Here is the full text and summary of Nina Nesdoly’s talk titled “How to Relieve Stress When You’re Overwhelmed” at TEDxHECMontréal conference.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
Hi, everyone. My name is Nina, and I’m here to talk to you about how to relieve stress. Does that seem relevant to anyone, some stress? Yes.
Picture this. It’s a Friday, and it’s the last weekend before final exams. You have term papers due, exams to study for, grad school applications, and two research proposals to submit. You are slumped over your desk, completely overwhelmed by everything you need to do.
Do you A, push through and keep working, B, curl up in a little ball, it’s a valid option, we’ve all done it, or C, go to a party? This was my dilemma one night during my bachelor’s degree, and in a moment of completely giving up on my work, I chose the party.
According to my to-do list, I had absolutely no business going out that night. There were so many things that I could have been doing, and yet, in the days that followed, I had more energy, more focus. I was less stressed, and my work came more easily. Instead of waiting until all of my work was done, a night at the silent disco museum party, dancing with my friend, Sethi, allowed me to let tension out of my body to relieve stress and made my work easier.
Now, I’m a work stress and burnout prevention consultant. I’m doing a PhD studying work-related stress, and I use neuroscience to help people manage stress. Looking back, I can see why going to that party worked so well. It aligned with what I refer to as the three keys to stress relief. I use these keys to help people incorporate stress relief into their daily lives and their work, and today, I’d like to share those with you.
You heard the first one just a moment ago. Let tension out. There are a lot of different ways to relieve stress that let tension out of our body. Exercise and movement, creativity or journaling, talking to a friend, meditation or mindfulness, even a nice big hug that we can melt into. Often, these things involve physically getting something out of our bodies, our sweat and energy when we exercise, our words when we tell a friend how we’re doing, thoughts on the page when we journal or get creative, our breath if we practice mindfulness or breathing exercises.
When we relieve stress, we can feel it. Tension that we’ve been carrying in our necks, our chest, our wrists, fades away. If you’re up for it, how about we let some tension out right now? In your chair, whatever feels comfortable, move around a little bit. Do your own little silent disco party. Ooh, yes, I see some fancy footwork. I like it.
People often tell me that taking a break to relieve stress does not work for them, and when people say this, I like to ask what they’re doing. The answer is usually scrolling or working. No one comes out and says they’re working on their breaks. Instead, people say things like, I go for a walk and I listen to a podcast related to work for professional development, or I journal while watching TV and checking emails for work.
Most often when people say that taking a break to relieve stress does not work for them, the break is scrolling social media. I love social media, and I absolutely think that consuming content from the internet that we enjoy has a place in our lives, but sometimes a bit of space from information can feel really good.
We take in so much in a day. Your brain is attending to and processing so much, so the second key to stress release is to limit information in. There are two reasons for this. First, what you’re taking in may contribute to stress. A lot of media is fun and enjoyable. Familiar shows can even provide a sense of comfort. Does anyone have a favorite TV show they rewatch when they’re stressed out? Yes, I have a whole roster of sitcoms that I rotate through.
Sometimes it’s comforting knowing what’s going to happen. But other media can contribute to stress. The news, content that leaves us comparing ourselves to others, TV shows or movies that are disturbing prompt a fight or flight response and keep you up at night.
If you are working on a break to relieve stress, you don’t really get a break from work. Even if you love your job, work can be depleting. In a longitudinal study, researchers from Goethe University in Frankfurt found that work engagement, being really absorbed and invigorated by your work, was related to exhaustion over time.
Lab experiments have found that being immersed in tasks can increase cortisol and blood pressure. While there are psychological benefits to enjoying your work, you still need real breaks to relieve stress. It’s kind of like exercise. If you hate running, it’s pretty easy for me to convince you that running is wear on the body and you need opportunities to recover.
But even if you love running, it’s wear on the body and you need opportunities to recover. Incorporating breaks to relieve stress into our workdays can lead to less stressful, more productive workdays.
In a 2021 study, one group of participants took part in back-to-back virtual meetings and showed brain activity consistent with an accumulation of stress. In another group, participants got 10-minute meditation breaks in between meetings. That group did not show the increase in stress and instead showed brain activity consistent with better focus as meetings went on.
According to neuroscience, your brain can only focus on one thing at a time, and this is the second reason to limit information in. Whether you are watching, reading, or working, that becomes your focus instead of your own experience.
Thinking back to the night at the museum party I went to, there was music playing, but I was not trying to attend to or learn information.
I was not trying to follow a plot or take something in. If taking in information is not helping you feel good or has just gotten to be too much, I invite you to find some space.
What if on your walk, you took 10 minutes to reflect on your day before turning on the professional development podcast? What if while journaling, you allowed yourself to only do that for five minutes before turning on the TV and checking email? What if on a break at work, before picking up your phone, you took a few deep breaths to let tension out?
