A Compass for Values: Dr Mandeep Rai (Transcript)

Here is the full transcript of author Dr Mandeep Rai’s talk titled “A Compass for Values” at TEDxJohn von Neumann University 2024 conference.

Listen to the audio version here:

TRANSCRIPT:

Hello, I’m Dr. Mandeep Kaur Rai Dhillon, and I’ll be taking you on a bit of a values compass journey. Hands up if you’ve ever felt confused, ever didn’t know which way to turn, there were two, three ways to turn and you’re not sure. Okay, thank you. And now let me ask it in reverse.

Hands up if you’ve never had a moment of indecision. Okay, great to see that we’re all human. Thank you. So, this is for you humans out there. When we have a moment of indecision, or when we’re wondering which way to turn, what is going to be our compass? How are we going to be guided?

The fact is that all our decisions are — micro and macro decisions are being made according to our values, but no one ever speaks about values. It’s not a common vernacular between people. We’re not taught to do a deep dive on our values, but it is your modus operandi. It’s the software, it’s the way you’re being run, all of your thoughts and decisions are running through your values. Let me give you an example.

Personal Experience

I was 18. I get a place at the University of Oxford after my A-levels, and I go and share the news with my headmistress. And she says, “Oh, are all the other universities too good for you?” And that puts me into my box.

I go and share the news with my parents, and they say, “Oh, you might start taking drugs to handle the pressure. Or worse, you might marry some elitist white guy called Sebastian, and we’ll never be able to speak Punjabi with our grandchildren.” And I get put into my box further, and I do, as they say, we’re all wanting what’s best for me, so what’s going on here?

The fact is that they’re all coming from a place of slightly different values.

My parents’ values were of stability, security, wanting their daughter to be well married and settled. My definition of best and my values were growth, exploration, learning as much as possible. And so because of this difference and not understanding that values bridge, it wasn’t easy to be able to show that we could get there, meet both of our objectives, and get there.

This can happen whether you’re speaking to your parents and your family members or your peers. Your peers might not share exactly the same values as you. So when I get to university and I graduate, all of us seem to have the objective of wanting to earn as much money and be as independent as possible, which means money equals freedom.

But I had another value which actually superseded that, which is that I wanted my work to make the most positive impact in society. So when I’m at J.P. Morgan, an investment bank, with private high net worth individuals in private banking, there was this sense of I am making very rich people a percentage richer. So how can I do this and still make a positive impact?

Maybe I could invest in Bluetooth or good technology. Or maybe there could be other investments that would be good for the world too. But social impact hadn’t quite taken ground yet or seeded. It wasn’t seeded 20 years ago. And I was asked whether I might want to work for the charity division or CSR, corporate social responsibility. So I pivoted.

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Pivoting

And this is the point. That if we become clear about our values at the get-go, then we might pivot less. And according to His Holiness the Dalai Lama, who endorsed the values compass, it could lead to a more successful, fulfilling, happy life.

Whereas I meandered. I went and did a master’s in development economics, went to work for the UN, the European Union, many different NGOs. Whilst at the BBC as a journalist, I did begin to see impact. I actually travelled over 180 countries. And each of those countries, I saw something different, something of value.

So when I reported on the ban of plastic bags from Ladakh, I would get letters from other parts of the world saying, “That was a good idea. We might adopt that. We will adopt that.” And so all these kind of values that I saw, I then began to report upon.

Values Around the World

So for example, the value of cleanliness from Rwanda. So in Africa, many places have experienced a genocide. But the way Rwanda faced it and dealt with it is that they decided to clean up their act. To clean up their mind, never say the word Hutu or Tutsi, those ethnic words again. To clean up the countryside, clean up Kigali, the capital.

What other country spends, dedicates a few, three hours every last Saturday and makes sure that the whole country cleans up? And what would it be in our lives if we bought that value of cleanliness and we had a clean slate or a clean desk or a clean way to begin each and every day? If I take you over to Europe and look at Finland, Finland prizes the value of silence. Silence is golden. You can hear a pin drop in Helsinki, the capital, because actually, they value quiet. There isn’t crazy amounts of traffic. They’ve made it pedestrianized.

You can hear your heart beat, they say, because there are over 1.5 million saunas in a country with just 5.5 million people. It’s the most sparsely populated country. Everyone is spread out. Even students, where everyone else, they’re huddled in dorms. In Finland, they live in small 20 by 20 meter apartments by themselves. Why?

Because it gives you a moment for reflection and they say that you can take a bull by its horns. Similarly, in Finnish, they say that you should take a man by his words. So have a chance to be able to hear one another. Don’t drown out the voices in your head through music. In cafes, they listen to one another and they reflect and then speak. Communication comes in many different forms.

And what would it be like if we had that level of silence, stillness, space? And now we’re actually beginning to appreciate it and you hear a lot about meditation and mindfulness. Let me take you over to India, which is where I’m ethnically from.

Yes, there’s meditation also, but there’s also this sense of faith. Indeed, as soon as you land in India, you will not be putting yourself behind the wheel of a car or a rickshaw or an auto unless all the gods are on the windscreen. Religion and faith and spirituality, so many of it has been born from India.

