid can talk on the phone.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Witty banter. Yeah, it is so fun. Make the first move.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, I know it’s fun. Yes, but that’s part of the thing with women also have to not just sit and say when no one’s coming up to me, if they see someone they like, they do have. We can’t be like, I want to run the world. And also you come up to me. We got to do both.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay, so do you.
MONICA PADMAN: I don’t do anything you don’t.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I’m horrible. Are you single?
MONICA PADMAN: Yes.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay. Do you ask guys out? Nope.
MONICA PADMAN: I know. Who are you talking. You’re preaching, girl. No, I know. That’s why I can say it, because I fall victim. I’m bad at this. I’m so bad at this.
The Reese Challenge
REESE WITHERSPOON: I’m giving you a job, a task. Yes. Okay. In the next three months, I want you to ask out three different people.
DAX SHEPARD: Wow. The Reese challenge.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I’m going to give you my phone number, and you’re going to text me each time. You did it. I did it.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, wow. You have a life coach. I didn’t expect you to get a life coach out of it.
MONICA PADMAN: I’m so sweaty.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I’m going to give you a script if you want it. Okay. I know this is a little forward. I’ve never done this before. I just noticed that you might be single, But I have noticed you a couple times, and would you ever want to just get coffee with me?
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. See, Reese, I’ve been giving her the same advice, but it didn’t go down the same.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And now I’m giving it.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Now I have.
MONICA PADMAN: And I’m going to.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I’m going to hold you accountable. Wow. Well, okay.
MONICA PADMAN: I will do it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay. You promise? I promise.
MONICA PADMAN: I will do it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You’re looking at me in the eye.
MONICA PADMAN: I will. I know. And now I feel really trapped. I really do have to do it. We said it publicly.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You’re going to jump off the cliff, and you’re going to be okay.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. I’m going to let you enjoy this.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I want to be square.
MONICA PADMAN: I feel really scared. The other day, I was at an event, and there was a guy there, and he did start talking to me, and I was like, oh, he’s cute. And then the event started, and I stepped aside, and I was like.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I’m just going to leave.
MONICA PADMAN: I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going on.
MONICA PADMAN: I don’t know. I have so many problems. I have so many problems. Maybe it’s the thing you talked about. Maybe it’s the permanent sharpie. It’s still there.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Well, I think you have to rewrite it yourself.
MONICA PADMAN: Well, I was going to ask you that. I was like, did you get to the point over it?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah. And rewrite the rules?
MONICA PADMAN: And you did that.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I had massive amounts of therapy. Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: And you were able to.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It really helped.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I had a great therapist.
MONICA PADMAN: I do have a great therapist.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That’s good.
Dating Dynamics and Societal Shifts
DAX SHEPARD: All right, I’m going to hit you with a couple more. I think dynamics. So I think the rom com one is really good.
REESE WITHERSPOON: What do you think?
DAX SHEPARD: I think it’s a part. Here’s what I think. You have a lot of these societal problems, which are one, men historically will date laterally to them, hierarchical, socioeconomically, status. They will date laterally to themselves and below. They got no problem. They’ll date any. You see guys all the time. An attractive woman, she didn’t get out of high school, he doesn’t give a f*, doesn’t make any money, he’s there.
And they can do that because historically men grew up looking at their mother who didn’t work, but they loved their mother blindly. The ladies grew up looking at their dad who was out working and being a breadwinner. So unfortunately, women, this is statistically, this is in my opinion, this is the data. Women like to date laterally or above. Financially, financially, status wise, everything.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: Now there’s this huge shift happening with boys and girls, which is girls are going to college at 63% to boys 37. I know the income disparity. So if you have a system where women are only going to date above themselves, but they are above all of the dating pool, yeah, we’re f*ed. Everything’s got to evolve now.
I think what’s going to help a little bit is increasingly there’ll be lots of girls who grew up with dads who are stay at home dads. They’ll inherit the thing that many boys my age inherited, and rightly so. Women got sick of being hit on by shitty f*ing dudes who were bothering girls out of their league. That was a good complaint.
But guess what? If you don’t want that shit to happen, then you got to start hitting on guys. We’re going to evolve. Everyone’s got to pick up their end of where the seesaw goes. So it’s like, yeah, dudes need to lay off women and employees and people out of their league and not harass people. They should still go up to girls and ask for their number. But girls got to pick up that big hole in this system, which is someone’s got to ask somebody out, right? Or not.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And if girls are going to. And if girls and women are going to have all the money, status and position, then they got to start being willing to get with dudes who make 30 grand a year. Right? These are all things that have to happen to counteract the things that I do agree with and sign on to.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Right?
MONICA PADMAN: I think the dudes, though, still. If they could make 30,000 a year, but they still have to be. They have to be okay with the woman making more and having a lot, and that’s where there’s still a discrepancy.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s their work to do. And again, I do think, as these future generations are being exposed to a family dynamic where it’s like, dad didn’t make what mom did. Mom was the breadwinner. Mom was away on business. Then the dude’s not going to have as much problem when he meets a woman that has that similar passion in the same way that I. That was the gift my mom gave me. My brother’s the same way. My brother likes gangster women, and that’s how it is. So I do think the future.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Is he single?
DAX SHEPARD: He’s married for 30 years.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Three adult, 55. He’s got a few strikes against him, I should say. Okay, I’m going to talk about your career for a second.
Early Career: Fear and Freeway
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: And Fear and Freeway, right out of the gates. How do we get those? You’re at Stanford when you get those.
REESE WITHERSPOON: What am I? Okay. I was a senior in high school. I graduated, and I went and did Fear. I took a gap year.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I went and did Fear.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, before you went to Stanford.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Before I went to Stanford. Okay. And then I think during that year, I made Freeway as well.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And Freeway changed my whole life.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. In many ways. Right. Fear did, because you were terrified that you couldn’t pull that off, and it gave you some confidence.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Well, Freeway was this movie that I play, this really young. It’s a take on Little Red Riding Hood, and I’m Little Red Riding Hood. And Kiefer Sutherland is the Big Bad Wolf. And it’s a sort of fantastical satire, kind of these kids. Her mom’s a drug addict. And it’s just really.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s very 1996.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Very fringe of society. Yeah, right. Or the real edges of drug culture.
DAX SHEPARD: By the time we had Natural Born Killer, we had California. That was the vibe.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oliver Stone produced it. Does that say it all? Perfect. So I got chosen to do that part, and I just. I played this little redneck girl who has this real country attitude, and she shoots Kiefer a hundred times. And it played at Sundance and people. And I thought it was the most serious drama of my life playing this character. And people laughed their asses off.
MONICA PADMAN: People were like, oh, my God, this is so funny.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I was like, is that funny?
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And so that’s when I was like, oh, no, I’m funny.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. You did not know prior to that?
REESE WITHERSPOON: I didn’t know I was funny.
DAX SHEPARD: You didn’t. Did you identify as being funny in your social groups?
MONICA PADMAN: Well, now I am because I worked.
REESE WITHERSPOON: On it, but I didn’t.
DAX SHEPARD: That wasn’t your role then.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I played straight really well.
DAX SHEPARD: Right.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I had this intensity about figuring out these really odd characters and playing them very straight.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And not a blink of self awareness.
DAX SHEPARD: In any fear is fun or not fun. Is it fun?
REESE WITHERSPOON: It wasn’t fun.
DAX SHEPARD: It wasn’t fun. Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: But it made a lot of money.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, it did. It was really popular. Yeah, it was very popular.
MONICA PADMAN: But then was that confusing if you’re like, oh, that kind of sucked. But it did well. The experience sucked, but it did well.
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, I never wanted to do a movie where I played terrified ever again, and I haven’t since.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I just don’t do that well. That’s not me.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, God, what now?
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s just not. Yeah. It’s not my. It’s not my true. It’s not my internal. I’m not here to play those characters. Yes.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. So the thing I hate most in life is if anyone were to pity me. How do you feel about being pitied?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Pitied for what?
DAX SHEPARD: Well, to me, playing that character, I wouldn’t like either because I don’t want to be weak. I don’t want to be scared. I don’t want to be fragile.
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, no. Yeah. I’m not any of those things. And I have a plan. And it’s like, even I have a plan, and I have three more plans after that. That’s the kind of characters I play.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Okay. When you do Election.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Do you have a sense? Because that’s kind of early in the Alexander Payne world.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I found myself turning into the character for a second.
DAX SHEPARD: You went there right away, my mouth.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Started doing a weird thing. Yeah. When you bring up the I can’t. He. Alexander says his favorite thing is that go.
DAX SHEPARD: You’re a rabbit.
MONICA PADMAN: For the listener. A twitch.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, there was a mouth and nose twitch.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I had TMJ for 2 solid months afterwards because of how hard I clenched my teeth in that character. And all she would do was wiggle her nose when she was mad. I’m so angry, but I’m not going to show anybody.
DAX SHEPARD: But my nose betrays me sometimes. When you read the script, were you able to understand that was going to be that?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes. Yes. And my boyfriend at the time told me he was like, you have to watch Citizen Ruth because this guy’s a genius. And I was like, Citizen Ruth. And that was Laura Dern. And if you haven’t seen Citizen Ruth, just do yourself a favor. It is such a satire of living in America.
And Ruth is a drug addict who gets pregnant, and then two sides of the whole abortion fight just fight over her and her unborn child. And I know that sounds very serious. It’s deeply funny. Oh, my God, it’s deeply funny.
MONICA PADMAN: I’m so excited.
DAX SHEPARD: It would remind you of. Do you remember More Perfect? Did you ever listen to More Perfect? It was a spinoff of Radiolab, and every episode’s about a very historic Supreme Court decision that has been made. They give you the kind of history of the Supreme Court. It’s fascinating.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s really good.
DAX SHEPARD: But it talks about. Talks about so often.
MONICA PADMAN: What’s it called?
DAX SHEPARD: More Perfect.
REESE WITHERSPOON: More Perfect.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. It’s phenomenal. And it talks about so often. The plaintiff that they’re going to use to challenge some law in court is they’re not a great plaintiff. Right. It’s like they want to challenge this sodomy law in Texas, but the two guys that they’re using, they’re the worst. You know, they can’t get these guys to show up.
MONICA PADMAN: They have the opportunity to bring it to court, but it’s like a crazy.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, it’s like the nutshell. Showing up, they’re hammering all the time. Like, he’s like, I wasn’t. Anyway, he’s like, no, no, you would. You meet. Yes, you were. And you got to stick with this. We’re going to get this over, you know?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, that’s so funny.
DAX SHEPARD: So, yes, the Citizen Ruth is very much that. It’s like, she’s a. She becomes the mascot for people, and she’s not a good mascot for either side.
MONICA PADMAN: And then she disappears, and you’re like, oh.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And you find her huffing paint, and.
MONICA PADMAN: Laura Dern is so perfect.
The Audition That Changed Everything
REESE WITHERSPOON: But anyway, I saw that movie and I was like, oh, okay, now I understand Tone. And I went in as the character to the audition, and as Tracy Flick read the script, went in. Alexander was there, and he said, hello. And I said, hello. And he said, okay, would you like to read?
I said, no, I’m not going to read today. I’m the perfect person for this part, and you’re either going to cast me or not, but that’s up to you.
DAX SHEPARD: Wow, you really took a big swing.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I was like, it’s just. It only makes sense. I’m the perfect person. I’ve always been born to play this part. And you’re either going to cast me or not. But either win or you lose. It’s up to you. And I was like, thank you.
DAX SHEPARD: You didn’t even read the sides. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Had you run this game plan by anybody?
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, I did the whole thing in character with him.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, my God.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And he was like, wow. I thought you were really amazing at sentence. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I worked very hard on that part.
MONICA PADMAN: Wow.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I. I’ve never, ever done that ever in my whole life, despite the TMJ.
DAX SHEPARD: Was it fun to play?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, my God. So fun.
DAX SHEPARD: Because you’re. You’re on hint. You’re on Hint. When you go crazy and you’re tearing up the signs. I mean, you.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I mean, it was so fun. And Alexander would come up with the most fun stuff. He’d rip the posters like you’re an animal. He’d show me Kurosawa movies, like, this samurai warrior slicing through the enemy.
And then he was like, when I did. Oh. And then I go into the bathroom afterwards after I’ve torn down the posters, and I look at my hands, and he’s like, I want you to look at them like Lady Macbeth. Like, out, out, damn spot.
MONICA PADMAN: And scrub your hands as hard as you possibly can.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I was like, this is my favorite direction.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. You’re waiting for Tracy to just explode on screen. She might blow up from all the tension she’s holding.
REESE WITHERSPOON: He’s like, when you’re watching Matthew Broderick count the boats, stalk him like a panther and go up to the door and look at it like you’re a mom panther watching prey in the wild.
MONICA PADMAN: It was the greatest direction ever. That’s incredible.
DAX SHEPARD: I also like the kind of twist on what you’re expecting, which is you’re calling the teacher you’ve had an affair with, he’s a fing pussy. Peter kept his fing mouth shut. It’s like the opposite of what the trope is.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s like, oh, all this.
