Here is the full transcript of Aishwarya Rajesh’s talk titled “My Journey To Success” at TEDxIIMTrichy conference.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
My Journey in Cinema
I am Aishwarya Rajesh, so I have done more than 25 films in Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam, and one Hindi film. So, I have done a Hindi film, “Daddy,” it’s critically acclaimed opposite Arjun Rampal. I want to share my journey, why, like how, I am standing right in front of you, okay? So, journey, my journey — my journey is mixed, like this pain, this success, this happiness, of course, this love; without love, it can’t be a good journey, right? Everybody has relationships too.
Okay. I was born and brought up in Chennai, and I am a lower middle class girl. Like I was born, I was brought up in a slum, you know, slum, housing board, so I was from that place. And we are six of us: my father, mother, three elder brothers, and I was the youngest one. My father died when I was 8 years old, so it was my mother who actually took care of everything, like our education, everything. Like, I never felt that I missed my father in my life; she was a fighter and she was not educated.
Now I am going to talk about my mother’s story, okay, so then I will talk about my journey because she is very, very important in my life, for who I am today. So, I want to start off with my mother’s journey. So, she is not educated, she doesn’t know a word of English or Hindi or except for Telugu. I speak Telugu, my mother tongue is Telugu.
So we were three of us, I mean four of us, and she went to Bombay all alone. She got sarees from these local stores, you know, you have like these cheap sarees or expensive sarees and all that. She came down here to Chennai, she went on buses, and she went door to door like friends or family, the nearby people, and she would say, she used to do, she used to sell sarees like that.
And she used to be a LIC agent, how many of you know LIC agents here, and you know how annoying they are, right? Even today, like I am making good money, my mom still asks, you know, my co-stars and all, I will be like, mom, amma, stop it. It’s like that because it is a typical behavior of LIC agents. And then she also did real estate, like what not, like everything to just, you know, feed us, and she gave us like good education in high standard schools.
I was studying in Sree Vidyanikethan Residential School in Tirupathi, and I did my schooling in Holy Angels in Chennai, and my college in Ethiraj. And my brothers were also well-educated. So, then, when I was 8 years old, my father passed away, and it was my mother who took care of all of us.
So, after some time, this is a little emotional, so, you know, I might not be able to speak really well, but my first brother passed away when I was about 12 or 13 years old. He was my eldest, I mean my elder one, his name was Raghavendra. He died because he was in a relationship with a girl, and they said it was suicide. We didn’t know if it was suicide or if it was murder or accident; clueless, we were clueless because I was like about 10 years old, 12 years old, my other brother was like the same. We were all like, you know, one and a half years age difference, all like kutti kutti pasangana.
And then, okay, fine, so my mom, you know, how a mother, how difficult it is for anybody, man, even our friend or you know, own, pakkath veetle yaradhu yaradhu ponale, it is very very difficult to take it. It was my own, I mean it was very hard for her to even accept the fact that she lost the first one.
Okay, the days passed by, and then after a few years, my brother, my second brother, he was doing his hotel management in SRM college, and then he got a job. He was offered some 40,000 or 50,000, and then my mom was so happy that he is going to be supporting the family. And she, you know, it happens like, okay, somebody is there, okay, yaarodhu thiru vandhiru kanga, to kudumathu kaapatharathu ke. So, every mother thinks, okay, okay, my son has grown big, you know, this is always happy for a mother to see that.
Then happened, I mean, another tragedy, he died in a road accident. So, then it was very hard, very very hard because it’s a little emotional for me also when I speak about this. But I want to share this because, you know, it’s very very important to know how I struggled, how my mom struggled. So, it was only me and my brother and my mom; my mom was gone, she was totally gone. And she also gave up, like it all happened in, you know, like say like one year or two years gap, so just that.
My Path to Cinema
So, I came into the scene, now I am going to talk about my journey. Every girl, you know, when they see some situation like this, they want to really support their family in some or the other way. So, I was doing my 11th standard, so that was my first job in my entire life. How many of you have heard about this promotional activity for a product, is there anybody who’s actually done that, you’ve done it, okay, so I have done it.
