Here is the full transcript and summary of Haydn Shaw’s TEDx talk titled “Why Half of What You Hear about Millennials Is Wrong” at TEDxIIT conference.
TRANSCRIPT
The question I get asked the most is, ‘What do we do to attract top notch Millennials, motivate them, because they’re not like the rest of us, and how do we keep them from leaving?” That’s a hard one.
The question I get asked second most often is, ‘What’s the most unexpected thing you’ve come across in 25 years of researching generations?’ That one’s easy.
Half of what you’ve heard about Millennials is wrong. Half the frustrations business have about the younger Millennial employees is wrong. Half of the frustrations Millennials have about communicating with the older generations about what they need or what’s different today is wrong. Half the frustrations that families have with their 20-somethings is wrong. Not wrong because they’re statistically inaccurate, although a lot of what we read or hear about the Millennials, I don’t know where it comes from, it has nothing to do with social science.
But even the stuff that’s social science correct, that’s survey-based, half of it’s still wrong. Gallup, for example – I mean, you can trust Gallup’s research – are doing a conference in a month about the Millennials, and they are suggesting they are the least engaged generation in the workplace. While that’s accurate, it’s also wrong because it’s not the millenials who are least engaged, it’s a new life stage called emerging adulthood, and that’s what’s unexpected.
This one, my friends, is a game changer because if it’s the Millennials, they’re are a problem that needs to be fixed. If it’s a life stage, it’s a change that we need to understand and adapt to.
And understanding that makes working together easier, and it makes being a father easier.
Now, emerging adulthood is characterized by three things: freedom, choice, and change. It actually takes place between 18 and 27 or 28, and sociologists have only been talking about it the last 10 years. It shouldn’t be so unexpected because, if people are living 20 to 30 years longer around the world, then there should be more life stages in there somewhere.
And so, we should have seen it coming, but if only about 2% of the people I talk to ever have heard about it, how do we know it’s there? Because when you ask people on surveys who are over 30, “When does adulthood begin, full adulthood?”, they say, “28, 27.” When you ask people under 30, “When does full adulthood begin?” “27, 28,” it’s the one thing we all agree on.
We all see it, we just didn’t have a name for it. Parents say this, “When I was 25, I had a mortgage and a kid. You need to settle down, quit turning your nose up at the wonderful people I find you, and bring me some grandchildren. What is wrong with you?” Bosses are, “How do we motivate them? They’re not engaged.” Yes, because this is not going to be their career for the rest of their lives.
How do we keep them from leaving? Simple. The research is absolutely clear: a mortgage and babies. That’s when the boomers settled down. They just had a mortgage and babies earlier, as the first generation to experience emerging adulthood. So rather than explain emerging adulthood in business terms, let me show you the most unexpected benefit of the most unexpected thing I’ve learned. It made me a better dad to my three sons.
I have a daughter, but she doesn’t face freedom, change, and choice, because she’s only a sophomore in university, and she is going into medicine, which means her next eight years are preplanned for her. So this doesn’t apply to her, but to my three Business-major boys, it applies to completely; and they illustrate the three characteristics or dimensions of emerging adulthood: freedom, choice, and change.
My son Bart is 26. When he was 22, he graduated with two degrees, got married three months later, and headed off to a very risky start-up. All start-ups are risky, but this was twice as risky as the average start-up. His mother said, “No, you have 500 dollars to your name and a new bride.” He said, “My new bride can work. She can get into any grad school with her grades. We’re fine, and we both want to live in Rhode Island.” So they moved to Rhode Island – which has great lobster rolls, I have to tell you, after living in Chicago; amazing lobster rolls; go Iggy’s! – so they live out there.
They’re quite happy. They’re dirt poor. They have hand-me-down furniture in the back of a U-Haul, and he just resigned last Wednesday. He ran out of money. He’s not sweating it. He’s 26. He has a wife, no money. I would be panicked as a baby boomer in the same situation, but Millennials have an intensification of freedom that the older generations didn’t have when they experienced emerging adulthood.
He said to us, “Why would I not do it now? I don’t have the entanglements of later life – early adulthood – I don’t need the money. We could put it on the credit card, and you’ll let us move back in with you, won’t you?” Yes, one out of every three Millennials lives with their parents some time in their 20s, and that allows significantly more freedom.
In 1962, Alfred Hitchcock made a movie about boys that live at home too long. What was the name of that movie? “Psycho.” That’s what previous generations thought about boys that lived at home. There is significantly more freedom today than there was back then.
The second characteristic grows out of freedom, and that’s choice. My son, Josh, is mellow. He gets a business degree. He has a minor in Theology and Church Administration. He was going to get a business job last year. When he graduates, his mother says, “Go do this residency. It’s very selective. Try it.” He gets in. He is a resident in a huge church in Phoenix. He finishes in three weeks with a masters in Christian education, and he’s changed his mind, and he’s now going to be a children’s minister.
