Here is the full transcript and summary of author Kelly Williams’ talk: Millennials – why are they the worst at TEDxSalem conference.
TRANSCRIPT:
Kelly Williams Brown – Writer, Author of ‘Adulting’
I’m sorry, just hold on one second you guys, I got to just Instagram this. Now taking pictures of you with me. Perfect.
Okay. Just talk amongst yourselves, Okay. (Hashtag) #TedxSalem, #LivingTheDream #Yolo
And…Share. Perfect.
Hi, I’m a millennial and I am a monster.
No one really knows how or why I got this way.
There’s a lot of different series though, as to what could have gone so terribly, terribly wrong with me. It could be that when I was in preschool, I sang a lot of songs, meant to build my self-esteem. And now that’s why I’m an unrepentant narcissist with no sense of human empathy.
That’s one theory.
It could be also the fact that I got some trophies for participation when I was in elementary school, which is why I would kill my own grandmother if she got in the way of my Instagramming.
But no matter what, why, whatever is wrong with us, the main thing is that I get to talk about me. So that’s good.
So let’s talk about who I most importantly, but I guess the millennials in general are.
What is a millennial? Who am I?
There are some possible answers here. Am I:
A narcissistic jerk,
A Facebook, Social media, Tumblr, Twitter, self-branding man-child.
Someone who “rejects the system and refuses to get a job, but never refuses a handout from my parents.”
Or someone born between 1981 and the year 2000.
No one can say for sure.
But, let’s talk about some of the conversation that’s been happening about millennials. Because we’ve been kind of in the news a lot lately. So, see what the New York Times has to say:
“The now generation has become the ME generation.”
They said about the boomers in 1976. Okay, Bad, bad example.
Let’s see what they’re actually saying about the millennials:
“They have trouble making decisions. They would rather hike in the Himalayas than climb the corporate ladder. They crave entertainment, but their attention span is as short as one zap of a TV dial.”
Said Time Magazine about Gen X in 1990.
Gosh, it’s almost enough to make you feel that hand-wringing trend pieces about the awfulness of the young people are less of a valid cultural or social logical critique and more of an easy trend piece that moves magazine covers.
But I digress and let’s see what people are actually saying about the millennials. Oh, and before I move on, because I don’t want us to be accused of plagiarism on top of everything else. Thanks to Elspeth Reeve at the Atlantic who compiled those quotes.
“The worst generation?” asks the New York post.
“Yes”, they say in the second paragraph, “Absolutely, the worst generation”.
A Gen Y manager is perceived is entitled, unpolished. This is actually the first time we’re hearing the ‘E’ word in regards to the millennials. But, don’t worry we’re going to hear it a bunch more. And favorite:
“The ME ME ME Generation”
“Millennials are lazy, entitled narcissists who still live with their parents.”
I am so glad the Time Magazine has single-handedly and selflessly diagnosed every single person in my generation with a serious personality disorder.
And PS – how bad do you feel for this poor woman who thought she was signing up for stock photography and instead found herself the shameful poster child of the worst generation.
And here’s one problem that I have with general critiques of millennials and these kinds of trend pieces is the sheer volume of millennials.
Now, depending on how you define the cohort and granted there are no hard and fast rules on this or any generations boundaries, but we’re talking about somewhere between 52.8 million and 86 million people.
To put that into context, that’s more people than African Americans and Asian Americans combined. That’s more people than self-identify as Hispanic or Latino on the census. And it’s way more than the population of a lesbian gay, bisexual, and transgender Americans.
To look at it on a map, we are more than the population of Oregon, Nevada, Colorado, Utah, New Mexico, Montana, Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, Wisconsin, North Carolina, Kentucky, Maine, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island combined.
So when you’re talking about this mass of people, the more you get into these lazy, simple explanations, the worst you’re going to do, because there is one thing and one thing only that you can say about each and every member of the millennial generation.
One thing that’s true: We are all young or young-ish. Personally, I’m more on the young-ish side of things. But clinging to that for now. That’s the only thing that all millennials have in common.
Which brings me to the word: Entitlement.
