Drinking and How It Changed My Life: Ann Dowsett-Johnston (Transcript)

Ann-Dowsett-Johnston at TEDxHomeBushRdWomen

Full text of author Ann Dowsett-Johnston’s talk titled “Drinking and How It Changed My Life” at TEDxHomeBushRdWomen conference.

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TRANSCRIPT:

Thank you very much.

You know, there’s a story that they tell about a writer who heads up to the pearly gates on a very, very busy day. And she is not quite sure if she’s going to end up in heaven or hell.

And she waits in line for about three hours, a little bit longer. And she’s a good researcher, and she gets very frustrated.

So finally, she goes up to the front of the line, and she says, “Do you think I could see God?”

And God comes out and says, “Can I help you?”

And she says, “Not sure if I’m going to heaven or hell, but I might as well start with hell. Do you think I could have a sneak peek?”

And God says, “Of course. First door on the right.”

So she goes and takes a little peek at hell, and she sees her worst nightmare. She sees a whole room full of writers chained to their desks, clearly they’ve missed their deadlines. The clock’s going around and around like this. There’s sweat pouring off their brow, their hair is disheveled, they’re tap, tap, tapping away.