MONICA PADMAN: So iconic.
REESE WITHERSPOON: This chick.
DAX SHEPARD: Serious.
Reexamining Tracy Flick
REESE WITHERSPOON: When it came out, people were like, oh, my God, she’s a monster. And now then Aileen Scott did this whole review of it, five years ago and go, hey, maybe she wasn’t.
MONICA PADMAN: She was a child who was groomed.
REESE WITHERSPOON: By her science teacher.
DAX SHEPARD: I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s really shifted. It’s so interesting.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And Matthew Broderick’s character is complicit.
DAX SHEPARD: Sure, sure, sure.
MONICA PADMAN: Doesn’t Support it. Exactly.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And goes, hey, don’t f* with my friend. I’m also going to destroy your life.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s so petty and human.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes, yes.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah. Oh, my God.
REESE WITHERSPOON: But it was fun. We had so much fun.
The Post-9/11 SNL Episode
DAX SHEPARD: Okay, now this. I didn’t know this. You hosted SNL.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: The very first episode. Back after 9/11.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes. Oh, my God.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, my God. How does. How do you not try to get out of that?
REESE WITHERSPOON: What was that whole experience that zero stars do not recommend the opposite of citizens.
DAX SHEPARD: Zero stars. You were coming off Legally Blonde, Right?
REESE WITHERSPOON: I was coming off Legally Blonde and I was supposed to be second. I wasn’t supposed to be the season opener. I was supposed to be the second episode and the first episode. They canceled it because of 9/11.
DAX SHEPARD: Obvious reasons.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Obvious. And then Lorne Michaels called me and he said, I really need you to show up. I really, really need this. Rudy Giuliani’s going to be here. All the firefighters are going to be here. Paul Simon is going to say, I just need you to come out and do something a little light and tell America that you can’t, you know, feel sad. We got to laugh again. We’ve got. We’ve got to get back the national spirit.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I was like, how old were.
DAX SHEPARD: You at the time?
REESE WITHERSPOON: 23 or 24.
MONICA PADMAN: 24.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I also had a baby. I had a one year old. I was a new mom. I had this biggest movie come out that summer. And I was like, but if, you know, if I tell you I’m going to do something, I mean, it has. I mean, there has to be a real disaster for me. Not because, that’s part of my Southern and military ethics.
DAX SHEPARD: I mean, I would say 9/11 was a pretty. If you remember, there was.
MONICA PADMAN: You mean a personal disaster.
DAX SHEPARD: You need even bigger disaster.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Well, Lorne said, if you don’t want to do it, it’s okay.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, but you felt a responsibility.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, he said, if you want to quit.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I’m like, quit, Quit. Never me. Yeah, quit.
DAX SHEPARD: No one will. If you want to be a quitter, no one will care.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s how he does that.
MONICA PADMAN: But we did it and it was good.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And it was like Amy Poehler’s first shows. Seth.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, really? Wow.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, I think we know that. I think we’ve talked to Seth Meyers about that. That their first shows were the first shows.
MONICA PADMAN: 9/11.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, wow.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Can you imagine?
DAX SHEPARD: No, no. Talk about Trial by fire. Was it out of body or were you present?
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, completely left my body.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And did not go again. For 15 years. Because it was that. Yeah, it was really. And that’s not the show’s fault. It was just too much responsibility for a 24 year old girl.
Walk the Line and Finding Her Voice
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Next thing is Walk the Line.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes. What about Cruel Intentions?
MONICA PADMAN: You have so many.
DAX SHEPARD: You have so many. Yeah, I mean, I’m blown by Legally Blonde and two sequels. Mostly Walk the Line interests me a ton because, of course, I’m obsessed with June and Johnny. And I think I was like everyone else. When you started singing in the movie, I was like, oh, oh, damn, she’s going to sing. She’s going to. June Carter. It. How terrified were you for that? Had you done any singing?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Well, growing up in Nashville, I did some singing training. I wanted to be a country music singer first.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And my mother let me take all these country music lessons, and it was really fun. So I had done some vocal training and then I went to this performing art camp for 13 year old kids in New York, in the Catskills.
At the very end audition for a musical, you would do singing, dancing, and acting. And then they gave you a report card, basically. And three experts would evaluate you, and they were like, your dancing can go on the shelf. Okay. Right. You got better. We got better. And then your singing’s it’s okay. Not great.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay. Your acting’s off the charts.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: So you need to focus on that. And it was actually really helpful.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Because you could have been pursuing the wrong.
REESE WITHERSPOON: So when James Mangold said, do you want to play June Carter? And I was like, sure, yeah. You mean not the part where she charted the Carter Family? And he’s like, no, no, no. I want you to sing. I want the thing for them not to be on stage and everything. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, let me see if I can do it. And so I trained for five months. I did it every day. Then we recorded the album, and Joaquin and that band worked so hard.
DAX SHEPARD: You were singing with Joaquin during these five months?
REESE WITHERSPOON: We were all in this one house, Tebow and Burnett’s house, working every day.
DAX SHEPARD: How fun was that?
REESE WITHERSPOON: I mean, so fun and nerve wracking.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Scary, but also fun.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: Wow.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. I know Joaquin a little bit. Yeah, Sweetest. I mean, like, biggest human heart hanging out of his chest, kind of. Do you have that feeling about him as well?
REESE WITHERSPOON: He was different then. He was, but he’s still a sweetheart. He was just in character. He was the whole time.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, he was.
DAX SHEPARD: And how do you deal with that?
REESE WITHERSPOON: You called him J.R. okay. And you asked J.R. how the concert was last night, and you asked J.R. what he was doing last night.
DAX SHEPARD: And really quick, would he tell you a fake thing that happened last night or would he say what actually happened?
REESE WITHERSPOON: I don’t know.
DAX SHEPARD: J.R. went down to Arby’s.
REESE WITHERSPOON: He would talk like that.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes.
DAX SHEPARD: What confuses me about it is, okay, so you’re Daniel Day Lewis and you’re playing Abe Lincoln, but you also have a wife back home and you call her on the phone. So hold on. So Abe. Does Abe Lincoln. Does he call his wife and he’s Abe Lincoln, but we’re pretending Abe Lincoln lived in an era where there’s cell phones. I get really confused.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You know how people do magical reality movies? You have to understand the rules of magic.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s what I’m asking for.
REESE WITHERSPOON: What are the rules of methodology?
DAX SHEPARD: Thank you.
REESE WITHERSPOON: No clue.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s what I want to know. So when you’re asking J.R., hey, J.R., what’d you do last night? And he’s saying, you know, I shot up my Cadillac, are we in Imagination World or did he shoot up his Cadillac last night?
MONICA PADMAN: Imagine.
DAX SHEPARD: Don’t know.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I know some things were true and then other things I don’t know if were true or not true.
DAX SHEPARD: And then when he would ask you, did you feel compelled to act like you or June Carter? Like, oh, I went to the premiere of. I’m trying to think what movie would have been out back then. No, I went to the premiere of the.
REESE WITHERSPOON: There wasn’t. And also, J.R. was in J.R.’s world.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I’m making this sound so crazy, but he and I just did the. And we talked every day. And I was sort of. I would act like June towards him. So you know how June’s sort of exhausted by him all the time? I’d be like, yeah, what’d you do last night, Junior? Yeah, I heard you were out with everybody in Memphis.
MONICA PADMAN: Okay, so you. Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You are playing. You better be careful. Their daddies have shotguns. That’s what I say. Stuff like that.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
Method Acting and Movie Magic
MONICA PADMAN: It probably helped. I mean, living in that space for. I mean, Method seems crazy, but I get why people do it.
DAX SHEPARD: It worked.
MONICA PADMAN: It worked.
DAX SHEPARD: He’s phenomenal.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, my God, he’s so good.
MONICA PADMAN: He’s so good.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s impossible. You want to just cry the whole time. You too, though.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I know.
DAX SHEPARD: When you get on stage and you let it rip. I was like. I wanted to scream. It was like an action scene.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I have another theory.
MONICA PADMAN: Ooh, we love your theories.
Women Make Movie Stars
REESE WITHERSPOON: I think women make movie stars.
MONICA PADMAN: Women make male movie stars.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I think the woman, if you respect the woman that is looking at this man like you hung the stars, you are the guy, you’re him. The quality of the level of woman that is opposite of you is what makes a man a movie star. And I’m not. I’m saying that in context of Joaquin because I remember, I remember I saw it when it was done and I called. He was Joaquin then. And I called Joaquin. I go, dude, I make you look. And I was being funny.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I did kind of mean it. I’m like, you and I are really good together. And he was like, well, I’m not seeing it.
MONICA PADMAN: I won’t watch it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I’m a Terry Wagner. Got it.
DAX SHEPARD: I’m not Johnny anymore.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I saw him two years ago. We were just shooting the shit. And he goes, I finally saw the movie. And I go, finally, you did. And he goes, yeah, Rooney made me watch it. I was like. I go, what’d you think? He goes, it made me look really good.
MONICA PADMAN: So good. I love that. I love that.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, listen, you’re so right. And it’s even in real life, why does America like me? 85% of it is, oh, this woman we love and trust a lot loves him. He must. This whole scary side of him. Yes. All the scary stuff, the addiction and the motorcycle. It’s like, well, this very trusted source seems to think he’s just fine and safe. I am. I feel that way too.
REESE WITHERSPOON: So thank you for acknowledging that.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, it’s a thousand percent what’s been going on. And then, by the way, I validate her in a weird way because for the people that are like, oh, she’s a goody goody and she’s perfect. They’re like, well, no, this scumbag’s with her. She must have some naughty. You know.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah. You’re trying to be funny, but you’re not.
DAX SHEPARD: No, no, no. This is really a dynamic that’s happening, which is. We’re both totally fine with.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s fantastic.
MONICA PADMAN: It also happens in day to day. I think in anyone’s circles.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Like if.
MONICA PADMAN: If a woman who. Yeah. You respect or think has high standards is dating someone.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Exactly.
MONICA PADMAN: Then you’re like, oh, there’s probably something to this guy.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s the anointer from the status thing that we just. A woman can anoint a man and a man can anoint a woman.
REESE WITHERSPOON: So you guys had some expert on about status anointing.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: So that’s what. What I’m talking about. Titanic without Kate Winslet. Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: No.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Who doesn’t respect and admire Kate Winslet comes in. In that voice, and she’s doing any other thing and. And she’s like, my last words are about my love for this. I think it cemented him as one of the biggest movie stars of all time. She made him.
MONICA PADMAN: And look, he’s very, very talented.
REESE WITHERSPOON: But I’m just saying there’s a role for the way women make men seem on film.
DAX SHEPARD: A thousand percent.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I love this theory.
MONICA PADMAN: I think it’s great.
DAX SHEPARD: I think that’s bulletproof.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Would you say. Would you say some of these guys are maybe a little different off screen?
DAX SHEPARD: Can I tell you? That’s why this is, by the way, Is that fair? This is my complaint. This is my complaint all the time when we’re watching something, Chris and I, I go, hold on. Why is she with this guy? Or why is he with this woman?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Thank you.
DAX SHEPARD: I’ve just lowered my assessment of him or her based on this f*ing loser they’re with.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I think every movie star guy should really think hard about what makes you look young or virile or hot.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Versus what makes you look substantive. And I think it goes for guys in the real world too.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Women make you look respectable or substantive.
DAX SHEPARD: Or deep or insecure, or does.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It make you look like your insecurities hanging out? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe it takes all kinds. I’m sitting here casting judgment on men who date younger women. This is not a moratorium on what I think about dating. No, totally.
MONICA PADMAN: I don’t want to feel judgy, but.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I will say, I’m like, I will leave a dinner party and go, that guy has a really cool wife. He must be pretty cool.
MONICA PADMAN: Exactly.
DAX SHEPARD: A thousand percent.
REESE WITHERSPOON: His wife is awesome.
DAX SHEPARD: Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert. If you. Similarly, if you’re a super high status, beautiful woman and your partner is an intellectual or somebody, I think I’m like, that’s awesome. You had your pick of the litter and that was your pick. I’m like, double in on you.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, yeah, I agree.
DAX SHEPARD: It goes all the directions.
MONICA PADMAN: I think it’s really smart.
Gender Dynamics in Interviews
REESE WITHERSPOON: Can I ask you a question?
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: The last three podcasts I’ve done, people ask me a lot about dating and marriage and relationships. And I’m just so curious because every format that I listen to, other people be interviewed. They don’t ask them the same amount of stuff. Or is it just because I talk about it a lot?
DAX SHEPARD: Well, let’s be clear. And we’re going to rewind the tape. I actually haven’t asked you about dating. It has come up very naturally. Yes. Because you brought up how a woman can validate a movie star, which then led quite naturally into in real life. Because I said, yeah, that has happened to me in real life with Kristen.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, I see.
DAX SHEPARD: And then we’re talking about who do date and what. What does that say about you? And then we’re just here.