The first one was in Chennai, there is Besant Nagar, okay, if you’ve been to Chennai, you’ll definitely know Besant Nagar because it’s a very very famous place.
So, there’s a supermarket, so I was standing outside the supermarket, and there’s a Cadbury chocolate like a tube or something, it’s the new launch, the Cadbury chocolate sauce. So, I’ll have to catch all the customers who are coming inside the supermarket, mam, mam, mam, please taste this. So, that was my first job, and I earned 225 rupees.
Then slowly, I started doing whatever I could, like I was doing events, I was hosting birthday parties where I could get 500 rupees, 1000 rupees, 1500 rupees, and I was like so happy getting like, okay, 5000 rupees a month. But, is it sufficient to run a family, to support my mom, it’s not right. So, I decided to get into serials, TV serials, okay.
So, the first TV serial offer they gave me like 1500 rupees. I was like 1500 rupees from morning 9, I mean 6 or 9, whatever they start, 9 to 9, you’ll have to go shooting, and then 1500 rupees. I was like, and then they said, okay, you’ll have monthly 5 to 6 days of shoot, so how will that money be even sufficient? So, then I asked my mom, why is this other actors who are in this serial like the main leads and all are getting 20,000 rupees, 25,000 rupees, how is it even possible?
So, my mom said, you have to do movies for that, so you’ll get like bigger money. If you act in movies, if your movies are good, if you get recognized, then you’ll get more money. So, then I started trying for movies. Before that, I was into dance, reality show, Maanada Mayilada, I won the title there. So, with that, with that you know, with that certificate or presentation, I was like, okay, I have done this, I was a reality dance show winner. And then I started approaching cinema companies.
The first movie I did was “Avargalum Ivargalum,” that’s my first film, which didn’t do well. So, then I start trying a lot of films. There are like, so in cinema, we always hear only one thing, which is sexual harassment. Everywhere there is sexual harassment, but since it’s a media platform, it’s highlighted. Otherwise, every girl has the problem. But it was not only sexual harassment, but also my color, my complexion, the way I look, my personality.
Maybe even I didn’t know how to dress like the super actresses, like all the way from north or from other parts of India. Maybe they didn’t take me because I was talking in Tamil, Tamil pesirengula, rejected. So, it happens like that in our Tamil film industry. So, I had to face so many criticisms, for my looks, for my color, for my personality, the way I didn’t, maybe I didn’t carry myself really well.
There are few directors, who actually told me, ningala heroine material, which means I am not heroine material at all. You can do some roles like, kutti kutti roles, like the small small roles, wearing like a friend role or something like that. He told this on my face, please don’t waste your time, there is another director.
Breaking Into the Industry
I told him like, “Sir, I am just trying in movies,” he is a well-known director. So, I told like, “Sir, kunchu cinemala try panra, enikku ethadhu kunchu chance erundha sollunga, like any good role, like kunchu prominenta arukkuno, abin kekkumodhu.” They were like, “Okay, we will give you one role, which is opposite to this comedian.” I was like, “Okay, no sir, I don’t want to do opposite a comedian. I am just trying to, you know, get into movies as a lead or something, at least some important role.”
Then, I didn’t get any opportunity for almost 2-3 years. Because after some time, I acted in a film called “Attakathi,” a small role, Amudha. It is that film, which actually, it is a very small role, it is not the main lead. Then, people started recognising me. Then, I did “Pannaiyarum Padminiyum,” then I did “Rummy,” then I did “Soodhu Kavvum,” like a main lead, lead, lead type. And then, what changed my life is this one film called “Kaaka Muttai.” Okay, so it is actually a mother role for two children, a slum mother.
Nobody wanted to do that role, but I don’t know, my intuition or I just thought, “Okay, let me just do it.” I loved the script. What is wrong in playing a mother role? How does it even matter? So, I did that and that was a game changer in my life. That movie was a big hit and one thing I learnt from that, like Manikandan, my director Manikandan is the one who taught me how to learn acting. I was not a great performer, even today I am not a great performer. I keep learning, I keep learning from each and everybody.
