Here is the transcript and summary of Guy Katz’s talk titled “The Power of Positivity” at TEDxZurich conference.
In this talk, Guy Katz discusses the power of positivity and how it can lead to success in various aspects of life. He shares stories about his grandfather’s positivity during his time in Auschwitz, and cites studies that show positive and happy employees are more productive, creative, and successful. Katz also talks about the importance of first impressions and how controlling various sensory inputs, such as scent and appearance, can have a significant impact.
Listen to the audio version here:
TRANSCRIPT:
The year is 1941, and you’re a Jewish teenager from Eastern Europe. You just lost your brothers, your sisters, your parents, who were brutally murdered in front of you, or sent to the gas chambers. And you are imprisoned in one of the most horrific places humanity has ever created: the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp.
All four of my grandparents were Holocaust survivors. Two of them survived that damned place. My grandfather, Aryeh, which means lion in Hebrew, survived Auschwitz for more than two years. I once asked him when I was young, “Grandpa, how did you do it? “And all he said was, “Just by always smiling and always saying yes.”
Any time the Nazis asked people to do anything, no matter how cold he was, how long the day was, how hard it was, remember, this is Auschwitz we’re talking about, he said, take me. Any time they asked, he raised his hand high and said, I’ll do it.
Even the Nazis knew they could trust Aryeh. They knew that they could use him, but it was worthwhile for them to take care of him. So by being positive and valuable, he survived.
My grandfather, here with me, was right. Because everything starts with a positive attitude. And despite all that’s happened to him, or maybe because of it, he turned out to be one of the most driven and empathetic people I have ever met. Plus, everyone instantly fell in love with him, because he was always positive, no matter what.
As the famed Austrian psychiatrist and an Auschwitz survivor himself, Viktor Frankl, said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”
Many of us assume that success leads to happiness. Turns out, we’ve got it backward. In his work with KPMG, Pfizer, and Yale’s psychology department, Shawn Achor has seen how happiness and positivity precede success.
Happy employees show an average of 31% higher productivity, 37% higher sales, with creativity three times higher than their unhappy colleagues. Therefore, from my time in school, the military, working for tiny and giant companies, to my career as a management professor, I realized positivity pays off. Period. I even just got married for the second time. Right?
So, I went on a quest and found four ways to utilize it anywhere and with anyone. Because positivity is not magical. It is science. And it all starts with the very first interaction.
Now, what’s going to happen now, I’m going to show you a picture really quickly on the screen. You have to look up there. And then I’ll ask you what you see. Ready? One, two, three. All right. Show of hands. Who’s seen a man? Who’s seen a hat? A beard? A smile? Now, keep your hands up if you think what you’ve seen is positive. Amazing.
Here’s the crazy thing. You have no idea what you’ve just seen, but like 80% of you know it’s positive. This is the power and danger of first impressions. A series of experiments by Princeton psychologist Willis and Todorov revealed that all it takes is a tenth of a second to form an impression of a stranger. And that longer exposures don’t really change that.
Now, I’m sure many in this room have used a dating app like Bumble or Hinge or Tinder. That means the split second we need to know whether to swipe left or swipe right is more than enough to know whether or not we want to hang out with someone.
And when someone begs you to try out a date, although you really want to swipe him away, don’t. Science says it’s a complete waste of time. Like it or not, judgments based on facial appearance play a significant role on how we get treated and how we treat others.
Psychologists have long known that attractive people get better outcomes in practically all walks of life. Unfortunately, we cannot change our faces. Oh, and no, Instagram filters do not count. What we can influence, though, is the way we dress or the background we use for that really important online meeting. Because yes, there is no second chance for first impressions.
Here’s a picture I’ve showed you before. And this is my barber David making me an espresso. Just the way I like it. Now, he’s not just a master barber. He’s also a master of positivity. Because he utilizes a second aspect of it. The power of all human senses. Also called the multi-sensory approach. The more senses, the better.
Now, can you smell something now? Yes, it’s the smell of fresh bread. If you’re selling your apartment, you should put bread or cake to bake in the oven while you show it to people. By doing that, you will raise the chance of them buying your apartment and even increase the price.
Out of all five senses, the sense of smell is the most essential trigger of memory. Studies by Rockefeller University show us that we remember 5% of things we see, but 35% of things we smell. One reason is that the olfactory system is located in the same part of our brain that affects emotions and memory.