If you’re comfortable with it, I invite you to take some space with me right now. Take a nice, big, deep breath in. And out. One more. Breathe in. And out. Let tension out. Limit information in.
The first two keys of stress relief are simple enough, but what stops us from actually doing them? Sometimes it feels like too much work. I believe the best way to relieve stress is whatever you will actually do.
So the third key to stress relief is to lower the barrier to entry. Imagine stress relief on a sliding scale. If you want to move or exercise, you can go to a night at the museum party like I did. Or you can go on a bike ride, do a short workout, or bring the party to you and have a little dance party in your living room. If you want to talk to a friend, maybe you don’t have to wait for your brunch plan. You can see if they have 10 minutes to FaceTime instead.
If you like to journal, you can have a journaling practice with glitter pens and sparkles and different colored tape. Or you can write in bullet points. You don’t even have to write in complete sentences. You could doodle. You could just scribble.
A teacher has been using the three keys to stress relief in her classroom. A student, who we will call Jamie, has been having some trouble in class. Jamie gets really stressed and really overwhelmed, really frustrated, really mad. And this leads to big outbursts. Sometimes Jamie is not able to finish her work, parents have to be called, and Jamie was even removed from an after-school club, which is a really big deal when you’re eight.
So the teacher, thinking of the three keys to stress relief, gives Jamie a mad book and says, the next time you get mad, you can scribble about it in your mad book. The same day, Jamie is working on an assignment when Jamie starts to get stressed. She’s getting overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, mad. She gets up, goes to the mad book, picks up a bright red crayon, and scribbles. And goes back to her work without saying a word.
Now you’re all grown up, but you deserve ways to relieve stress that are just as easy. When it’s available to you, you can do more. But when you’re overwhelmed, sometimes it helps to make things as easy on yourself as possible so that you don’t have to wait until you finish everything on your to-do list, until work is done, until your quarter is over, to relieve stress. Instead, relieving stress can help you approach your day with more energy, more focus, and of course, less stress.
We’ve talked about a lot of different ways to relieve stress today, so I invite you to choose one. Pick something that allows you to let tension out, limit information in, and has a low enough barrier to entry that it is something you will actually do. That way, you can start putting yourself before your to-do list.
Thank you.
Want a summary of this talk? Here it is.
SUMMARY:
In Nina Nesdoly’s talk titled “How to Relieve Stress When You’re Overwhelmed,” she shares her insights on effective stress relief strategies based on her personal experiences and her work as a stress and burnout prevention consultant. Here are the key points from her talk:
1. The Three Keys to Stress Relief: Nina introduces the concept of three keys to stress relief, which she uses to help people manage stress effectively. These keys are designed to be incorporated into daily life and work routines.
2. Let Tension Out: The first key is to release tension from the body. Nina explains that there are various ways to achieve this, including exercise, creativity or journaling, talking to friends, meditation, and even physical gestures like hugs. These activities help in physically expelling stress and tension, leading to a sense of relief.
3. Limit Information In: The second key is to limit the inflow of information. Nina emphasizes that excessive consumption of media and work-related content can contribute to stress. It’s crucial to take breaks and detach from work-related information to prevent stress accumulation.
4. Real Breaks Are Essential: Nina underscores the importance of real breaks. Even if you love your work, it can be draining, and you need genuine breaks to relieve stress. She cites studies that demonstrate how short meditation breaks between tasks can lead to better focus and lower stress levels.
5. Focus on Your Own Experience: Nina explains that when you’re constantly engaged with external information, you’re not focusing on your own experiences and emotions. By finding moments to reflect and disconnect from external stimuli, you can reduce stress and regain control over your feelings.
6. Lower the Barrier to Entry: The third key is to make stress relief accessible and easy. Nina suggests that individuals should choose stress relief activities that are simple and don’t require a significant commitment of time or effort. This approach allows for quick, effective stress relief, even during busy periods.
7. A Real-Life Example: Nina shares a heartwarming example of how these principles were applied to help a student named Jamie manage their stress. Jamie was provided with a “mad book” to scribble in whenever they felt overwhelmed, and this simple practice significantly improved their behavior and emotional well-being.
8. Putting Yourself First: Nina encourages her audience to prioritize their own well-being by choosing a stress relief method that aligns with the three keys. She emphasizes that taking care of oneself should not be delayed until all tasks are completed but should be integrated into daily life to boost energy, focus, and overall well-being.
In summary, Nina Nesdoly’s talk provides valuable insights into managing stress when overwhelmed. Her three keys to stress relief – letting tension out, limiting information in, and lowering the barrier to entry – offer practical and accessible strategies for anyone looking to alleviate stress and improve their overall quality of life.