We have faiths like Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhi, Jainism, all born in India, but then there’s also the third largest Muslim country in the world. It also has a large Jewish and Christian population. Everything is done according to people’s faith and spiritual beliefs, the way they name their children, who they marry, how they die, all the rites and rituals all the time.

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Indeed, everyone, the Beatles, Julia Roberts, Steve Jobs, everyone goes to India for a bit of spirituality, a little bit or a lot of spirituality. What does faith give us? It fills in the gaps. It allows us to believe in something greater than ourselves. It means that in the tough times, you’ve got something to hold on to, and in the up times, that you can make the impossible possible.

Now let’s talk about Hungary. This is where a mere mortal can compete, and the value of competitiveness means that they eke out the very best of themselves. You find that in Hungary, competition is taught at a very early age in schools because they know that one day they’ll be competing for business with each other too, not just with each other but also themselves. And so they’ve made breakthroughs in sports, in technology, in medicine, in science. The vaccine, for example.

And when it comes to sports, actually, this country has more medals in the Olympics than any other country on earth that has never hosted the Olympics. And then, of course, this amazing university, which is founded by one of those individuals, John von Neumann. He himself, I mean it would take many lifetimes to achieve what he’s achieved, astromechanics in physics, or game theory in mathematics, or being the forefather of modern computer science.

There’s this sense of, if I can get there first, I could make a contribution. And indeed, if you don’t get there first, often you don’t get to make that contribution. So, is it the case that if we do a deep dive into our values, can we then begin to realize how, in fact, we can get to what’s most important to us? What are the values that are shaping us? That’s what the Values Compass does, and this is the Hungarian version. But then, does this only work in countries?

Values in Business and Personal Life

No. It works in all stratas of your life, in all the concentric circles around you. For example, when I then went to work with and study at Harvard Business School, I worked with a professor called Nitin Nohria, who then became the dean of Harvard Business School.

And with him, and other professors, we began to realize that actually something seeded at London Business School by a professor called Sumantra Ghoshal was that all these values, when you see them at play in business, it makes us think about business in another way. If businesses don’t just think about shareholder profit, but think about all the stakeholders in society and think about the values that are driving them, then we bring 200% of ourselves in, because we’re working for something so much greater.

We’ve worked with a myriad of companies, and each of those companies, when, for example, Unilever actually is standing for sustainability and acquires businesses that think about the next seven generations of sustainability, that’s worth investing in.

Or, when you look at companies like Mastercard, where they say they stand for the base of the pyramid, and they’ll make sure that everyone is included in financial inclusion, that’s something worth standing for. Or, when you see IKEA, who doesn’t need an element of cost consciousness? But then they think about, if you make your own furniture, it’s much more than just furniture.

It’s like Lego. When you make it yourself, it’s more valuable to you than if you just bought it ready-made off the shelf. And then, of course, there’s Apple, which we all know of Apple, where they stand for innovation, imagination, think differently, and therefore, you’re creating a lifestyle there.

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When our companies are thinking of their values, and when we help them deep dive into their values, then the way they communicate, the way they recruit, the way they create harmony within their teams, it’s all a self-fulfilling prophecy. They recruit according to the people, to the values that are important to them. And indeed, when we’re looking for jobs, we will then go and look for the jobs where our values will resonate with those organizations.

You can see this across schools. You will choose your schools according to your values. You will choose your partner in life according to your values. And hopefully, you can create a marriage of values so that there’s more synchronicity there and less friction. Now, this only makes sense if I bring it back to you, because when we’re clear about our own values, then we create our family values, and then we can create the values of all the organizations that we’re part of. So, please allow me to take you on a little journey.

Conclusion

Close your eyes. I promise not to spray any water. This is a perfectly safe environment. And let me take you to a day, the day of your funeral. Don’t worry, it’s a celebration. It’s a celebration of your life. And in this celebration, someone that knows you well and adores you, maybe it’s a grandchild, maybe it’s your best friend, maybe it’s your partner, they are speaking your eulogy. And what are they saying about you? What do you wish they were saying about you?

What are the words that they are bringing up? Now, some of these words that I’ll say, you’ll bring towards you, and some you’ll reject. They might say, “He or she stood, led a life of service.” Or “They were always the funniest in the crowd and had a wicked sense of humor.” Or “They were always the life and soul of the party.” Or, “Their generosity made all the difference to us.”

Or “You could always rely on this person.” Or “You know they were there for you when the times were tough.” Or “They were always loyal.” Or “Their standards of being were excellent. They stood for excellence.” Or “Look at the legacy they left through their work.”

Whatever it is that is attracting you or repelling you, the words that are attracting you are the values that are important to you. So as I ask you to open your eyes, let’s have it that we dare to choose our values. That we don’t just lead a life of reaction, according to what other people are doing and other people are saying, or reacting to the circumstances and situations.

But that we actively choose the legacy we want to leave, and therefore choose the values that will lead us there. It will reflect in how you spend your time, who you spend your time with, and how you shape your life. Leading the legacy that best suits you. Leading with values. Thank you.