Now, this word constantly and consistently attaches itself to the millennials. This is the bright orange grease stain on our collective white button downs.
All right. A fun millennial bingo game, which I’m probably the only person who ever plays, but in case you want to, here’s how it goes. When you’re reading a trend piece about millennials, see how far you can get into the piece before the ‘E’ word comes up.
Usually it’s in the title. Sometimes they wait until the second sentence to say it. And this is an idea that people have the millennials that “Give us your money, dad, and I’m going to be CEO any minute, even though I studied underwater basket weaving or whatever.”
And I’m not going to fully fight this word, but I do want, and I apologize, because I know you guys have been doing nothing but playing interactive games all day.
I want everyone to play a game with me. If you have ever been age 21 and are now older, put your hand in the air and keep them there. Okay. Keep them up. I’m sorry 21 year olds. I’m picking on you first, but you’ll see why.
Okay. If between now and the time you were 21, you have become somewhat less self-centered, less self-focused, keep your hand in the air.
OK.
If you have slightly different values now than you did when you were 21, keep your hands in the air.
If you had pretty big expectations about what you would achieve and how awesome you were going to be, and you haven’t quite achieved all of them, keep your hands in the air.
Okay, congratulations you 21-year-old-selves or millennials or as some people like to say- young people.
And this is the thing about all of these critiques is that we always have to sort of collectively wring our hands over young people being young, and wonder why they can’t just have the benefit of maturity and hindsight.
And worse yet with the millennials, it seems like all these studies are coming out. And they tend to mention the same studies over and over again. This is a big one: Entitlement of Workers. There it is.
Now, this was a study of the University of New Hampshire. And this gentleman asked a wide range of ages from 22 up to people I believe in their 50s about what they expected from work.
And he found surprisingly that 22-year-olds expected more pay and less work than someone who was in their fifties and had been in the workforce for quite some time.
One small issue that I take with this study is the fact that you’re taking a cohort of college students who have probably never fully been in the workplace and then being surprised that they don’t have as great of an understanding of workforce dynamics as people who have been there for 20 or 30 years.
I know just my six years in the workforce have dramatically changed my expectations about how that flows.
The other one that you hear a lot about is this one generational differences in work values, leisure and extrinsic values, increasing social and intrinsic values decreasing.
And this is a much more, I think, fair study. This is apples to apples. And they ask a bunch of 18-year-olds through the years about what they value at work. And what’s important to them. They have found that both Gen X and millennials sort of want more by way of the extrinsic rewards, the money and such.
But on the other hand, and this is something, again, that gets mentioned again and again, in these pieces. They ask 18 year olds.
Again, show of hands whose values are slightly different than when they were 18.
Okay. So we’re not really getting a clear picture of who this generation is as adults. We’re looking solely at what they value when they’re 18. And even if you’re going to take at face value, this assertation that we’re less interested in work and we’re less interested in sort of the system, I guess it bears questioning why that might be?
And I don’t want to get into a millennial whine and I promise I’m not going to. But this is something that we grew up with.
This was our model. We came of age in the 80s and 90s and the 2000s, a period of pretty high-employment, a relatively stable; there was a growth in the real estate, homes appreciated in value.
And we were told it was it ground into us. You know, when you were in high school, you have to take all the AP classes. You have to excel, you have to make yourself special. You have to do whatever it is you can to get into that one great college.
And then you go to that college and you take out loans and it’s okay because it’s worth it to go to that good college.
And then once you’re in that college, you were going to work unpaid internships this year, 48 million hours’ worth. And you are going to make yourself employable and then you will emerge into the world. And there you go.
Really the past success for us has looked a lot more like this: “I don’t know, maybe establish a startup. Uh, I don’t know,”
And this is really what it has looked like for a lot of the millennials. My little sister, for example, entered the workforce in 2008. And I’m sure everyone here remembers 2008. It’s gotten a little better since then.
But just as she, and all young people were being asked to sort of find their place and buy into a system, that same system was spectacularly imploding and leaving them without any room. This was a time when reputable news outlets and CNN would air stories about whether or not you should take all your money out of the bank and put it under your mattress.
