Here is the full transcript of success and life coach Tony Robbins on Creating an Extraordinary Quality of Life at SuperSoul Sessions on Oprah Winfrey Network. To know more about the speaker, read the full bio here.
Books by the speaker:
Oprah Winfrey: I’m so excited for everyone here for what you’re about to experience. Tony Robbins! He’s big, too — another big man coming out here, a force of nature who has empowered millions and millions of people all over the world to change their lives.
A few years ago, I went to one of his seminars, thinking, “Ah, I’ll stay for an hour or two,” and I ended up staying all day and half the night into the morning walking on fire. So, I came to observe and left as a believer. And he flew himself and his team to Los Angeles just to be with us today. So I am so grateful to him for that.
This session is titled: “Creating an extraordinary quality of life.” And don’t we all want that, an extraordinary quality of life?
Tony Robbins: How you all doing? Hi, there. Wow!
Nice to see you all. Whoa-a-a, yes! Thank you very much. Please have a seat.
How you all doing? Whoo!
Oprah Winfrey: Go, Tony!
Tony Robbins: Listen, it’s a privilege to be here. My goodness, you don’t get this much estrogen anywhere in your life except with Oprah, right?
Have you had a beautiful time today? Yes! Yes. good.
Let’s have a hand for all the speakers. I didn’t get to hear them all, but I know of them, Gary Zukav, give them a hand for all of them — pastor. Whoa-a-a-a.
So, I was trying to figure out why Oprah brought me, because I’m a different flavor than you’ve been — is that fair to say, Oprah?
Oprah Winfrey: Yes.
Tony Robbins: You’ve had so many beautiful souls up here talking about, you know, really, how do you live your best life? How do you really come back to the truth of who you are? How do you own yourself so that there’s so much more of you to give to all that you love, and so that you’re filled up, so you’re not always on empty while you’re filling other people up? And I honor all of it.
My flavor has the same focus, and it has another piece. It’s different. It’s more like a trainer. It’s about “What the ‘F’ are you now going to do?”, because how many of you have been in an environment where you learn something, it really moves you, and you’re inspired, and you thought, “This is it. This is what I need for my life,” and you’re excited, and then you went home, and you didn’t apply any of what you learned?
Raise your hand if you’ve ever done this before and say “aye.”
Who’s done this more than once? — say “aye.”
Who still feels intelligent? say “aye.”
I’ve done it, too, and so I kind of became obsessed early in my life with — first, I’d get pissed off at myself. I’d be frustrated with myself, because I’d read or I’d attend something or I’d learn something, and then I wasn’t applying it at the level that I thought I should. Beating yourself up never changes it, because all it does — it put you in a lousy state. In a lousy state, you don’t perform at your best, you don’t apply things.
And so I really dug in, and what I began to realize is it was just conditioning, that all of us are really conditioned by our environment to kind of fit in. We’re conditioned to listen, to hear — like, what you’re doing right now is being so loving and respectful. You give me the gift very few humans give — you give me the gift of your attention, and I’m here to deliver for you. I will not betray your trust, or yours, Oprah.
My biggest challenge is the shortest thing I do is 50 hours, right? And Oprah gave me 90 minutes, which I understand from today is probably the most time you’ve spent. Sounds like a lot, but, you know, a minute feels like eternity when you hate what’s going on. And when you love what’s going on, days can go by, and it can feel like hours.
Who knows what I’m talking about here? – say “aye.”
And so, I’ve really focused on how to make that happen, but also to make sure that we take action, because you’ve heard so many beautiful philosophies today, and I think philosophy is what gives us the quality of life, but only if we act on it, right? It’s philosophy and strategy with action.
A philosophy you don’t act on is a dead philosophy. And so the secret is getting yourself to do it. And the problem is we all have trained, we’ve been conditioned and trained to learn in a passive state, which does not make you use what you learn. And it comes from going to a 20th-century school, which virtually everybody in this room did.
What happens in a 20th-century school? What’d you learn? The bell rings, and what are you supposed to do? Tell me, quick. You’re supposed to report to your…to your desk, your position. And why do they want you to do that as soon as the bell rings? And by the way, when it rings, you go to your position, what are you supposed to do — initiate, make things happen, start a conversation?
Now, what are you supposed to do when you got to your desk? What?
[Audience: sit down.]
Sit down and what?
Shut up. Don’t talk to your neighbor. Don’t do anything till you’re told what to do.
How many of you own your own business? I’m curious. Wow. Huge number.
How many of you in your own life are not willing to just wait for someone else to tell you what to do, either way?
If you’re in business, you wait for someone to tell you what to do, you’re out of business. If you don’t talk to your neighbor today, there’s no connection. There’s no impact. There’s no anything.
Now, when I was in school, I was a talker. I bet you’re surprised to hear that, aren’t you?
And I remember in my 5th grade class, I had this man named Mr. Giles. I’ll never forget Mr. Giles, because he hated children. Somehow, this was supposed to enhance his teaching technique. He hated children. He hated the sound of children. And so he would have these three-hour periods where you could not talk in class. And I could go about 90 minutes, right, and then something would slip out, and I’d have to write these 10,000-word essays why I’ll never talk again in class. I did six of them over the course of my 5th grade year.