REESE WITHERSPOON: But then we talked about my early relationships and why did. Is it because I went to girls?
DAX SHEPARD: But that was a confidence question.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I didn’t enter. This is not calling you out or anything. I really am curious.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Because I did this interview with this podcast, and then the next week they had on a very famous older actor. They did not ask him one thing about being a dad. They didn’t ask him one thing about dating. They asked me 75% of my questions were about being a mom.
MONICA PADMAN: And I was like, is that.
REESE WITHERSPOON: The most interesting, being a mom?
MONICA PADMAN: I mean, it is. It’s a part of your life. It’s not everything, though.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I don’t know.
MONICA PADMAN: But is it just, are we more inclined to ask a thousand percent?
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I don’t have any problem talking about it. Do people ask you about being a dad?
DAX SHEPARD: No, they didn’t ever. They’re not interested.
REESE WITHERSPOON: See, I would like for you guys to ask more.
MONICA PADMAN: Guys, we talk about—
DAX SHEPARD: If I get any heat, it’s because I do talk to dudes about having kids all the time, and we talk to men about relationships.
MONICA PADMAN: I think what is happening is the more open somebody is, the more we are wanting to talk about those more intimate conversations like romance and dating and dads and all of these things.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I guess, you know, historically I’ve been through a lot, and people know it. Like, I’m going through a lot. I’m turning 50 this next year. And people grew up with me. Exactly. And it’s a beautiful thing that they were like, okay, when she was 14, I was 14. There’s this historical context. We’re like, oh, when I broke up, oh, I had a girlfriend and we broke up and she got divorced. And so I fit in their, I guess, their timeline.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. And can I tell you 100% what my intentions are? Like, my curiosity about the lack of confidence in dating. I don’t need to know who you dated. I don’t want to know anything juicy. I want to know how you didn’t have confidence in there. That’s an interest of that.
REESE WITHERSPOON: How I didn’t have confidence? Yes.
DAX SHEPARD: Like, that interests me. If anything I’m interested in about your public stuff is like, you played June Carter, and this is a woman who is like, I don’t give a f* if you think I’m nasty because I’ve had different husbands or I got two kids from two different. Like, you got to play this woman who owned it in a time which was much harder, I imagine, to own.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And there was a religious overlay too, of course.
DAX SHEPARD: And she’s in Nashville. Like, there’s a lot going on there. And so that’s of great interest to me.
REESE WITHERSPOON: The religious judgment piece, too, is really interesting as I find a lot of women from the Southeast kind of challenging their ideas of happiness and what is acceptable, what is not. As social mores are changing, their faith is still intact, but they want their faith to include a more tolerant, acceptant version of Christianity.
Nashville Values and Culture
DAX SHEPARD: Okay, great. This is great. And I wanted to do this more towards the end, but here we are. So I have loved so much the summer we spent in Nashville for so many different reasons. I’ve talked about it ad nauseam on here. But one thing is, I’ve been here for 30 years. It has its values. Detroit had its values and its virtues. No one’s got a monopoly on good things.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s like everything is trade offs, right?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: I met 60 people probably this summer. Talk to them. I never once had one person tell me what they did for a living.
MONICA PADMAN: I love that.
DAX SHEPARD: I loved it. I’m loving all that. And then we get to a fun moment where it clashes for me.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: Which is where I’m out to eat with our really two best friends there. And I f*ing love them. You know them now.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I do.
DAX SHEPARD: Yep.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
Parenting Styles and Regional Differences
DAX SHEPARD: She says to me, my friend, that if she said it very kindly, but she’s basically like, they’re kind of shook with how our daughters will talk back to us or to anybody.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: Because it’s very un-Southern right down there. Everyone’s like, hi, Ms. Kristen. Hi, Mr. Dax. This whole, you’re a kid and there’s something I appreciate about that. And she’s like, yeah, your kids will let it rip. Like they have no, seem to have no kind of respect is what she was saying.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: And feeling a little entitled. And I said, you’re dead right. Oh, they do talk back and they are not respectful. And I can understand where that seems completely unruly. But I want you to know what I’m prioritizing with, like when they’re 19 and their boss is a f*ing creep, I want them to talk back. I want them to be disrespectful. I want them to always advocate for themselves whether I think they’re right or wrong.
And yeah, I’m willing to deal with this thing that is embarrassing at a restaurant for y’all, but I can deal with that. I can handle that.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: Because I want this other thing for them as women.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, I understand.
DAX SHEPARD: And she was like, yeah, that’s a pretty good point. Like, then we start, right? Exploring. Yeah, there is a price to pay. So all these things are trade offs and you’re just trying to figure out, where do I want to land in here and what peace do I want to steal from? What think?
REESE WITHERSPOON: I think it’s great that you’re able to try and, you know, try something on, you know, try and assimilate to a different group of people. I don’t have this overlay judgment of political assignment to good or bad.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, same. But my question was you have moved back to Nashville.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. So what things since you’ve landed, are you, oh, yeah, I miss this so much. And which part of you are, I’ve been somewhere else for a while. This is a little, I’m having to adjust to this.
Moving Back to Nashville
REESE WITHERSPOON: Gosh, a lot of different stuff. I enjoy it because I grew up there, so I know the back roads. I literally know the fastest way to get to anywhere.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I know where the good frozen yogurt shops are. I know where they make the best chocolate pie. So it’s all those creature comforts of being in your hometown.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes.
REESE WITHERSPOON: A lot of the, I feel like the artistic sensibility there is open source. Right. So if I know a great bass player, I’m going to tell you who they are. I’m going to have a singer, songwriter and I can, you come and add on. It’s not like gatekeeping and closed doors.
DAX SHEPARD: Super collaborative.
REESE WITHERSPOON: So I find as an artist, even though I’m not a musician and I don’t participate in that part of it, but I find for my artist friends that move there in the music world, they’re like, oh my God, everybody’s so welcoming. Yes. And they’ll be honest, like, I don’t have time, but I can find somebody for you.
DAX SHEPARD: Yep. Yep.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And most people are just good people. Most people just put their pants on, go to work, pick up their kids, try and pay their bills, and everybody’s, everyone’s suffering. But I just do feel like the temperature comes down because the cost of living is so much lower. Even though people there will be like, it’s insane.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. And it’s our fault too.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s growing. Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s Californians fault.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s actually you and Kristen.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s my tipping point. Singularly us. Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You are the tipping point. You keep promoting it. You keep promoting it.
DAX SHEPARD: Sorry. I talk about things I love.
REESE WITHERSPOON: The parts that are hard. I don’t know none.
MONICA PADMAN: Not really.
REESE WITHERSPOON: My whole family’s there, so it just makes sense. My life easier.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. And how nice is it to have for your youngest son that network so present?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Really great. I think it’s just really great. Two sets of grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins, and I think it’s been really good for our family.
Gone Before Goodbye
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. I want to talk about Gone Before Goodbye.
MONICA PADMAN: Yay.
DAX SHEPARD: You wrote a book.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes, I wrote a book.
DAX SHEPARD: You wrote a book and you wrote it with Harlan Coben. Who? I didn’t really, I was ignorant on Harlan Coben.
MONICA PADMAN: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: Do you know Harlan Coben? No. International best selling book, but has nine shows on Netflix.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, my God.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Nine shows, including the number one last year called Fool Me Once. He’s this amazing, prolific writer, but also the world’s nicest human who just thinks of, he’s a master at what he does. Twists and turns. And I met him at a conference nine years ago and I just kind of been watching his work and all of a sudden I’m like, hey, I loved your Netflix show. Just stayed in touch.
And his wife is this amazing, she worked at Columbia and med school. She was the head of admissions and she’s a pediatrician. And we just became friends. And I had this idea about a female surgeon falling into this world of private wealth and private surgeries. And I called Harlan and I was like, I have kind of a crazy idea. And he was like, okay. And I pitched it to him and he was like, this is really good.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, good, good, good, good.
REESE WITHERSPOON: So we wrote it together.
DAX SHEPARD: What’s that process like? How do you write together?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Well, I had about the first hundred pages in my mind already worked out.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah. And I defined the character and everything, and then he helped me. I didn’t know what was going to happen. The message and I didn’t know how it was going to end. And we just sat down and started brainstorming. Probably every other week, five hours.
DAX SHEPARD: You would get together in person. Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And then we would send endless, he’d write a chapter, send it to me. I’d say, she doesn’t talk like this. She would talk like that.
DAX SHEPARD: Right, right, right.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Women don’t. Like one thing that he kept saying she was hot. Like, every person would say, she’s so hot. You’re hot. You’re hot. I was like, why is everybody calling her hot? Like, why does that matter? So we got it down to one, one person saying she was hot.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. So, yeah, the book is following Maggie McCabe. And yes, she was a military surgeon. A military surgeon. Nod to dad.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Like my dad.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. But she has lost her medical license. She’s in a bad situation.
REESE WITHERSPOON: She’s in a bad way. She started taking some, you know, pills and got a little sideways during a surgery. And lots of medical—
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, she’s got—
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: So she’s kind of f*ed because she can’t do the things she’s great at.
REESE WITHERSPOON: She’s being sued for malpractice. She’s lost her medical license. She’s down on her luck. And she gets approached at an event.
DAX SHEPARD: From an old colleague.
REESE WITHERSPOON: An old colleague, someone who knew her mother, and says, I have an offer, and if you—
DAX SHEPARD: And he’s a plastic surgeon.
The Plastic Surgeon Premise
REESE WITHERSPOON: He’s a plastic surgeon. She said, if you come to New York, there’s going to be somebody in another room, and I’m going to look the other way if you want to take this offer. And so she gets hired to go to Russia to work on an oligarch and his girlfriend secretly. And she gets stuck in a crazy, almost Jason Bourne type world.
MONICA PADMAN: Yes.
DAX SHEPARD: But also, it’s also believable, right? Because there are people with kind of unimaginable wealth around the world. And discretion is the number one value proposition.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Well, I interviewed a lot of surgeons that do this.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, really?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes, really. And that was where a lot of the ideas came from, because they work for NGOs, they go to Africa to work on people to treat.
DAX SHEPARD: Our work starts in Africa.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Right. It starts in Africa. And the world of private surgery is actually really happening. It’s very real people. Businessmen in China will pay. That actually started. I was reading a Reese’s Book Club book.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And in it was a Chinese businessman paying his way to the top of the donor list at UCSF. And I was like, does this happen? And I asked the author, she’s like, that happens. Do people get transplants of organs in other countries and you don’t know where the organ came from? 100%, of course.
So that’s part of it. And then part of what was really fun too is I got to research longevity clinics in Dubai.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, in Dubai.
REESE WITHERSPOON: So I talked to some people who go there once a year. And there’s, you know, the blood oxygen stuff.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: There’s also. So I imagined a world where one of those things, one of those longevity clinics kind of grafted with Doctors Without Borders. And some unethical stuff started happening with refugees that were treating.
DAX SHEPARD: Uh huh. Uh huh.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You start to see it and it gets very complex.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And my character starts to uncover some really sinister stuff.
DAX SHEPARD: And you’re also embroiled in this crazy, opulent world.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Mm. Extreme wealth. Where the rules are off.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Which is intoxicating.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Anything.
Research and Real-World Inspiration
MONICA PADMAN: Were you like? I mean, this sounds so intense and so specific. How fun. But you had to, I’m sure, do so much research to understand this world.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Did you talk to anyone who had an insane? I’ve talked to a couple tattoo artists. They too find themselves in these crazy situations, these famous ones. Oh, I tattooed this chic in a 747. Just the two of us flying to wherever. Right? Crazy kind of situations like that. Did you talk to anyone who had an insane, I did a facelift on a helicopter?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes, you did. On a military plane. On someone who did not want his enemies to know he was under anesthesia.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, wow.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, yeah. And then there’s an interesting biker thing too. Her father-in-law is a biker and he comes in and his network of people in Europe, across Europe comes. That’s a really important part of the third act.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: But it reads kind of like a movie. Fun.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s really fun.
The Audiobook Experience
DAX SHEPARD: And what’s most fun about it? I listened to it. Oh, cool. Yes. And you and Chris Pine. Who I didn’t even know you guys were friends. It makes sense. You did that movie together.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. I thought I didn’t like him. Oh, I thought I didn’t like him. ‘Cause he’s a little shyer than maybe. I also worked with him. I was really friendly to him and he didn’t. Then I saw him in a bathroom. We had these. I was just, yeah, he doesn’t like me. I don’t know if I like him.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Were you being sensitive? Were you being sensi pants?
DAX SHEPARD: I’m very sensitive. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. I’ll be the first to make up a story.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Do you want people to come to you or would you prefer you go to them?
DAX SHEPARD: I’m happy with either. I’m so engaging. I’ll come. I was very engaging with him and he was, by my assessment, I was like he wasn’t interested. That’s fine.
MONICA PADMAN: Dax needs a lot of approval so if he’s not getting it back.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Got it.
MONICA PADMAN: Something’s, you know, then I go straight.