So a scent is subconsciously associated to a specific person, experience, and time.
And when people see your beautiful apartment while smelling the fresh bread, they’re automatically taken back to the realms of their childhood, immediately feeling at home.
There’s more. David also knows what he’s doing when he’s making me a coffee. If served appropriately and if it tastes good, it triggers all five of our senses. A 2022 Journal of Marketing study found that having a caffeinated drink before shopping leads to more purchases and increased spending.
Now, I’m sure you know the motto, don’t drink and drive, right? Well, it turns out that with caffeinated drinks, we also need don’t drink and buy. Thank goodness my wife really hates coffee, but she does like Coca-Cola, though.
Anyway, my interest for people and communication took off throughout my military service in the IDF. At the time, and completely opposed to what one may think when seeing me back there, I quickly learned that the only way to tackle ambiguous or demanding situations is never by force, ever, but only through creativity and positivity.
Did you hear that, leaders of the world? I then worked in security to finance my business studies. At the time, I met many famous people and politicians. Most, if not all of them, ignored me completely. But not Shimon Peres, the only man in history who was both president and prime minister of Israel.
When I was assigned to work for him, he treated me like I was the most important person in the world, asking my name and what I studied, as if he had met another hundred people that day. That deeply impressed me.
I met him again a few months later. He seemed happy to see me. He remembered my name, even what I studied. Was that why everyone loved him? The Japanese scientist Noriaki Kanno realized this about 50 years ago. Generally, people forget average, even better than average, experiences with others.
What we remember, though, is anything surprising or unexpected. Just like Shimon Peres remembering my name, this is number three, it’s the rental car company that installed the child seat without me having to ask for it. It’s the flight attendant that memorizes passengers’ names before they board the airplane, in first class, of course, or it’s the hotel that remembers you have a pineapple allergy from a visit two years ago.
All of these stick to our minds simply because we did not expect them. Also called delighters, they’re the basis of making people fall in love with a person or even a brand, and it’s easy to harness that. Plus, it’s free.
Now, some jerks don’t remember anything about anyone. They couldn’t care less, right? The world is constantly evolving, and so are we. Whether in politics or business, we simply refuse to accept negative behaviors that were perfectly normal only a few years ago.
In a recent New York Times article, the authors call for no more working for jerks, especially since we’ve all been rebuilding our lives after the pandemic. I did wonder, though, who’s a jerk anyway, so I looked it up.
Britannica says it’s a person who’s not well-liked or treats others badly. Now, Urban Dictionary really hits the spot, if you ask me, by saying it’s the mandatory mindset for self-survival within corporate America.
Now, I really wanted to show you examples of jerky communication by using photographs of famous politicians, only there’s only so much it can do in public. So I’ll show you photos of my two little boys instead, as they can be the biggest actors.
According to Princeton University, there are three kinds of negative communication, harmful to ourselves and our relationships with others, and only one that’s positive. First, there’s passive communication. Second, there’s aggressive communication. The worst is passive-aggressive communication, which, by the way, was the hardest for my kids to act out.
The fourth, and only healthy and positive kind, is called assertive communication, the only way to lead to respectful and longer-term relationships. So how can we utilize it? I’ve spent thousands of hours working with highly successful people from dozens of industries and positions who cater to the world’s wealthiest, which also means most demanding customers.
I’ve analyzed how they communicate, in good times or bad, to figure out their secret sauce for positivity. Number one, we communicate with our bodies long before we switch our mouths on. A luxury real estate agent, for example, will never sit across the table from you, as that would feel like a subconscious barrier, implying rivalry, but next to you.
Or even better is to furnish our offices with round tables, because these don’t have sides at all. Even when they walk with you somewhere, they’ll make sure to walk side by side, signaling equality and partnership.
Now looking at these, there’s no way in the world to know who’s selling and who’s buying, right? That’s entirely the point. Hold on a minute, though. Can’t we do the exact same thing when we’re dating? Of course we can. We’re always selling something to someone. Here it’s an apartment. On a date, it’s something else.
Number two, the most successful salespeople in the world spend most of their days not speaking, but zipping it and listening. Something we all really, really suck at. As Denzel Washington said in American Gangster, the loudest in the room is the weakest in the room.
