Michael Jr. – TRANSCRIPT
Thanks, man. I’m excited about being here.
We’re going to have some fun. My name is Michael Jr. I’m going to do some jokes. Yet, at the same time, I’d like to explain to you how life well, how comedy works. So let’s stop right here.
I actually like the city of Reno a lot. I was here once. I was here once; I was keynote speaking for a corporation and something really kind of strange happened when I was here.
Normally, I’m the type of person I like to be on a stage alone. I don’t need any help or anybody. So this CEO of this large company introduces me, and he has the microphone, and normally, we have two different mics, and he leaves, and then, I’m there.
That’s the plan. Dude stays there. I’m standing right next to him with no mic. And then he looks at the audience, and I’m standing there, and he says First, let me explain this. I’m the type of comedian, like, I’m observational; I pay attention to things like college students. Take someone who goes to a nice school like the University of Southern California.
Ask them what school they go to, you get a nice quick answer, “What school you go to?” — “USC” New York University – you get a nice quick answer, – “What school you go to?” – “NYU”. Ask somebody who goes to community college. You get a much longer response, don’t you? “What school you go to?” “Well, see, right now, what I’m doing, I’m going to get a couple credits, right? Then my financial aid is supposed to come through. Then I’m going to transfer, man. They say school kills creativity anyway. Man, I feel vulnerable. Is Brené Brown around? Man, I feel very vulnerable right now.”
Let me tell you a little more about me. I love being a dad. And I have five kids, yeah. And I travel a lot, so I can see them all. Ha, ha! I’m just playing; I don’t see them, I don’t see them. No, I do.
I have five kids. They’re all with me. I live in Dallas now. My kids are awesome. The thing about having a big family is you always have to figure out ways to save money. We wanted to get our family pictures taken, and that stuff was expensive. So what we did to save money was we all got in the front seat of the car, looked both ways, and ran a red light. That’s what we did. That’s what we did.
Two weeks later, the picture came in the mail. But my son blinked so we had to do it again, we had to do it again. This stuff is crazy. I was doing that joke in prison recently. I wasn’t in prison, like, “Hey, I’m funny. Get off me!” It wasn’t like that.
Whenever we’re doing a big live event – like we’re doing one tonight in Reno – whenever we do a large ticketed event, a concert, in a city, we always look for a homeless shelter, a prison, an abused children’s facility to go to during the day to do comedy. So I’m so I’m doing a prison this time. It’s a TEDx talk, I don’t got that much time.
You don’t got to clap, it’s OK. So we’re doing this prison, and I do the joke about the red light, and 75% of the prisoners laughed; the rest of them nothing. Then I realized what was going on. Some of them had been locked up so long, the dude next to them had to explain the joke. He was like, “See, nowadays, when you run a red light, they send a picture with the ticket in the mail”. Then he looked at the dude next to him, “A red light is what they use for traffic when you go down the road”. And then he said, “A road is what they use”. Wow! Where am I at right now, man?