DAX SHEPARD: Into, I’ll start writing a story about, okay, so he hates me. Why does he hate me? I start trying to figure out, were we ever? Did I ever?
REESE WITHERSPOON: There’s so many assumptions.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: There’s the Four Agreements. Is it all new?
MONICA PADMAN: Just telling me about it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Please.
DAX SHEPARD: All to say we interviewed him and I completely fell in love with him and then we went to the motorcycle track together and I adore him like crazy.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh good.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Which is a lot of my favorite people are people.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I love that.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Look at you being open minded to challenge your own assumptions.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s the least I can do because I make so many. But you guys read the book.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes. He plays my husband. He’s so good.
DAX SHEPARD: He’s so good. And it’s, I mean I don’t want to bag on other. I listen to a ton of books on tape throughout the year. We don’t really ever get A-list actors doing it. It’s a significant bump in the experience.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Thank you for saying that.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. It’s like listening to a great teleplay, a radio show from the 30s. Oh, we have performers now doing.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. It’s really great. I’m sure you want people to buy the book and read it old fashioned but I’m going to really recommend, do this book on audio. It’s so fun that way.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I am so happy if anybody consumes it in any possible way. Graphic novel.
MONICA PADMAN: What a day. Are you so proud of yourself? That’s a huge. Writing a book is a huge deal.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Thank you. I am really proud of myself because I was scared out of my mind. Yes. It’s scary and I did it anyway and I was like, oh God, I’m friends with so many authors and this is going to be so awkward. But you know they’re all being so lovely and even if they hate it, I say tell me you love it. ‘Cause I can’t handle it.
Jennifer Aniston and Friendship
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, that’s great. Just tell me you love it. But we had Jennifer Aniston on.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And we asked her, was that this year, two weeks ago?
DAX SHEPARD: It was two weeks ago.
MONICA PADMAN: And then we asked her how you two were different. And then we said, we’re going to ask you.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: And I want to see how these compare.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, my God. I’m, what did Jen say about me?
MONICA PADMAN: She said lovely stuff. Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, it’s just we’ve known each other so long, and we are. We’re very different people.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, but we’re.
DAX SHEPARD: But opposites attract. You know, that adventure is a natural thing.
REESE WITHERSPOON: She’s really warm and welcoming. She’s a big host. Come over the things. She’s very warm and friendly. I think I’m more nerdy.
DAX SHEPARD: She said, you’re Tracy Flick. I’ll just cut to the chase.
REESE WITHERSPOON: She said, you’re studious.
MONICA PADMAN: And you’re a straight A student.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I’m a straight A student. I am. And if I, if there’s a challenge, I’ll take it. But hopefully I’m not so rigid. I used to be really rigid. And I think my edges softened. Life does that to you.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah. But Jen.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I will say I’ve known Jen 20, 25 years. 26 years.
DAX SHEPARD: You had a little baby in your dressing room. I did, yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: She’s always been really lovely and nurturing and warm and friendly and kind and has been through her own stuff, you know, and also has reason to be a little guarded. Yes, absolutely.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s not a very safe world for her to really.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And it can make me cry. I’ve cried in one of our interviews because I was, I just think people are so unfair sometimes that they think they know her and make assumptions.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, they want her to play a certain character they’ve designed. And any deviation from that is cannot be computed.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That’s not. She’s not who people think she is. Holding on to old things. She’s not holding on to old things.
DAX SHEPARD: She’s not pining for Brad Cat.
MONICA PADMAN: She’s doing great, by the way, at her 50th birthday.
REESE WITHERSPOON: One of the biggest testaments I can say to what a wonderful person she is. People from her teenage years, people from her 20s, people who work in her home, every ex-husband, ex-boyfriend was there. She just is a high spiritual integrity person.
DAX SHEPARD: She’s not a burner of bridges.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Correct.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Are you a burner of bridges?
REESE WITHERSPOON: No.
DAX SHEPARD: No.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I have really good, clear pathways with people. And I’m very. I wasn’t always like that. ‘Cause I didn’t have the words in my rigidity.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I softened. I’ve had a lot of shit happen to me.
DAX SHEPARD: Do you think you suffered the most or people around you suffered the most when you were really stranglehold things?
REESE WITHERSPOON: I don’t know. Probably me. Yeah, probably me. But I never held grudges. I’m just not that person.
Breaking Industry Barriers
DAX SHEPARD: What I said to her, and I’ll say to you, the cool thing about The Morning Show to me is there’s been a lot of different ways in which you and her have moved forward. The possibilities for ladies. But one that was still seemed to be not being addressed, was an example I gave when we talked to her was, somehow everyone’s, yeah, we can figure out how to get Brad Pitt, Clooney, and Matt Damon in Ocean’s Eleven. We can figure out how to do that. I mean, they’re all going to get a fortune.
But there was this kind of paradigm where it’s, there’s one leading gal, and there’s only room for her and her paycheck, and it’s going to kill us to even give her what she’s worth. There’s no way we’re giving in a second. And I think that was one of the other remaining kind of doors that needed to be broken. And I think it’s pretty rad that you guys used your kind of combined leverage to go, no, this is bullshit. And I guess you had started it with Big Little Lies. Right. It’s, no, no. Me and Nicole Kidman are going to be in this.
REESE WITHERSPOON: When Nicole and I decided to do.
DAX SHEPARD: That together, you didn’t meet on it. You had already been friends.
REESE WITHERSPOON: No, we knew each other.
DAX SHEPARD: You did? Mm. I must tell you, it was pretty funny from our point of view, because you were looking at houses. Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And I brought her with me.
DAX SHEPARD: And you were like, can we look at your house? And we’re like, yeah, go crazy. We’ll get it unlocked. And then the person we’d sit unlocked is like, yeah. And then Nicole Kidman’s over, and I’m like, oh, yeah, it’s all going down over there. Who’s next?
REESE WITHERSPOON: She’s my really good friend.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, that makes it became obvious.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And we’re neighbors too, so we kind of tootle and sometimes do errands together.
DAX SHEPARD: Fun. Well, it was very revealing. I’m like, this is so cute. You’ve driven 40 miles from your house to go look at our house. And somehow Nicole’s also going to join you, and that’s really telling of what friendship you have.
REESE WITHERSPOON: She and I just tootle around together.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s something you do in high school. Like, what are you doing?
REESE WITHERSPOON: I don’t know.
DAX SHEPARD: I’m going to go look at this thing. Sure, I’ll come. That’s a very—
MONICA PADMAN: Girls do forever.
REESE WITHERSPOON: We all end up in the same place. Like, Shailene and Zoe and Laura Dern and I all just had dinner.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay, good.
The Big Little Lies Connection
REESE WITHERSPOON: We just kind of reconnect, and our kids join in too. We have a ton of girls. And my son comes and there was a special alchemy on that show on Big Little Lies.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That’s really cool. And it felt like a watershed moment, too, for women connecting over their deep, personal relationships and what women’s conversations were really like in their inner lives.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, I found the whole Nicole Kidman storyline—we just had on Alexander Skarsgård.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: By the way, I fell so in love with him.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, my God.
DAX SHEPARD: Playful captain. Playful on top of being gorgeous.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, my God.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Anyways, yeah, that storyline, I was like, oh, wow. I’ve never been in that relationship, but I feel like that’s the real version of it. I felt like I learned something. It felt so real.
REESE WITHERSPOON: In Big Little Lies.
DAX SHEPARD: In Big Little Lies.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: The storyline between those two.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, for sure.
DAX SHEPARD: I was like, oh, this is how it works. I see the trap of it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Haven’t you ever had a friend who suddenly goes through a breakup and says, hey, by the way, I want to share with you XYZ Dynamics, that you had no idea?
DAX SHEPARD: I’ve never had that moment. A guy would never tell me that.
MONICA PADMAN: Really?
DAX SHEPARD: No. If a guy told me he was beating up his girlfriend, I think he would know. That would be a line for me. I would be judgmental.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: But he would say it in a different way. I lost control. I crossed the line.
DAX SHEPARD: I’m like, yeah, my mom got beat, so you can go suck a dick. You can go get another friend.
MONICA PADMAN: They’re in denial too. They’re in denial. I don’t think a lot of them think, oh, I need to reveal that I’ve done this bad thing. They’ve decided it’s not a bad thing because you can’t live like that.
DAX SHEPARD: But the complexity of the cycle I got, oh, this is a cycle. This is a high and low. This is a dopamine deficit. This is sexual.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s also like, is this sexy?
DAX SHEPARD: I bet those orgasms were, bar none. I do. I bet that’s the height of that. I think that’s what you’re playing with and why it’s heightened and then the lows are equal. And I was like, oh, I get it. I didn’t really even understand it, but it just felt so authentic where I was like, somebody got consulted and someone understands this actual dynamic.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That was interesting because that was Nick and Alexander doing that together. And the rest of us were in the biggest comedy of our life. Dern and I were killing it. I was like, Dern, I was blowing up.
MONICA PADMAN: My ad lib is so funny to this girl.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I was like, the Momzilla yesterday.
MONICA PADMAN: It was awesome.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And then I was like, but I’m a little worried about tone. She’s like, tell me more. I’m like, well, I talked to Nick.
DAX SHEPARD: I think some dark shit’s happening.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Nick is rocking in the corner and can’t speak. I’m like, are we in the same show?
DAX SHEPARD: I don’t even know this is going to be on the same network at this point.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I know.
On Aging and Productivity
DAX SHEPARD: Okay, my final question for you is—and because we’re comparable in ages.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes. You’re invited to my 50th birthday party.
DAX SHEPARD: I can’t wait to go. I’m a great attendee. I’ll entertain lots of people. I heard you say acting’s a little less interesting and for good reason, and I share that sentiment. What can you compute or do you entertain or fantasize? Is there a world in which you could devote yourself with passion to something that wasn’t productive?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Well, I’m working on that.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: So I have a hobby, and that’s chocolate making.
MONICA PADMAN: Bon Bon.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And every instinct in my body wants to try and turn it into a business.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And it’s just my hobby.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. Could you retire?
REESE WITHERSPOON: What? Hold on. I’m 49.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I did not read it.
DAX SHEPARD: But you’ve been working since you’re 14, so you kind of, you know.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, but I’m finding new—so this. Writing a book, being a novelist, I could see myself doing this for a while. I have more stories in my head that I feel like with this character.
DAX SHEPARD: Let me ask you this. Could you love yourself and have self-esteem if you weren’t productive? Do you think you have to be productive? You do. So you and I need to go get coffee and stuff, and maybe you could help. Well, I’m wrestling with all the same.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Stuff, and I think it’s an internal drive. And sometimes I’ll stay in the shower since we’re crying. I wish I could turn it off. I wish I could turn it off.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I can’t. I don’t have.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s my hunch. Yeah. So if you just want to do it because you love it. Monica, let’s go. I’m a cheerleader. If you have what I have, which is, I have to be spectacular for you to love me 100%, that needs a dressing. Right. Or at least I know for me it needs a dressing. And somehow retirement is—that’s the challenge in some sense.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I know.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s the life challenge.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It is. And I’m working on it. I am a work in progress on it. And now at least I’m seeing it.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: But you’re right. It’s tied to my self-worth.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, me too.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I feel like sometimes people see the achiever a certain way and it’s really easy to judge. And I’m saying, boo hoo, I’m an achiever because it’s one of those socially acceptable vices.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. Yes. Because it is a f*ing addiction like all others. Addiction. Yeah. You regulate your mood by this thing, correct? Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I recognize it. And I’m getting to a healthier place.
Wrapping Up
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. Reese, I adore you. We’ve been wanting you for so long, and I’m truly flattered. And then I’m going to—
REESE WITHERSPOON: Longtime listener, first time guest.
DAX SHEPARD: I saved my compliment because I know it’ll make you uncomfortable. I save it for the very end.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You’re hot.
DAX SHEPARD: No, you are hot. And I asked Kristen if I could tell you this. So throughout our 18 years together when she has had these big victories and she shined, which she has so often, the go-to for me is always, I’m like, look at you, girl. You’re fing Reese Witherspoon. Our whole relationship, every time she scores a touchdown, I’m like, girl, you’re fing becoming Reese Witherspoon. And she’s so flattered by it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That is really a lovely compliment.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. And it’s the truth.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Thank you for saying that.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I feel like one day I’ll be Kristen Bell.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, I don’t think any of us—
REESE WITHERSPOON: Are good to be friends. I’m so glad it finally happened this year.
DAX SHEPARD: I like it you’re pursuing her, which is I like it about you.
REESE WITHERSPOON: We’re stoking the little flames. We’re being gentle with each other and kind of dancing around like, do you like me? Do you like me?
MONICA PADMAN: I don’t know. Do you want to come to the—
DAX SHEPARD: Opry, you want some bread?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, you want some bread?
MONICA PADMAN: I’m like, okay, girl.