It’s hard to buy into that system and it’s hard to put your trust into it.
So what do millennials care about?
Well, according to one Pew research study, the majority of them, 51% say: A very important or the most important thing I will ever do in my life is be a good parent.
The second most common answer at 30% was be a good husband or wife.
The third most important answer was to be a useful and integrated, helpful member of their community.
So that doesn’t really sound like a bunch of narcissists. It sounds like a bunch of people who are mistrustful of a system that hasn’t particularly made room for them. And instead are turning their own attention to what they can control – the things in their life that are within their abilities to effect.
So what? Why does this matter?
I’m not going to make an argument that this is an enormous grand civil rights struggle or something like, please don’t get me wrong. It’s really not.
But I think it is really important any time we are sort of nodding along and agreeing with a narrative about people that are not us. About a group that we do not belong to. And we’re looking at that group and saying, “Yeah, they’re this and they’re that. And gosh, they’re the worst.”
It’s important to take a second and stop and look at what assumptions you’re buying into. I don’t think that there’s anything especially wrong with millennials. I think we are just exactly the same as every other generation before us.
We have some new tools, Facebook, but boomers and Gen X don’t pretend they all don’t like that too, because I know you do.
But we’re doing what every generation has had to do. We are struggling with the sometimes messy, almost always complicated process of growing up.
So the next time that you find yourself reading one of these pieces and agreeing about how dreadful we are, do two things:
Think of your 22-year-old-self and ask yourself whether some of these things could have applied to that person and
Think of a millennial you really like. And say, “When I read this, does this reflect the person that I know?” And if it doesn’t, then question the narrative.
Thank you.
SUMMARY OF THIS TALK:
Kelly Williams’ talk, titled “Millennials – why are they the worst,” offers a critical and humorous examination of the stereotypes and criticisms commonly associated with the millennial generation. Here are the key takeaways from her presentation:
Stereotyping Millennials: Williams humorously acknowledges the stereotypes of millennials as narcissistic, entitled, and overly reliant on social media. She suggests these stereotypes might stem from childhood experiences, such as receiving participation trophies or being raised with an emphasis on self-esteem.
Historical Context of Generational Criticism: She points out that criticism of younger generations is not new. Williams cites examples from the past where similar criticisms were leveled against Baby Boomers and Generation X by media outlets, indicating a pattern of older generations criticizing younger ones.
Misrepresentation in Media: The talk highlights how media often portrays millennials negatively, using terms like “the ME ME ME Generation” and labeling them as lazy and entitled. Williams challenges these generalizations by pointing out the diversity and size of the millennial generation, making it illogical to broadly categorize them.
Commonality Among Millennials: The only true commonality she acknowledges among millennials is their youth or young-ish age. This factor alone makes it unreasonable to generalize about their attitudes and behaviors.
The Concept of Entitlement: Williams discusses the frequent association of entitlement with millennials. She engages the audience in an interactive exercise to demonstrate that qualities often attributed to millennials, such as self-centeredness or high expectations, are common in young people of any generation.
Misinterpretation of Studies: She critiques studies that are often cited to support claims about millennials’ work ethic and values, arguing that these studies compare inexperienced young people with older adults who have had years to adjust their expectations and values.
Millennials’ Actual Values and Challenges: Contrary to the stereotype of narcissism, Williams references a Pew research study showing that most millennials prioritize being good parents, spouses, and community members. She also discusses the economic and social challenges millennials face, such as entering the workforce during the 2008 financial crisis.
A Call for Empathy and Understanding: Williams urges the audience to question narratives about millennials and to consider the similarities between the challenges faced by millennials and those faced by previous generations. She encourages people to reflect on their own experiences at a younger age and to compare those with the stereotypes of millennials.
Rejecting Overgeneralization: The talk concludes with a plea to avoid overgeneralizing about any group, including millennials. Williams emphasizes the importance of seeing individuals for who they are rather than through the lens of generational stereotypes.
Overall, Kelly Williams’ talk serves as a witty yet insightful critique of the common misconceptions about millennials, urging for a more nuanced and empathetic understanding of this diverse generation.