Switches from Business to his minor, completely; because he has choices, and his mother’s pushing him toward choices. More than that, he has bad dyslexia. Fifteen years ago, he would’ve had no choices except laborer.
Now, don’t get me started. I think laborers are amazingly valuable and honorable work. Mike Rowe and the whole campaign to give honor to people who are laborers in “Dirty Jobs.” You graduate with a business degree, you make 45,000 dollars as a salesman. You graduate with an apprenticeship and are able to read a blueprint, and you’re a welder, you start at 75,000 dollars. We need to get off of this not honoring laborers stuff. All I’m saying is Josh now has choices because of technology.
He was on the dean’s list all his years in school, was a TA the last two years. He has choices because of technology the previous generations never would have had.
The last characteristic of emerging adulthood is change. Change roommates. Change people they date. Change careers. Change places they live. “I found somebody in Seattle on Match.com. We’ve been visiting each other. I think this is going to work.”
My wife and I were apart from each other when we were engaged, for six months, because a plane flight was 200 dollars and long distance was 2 dollars a minute. We didn’t FaceTime; we wrote each other letters for six months while we were engaged. They’re FaceTiming; “I think this is my soul mate. I’m going to go make this work.” The boss is going, “You’re my best Millennial. You can’t leave. I was going to put you on the succession plan. Dude, come back. You can blame it all on me.”
My son Max gets three job offers. He’s flown to Vegas and wined and dined. I did not have these choices or these opportunities when I was graduating. And he started in a business degree, switched to IT, switched back to business, and got hired in video and photography because he made a website in his spare time. Friends, we’re talking about change here.
Here’s what my best friend said to him, a COO of a company, Max is freaking out because he has three great opportunities. “Max, you’re not going to be there forever. It’s your first job. Chill, dude.”
I don’t know why the Millennials aren’t loyal. It’s a new life stage. I don’t know why they’re not engaged. Because they’re not 28 with a mortgage and a baby. We all just need to like slow it down a bit, because if we think it’s a generational characteristic, we think we need to fix them. If we think it’s a life stage, all we have to do is understand it and shut up and listen.
SUMMARY OF THIS TALK:
Haydn Shaw, in his TEDx talk “Why Half of What You Hear about Millennials Is Wrong,” challenges common misconceptions about Millennials, emphasizing the importance of understanding the life stage of emerging adulthood. Here are the key takeaways from his talk:
Misconceptions about Millennials: Shaw asserts that half of the popular beliefs about Millennials are incorrect. This includes misconceptions held by businesses, families, and even Millennials themselves about intergenerational communication and expectations.
Emerging Adulthood as a Life Stage: The core of Shaw’s argument is the concept of “emerging adulthood,” a life stage occurring between ages 18 and 28. This stage is characterized by freedom, choice, and change. Shaw argues that many behaviors attributed to Millennials are actually characteristic of this life stage, not the generation itself.
Longer Lifespans and New Life Stages: Shaw points out that as global life expectancy increases, it’s natural to see more life stages emerge. Emerging adulthood is a response to this extended lifespan, allowing for a longer period of exploration and development.
Generational Misunderstanding: Shaw suggests that the misunderstanding about Millennials stems from viewing their behaviors through the lens of older generational values and experiences, rather than recognizing the unique circumstances of the current era.
Personal Illustrations with His Children: Shaw uses personal anecdotes about his children to illustrate the three characteristics of emerging adulthood. His stories about his sons’ life choices demonstrate the freedom, choice, and change that define this life stage.
Impact of Technology and Societal Changes: He acknowledges the role of technology and societal changes in expanding the choices available to young adults today, contrasting this with the limited options of previous generations.
Advice for Parents and Employers: For parents and employers, Shaw’s message is to understand and adapt to the emerging adulthood life stage rather than trying to “fix” it. Recognizing that this is a normal and healthy stage of development can improve intergenerational relationships and workplace dynamics.
The Importance of Listening and Patience: Shaw emphasizes the need for patience and a willingness to listen to Millennials. Understanding that their behaviors are part of a broader life stage, rather than a fixed generational trait, can lead to more effective communication and collaboration.
Redefining Engagement and Loyalty: He challenges the notion of Millennials being disloyal or disengaged, suggesting that their life stage naturally involves exploration and change, which can be mistaken for a lack of commitment.
Adapting to Change: Finally, Shaw encourages embracing the concept of emerging adulthood, both in personal and professional contexts. By doing so, society can better support young adults in this critical stage of their lives, leading to healthier and more productive outcomes for everyone involved.