REESE WITHERSPOON: All right.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, I adore you. Good luck, everybody. Check out “Gone Before Goodbye.” I recommend listening to it. And then, of course, season four. Season four of “The Morning Show” is on Apple right now. Tune in before it ends, binge it, catch up. It’s fantastic. There’s a lot of drama, Reese. Be well.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Thank you.
DAX SHEPARD: Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong. Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
Fact Check
DAX SHEPARD: Cute shirt. And appropriately, I have an update. Yes, Dodgers.
MONICA PADMAN: Yes.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. How long have you had that shirt?
MONICA PADMAN: Okay, I’ve had it for a long time, but it’s my first time wearing it.
DAX SHEPARD: You’ve just been waiting.
MONICA PADMAN: I keep forgetting if they get into—
DAX SHEPARD: The World Series a second time.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That’s right.
DAX SHEPARD: I’ll bust out my Dodgers blue.
MONICA PADMAN: Well, you know, I have a lot of school spirit, and I am brand loyal.
DAX SHEPARD: Mm.
MONICA PADMAN: And I am brand loyal to the Braves.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. Sure.
MONICA PADMAN: So that is my number one team.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. But I know people don’t like this, but I like it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: I feel like I’m allowed to have a number two team.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: Because this is my city.
DAX SHEPARD: I know. I mean, this gets into a much bigger, deeper, philosophical conversation, which is loyalty in general.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: I’m sometimes on here saying, you know, I don’t think loyalty should come at the expense of the truth.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah. You have.
DAX SHEPARD: Or honesty. I have some things.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Mostly my baggage from having to be loyal to adults that maybe didn’t deserve loyalty.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: But just unrelated to sports car guys, they like to declare themselves. I’m a Chevy man. I’m a Ford guy. I’m a Mopar guy.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And so regularly, I’ll post a picture of one of my cars. And I am loyal to horsepower. Right. That’s my elite.
MONICA PADMAN: Exactly. Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And so I’ll post a picture of my 454 SS pickup truck, and the Mopar guys will be like, bow tie sucks.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, no.
DAX SHEPARD: I’m like, guys, this is a radical truck, and you know it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And then I’ll post a picture of my Mopar Hellcat. The bow tie guys are upset. And then a Ford Raptor, they don’t. So they don’t like that I dance, and I do that with motorcycles and cars, and it’s very disruptive.
MONICA PADMAN: I think it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, it is.
MONICA PADMAN: It is interesting and philosophical because when I hear that, I’m like, yeah, duh. You should be able to like whatever car you like. But I have no feelings about cars. So it’s easy for me to say that.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes.
MONICA PADMAN: When I have feelings about things, I do have a stronger reaction. Yeah.
Sports Team Loyalty
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. So sports teams. I get heat because, I mean, the Red Wings are my team.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes.
DAX SHEPARD: I grew up. They were the Bulls. I mean, they were just insanely good. And they’re my team.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: But I f*ing love a Maple Leaf sweatshirt. They’re so good looking. That blue with the leaves on. I love the colors. I’ll wear that in a pose. And my Detroit friends are very upset.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And look, I like the Rams, but if it’s between them and the Lions, I’m going Lions. So I like the Rams and I like many teams. And then if they face each other, I will have a priority.
MONICA PADMAN: Yes. That’s how I feel. I feel like I can definitely be a huge, huge, huge, huge Dodgers fan right now, which I am.
DAX SHEPARD: The biggest.
MONICA PADMAN: The biggest. But if they were playing the Braves, sorry, I’m a Braves fan.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s okay. See, my argument is that’s okay. And in a world in which we think that in group, out group, and tribalism cause a lot of our current ailments.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: I think a little less of this.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, I agree.
DAX SHEPARD: Probably better. Enjoy a lot of stuff.
MONICA PADMAN: You can enjoy a lot of stuff, but also be really loyal to your teams. And don’t ever say roll. I mean, are the Maple Leaves. They’re called the Maple Leaves.
DAX SHEPARD: Toronto Maple Leafs.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: Also, that’s so Canadian.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s so Canadian. Of course.
MONICA PADMAN: So cute.
DAX SHEPARD: And they must be among the, what, the first five? Yeah, they’re an original 16.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, wow. So.
DAX SHEPARD: And they hate that Detroit calls itself Hockey Town. Oh, because Detroit calls itself Hockey Town.
MONICA PADMAN: Well.
DAX SHEPARD: And there’s stuff all over the city. Hockey Town. And Will Arnett, who’s from Toronto, is like, you, Hockey Town. You know, they’re mad.
MONICA PADMAN: But that’s because he is also very American.
DAX SHEPARD: Because he’s Canadian.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I know, but.
MONICA PADMAN: I know, but that’s his American side being like Hockey Town. Because, you know, in our pod, Matt is Canadian and he has a bunch of friends who are Canadian and they’re all on these chats and stuff about the Blue Jays. And all of the Canadians are like, good job when we win. And then Charlie’s doing a suck it meme to them. And they’re like, no, we’re happy for you guys.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: And, you know, it’s just so. It is so American to be like, yes. And I definitely fall into that. I love winning.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. It’s fun. And just has to be kept within reason.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
World Series Game Experience
DAX SHEPARD: Because, okay, my updates were I went to the Dodgers game last night.
REESE WITHERSPOON: He went to the World Series game.
DAX SHEPARD: For the World Series. And my brother had just flown in an hour before and it’s a bucket list for him to go to the World Series. And then my sister Carly, as Rob will attest, is a baseball junkie.
MONICA PADMAN: Yes.
DAX SHEPARD: So I took those two. And this type of game and in fact, in all disclosure and transparency was why I was there, which is when there’s these big games, those teams like to have celebrities in the crowd for the television. They got more cutaways. It’s bigger event.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: So I got invited.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: That would anger people. I was thinking this whole thing through. There’s someone sitting here that’s like, that’s such, that guy would get a free seat when he’s not even a hardcore fan.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Sure.
DAX SHEPARD: And that’s a very legitimate point. Unless you’re the Dodgers and you need cutaways.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: You’re like, yeah, but I need cutaways.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s all fine. People can be annoyed that I’m always.
DAX SHEPARD: Defending my tall poppiness. You know, I always have the argument prepared for when I get confronted.
MONICA PADMAN: Yes. I mean, I guess the question is, what, you’re going to say no to go to a fight?
DAX SHEPARD: Then it goes to me, why would I say no?
MONICA PADMAN: Right, exactly.
DAX SHEPARD: Because I didn’t go to every game.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And I am a fair weather fan. And there’s another thing. That’s another thing. Fair weather fans really anger really hardcore fans.
MONICA PADMAN: But of course.
DAX SHEPARD: But why? Of course. I’ll tell you why it shouldn’t be. Of course. Fair weather fans are where the bulk of the viewership comes from. Where the bulk of the money comes. Where the, oh, we got a picture. Oh, good. I don’t even have to blatantly name drop. That’s a friend of the pod, Chris Pine. That’s his buddy Tyler, who’s smiling. He was a great guy. I talked to him a bunch.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, fun.
DAX SHEPARD: And that’s our most sexy member of suits.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, wow.
DAX SHEPARD: And he’s in all Toronto stuff and he’s friends with Kevin Zegers and he was there to support the Blue Jays. And I was thinking, what game is it safe? This is safe. We’re up.
REESE WITHERSPOON: We’re.
DAX SHEPARD: You’re wearing all the Toronto stuff.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, but it’s scary.
DAX SHEPARD: But if it’s game seven and we lose that game and you’re walking out of the Dodgers stadium, which is known to get a little riff raffy, I was like, I’m going to have to walk with this guy tonight.
MONICA PADMAN: You’re going to protect.
DAX SHEPARD: Given the outcome of the game.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Because we lost pretty handedly. But this isn’t.
MONICA PADMAN: What. Oh, no other friend of the team.
DAX SHEPARD: These two were there. Brad Pitt, Flea and Brad Pitt. What a comedy. Oh, now I’m upset. Rob, I’m sorry. I thought everything was good until you showed me that picture.
MONICA PADMAN: I mean, I mean, do down compare.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: You’re with beautiful Chris Pine.
Cute Boy Alert
DAX SHEPARD: So this trip to the game was cute boy alert. I was coming in today to give a cute boy update.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. So Patrick Adams is right there.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: When he crossed and we chatted and I looked in his blue eyes and then he left, I said to Carly, wow, he delivers in real life, huh? And Carly was like, it’s unbelievable. He’s so gorgeous. And by the way, that was our second helping of it. Because on the walk in Monica, I see a very handsome guy, one of the most handsome guys I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s Austin Butler.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, he is excited.
DAX SHEPARD: And I have this vague sense that we have. Well, I know because Denofre was staying at the house for a week, and I know he just worked with him. So we were talking about him. He’s like, he’s a great kid. So I had the balls to, as he turned, I immediately waved at him, and then he immediately came over. We started talking.
MONICA PADMAN: Nice.
DAX SHEPARD: He’s so gorgeous in real life, it’s insane. Carly was like that tower once you did. And he delivers, right? And he’s a big boy.
REESE WITHERSPOON: He’s tall.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, he’s tall and he’s got wide shoulders. And then I see today because he said, oh, my God, we’re both friends with Duffy. My friend Duffy, who was, ding, ding, ding, Brad Pitt’s trainer, who clearly is now Austin’s trainer.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And he’s the Navy SEAL I always talk about. So then we’re talking about bod. So then I looked up his Instagram today, and he’s got a shirtless photo. And my God, ladies, go over to his Instagram. He’s looking insane.
MONICA PADMAN: He doesn’t need help. People are looking at his Instagram.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, and then my brother, he hears Duffy DeCastro. So then my brother says to him, oh, are you stunty? Meaning, are you a stuntman.
MONICA PADMAN: Uh huh.
REESE WITHERSPOON: To Austin.
DAX SHEPARD: To Austin.
MONICA PADMAN: You know what?
DAX SHEPARD: I love that.
MONICA PADMAN: Mind you, everyone, I love that.
DAX SHEPARD: And I say, Dave, he’s Elvis. And then my brother goes, oh my God, you are Elvis. I love that movie. I saw it twice. Lets it rip.
MONICA PADMAN: That’s nice.
DAX SHEPARD: It was hilarious. Hilarious. And then my sister was like f*ing hyperventilating how hot he was.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh my.
DAX SHEPARD: It was exciting.
MONICA PADMAN: So exciting.
DAX SHEPARD: It was exciting for the whole family. And then Shauna and Edward were two rows behind me and threw a napkin at my face.
MONICA PADMAN: Fun.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, it was very fun.
MONICA PADMAN: It felt like a great time.
DAX SHEPARD: It was. I felt popular. Oh, that’s not Shauna.
MONICA PADMAN: But that’s Connie Britton.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s Connie B.
MONICA PADMAN: Got lots of people for lots of.
DAX SHEPARD: Pod mates that were there, there.
MONICA PADMAN: That’s really cool.
DAX SHEPARD: Wow, wow, wow, wow. Yeah, it was a real CMB scene.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: We did lose so too many stars there. Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: They need to dial it back a little bit.
The MLB Suite Experience
DAX SHEPARD: And you know, my insecurity, the whole way there I’m like, I know we’re in this suite that the MLB has and I’m like, I’m going to be in row nine in this thing. This is what I’m thinking. I’m not going to see the game. They’re going to s*. Chris Pine’s area will be right.
MONICA PADMAN: But also again though, the comparison, you as an admittedly fair weather fan, zero loyalty, was invited to go in the MLB suite and you’re like, oh, no, I’m not.
DAX SHEPARD: I’m insecure that I’ll be on the last row of whatever this already rarefied group is.
MONICA PADMAN: Exactly.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. Very human of me.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s so human and it’s interesting. It’s hard.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s hard.
MONICA PADMAN: We’re all comparing no matter where we’re at. Except maybe Brad.
DAX SHEPARD: It is all funny. It’s very funny. You want me to admit the grossest thing?
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. This is disgusting.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Because I get insecure is what it is.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And so when I am talking to a famous person and someone yells my name, I’m grateful. I was talking to Chris in front of the bathroom.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And dude walked by, he’s like, “What’s up, D. Shepard?” And I was like, oh, that’s. I’m good. I’m glad Chris knows. At least some people know me.
REESE WITHERSPOON: This.
MONICA PADMAN: Not that gross.
DAX SHEPARD: Pretty gross. Well, no, I’m grateful for it. I’m like, oh, good. He saw that I’m like, some people know who I am.
MONICA PADMAN: I mean, it just makes. The only thing that it doesn’t make sense about that is he knows who you are.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s not.
DAX SHEPARD: Of course he does, but in my insecurity, he doesn’t think anyone knows who I am because it’s nonsense.
MONICA PADMAN: Because he came on our show, so.
DAX SHEPARD: He obviously thinks our show is this cute thing and he’s a movie star.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: He feels bad for me that I got invited to the Dodgers game, but.
MONICA PADMAN: Do you feel you. Oh, no. Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: This is.
