Here is the full transcript of Sarah Drage’s talk titled “Alcoholism – The Deadly Truth About Its Stigma” at TEDxFolkestone conference.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
My Father: A Story Beyond Stereotypes
My dad was the kindest, most caring man I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. He was a very sensitive man who would tear up easily. I would always catch him secretly wiping away a tear whenever he got emotional. He was a funny Yorkshire man with the quirkiest sense of humour. And above all of this, I knew more than anything that the love he had for his family was unmeasurable.
Now, you’re probably wondering, why am I telling you this? Why do we need to know your dad’s personality for your TEDx talk? But it’s so important that I tell you. To make my point the best I can, then you need to have a clear insight into the man I called my dad, and a man people called Steve. Because quite often, when I tell people that he was an alcoholic, they have a very preconceived and distorted vision of how he may have come across.
Now, before I go any further, I would like to ask you a question. And I want you to really think about this and be absolutely unapologetically honest with yourself.
Questioning Stereotypes
Have you ever stereotyped an alcoholic? And by stereotype, I mean, have you ever thought to yourself or allowed that alcoholics are weak, overindulgent, and a burden to the health system? Because if you find yourself nodding to those statements, then I would like to say this to you. Perhaps alcoholism didn’t kill my dad. And maybe you did. Maybe I did.
Now go with me on this because I’m aware of how bold that statement was. But the stigma and lack of awareness around a very serious disease ultimately caused my dad’s death. He was afraid to seek early intervention and support, because in his own words, he was ashamed.
Now, there are three facts associated with alcohol and alcohol addiction that I must share with you. And I’ve broken them down into three categories: danger, dependence, and disease. Professor David Nutt, a world-renowned professor of neuropsychopharmacology, categorizes alcohol as the most dangerous drug in the UK, beating crack and heroin, because of the harm it causes the user, but the repercussions it also has on society.
The Harsh Reality of Alcohol Addiction
Alcohol is one of a few substances where withdrawal alone can directly kill you. So to put it bluntly, if you are physically dependent on alcohol and abruptly stop drinking, then you’re at a significant risk of death. Alcohol addiction is widely recognized within the medical industry as a disease, a chronic relapsing brain disorder characterized by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use.
Now, I’m not talking to you today from an academic perspective. I’m not an expert within this area, but I’m coming from a lived experience point of view. I have witnessed the stigma portrayed towards an alcoholic. I’ve seen it, I’ve felt it, I’ve heard it, and I’ve been part of it, but I was wrong. We were all wrong, and I know that now.
So I stand here today to share with you what I’ve learned about alcohol addiction, and hope that in doing so, we can contribute towards shifting society’s mindset so that we can empower alcoholics to recovery, rather than shaming them into silence and anonymity.
My dad told me that he drank to forget. He drank to numb the overwhelming anxiety, depression, and PTSD. He drank because his generation and many other generations taught him that it was a weakness to discuss your mental health.
The Stigma and Its Consequences
So he drowned out the noise with the euphoric effects of alcohol instead. I hated him at times. I was angry, I was bitter, and I even went as far as thinking that he was a weak and selfish man who had no self-control. Growing up, my dad’s addiction was to be unspoken of. Don’t tell anyone. Don’t let anyone know he drinks heavily. We didn’t even admit it to ourselves.
Looking back, we were feeding the stigma. By staying quiet and not being his advocates, we allowed him to get sucked into the shame and humiliation that society currently projects towards alcoholics. On the 31st of August 2017, he died as a result of excessive drinking. Shame and humiliation prevented my dad from accessing support. Stigma was partly to blame for his death.
Now, society often shifts culpability and blames the alcoholics for their lack of willpower, and this was evident in my dad’s case. Following his death, I was reminded that he did it to himself. He only had himself to blame, and it was self-inflicted. Now, if we’re being technical, then yes, perhaps it was self-inflicted.
Reflecting on Lifestyle-Related Illnesses
But does that same logic not apply to other self-inflicted illnesses? Because 90% of lung cancers are caused by smoking. A massive contributing factor to developing type 2 diabetes is diet and inactiveness. Some of the most common illnesses brought on by our lifestyle choices are high cholesterol and high blood pressure. If you suffered from one of those illnesses, would you feel ashamed to seek medical treatment?
Alcohol is a socially accepted, easily accessible, and legal substance, and is part of most people’s diets. Yet, we continue to shame those who become addicted to its euphoric side effects as overindulgent and weak. We shame them into remaining silent and anonymous to protect their reputation. Professor David Nutt very powerfully states, “It’s not your fault you want to drink. Alcohol is a very powerful and addictive drug that’s not only legal, but enmeshed in our everyday lives.”
You see, my dad didn’t abuse alcohol. Alcohol abused him, and he was powerless to do anything about it without clinical professional help.