Then I got to my high-school reunion 10 years later. I’ve become a fairly successful human being, and several of my teachers are there, including Mr. Giles. And I went up to him and said, “You know, this talking thing worked out pretty good for me.”
But my larger point is this: If you sit and learn in a passive state as you have today, it feels really comfortable, it feels really beautiful, and you take it in, and you feel all the emotion. But the problem is, there’s no sense of action tied to it.
So, if you’re sitting here right now, and let’s say we’re talking, like, “this makes sense,” or, “yeah, I really — I want to apply this,” or, “I think this would make a difference in my relationship,” or, “damn, he has big teeth.” whatever you’re thinking right now while you’re watching me.
But if you’re sitting here and you’re in a great state, but you’re learning like this, you might go, “That’s really important. I’m going to do that. I really am.” And later on, your brain will go, “you need to do that. you really do.”
And there’s not enough to push you over the edge. How many follow what I’m talking about here? –say “aye.”
So I’m going to ask you a couple things, and, one, you’re already doing it. If I ask you a question, please yell out the answer. It’s not so we have a revival session, because I don’t really believe in positive thinking. I never have. Oprah knows that. I believe in the truth. I believe in intelligence. I don’t think you should go to your garden and say, “there’s no weeds, there’s no weeds, there’s no weeds,” and chant a bunch of affirmations. I believe you got to find the weed and pull it out. That’s being pragmatic. That’s practical. That’s real. And you’re going to feel better when you’re taking the right actions. Or you can feel better by thinking nice thoughts, but then you’ll go back, and your life still won’t respect the results.
So my flavor is about results. My flavor is not about just discussion. And so it might feel a little bit jolting to you, because I’ve watched some of the talks, and they’re so laid-back and so enjoyable. But if you’re willing to try on the flavor, you might find there’s a skill set there that you might find useful in your life. Who’s open to it? Say “aye.”
Then if we yell back the answers, the other value is research shows that if you sit and listen passively, in 30 days, you’ll remember 10% of what I said, which means I wasted your time, and I wasted mine. I don’t want to waste your time or mine, and you don’t want to waste yours.
I came here with a heart saying I don’t come here to give a talk. I come here to make sure you have the chance, if you want to, to change your life today without any exaggeration or hyperbole in that statement, because what change — thank you. Give her a hand. Let’s do it. I like that.
Because the only thing that changes our life is not more information. Knowledge is not power. It’s potential power. What’s more important than knowledge? What’s more important than information?
That’s right. Execution trumps knowledge every day of the week, and lots of us — how many of you in this room already know lots of things you should be doing that would make your life better, but you’re not doing it? Raise your hand and say “aye.”
So, part of that is we’ve been trained to be passive, and I’d like to see if we can train ourself to be more active. So kind of the way to do this, to give you an example, might be to say, “let’s use our bodies in the most active way,” not just yelling back and forth, but we also want energy, because if you really think about it, what gets you to build something, create something, make something happen is energy. If the energy’s not there, you can have the best intent, you could have a beautiful heart, but you’re going to fall through.
In fact, if I said to you there are two people that loved each other, and they’re in a relationship, and they adore each other, and they both are living life where they feel so much passion, so much alive-ness — not just for each other, but the way they live their life. They’re in a beautiful state. They have high energy. They feel really good. They’re in what I would call just an extraordinary state of mind and heart.
What’s this relationship going to be like when two people are absolutely living the way they want to live, they’re not beating themselves up, they’re going for it, they’re succeeding and failing, but they’re feeling fully alive? How will the relationship be? You tell me. Good? Poor? Okay? Great? What will it be? It’s going to be incredible, because that energy puts us in a state where we’re going to do the right things automatically. You don’t have to work on it. It doesn’t take willpower when you’re in the right state.
But when you’re in the wrong state — let’s go to two people that are doing OK. Their life is not where they want it to be. They’re really not enjoying their work that much. They got frustrations with the children and they don’t have frustrations with each other, but they’re in that state all day long. And they both love each other, but they’re OK. What’s the relationship going to be like? Extraordinary, okay, or terrible? What would you say? OK. And OK really is terrible. Is it not?
If you say to a woman, “How’s it going?” “Okay.” Is it true? or a better one, “fine.” You all know what “fine” means, right? I know what “fine” means. I’m not a dumb guy, right?
But if you got two people in a really lousy state, low energy, lousy energy, it’s not about each other — they’re stressed about things. They’re overwhelmed. They have allowed the external world to control their internal world. They’ve lost their center and they love each other, and they’re both in lousy states. Are they going to say and do things that are going to mess this relationship up even though they love each other? Yes or no? Yes. You better believe it. So that’s the danger zone.
The other danger zone is, one of you’s in a great state, and one is in a crappy state, because when that happens — you work so hard to be in a good state. Why can’t they be happy?! Who knows what I’m talking about?
Or, honestly, if you’re extremely feminine, you’ll come down here and feel them with them so they feel solidarity, and now you both feel like [shit] we’ve made some real progress. Right? Who knows what I’m talking about here? – say “aye.”