DAX SHEPARD: I want to be very clear. These are preoccupation. They’re actually not running the show at all. Yeah, they’re just. They’re faint thoughts that cross my head and then I CBD pop them. I pound them down.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: That’s all you can do.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. But then also when someone yells my name while I’m talking to them, I’m grateful that the person yelled my name.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Look, so I’m not vain and thin skin still, you know, I have.
MONICA PADMAN: That, if I’m at an event or something. I do. If someone comes up and says they’re a fan of the show.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes.
MONICA PADMAN: Because it does.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: You feel like you deserve to be there.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s getting. It’s getting you over your imposter syndrome.
MONICA PADMAN: Yes, exactly.
Monica’s Gala Experience
MONICA PADMAN: Similarly, I went to an event this weekend.
DAX SHEPARD: A gala.
MONICA PADMAN: I went to a lunch gala.
DAX SHEPARD: Uh huh.
REESE WITHERSPOON: We know.
MONICA PADMAN: I love galas for the rape treatment center and Stewart House that’s connected to UCLA. And it was hosted by the cast of the Pit.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Which is very exciting.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: But so Molly sent me the thing and she was like, oh, she’s connected to that organization. And she was like, maybe we should go to this. And I was like, yeah, absolutely.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Great.
MONICA PADMAN: Because I love Gallant, I love galas, and I love the Pit. So three for three.
DAX SHEPARD: I don’t like Ray, but the other two are really good.
MONICA PADMAN: That’s right.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That’s right.
MONICA PADMAN: So I, you know, we bought seats and whatever, but I was not expecting it to be what it was. It was big. It was big. There were a lot of people there.
DAX SHEPARD: And be seen kind of like a.
MONICA PADMAN: Dodgers game, I guess it. I didn’t expect it to be a CNB scene. And. And it is. What so weird what goes on in your head? Because I was like, I’m going to have to go to this thing on Saturday. But then I had, because I also. We did a live stream for Beth’s debt. So I was like, when I got to leave early, I was like, I got to go for a minute, but then I got to leave. And I was kind of preoccupied with it. I was like, oh, it’s on the west side.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I have to drive over there.
MONICA PADMAN: Then we get there and I was like, oh, s*, this is an event.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, and then. Yeah, it is.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s so gross.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s so gross. There was a line, a talent. There was a carpet.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: And there was a line for talent.
DAX SHEPARD: And then a gen pop line.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Right.
DAX SHEPARD: General population or whatever. Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: And so, you know, we were walking around, where do we go? And I was like, oh, I guess we’re in this line.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. Uh huh. Gen pop.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, we were in gen pop. And I was like. And I was like, well, we’re not talent. And she was like, you are. And I was like, I’m not. Talent is invited specifically. And, you know, and.
DAX SHEPARD: To sell tickets.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: And, you know, then we’re walking by the carpet.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: And I’m seeing the cast of the pit. They’re doing, you know, little interviews.
DAX SHEPARD: You’re like, I won’t hate if someone grabs me and says, are you going to do the carpet? Yes, yes, of course.
MONICA PADMAN: But also no. Because I wasn’t. I didn’t prepare.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: And I saw ding, ding, ding. Friend of the pod, Max Greenfield.
DAX SHEPARD: Sure.
MONICA PADMAN: And he was in, of course, the little talent area.
DAX SHEPARD: He’s not in gen.
MONICA PADMAN: I was looking, and I was like, oh, Max is here. And then I was like, I’m not going to go say hi to Max because he doesn’t even know who I am. And also, I can’t even go into the talent area because I’m not talent. This is all bad. I’m going to go get a mimosa. So then we went, and it’s amazing.
DAX SHEPARD: Leave your house. I’m thinking of the birthday party you went to at all times.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, God, that was horrible.
DAX SHEPARD: As soon as you’re there, you’re like, oh, my God, just get out of here or get a drink or get out of here.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I know.
MONICA PADMAN: Thank God. I was with Molly.
REESE WITHERSPOON: So we were just.
MONICA PADMAN: Then we were just there to have fun. And then we’re walking in and Max is there and he sees me.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, yeah, he’s a very good boy.
MONICA PADMAN: And he’s a very good boy. And then we start, of course, chatting. He was like, oh, my God, I saw Dax yesterday. This is so fun. I switched you guys out and we were all chatting.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And I was like, I felt better.
MONICA PADMAN: And then I felt dumb for feeling better.
DAX SHEPARD: Omada, you’re disappointed in yourself.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, it is. It’s like, oh, I hope people see I’m talking to Max. And it’s like, she belongs.
REESE WITHERSPOON: She’s like, she knows him.
MONICA PADMAN: She belongs here.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s the greatest movie of all time. You Can’t Buy Me Love. He knew if he dated that popular girl, everyone would like him. And he was right.
MONICA PADMAN: They already liked him.
REESE WITHERSPOON: They didn’t.
MONICA PADMAN: Well, I haven’t seen it.
DAX SHEPARD: You haven’t seen it? It’s one of the greatest.
MONICA PADMAN: And I love Patrick Demps.
DAX SHEPARD: You love it? He’s at his absolute cutest.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s the movie that made him a star.
MONICA PADMAN: I know you love that movie.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s the best movie.
Jennifer Aniston’s Friends
MONICA PADMAN: But I. Anyway, and then. Yeah. It’s all so dumb. It’s so stupid. And then we sat down at the table, and this was so sim. This was so strange. These two women come up to me and said, “Hi. You just had my best. You just had our best friend on your show, Jen.” I was like, Jen Aniston.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: And.
MONICA PADMAN: And she was like, yeah. And I was like, oh, my gosh. And she was like, I came up on the show, oh, my gosh. You’re the friend with the podcast. Dre.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, my God. You met Dre.
MONICA PADMAN: Yes, Dre. Dre. And Kristen. This woman, Kristen. And they’re best friends with her. And she was like, yeah. And she shouted my podcast out, and.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I’m like, oh, my gosh.
MONICA PADMAN: How crazy.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, truly.
MONICA PADMAN: And we’re all sitting at the same table.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: But also, what was so funny is I was looking at her, and I thought, you look like her. You look like her. You talk like her.
DAX SHEPARD: Me and Aaron, when people are like, are they brothers?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Do this.
MONICA PADMAN: You start melding, and you become one thing. And it was really.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It was.
MONICA PADMAN: It was wild. And it’s like, who was who first?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Or.
MONICA PADMAN: Or not. Or you just, you become just one meld.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Yeah. Aaron and I have had that forever.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: We’re girls that. Are you twins? And we’re like, we don’t look alike.
MONICA PADMAN: Right.
DAX SHEPARD: But our thing is.
MONICA PADMAN: So your vibe becomes one thing. I think Callie and I are the same.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. And you guys definitely don’t look alike.
MONICA PADMAN: No, no.
DAX SHEPARD: But you do have. If I just squint and I picture the halo and aura around you two, it is identical.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: But it’s a shopping. It’s a shoppie. Sparkly pink Aura. Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: Shoppie.
DAX SHEPARD: Shoppie.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah. Because we shop a lot.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. And it’s just like two little girls that got to go shop. Went to the outlet mall permanently as adults. Yeah. It’s like a fairy tale type. You and Kelly are. When you’re together, it’s a. Well, it’s like when Aaron and I are together, but it’s like when a lowly girl from America finds out she’s the princess, you know?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: And they go over to England all of a sudden. Now they live in royalty.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, wow.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. And that’s you guys.
MONICA PADMAN: We’ve stumbled upon because you used to.
DAX SHEPARD: Go to the, like the outlet stores and stuff. Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Georgia.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. And try to, like, get as much as you could for a buck 20.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And now it’s like the rains are off.
MONICA PADMAN: Now it’s Brentwood Country Mart on Black Friday.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes. And it’s in stone.
MONICA PADMAN: And it’s what.
DAX SHEPARD: The shopping dates are in stone. They’re holidays.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes.
DAX SHEPARD: It.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, it’s.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s.
MONICA PADMAN: It is funny. I notice it too. The way.
REESE WITHERSPOON: We.
MONICA PADMAN: The jokes.
REESE WITHERSPOON: What we.
MONICA PADMAN: The cadence of the joke. Very specific.
DAX SHEPARD: Also, you act differently when you’re around her.
MONICA PADMAN: Interesting.
DAX SHEPARD: And I bet she acts differently around you. And I bet you guys are both joining your fused identity.
MONICA PADMAN: Yes. I think.
DAX SHEPARD: Which is you’re much more. I don’t want to say laid back in a negative way, but you’re very laid back with her, huh?
MONICA PADMAN: That’s interesting.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. You have a confidence and a laid backness. I think when you’re with her, you’re kind of just in playful. I’m in playful mode.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s very playful.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. You’re not taking much seriously. You’re not good. Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: But then also, she’s who. That’s who gets all the information about me with no reserve and vice versa.
Childhood Friendships and Identity
DAX SHEPARD: What I feel when I’m with Aaron, which is kind of a, I think, a healthy feeling. And particularly back when Aaron still drank and hung out in Detroit all day, every day.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Our politics were different. Right. I just think we would be on different ends of many debates. Really. Yeah. Oh. But when I’m with him, when I even consider that I have an identity that would be I’m liberal or I’m. This seems really laughable because it came after. After, you know, it’s like I got old enough to even identify with these things. They came so much later that they feel weirdly fraudulent in a healthy way.
MONICA PADMAN: Interesting.
DAX SHEPARD: Whatever kind of identity I have in the world.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Is this seems laughable when I’m with him because he just knows me inside and out as a little 11 year old before I had all this artifice.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Right.
DAX SHEPARD: Actor.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: All this stuff.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And I like that.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, I do too. I like that too.
DAX SHEPARD: He was a biker going to outlaw bike events and getting in gnarly things. And he had some identity as outlaw biker for a while. But I’m like. But get real. The rest of the world seeing.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, dude, that guy is scary. And he’s a biker, right? And I’m like, no, that’s just kind of this funny thing he’s been doing for six years.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, that’s not him.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: He’s a goofball. That’s all. He really is.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah. Maybe he was a goofball then there too.
DAX SHEPARD: I’m sure he was the funniest member of the outlaw bikers. But there was definitely a much different.
MONICA PADMAN: You felt like he was trying on identity.
DAX SHEPARD: No, I think it was quite authentic to him.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. He was a great fighter and rode motorcycles and was drunk all the time, so it’s a pretty good fit.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And his aspirations were what’s the next ride and the next party and the next throwdown. Yeah, but those are all late. Yeah. Add ons for him.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, yeah, that’s true.
Baseball Talk
DAX SHEPARD: Go Dodgers. By the time this is out, I’m.
MONICA PADMAN: Afraid, who knows what will happen.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s funny because they walk Ohtani every time. And the people next to me are so mad and I go, bro, what would you do if you were on that team? Of course they’re walking him. They’re acting like there’s an ethical thing.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, you know, why?
MONICA PADMAN: Why?
DAX SHEPARD: Well, because they want to see him hit.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Right.
DAX SHEPARD: But they don’t even give him a chance to swing. They announced we’re walking him. Oh, and he just goes straight to first base. He doesn’t even have an at bat. That is weird because why waste all the pitches? Why waste at any of it? They’re just. They can declare now to keep the game moving fast. Oh, we’re just going to walk him? Well, they don’t want him at a home run. They don’t want him. He’s hit.
MONICA PADMAN: He hit 2. Who decides? Both teams decide.
DAX SHEPARD: No, no, the coaching staff on the Blue Jays, they decide. We’re going to walk them. Oh, we’re not going to risk him hitting a home run.
MONICA PADMAN: No, I wanted. I don’t want to?
DAX SHEPARD: No. Oh, so they’re so mad because our best hitter is not hitting the. Yes.
MONICA PADMAN: I see.
DAX SHEPARD: And they want there to be an ethical dilemma about it, but it’s just a strategy. And I was like, bro, would you pitch to this dude? He’s the only guy on our team that’s hitting home runs.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, exactly.
DAX SHEPARD: Why would they.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah. I mean, if it’s a rule of the game, what can you do? You know? What can you do?
DAX SHEPARD: They’re using the robber. I was just saying.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s part of the game.
Settlers of Catan Movie
DAX SHEPARD: Do you think I’ll have a role in Settlers of Catan? For people who don’t know, Settlers of Catan has been bought as a property that’s turned into either a television show or a movie or a series of movies.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And I feel like I was pretty much first one in on the celebrity side.
MONICA PADMAN: I want to be in.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: I’m a celebrity.
DAX SHEPARD: You can be Hay. I’m brick. Hey.
MONICA PADMAN: I call it wheat.
DAX SHEPARD: Wouldn’t that be terrible if they’re like, we got to make the. What do you call them? Not the supplements. The. Those are the four things you can get.
REESE WITHERSPOON: They’re called the.
DAX SHEPARD: Not commodities. Resources. Resources.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, shit.
DAX SHEPARD: What if they decided to anthropomorphize the resources? That would be the worst.
MONICA PADMAN: Well, you’d be.
DAX SHEPARD: Or I would. Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: ‘Cause, strong rock. Although you’d be competing with the rock.
