Here is the full transcript of Betsy Cairo’s talk titled “Why I am Not A Feminist” at TEDxMileHighWomen 2016 conference.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
I think about gender all the time. Literally. I’m a reproductive biologist. I own the only commercial sperm bank in Colorado, I direct a non-profit that specializes in reproductive health education, and I teach a really fun class at the University of Northern Colorado called Human Sexuality.
In this class, we spend a lot of time discussing the importance of inclusive language. One of the biggies in this arena is gender-neutral language. This is a hot topic in our broader cultural conversation right now because using it allows those who do not subscribe to a male or female gender binary to feel included.
The Importance of Inclusive Language
Feeling included is important; it creates a safe space. That is why, as a society, we’re trying really hard not to pigeonhole people, places, clothing, or even color into this gender binary. And this is a tough transition. After all, we put gender qualifiers on a lot of things.
Girl and boy clothes, girl and boy colors, girl and boy jobs. But unfortunately, these gender qualifiers are not unifying because they force us to focus on our differences, and if all we do is focus on our differences, we can’t see our similarities, and if we can’t see our similarities, we can’t come to the middle, and the middle is crucial, because if we can get there, we can live in a truly equal and welcoming society. Sounds pretty nice, right?
Phasing Out Non-Inclusive Language
All we have to do is phase out language that doesn’t serve this higher purpose. So, where to begin? Well, for me, it begins with phasing out one word: feminism.
Growing up in the ’60s, the feminist movement was hitting its stride. I remember images of women tossing their bras into barrels to express their newfound freedom. But it was also around this time that I began to get this uneasy feeling with the word “feminism.” I didn’t understand it.
The Problem with “Feminism”
But I do now. The word “feminism” subscribes to a very strict male or female gender binary. When someone tells me they’re a feminist, I take it to mean that they see extreme differences between men and women and not so much our similarities.
It feels polarizing. I am female. I am a scientist, business owner, writer, wife, mother, teacher, PhD holder. I am a lot of things. But I am not a feminist.
Changing Language for Equality
Now, you might be glancing at your neighbor. “What? She’s speaking at TEDxMileHighWomen, and she’s not a feminist? She’s probably wearing a bra too.” But I wanted to speak here today on this stage because so many of us in this room want the same thing: equality.
And I feel the best way for us to get there is to change our language. We’ve seen the benefits of changing our language before. Let’s address how language allowed us to view the hallowed institution of marriage.
The Marriage Equality Movement
The gay marriage movement began decades ago, but calling it gay marriage by the media, and almost everyone else, allowed its adversaries to focus on the differences between opposite-sex and same-sex marriage, and they kept focusing on the differences, and not the core of marriage, that being two people who love each other.
But then, years passed, attitudes shifted, the political climate changed, and a new, more powerful label to the movement took hold: the marriage equality movement. It was no longer gay marriage; it was marriage equality. One word, one concept, level playing field.
The Power of Language
This new language changed the conversation and required us, as a society, to address the issue of civil liberties for all. We are standing on the shoulders of giants when it comes to the fight for gender equality. There were the suffragettes in the late 1800s, the Equal Rights Amendment, early 1900s, Rosie the Riveter, World War II, and of course in the ’60s, the explosion of the sexual revolution and access to birth control, right around the same time – good thing too.
But interestingly, when we look back at their fliers, pamphlets, and banners, we see the words “women” and, or, “equality” more than we see the word “feminism.” But that was a while ago. We need to address what happens now when we use gender-specific language.
The Problem with Gender Qualifiers
If used incorrectly, we bury the lead and we don’t shine the spotlight on the issue that really matters. For example, earlier this year, there was a scientist that was awarded $1.1 million to continue their research in a fight for a cure for cancer. Based on the headline, you couldn’t be certain what the article was going to be about.
The article reads, “Alabama scientist, one of the nation’s few black, female physicists breaks ground in cancer research.” Imagine what our response would have been if the headline read like this: “Alabama scientist, one of the nation’s many white, male physicists breaks ground in cancer research.” Yeah, that would be strange.
Moving Beyond “Feminism”
So, why do we put gender qualifiers in one headline when we wouldn’t put them in another? Gender qualifiers get in the way and so does the word “feminism.” It is so focused on the gender binary that it is leaving people behind, and I feel that the word itself is stalling the movement.
And these people that it’s leaving behind, I don’t mean just men. There’s even an organization called Women Against Feminism, and while they have a lot of complaints about feminism, if you look at their comments it stems around three major concepts. One: they don’t want what they call “Radical Feminists” telling them what they can and cannot do.
Embracing “Equalism”
Two: they don’t want to be judged by other women; and three: they say they’re not oppressed because they already feel equal to men.