When I look into my performance, I am never satisfied. I could have done even more better. So, I always try to learn from each and every director, every film. Every film taught me so many things. That movie, “Kaaka Muttai,” I shot in a slum. I went there, I saw this woman, she had like, I don’t know how to say it in Tamil, 10 by 10, that was the house size. She was washing clothes inside her house, inside her house, literally. I was like walking by and then I was like, “What are you doing?” I will just tell this in Tamil and then I will, because the way she told me, you know.
And then she said like, she will wipe the water, she will switch on the fan, and it will dry. The floor gets dried and then she will cook there. And then there is one small mini toilet inside that house. And they were like, four children, one dog, one Tata, one party, everybody in the same house. And I was like, “How is it even possible?” And then, we get like, we have a two-bedroom apartment, we dream for a three-bedroom, and then a bungalow. And then we have items, then we go for some other like, BMW, Audi or something like that.
But they were very happy with whatever they had. So, that surprised me. I learnt something from her. I was like, “Really?” And she was looking like a goddess to me because of the Manjal photo, you know, the Tamil culture. They put a lot of turmeric on their face, they keep big bindi, and then salanga, what, golusu or whatever, there was that big anklet. She looked like a goddess to me.
So, I learnt so many things from “Kaaka Muttai.” My director Manikandan taught me how to act, how to learn. Then, I got, I didn’t get an offer for one year. Like, I got all the praises from the biggest to the biggest people like, so many big, big directors. I don’t want to mention the name, but many big directors, many actors, everybody. But I never got an opportunity to act opposite a big star. And I was like, the movie is hit, it’s critically acclaimed, worldwide it was a very big, you know, it was appreciated worldwide. It was there in all the festivals, but I haven’t got any opportunities opposite big, big actors.
I don’t know, I really don’t know, except for a few who really respected my talent. I did “Vada Chennai” with Dhanush, I did “Dharmadurai” with Vijay Sethupathi. Then, I decided, “Okay, I am not getting any offers for, okay, opposite big heroes. Okay, let me just be a hero for my own film.” So, I started doing a film called “Kanaa,” which changed everything. I didn’t know, I mean like, I didn’t get “Kanaa.” I mean “Kanaa” is a film about a cricketer. I don’t know how many of you heard about this film “Kanaa.”
I don’t know how many of you watched it. So, I play a cricketer, like they need real cricket players for the film. Then, I got trained for the film for 6 months, and I told my director, “Just trust me, give me one opportunity, please. I will definitely be able to do justice to that role.” So, “Kanaa” changed everything. It gave me so many awards, so many, so many big things in my life. Like, I started doing so many female-centric films, and I have almost 6 to 7 films, which I am playing the hero in the film.
So, it’s just that I believe in myself, guys. Nobody supported me, trust me, nobody supported me. It was only me who supported myself, and nobody was there, like somebody like, you know, everybody in the film, like, you know, something like that. But I, this one thing I used to do in my life. When I didn’t get an opportunity to act, or you know, people actually criticized me for my color, my personality. I don’t know, I have faced so many criticisms, including sexual harassment. But I know how to handle it.
So, if somebody is trying to abuse me, I know how to give it back. I was that bold enough. I was very strong enough to do that. So, I want all the women to do that too, okay? So, it’s very, very important, all the women have to protect, you know. It is in your hand that you have to protect yourself. Nobody is going to come like Superman or superhero is going to come and protect you. So, we have to protect ourselves.
So, I have struggled all my life by myself, and I think if I can do it, anybody here can do it, right? So, this is my life story, and I am really happy for, you know, for the success I am tasting today. And I still think I have to learn a lot from my, you know. I am never happy with my performances. I always learn from different, different people, my director.
So, this is my journey, and I always believed in myself. I think we all should believe in ourselves, and we should never depend on anybody, you know. What women, especially women, shouldn’t depend on anybody. So, thank you so much for this opportunity, and that’s my story of whatever. I don’t know how do I name it, but this is my story.