DAX SHEPARD: It might be brick, I think Brick.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh.
DAX SHEPARD: Or it doesn’t seem colorful enough. It seems underground and not. Not light enough. But brick is both strong.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And vibrant.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: But brick is a little dumber.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: You know.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, I think.
MONICA PADMAN: Or is.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Is.
DAX SHEPARD: Is more wizardy.
MONICA PADMAN: Exactly.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. So wheat, brick, or.
MONICA PADMAN: And something green. Yeah. We’re not going to get cast. We don’t even remember.
DAX SHEPARD: This is crazy. I couldn’t remember. Resources. Horses. Lumber.
MONICA PADMAN: No.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Wood, brick, wheat, and ore. Who.
MONICA PADMAN: What am I? I guess the only one that’s kind of feminine is wheat. But I’m not wheat.
DAX SHEPARD: I think you’re wood. Really? Yeah. Brown trunk wood’s great. It’s a life force. You can’t poo poo wood. Wood’s the greatest.
MONICA PADMAN: I know, but I just don’t feel like it’s me.
DAX SHEPARD: And the two best resources are. Are brick and wood.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I know.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s how you win the game. PS if you haven’t played.
MONICA PADMAN: But I just. I’m not wood. You know, wood is.
DAX SHEPARD: Try to say something about wood, because I guarantee there’s a version of wood that would betray that statement.
MONICA PADMAN: No, I don’t think wood’s bad.
DAX SHEPARD: But even. What. What are you going to say about.
MONICA PADMAN: Wood’s everything but wood is I don’t think I’m a tree.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Like trees.
MONICA PADMAN: Although I am a version of Virgo. Double Virgo. And Virgos are very grounded.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: Wood is ground. Trees are grounded into the earth.
DAX SHEPARD: I think it might be helpful for you to say. What? You’re not the most. And I think. Wheat. You’re not the most.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Because.
MONICA PADMAN: Because why? You can be honest.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s flimsy and it’s white.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: White and blonde.
DAX SHEPARD: It looks like a blonde.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, it is.
DAX SHEPARD: Was a hair blowing around.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: In a convertible.
MONICA PADMAN: I would probably cast, Anya Taylor Joy, the woman from Queen’s Gambit.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, smart. I’m going Sydney Sweeney. She was at the Dodgers game.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, she was?
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Nice.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: We is they could tip over.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. I’m sorry. I’m not. I’m not done with the Dodgers.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, okay, great.
DAX SHEPARD: She was there. I saw a photo today, and I was like. I mean, it’s an appropriate sentence for me, and it’s still a great sentence.
MONICA PADMAN: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: But boys love me and girls don’t. If I would have met her, she wouldn’t have stopped. When I made eye contact with her and waved, she’d have been like, hey. And then kept moving.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: Whereas Austin was like, oh, yeah, this guy’s got bigger muscles than me. I talk to him. Okay. Right. Well, you’ve observed that.
Meeting New People
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay. Yes.
MONICA PADMAN: So I’m going to poke some holes.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. But boys in general, just because of these new muscles.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s not because of that.
DAX SHEPARD: She wouldn’t have stopped to talk to me. She’d been like, where’s Brad Pitt? I heard he’s here.
MONICA PADMAN: Okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: No.
DAX SHEPARD: What’s the matter? What’s the matter?
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: Because all this is not exactly correct.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: Men are very interested. A lot of men are interested in your muscles.
DAX SHEPARD: Thank you.
MONICA PADMAN: That is 100.
DAX SHEPARD: We’ve observed it, and it’s so fun for me. That’s why I love them. I keep them forever. I like these young men who want to talk about my muscles. I love it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay. And you can. That’s great for you.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: But I actually, I don’t think it’s the, I think muscles is an easy thing to talk about. Like, with a lot of women. Not all, but with a lot of women. Like, oh, my God, I love your dress. It’s like, yeah, but it’s not, it’s not why they’re talking to you. And it’s also like, I think men want friendships, like, they want to meet new men, and women want to meet new women.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: So there’s just a draw.
DAX SHEPARD: You’re drawn to meet me.
MONICA PADMAN: I don’t know.
DAX SHEPARD: Maybe she’s dying. I think we agree, though, that she doesn’t want to maybe, don’t we?
MONICA PADMAN: Maybe she’s an armchairy.
DAX SHEPARD: I think she’s really young and doesn’t know who I am, which is totally understandable and fine. And then I think boys end up knowing about me because of the motorcycles.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: I don’t know.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I don’t.
MONICA PADMAN: Also, why do they have to know you to want to talk to you?
DAX SHEPARD: Because they’re at a very crowded place where everyone there wants to talk to them very naturally. They’re doing a lot of sussing out of who they’re going to stop and talk to.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: They’re on the move.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Right.
DAX SHEPARD: Keep it moving. And, of course.
MONICA PADMAN: But maybe they’re just like, I am not talking to anyone unless I know them. Like, I’ve met them, and I would really be able to have a conversation, because, I mean, even David Chang, lest we forget.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, that.
MONICA PADMAN: That was a horrible.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, that was a, all your, you just spun out. As you agree. You really spun out. And then also the fact that you were so mad at me that at the Emmys, when I met Noah Wyle, I did not tell him what a fan you were. You were upset, and now you were at this thing with Noah Wyle, and you didn’t even introduce yourself.
MONICA PADMAN: Of course not.
DAX SHEPARD: So, look, you wanted me to do something that you wouldn’t do for yourself because you had.
MONICA PADMAN: You are a famous person.
DAX SHEPARD: I have muscles is why you want to talk to me.
MONICA PADMAN: You are at the Emmys as an actor and talking to another actor.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s a plus one, but go ahead.
MONICA PADMAN: Okay, I didn’t want to say that. Listen, Noah Wyle almost sat at the table, okay. And then he didn’t. He got moved. And I was sad about that because I would have talked to him if he was at the table.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Table.
DAX SHEPARD: Yes.
MONICA PADMAN: And I would have said, I’m Monica. I think you’re going to come on my podcast.
DAX SHEPARD: You know what would have been great for you to say? What? Oh, my God. Hey, I saw you on the Hayride last year.
MONICA PADMAN: Because we already know I’m not willing to lie.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: That’s fair.
MONICA PADMAN: You know, I just, I’m not. So I would.
DAX SHEPARD: I would in that sit.
MONICA PADMAN: I know you would, but I’m not going to lie.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay. Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: So back to your strategy.
MONICA PADMAN: I would say, hi, I’m Monica. It’s really nice to meet you. I think you might. Oh, no. Oh, no. I’m doing a bad job.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, I think you should have stuck with the hay.
MONICA PADMAN: No, I’m not. I’m going to. I’m going to. I would say, I think we’re.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, boy.
MONICA PADMAN: Hey, I’m good at talking to people. Okay. I would just say, hey, I think you’re so hot. I had a dream about you last night.
DAX SHEPARD: There we go. He would be all ears. If you bring up work to him in any capacity, he’s probably going to be.
MONICA PADMAN: Like, oh, no, he wouldn’t, because that’s him. Then he knows I’m relevant.
DAX SHEPARD: I would say, oh, my God, I had the hottest dream about you two weeks ago.
MONICA PADMAN: Him last night. That is. It is weird that way, but.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: No, I, I want to hear it.
DAX SHEPARD: And I’m not even him.
MONICA PADMAN: I would say, hey, I’m Monica. Really nice to meet you. I think we’re scheduled or, like, working on you.
DAX SHEPARD: You’re having a hard time transitioning my.
MONICA PADMAN: Podcast, Armchair Expert with Dax. I think you guys have chatted, so I definitely pull you in.
DAX SHEPARD: Right? So if you’re going to pull me in anyways, just go. Hey, I think we were both on Dax’s hayride last night.
MONICA PADMAN: No, that’s a lie.
DAX SHEPARD: Then you can talk about Halloween.
MONICA PADMAN: I don’t want to.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I want to.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, then the other thing will happen. Listen, start with some sugar and then ask him to eat.
MONICA PADMAN: Listen, I think my way was going to be great.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay?
MONICA PADMAN: And he’d be like, oh, yes. I’m trying to come on.
DAX SHEPARD: Are you willing to wear a body wire for this next.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. Because I want to hear you. It’s the transition into, I think we’re trying to schedule you that you need to workshop a little bit.
MONICA PADMAN: Hey, I’m Monica. Nice to meet you. This is my friend, Molly.
DAX SHEPARD: You are. Were you on the Hayride last year?
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, I. No, you were not.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, now you’re going to lie the other direction.
MONICA PADMAN: I don’t want you to know me from that.
DAX SHEPARD: I don’t know you for my success. Okay, maybe. I mean, look, try it. Try it, try it.
MONICA PADMAN: I’m going to try it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: When he comes on, let’s ask him.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, we’ll make him.
MONICA PADMAN: Now, he’s definitely not coming on because this is.
DAX SHEPARD: We might have just lost him, but do you want to do some vax?
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, I guess. Okay.
Fact Check
REESE WITHERSPOON: Reese.
DAX SHEPARD: Reese. Reese Witherspoon.
MONICA PADMAN: That’s right.
DAX SHEPARD: Do you think in Germany they would call her, I’m not going to do it. Because you’re already nervous. Raised Witherspoon.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, probably.
DAX SHEPARD: That didn’t even sound German.
MONICA PADMAN: Well, it sounded.
REESE WITHERSPOON: What is.
DAX SHEPARD: Did it sound like Stephen Dubner?
MONICA PADMAN: No.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: That means that doesn’t sound anything.
DAX SHEPARD: I do hope because Steven, because I posted that clip. I hope enough people in Stephen’s life because remember I said just pay attention and in three years when we meet, let’s just notice it. But now I hope people who have heard that will start saying that to him. I think that would be so funny.
MONICA PADMAN: That’s funny. But then that’s not a good experiment.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s a terrible experience because I’ve tainted the.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, you tainted the experiment.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Yeah. Reese Witherspoon.
MONICA PADMAN: I think it sounded when you said it.
DAX SHEPARD: Please.
MONICA PADMAN: Do you want to do it again? Are you sure you don’t want to get another one?
DAX SHEPARD: I’ll want to as soon as you start talking. But I’m not going to.
MONICA PADMAN: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: That’s gross.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Now I want In-N-Out because you brought In-N-Out up.
MONICA PADMAN: And now I want that really good. And I want a martini.
DAX SHEPARD: Nice.
MONICA PADMAN: And I want cigarette.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Not a cigarette.
MONICA PADMAN: Anna texted me recently and said you teaching me how to drink. I think you teaching me how to drink martinis is the best thing that ever happened to me.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, wow.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, that’s.
MONICA PADMAN: I just want you to know that she said that.
DAX SHEPARD: I know it’s really flattering, but it’s not what I want for her to be the best thing you taught her. Well, I mean, you don’t get to.
MONICA PADMAN: Pick what the best thing is that I taught her. I’ve taught her so much.
DAX SHEPARD: I just love. Honestly. So whatever makes her happy.
MONICA PADMAN: I’m happy she’s doing great. It’s not like drinking martinis is affecting her life poorly.
DAX SHEPARD: No, she’s thriving.
MONICA PADMAN: She’s very active and thriving.
DAX SHEPARD: She’s fit. Playing a lot of sports.
MONICA PADMAN: Exactly. She’s also a social butterfly.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: So I agree that I think the martinis are probably the best thing that’s ever happened to her.
DAX SHEPARD: You really broadened her horizons.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I did.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. Reese.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Reese.
MONICA PADMAN: I bet Reese likes a martini.
DAX SHEPARD: Actually, I don’t know if she does.
MONICA PADMAN: We didn’t ask. She mentioned High Noon at one point, so I think she, she drinks when, whenever she wants.
DAX SHEPARD: But I think she drinks responsibly.
MONICA PADMAN: I just don’t think she drinks martinis. Like that’s a specific endeavor.
DAX SHEPARD: Very metropolitan.
REESE WITHERSPOON: You mean cosmopolitan.
MONICA PADMAN: But not.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, that’s another drink. So I, I thought it would get confusing.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I know.
MONICA PADMAN: I’ve never had one of those.
DAX SHEPARD: Cosmo. Yeah. Even though you love Sex and the City. Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah. But actually, maybe because of it, I’m like, eh.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, wow. So you do have a bit of me in you.
MONICA PADMAN: I have a lot of you and me.
DAX SHEPARD: I know.
MONICA PADMAN: And you have a lot of me and you.
DAX SHEPARD: I know. But I didn’t like Friends because everyone liked it, and you’re like, what are you talking about?
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, that part’s dumb.
DAX SHEPARD: Right. But the fact that you love Sex in the City but you didn’t want the Cosmo is interesting. It’s like there was a line.
MONICA PADMAN: I guess so, yeah. There was something about the Cosmo that felt like posery, I guess. But I will say, when I was—
DAX SHEPARD: Seems like you would love one. I think I’m going to have one.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I don’t know.