Finally, even when they are the ones to speak, they hardly ever say no. As a matter of fact, they hardly ever say any negative term whatsoever. This is number four. They say no without saying no. Now doesn’t that sound like a dream for all the introverts among us who have a hard time saying no?
Let me show you how. Private bankers, for example, speaking to clients of theirs worth billions, cannot say no, even when given an impossible request. Instead, they reframe their negative message into a positive one. Instead of saying what’s impossible, they’ll tell you what’s possible.
Instead of saying what they can do, they’ll say what they could do. Even when you ask them for a discount, no, that’s the real trick, they will tell you something like, we already gave you the best price. Now aren’t these all much more likable and positive versions of no? Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ever say no.
Sorry for disappointing dear introverts among us. It just means we can almost always find a positive alternative. Did you also notice they change your I’s into we’s? Excellent communication can never just be about you, unless you’re a narcissist. So scrap all your I’s from now on.
By the way, the word but is almost negative as a no. When we tell someone, I like you but you’re a jerk, do we like them? See, when we use the word but, we actually cancel anything we’ve said before it, so scrap that one too.
And yes, it takes a lot of hard work and practice. I can tell you though, I can now spend entire days without ever saying no. So let’s all un-jerk by using anything humanly possible. First impressions, the five senses, remembering little details, and scrapping all negativity from our words and posture. And it works in any single language.
Finally, a few years ago, in a Harvard Business Review article, Meijer and Greenberg answered the ultimate question of what makes a good salesperson. And it boils down to only two things: drive and empathy. I’d say positivity is the fine thread that connects them.
So what do my grandfather, Shimon Peres, and the most successful people in the world have in common? They’re all driven people magnets who constantly exercise positive communication. And are simply fun to hang around. We may think people are born as great communicators, but positivity is not magical, it is science.
As Shimon Peres said himself, “Optimists and pessimists die the same way, they just live differently.” I prefer to live as an optimist. Thank you.
SUMMARY OF THIS TALK:
Guy Katz’s talk “The Power of Positivity” offers insightful lessons on the transformative power of a positive attitude, drawing on personal experiences, scientific research, and historical anecdotes. Here are the key takeaways:
Resilience Through Positivity: Katz begins by sharing the story of his grandfather, Aryeh, a Holocaust survivor from Auschwitz. Aryeh’s survival strategy was to always smile and say yes, demonstrating how positivity can be a powerful tool for resilience even in the most dire circumstances.
Positive Attitude’s Impact on Success: Referring to the work of Shawn Achor and others, Katz highlights that happiness and positivity often precede success, not the other way around. He cites studies showing that happy employees are more productive, creative, and effective in sales.
First Impressions and Judgment: Katz discusses the rapidity and lasting impact of first impressions. He notes that we often make positive or negative judgments about people in a fraction of a second, which underscores the importance of presenting oneself positively from the outset.
The Multi-Sensory Approach: Katz emphasizes the importance of engaging all human senses to create positive experiences. He gives examples like the smell of fresh bread enhancing the appeal of a home for sale, indicating how sensory experiences can evoke positive emotions and memories.
Memorable Experiences and Surprises: Katz shares stories of memorable experiences, like his encounter with Shimon Peres, to illustrate how surprising and unexpected positive interactions make a lasting impact and can endear people to each other.
Communication Styles: He discusses different communication styles—passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive—emphasizing that assertive communication is the most positive and effective for building respectful, long-term relationships.
Body Language and Listening Skills: Katz stresses the importance of body language and the power of listening in communication. He notes that successful communicators often use physical positioning to convey partnership and spend more time listening than speaking.
Reframing Negative Responses: Katz advises on how to communicate negatively without using negative language. This involves reframing responses to focus on what can be done positively, rather than directly saying no.
Inclusive Communication: He suggests replacing personal pronouns like “I” with inclusive ones like “we” to foster better communication and advises against using the word “but,” which can negate preceding positive statements.
Drive and Empathy as Key Traits: Finally, Katz concludes by linking the concepts of drive and empathy, underscoring that positivity is the thread connecting these traits. He emphasizes that positivity is not an innate quality but a science that can be learned and practiced.
Katz’s talk illustrates that positivity, far from being a mere feel-good factor, is a powerful tool that can influence personal resilience, success, and interpersonal relationships. His insights encourage embracing positivity as a deliberate, practical approach in various aspects of life.
