Here is the full transcript of author Julie Lythcott-Haims’ TED Talk: How to Raise Successful Kids – Without Over-Parenting…
Listen to the MP3 Audio: How to raise successful kids – without over-parenting by Julie Lythcott-Haims
Julie Lythcott-Haims – Author
You know, I didn’t set out to be a parenting expert. In fact, I’m not very interested in parenting, per se.
It’s just that there’s a certain style of parenting these days that is kind of messing up kids, impeding their chances to develop into their selves. There’s a certain style of parenting these days that’s getting in the way I guess what I’m saying is, we spend a lot of time being very concerned about parents who aren’t involved enough in the lives of their kids and their education or their upbringing, and rightly so.
But at the other end of the spectrum, there’s a lot of harm going on there as well, where parents feel a kid can’t be successful unless the parent is protecting and preventing at every turn and hovering over every happening, and micromanaging every moment, and steering their kid towards some small subset of colleges and careers.
When we raise kids this way, and I’ll say we — because Lord knows, in raising my two teenagers, I’ve had these tendencies myself, our kids end up leading a kind of checklisted childhood.
And here’s what the checklisted childhood looks like. We keep them safe and sound and fed and watered, and then we want to be sure they go to the right schools, that they’re in the right classes at the right schools, and that they get the right grades in the right classes in the right schools.