MONICA PADMAN: No, you’re not. And I don’t know why. There’s something about that drink that doesn’t seem appealing to me.
DAX SHEPARD: Pink, isn’t it?
MONICA PADMAN: Pink, yeah. But does it have cran?
DAX SHEPARD: I don’t know.
MONICA PADMAN: Rob, can you look up if it has cran?
DAX SHEPARD: Yep. You look up if it’s good in combating UTIs.
MONICA PADMAN: Vodka cran. Because, you know, vodka cran was my original drink.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, it was. But you got sick on it, so.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah. Or I just got sick of it and I was like, so anything pinkish I think might be cran.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, it is cranberry juice.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: So that’s a no for me.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay, dog. Okay.
Cristiano Ronaldo’s Net Worth
MONICA PADMAN: How much is Cristiano Ronaldo worth?
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, yeah. Maybe a bill.
MONICA PADMAN: It says 1.4 billion. But we know we can’t fully trust the Internet on net worth. We know this.
DAX SHEPARD: We know this. Yeah, I know this personally.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Exactly. So.
MONICA PADMAN: So I—but that’s what it says. According to the thing is the highest.
DAX SHEPARD: Paid athlete currently, yearly, between his—
MONICA PADMAN: It says he is the first billionaire footballer.
DAX SHEPARD: I feel like sports you can get a little closer because the salary is public. True. Making 208 million euros in 2026 just from his salary. Salary. That’s noble. They have to speculate a lot on all the endorsement deals, but—
Italian Words and Pronunciation
MONICA PADMAN: Okay, so you said bellissimo isn’t a word in Italy.
REESE WITHERSPOON: It is.
MONICA PADMAN: Is a word.
DAX SHEPARD: What does it mean?
MONICA PADMAN: It means very beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning.
DAX SHEPARD: So maybe my confusion is that I rarely say it correctly. Perhaps it’s bellissimo.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I think so.
DAX SHEPARD: Bellissimo. I don’t see why it’s a beautiful word, right?
REESE WITHERSPOON: It’s a nice word. Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: You want to give it a shot?
MONICA PADMAN: No, I’m okay.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
Medical Terminology
MONICA PADMAN: You said Wikipedia said that her dad—you’re going to sue Wikipedia because it said her dad was a head and neck.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: And he was ear, nose, and throat.
DAX SHEPARD: ENT.
MONICA PADMAN: But actually what it says is that he was—
DAX SHEPARD: I know it’s a tough word. This is one of the hardest words I’ve ever seen.
MONICA PADMAN: Odor. Henolaryngology.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Odor.
MONICA PADMAN: Henleryngology.
DAX SHEPARD: Game of Thrones. Hodor.
MONICA PADMAN: It does sound like that. That’s horrible. And abbreviated to ORL. ORL. Head and neck surgery or ear, nose, and throat or—okay, so you don’t have to continue.
DAX SHEPARD: Either or I dropped my lawsuit. Wikipedia. Breathe easy. I would be getting some of my money back because I do donate to them often.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Otolaryngologist.
DAX SHEPARD: Oh, odor. Odor.
MONICA PADMAN: I guess this goes back to when you said the thing about prescriptions. And why are they like this? Yeah, this is like that. Like, why is that word like that?
DAX SHEPARD: That at least I hate it. And at least it definitely has a Latin origin.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Those words definitely in Latin mean head and neck.
MONICA PADMAN: Right?
DAX SHEPARD: Right.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Xeljanz is a totally made up word.
MONICA PADMAN: That we know of. We don’t know. Okay. So she said she won a mock trial award.
Reese Witherspoon’s Mock Trial History
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: And so I tried to look up the award and I couldn’t find it.
DAX SHEPARD: But the 12 county nationals or something.
MONICA PADMAN: She said it was like best witness or something like that. But in my looking it up, there was on the Tennessee Bar Association website, it said the Academy Award-winning actress Reese Witherspoon is perhaps the best known Tennessee mock trial alumna. She participated as part of the Harpeth Hall School’s team in the early 1990s. Although her online biography does not mention this important milestone exclamation point. They’re very upset about that. Hopefully this episode, they’ll be really pleased.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: Say it again. Say the name of the joint again.
MONICA PADMAN: Well, that’s from the Tennessee Bar Association, but it’s the Tennessee mock trial.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay. And the hemp. Hemsworth.
MONICA PADMAN: She went to Harpeth Hall School, I guess. Or she was a part of the Harpeth Hall School’s team.
DAX SHEPARD: Harpeth. That’s a pukey word.
MONICA PADMAN: Harpeth.
DAX SHEPARD: Harpeth.
MONICA PADMAN: It doesn’t bother me. It sounds like a harpist.
DAX SHEPARD: That sounds nice, but I’m thinking, I sat down in this scene. There’s a little bit of harpeth on it, right? It almost sounds like harpies or—
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, it all circles back to herpes. You thought herpes was cute, though.
DAX SHEPARD: It is kind of cute in its original form.
MONICA PADMAN: Form Harp. Because it kind of sounds like hair lip. It kind of sounds like carpet, but like gross carpet. My lip just—I got some harpeth.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s a shame. That was one of your really strong features. Someone wrote in the comments on Bree’s episode. Wow. Definitely Realm features.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Because she has—
MONICA PADMAN: She’s well endowed, right? Is that why?
DAX SHEPARD: Well, no, I think they were talking about her face. As we always do. She is well endowed. But I thought, well, now I got to rethink it. I understand what they were saying. Well, that is, she would actually love it. So now I don’t care. Now I’m doing a 2, 180s. I’m back to a 360.
College Enrollment Statistics
MONICA PADMAN: Girls. The stats around girls and boys in college. Girls are going to college at 63%.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, this is what—
MONICA PADMAN: Sorry, this is what you said. You said girls are going to college at 63% and boys at 37.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
MONICA PADMAN: In recent years, a higher percentage of girls and boys has entered college, with rates around 65% for women versus 57% for men. Among recent high school graduates, this trend has been consistent since 1996. Consequently, women now make up a larger share of the total undergraduate student population, approximately 58%, compared to men, who are about 42%.
DAX SHEPARD: Okay, so I was off by 5%.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
The Four Agreements
MONICA PADMAN: The Four Agreements. She brought up The Four Agreements at the very end. That’s a very big book that people love. It’s self-helpy. I don’t know if you’ve heard about it.
DAX SHEPARD: I’ve heard it. I’d never read it.
MONICA PADMAN: People, I—of all the genres, it’s not for you as much.
DAX SHEPARD: Self-help is the least consumed. For me, I don’t know that I’ve ever read even one. I tried to read Eckhart Tolle’s book and I just put it down in the introduction.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, I get that. It’s interesting though, because we have self-help. That category bleeds into so many other things that we do. It’s interesting.
DAX SHEPARD: Well, right, because most self-help books are built on the shoulders of psychiatry and social sciences and I guess the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is the ultimate self-help book.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, that’s true.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s to help yourself, not kill yourself.
AA Meetings and Traditions
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, that’s a pretty important one. How often do you guys at meetings ever read out of it?
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah, in general, if you go to a public—California now, all states have different traditions, like meetings. In Michigan, where I grew up, I prefer you would gather as a big, big group. They would read the—all the preamble stuff, the tenants, the traditions, and then they would break up. There would always be 12 tables. Oh, and each table was a step.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Oh, that’s cool.
DAX SHEPARD: So if you felt like you really were feeling powerless and you needed to work first step or you were having a hard time letting things go and you know, you could kind of pick what step in that. And then that was generally should be the starting point of a share or the topic. I love that. And every meeting, at least that I went to in Michigan was all share meetings.
Here in LA, the vast, vast, vast majority of meetings are speaker meetings. So you go there and they always, always read How It Works. Seldom have we seen a person who’s thoroughly follow our path, you know, the whole explanation. There are some that are constitutionally incapable if they can’t be honest with themselves. It’s I think page 58. And you read three or four pages and then at the end of that, you’re reading all 12 steps out loud.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Okay.
DAX SHEPARD: Then a speaker will get up and they’ll do what in Michigan, we would call it an open talk. And they’ll speak for 30 to 40 minutes.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, whoa.
DAX SHEPARD: And they’ll give their whole story what it was like, what happened and what it’s like now. Oh, and at the end of that, very customary here in LA, then people can come up and do two or three minute shares, but there’s only 10 minutes left for that or 15 or 20, depending on how long the person’s the main speaker share was.
I only go to share meetings. I go to only men’s meetings and we sit in a circle and yes, we generally read some part of the book. Whoever has to read that night can just randomly open the book. Or maybe they wanted to—they wanted to remind themselves of a certain thing. So yes, you do hear the book quote. Interesting public means you don’t hear a lot of the book. You mostly just hear How It Works. Wow. In the event that it’s someone’s first meeting.
MONICA PADMAN: Right. That makes sense.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah. Huh.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Cool.
MONICA PADMAN: And you guys take turns.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Who’s reading you?
DAX SHEPARD: We should. We do a bad job at that. Mostly my friend gets—because he hosts the meeting and he generally—oh, occasionally when I’m feeling generous, I’ll go, I’ll read. Because generally if you read, you also have to share first. And it kind of blows. Sharing first. What’s really fun is to hear eight people share and then it just conjures up all these memories and thoughts and then by the time it gets to you, it’s like you really had a lot to stew on to share.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah, that makes sense.
DAX SHEPARD: But if you’re just cold out of the gates, it’s harder, huh? Yeah. And as you’re reading it, most of us, it’s harder for us to hear it when you’re reading it than just hearing it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yes. That.
DAX SHEPARD: So you’re so worried about reading out loud.
MONICA PADMAN: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: So then you’re supposed to have some kind of thought about what? The reading. But you didn’t really hear it all that well.
REESE WITHERSPOON: I’m actually—
MONICA PADMAN: I’m very impressed that you guys stick to that. Even though that sounds like an annoying part, but it seems like an important part.
DAX SHEPARD: It’s kind of like it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: I have no religion in my life.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
DAX SHEPARD: And clearly religion has worked for 3,000 years for a reason. And there’s something that’s very soothing about the tradition of, all right, now I’m hearing someone read this thing. And yeah, it’s actually quite nice.
REESE WITHERSPOON: That’s great.
DAX SHEPARD: There are passages I hate because the book has all how to get sober. And then the back of the book is all personal stories. Some of them are fantastic and some of them I hate. Some of them are like, they’re religious zealots.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Right.
DAX SHEPARD: And really, Jesus just got them sober somehow. I don’t—
MONICA PADMAN: You know, how many pages is it?
DAX SHEPARD: It’s a big f*ing book. I bet it’s 430 or something.
MONICA PADMAN: Wow.
DAX SHEPARD: Rob, I heard one key hit. I thought, oh, maybe he’s already checking.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
The Four Agreements
MONICA PADMAN: Interesting. Well, the Four Agreements.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: Are one, be impeccable with your word. Two, do not take anything personally.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Ding, ding, ding.
MONICA PADMAN: I mean, I wasn’t taking it personally. Do not take anything personally is a good one. I like that. I mean, it’s very “let them” them, actually.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s really hard.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Well.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, God, do I like that? Because some things are personal. If someone says you are doing something, then that’s personal again. I mean, it’s not about you, actually.
DAX SHEPARD: Not.
MONICA PADMAN: It’s not about you. But I think it’s okay for you to say, don’t talk to me.
DAX SHEPARD: Right.
MONICA PADMAN: Right.
DAX SHEPARD: But there’s a big difference between “don’t talk to me that way” and being emotionally affected.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah, you’re right. Right.
MONICA PADMAN: Or taking that on as truth.
DAX SHEPARD: Yeah.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Yeah.
MONICA PADMAN: That’s interesting. Okay, so four is always do your best. Those are the Four Agreements.
DAX SHEPARD: We read them quickly.
MONICA PADMAN: One, be impeccable with your word. Two, do not take anything personally. Three, do not make assumptions. And four, always do your best.
DAX SHEPARD: I don’t think I heard “don’t make assumptions.”
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, maybe I didn’t say that one.
DAX SHEPARD: That one’s a big pothole for me. I make a lot of assumptions.
MONICA PADMAN: Assumptions.
DAX SHEPARD: Make an ass out of you and me.
MONICA PADMAN: That’s what they say. That is what they say.
The Big Book
DAX SHEPARD: You have the book length? Yeah. So the original edition was 432 pages, which you said 430. Oh, wow. But the fourth edition is 576. Wow. It’s a big book. That’s why they call it the Big Book.
MONICA PADMAN: That is a huge book.
DAX SHEPARD: Too big of a book.
MONICA PADMAN: All right, well, I think that—let me do one more quick.
REESE WITHERSPOON: Make sure I didn’t skip.
MONICA PADMAN: Oh, she brought up CTE. I just wanted to say that you—
DAX SHEPARD: Should get a tattoo that says CTE.
MONICA PADMAN: Yes. That’s it.
REESE WITHERSPOON: All right.
DAX SHEPARD: I love you.
MONICA PADMAN: Love you.
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